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  1. So my son had a mishap at work with only one logical explanation

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    To the person who found them, put them in a managers office, which was going to be locked and no on there to open it when his shift was over...

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    They are CAR KEYS.  Anyone who found them knew someone needed them to get home.  It wasn't even complicated.  They have a bright chrome symbol on the fob indicating it they belong to a fairly recognizable vehicle...

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    Parked in eye shot of the front door of the building.

    So...person who locked them up and didn't bother to find out which of the maybe 20 employees in a small area drove said car...

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    I am going to take some deep breaths and go to my happy place...

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    Seriously, who does that?

  2. Musings of a Former Pole Dancer

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    The title explains it all: My MIL is moving back to the region where husband and I live. We are state line to her home state (and mine), so she will be uber close to us. NEITHER of us is excited or looking forward to this B moving back with her mother (who is also not excited).

    She's not a job type person, and already told GMIL she cannot get a job because she's unskilled. She's not even 60 yet. The unspoken truth is she is going to wait for her mother to die and leave her the trust fund she's expecting. It feels like a page from a fundie soap opera because I cannot even with the amount of laziness bullshit from her.

    I'll have more updates later. She's supposed to be back by October 1st, but we don't know if she's going to cancel and try to "work things out" with her abusive, bipolar, alcoholic husband (for the second or third time). 

    In case you were wondering, my MIL is nowhere near fundie or even religious. 

  3. Maggie Mae
    Latest Entry

    By Maggie Mae,

    I quit yesterday with one page left in this chapter. I had no idea. I would have finished had I known. No matter. We'll finish it now. To recap yesterday's work: 

    The impossibly blonde and beautiful blue-eyed bimbo Cathy and her hunk of burning love brother Christopher (hereby known as Chris, to avoid mix-ups with his father, also called Christopher.) play monopoly after being starved in an attic for several weeks while baby-sitting their younger siblings. Who are also very blonde and attractive and now consider Chris and Cathy their parents. This isn't weird, because Christopher married Corrine and he is actually her older half-brother/uncle. Christopher died in a car wreck, Michael Bay style. Check out the first entry in this series if you'd like to refresh your memory on that plot line (no, don't, I just told you. It was maybe one paragraph and shared through dialogue. The writer needed to save space for the riveting tale of Monopoly in Part Two). I will spare you the details of the Monopoly. Turns out it's just as boring to read about as it is to play. 

    So on the last page of the first chapter of part two, Chris whispers in Cathy's ear at night. It's late August and he would like to go swimming. Well, so would I. I can't imagine how gross that attic must be, late August, Virginia. Heat rises. Central Air is not a thing yet. It's also the attic and a small room that attaches to the attic on the top floor of the Foxworth Mansion. Cathy is sulky because she lost at Monopoly. Not because she was recently starved and kept in an attic while going through puberty with her older brother and twin younger siblings. Nope, she's sour because of monopoly. Not because her mother abandoned her, her friends are all in Pennsylvania, and her Grandmother poured hot tar in her hair (impossibly) while she was sleeping. 

    Chris is like "hey, I made a ladder so we can get out in case of fire." (I don't think it's foreshadowing. I think it's something that the ghostwriter decided to roll with). Cathy protests, he's like "we're stronger now and have to practice" They talk about leaving a note for the twins, who may or may not be able to read. 

    We learn that there are eight (8) chimneys on the roof. Chris has made a ladder out of sheets. There is no description of where the sheets came from. Magic sheets, I guess. 

    Chris explains to her how to climb down the rope he made, because in 1950, if girls took gym, their uteruses would fall out. 

    The final line of the chapter: 

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    Smiling with confidence, he held to the rope and inched his way to the very edge of the roof. We were going down to the ground for the first time in more than two years. 

    DUM DUM DUHHHHHN. 

    What will happen next? Will they decide to run away and contact a LEO to retrieve their siblings and put them in foster care? Did foster care exist in the 1950s? Will they happen across a kindly stranger in a cabin in the woods who is also a witch who wants to eat children? Will they get caught? Find out next time! 

  4. BlackberryGirl

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    BlackberryGirl
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    Whoa!  Last night was weird as hell. At some point within minutes of me falling asleep, Mark took my hand and kissed it, in his sleep, and I went through the ceiling. I was startled awake and somehow thought a heyena had licked my arm. 

    Then a couple hours later I surfaced to see a ninja in full black costume jump over the bed and crouch by the window. 

    Fuck. Obviously I didn't go back to sleep. I had taken tramadol twice yesterday for the migraine and arthritis. I generally average 2 tramadol every 6 months or so..and its the lowest dose. Apparently some lucky people have halucinations as a side effect to tramadol. 

    I need some kind  of pain relief. Codiene is absolutely out.  At least the headache is gone and I feel generally better. Stil need to make dr Appointment, they are closed today, I'll call tomorrow. 

  5. Maggie Mae
    Latest Entry

    By Maggie Mae,

    This is NOT your grandmothers macaroni salad, and I am not Hawaiian. This is more of a knockoff of the West Coast chain restaurant - L&L. Found in food courts, this recipe is far from healthy. 

    Salt your water. This is the only time you get to season your pasta. So dump some kosher salt in the water. Alton Brown I believe once said it should taste like mermaid tears. I use a fair amount and find it difficult to add too much. 

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    Boil the water and cook the noodles. I use elbow noodles, but I also live in a far off place and often Safeway is out. So unless I'm in the mood to head down the road and find out that Freddie's is out too, I will substitute mini penne or something else similar in size. Noodles should be Al dente. I don't have times for you. Taste your noodles or follow the directions on the box.

    Drain the noodles. Rinse with cold water to stop them from cooking. I do a quick rinse and then add them to the mayo while still warm. This is a personal preference. If your noodles are still warm, they will absorb the mayo. If they are chilled, they get the silky dressing that other people prefer. Good cooking is about knowing your own tastes. 20180612_190226.thumb.jpg.b112632a0cdb5356eb548015993b5200.jpg

     

    Add them to the chopped onion, green onion, and 🥕. I usually do my veggie prep first. So hopefully you followed the one rule of cooking and read the entire recipe before starting. 

    I usually use about 1 cup of mayo to 1/2 a pound of dry noodles (half a box). 

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    I think it goes well with a shot of Jameson, the food of my people. The cutting board looks dirty, but it's also stained with bad lighting. I don't wash between veggies, but i do clean and santatize after working with meat.

    Once everything is combined, shove the entire concoction in the fridge. Let the flavors get to know each other. 

     

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    Don't forget to salt the water! 

    Oh, and white pepper at the end. It'll look better than black pepper. 

     

    You can pair this with fake kalua pork. Take a pork butt, rub with liquid smoke and salt, and place in a crock pot. Cover and cook until it's done. Shred with a fork. Eat.

  6. Gotta start those homemaker skills early!

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    Francesca and Elijah ended up sleeping in each other's beds, but I didn't regard it as a big problem. You can claim beds in Sims 3, such that they will automatically sleep in those beds. 

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    Bethany dancing this time. Perhaps they're OK with it?

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    Francesca really needed the loo one morning, but it was filthy so she had to clean it.

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    OK. It's official, the Taylors are OK with dancing. Melissa gets involved. I have Classical music playing all the time, so it's not ebil pop with a beat.

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    Joey mastered the Gardening skill!!

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    Bethany decided to try and sell some baked goods. Sadly, nobody bought anything.

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    I managed to get everyone in shot! That's Diana talking to Joey; kids with the Excitable trait often pretend to rule over an imaginary kingdom, dressing up in a costume and with a crown. Only God can really rule over a kingdom, though! It was an automatic action, and with eight people in a household you can't control everyone at once.

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    What's this? It's a cute little kitten! His name is Jacob.

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    Bethany did get a customer one day, but Patricia Bedlington didn't buy anything. Joey's not looking at Patricia's vest and shorts. Plus, the visitor is a vampire...

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    The twins age up! 

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    We can have family band practice now. I wish I could attach a video file of the music they're playing, but I can't. It sounds pretty cool when they jam together. There are two styles, "Jam" and "Blues". 

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    Whenever someone plays an instrument, the others like to come and watch. This is mostly OK, except when they're supposed to be going to bed. Then it's just stupid. Oi, you're tired, go to bed. You can watch your mom play the piano tomorrow.

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    Everyone's off to school! 

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    Cleaning up around the house isn't just for the girls in this family. Or is he doing something else...?

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    Oh noes! Melissa's hair! Turns out Andrew was playing a prank. Fairies love to prank. I don't get the Taylors to do it much, but Andrew was having a mood swing and had a wish to play a prank.

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    Melissa wanted to earn some money by playing piano in the park, but no-one gave her any tips. Perhaps I'll try somewhere else.

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    Joey decided to enter a hot dog eating contest.

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    The natural consequence of stuffing your face... throwing up afterwards.

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    A couple of days later, we got another kitten. This is Eliza, short for Elizabeth. Jacob was pretty lonely, so I got another pet of the same species. 

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    I still intend to take them on vacation one day. I don't know where I'll go. Maybe France.

  7. So, my driving school had a almost three week long brake and the day I was supposed to have my first lesson after that break my instructor called and said that the car is broken. Well, so on Monday I will have my next lesson, a week later than planned. 

    We are now nearing the end of it I guess. There are two exam dates in September, but I don't think we will be able to pick on of them due to the week lost due the broken car. And also I want to go on in the same, slower, way like I did so far. Never change what works. So maybe in October. 

    I have time, also because I have no car. The market for small automatic cars is pretty small right now. Apparently they are very sought after. Current planned car is a Honda Jazz/Fit. We want to do a test drive in one this weekend. The car dealer said that it is not clear if they have a car available so we'll see if that works out. Because they have no problems in selling their cars, they seem not to car too much about test drives and all of that. If the CVT is good and the traffic sign recognition works I think the choice for the Jazz is made. If not we will have to look maybe into the Mazda 2. Or my original choice of a VW Polo. I do like the Japanese cars more because they have better stuff in them. 

  8. Imrlgoddess
    Latest Entry

    Yay for a long weekend, but we'll be back at it with a vengeance tomorrow. I have been attempting to do some laundry today but apparently the basket (full or empty) is kitty territory. Thor was being swipey kitty to the Princess through the handle holes until she informed him that she wasn't amused.

    So now he's just protecting my ungodly swimwear. They'll get put away eventually. 

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  9. This blog post may be a little more vague than my others, as I'm not sure exactly how much detail I want to get into regarding my personal experience of sexuality as I grew up fundie Calvinist. But I do think it's an important subject, and I've seen so many questions on FJ about different fundies and how they understand and experience sex. I can't speak to each family, of course, but I'm reasonably certain that my upbringing was not far from the fundie norm.

    So to start: sex education. We didn't have any. Or, more accurately, when I was 11 years old I was given a pamphlet called Almost 12 by Kenneth Taylor, which is still available on Amazon. It had very minimal information, and my mother glued black construction paper over the two-page illustration that, I assume, was of naked people. I had no discussion of the book with my parents: I think my mother asked if I had any questions, and I said no. Of course I said no; I was mortified. 

    So I had some idea that "sex" involved putting a penis inside a vagina (no idea of any actual mechanics, positions, etc.). Also "petting" and kissing before marriage was bad and wrong, and that courtship was the God-approved way to find a marriage partner. I read so many books on courtship, although I blessedly escaped Josh Harris' semenal work (yes, I made a pun, sue me). Josh Harris was actually a second wave for us; my younger siblings read his book, I think. I remember some of the books I read: Jeff McLean: His Courtship (Castleberry), Dear Princess (Landis), and some crap by Doug Wilson. 

    The church I grew up in had no position on courtship or dating. Premarital sex was taboo, of course. The pastor and his wife taught abstinence courses in the local schools, so they were pretty adamant about waiting until marriage. It was my parents who pushed the idea that daughters should submit to their fathers in everything, including choice of marriage partner. They had a lot of books on Dominionism and Reconstructionism, which are so anti-women's rights it's not even funny. I devoured those books; I'm not sure what that says about my self-esteem at the time. 

    When I started getting periods, I told my mother that I was bleeding. I knew what it was, but I was embarrassed to tell her. She said "Oh, you must be getting your..." and trailed off, and my idea that menstruation was embarrassing was reinforced. I knew where the pads were: we didn't use tampons as that might break your hymen, which was your proof of virginity. 

    Some of my younger sisters ended up coming to me for their periods/problems with their periods, and I helped them as best I could. I studied enough science to have a pretty good idea about what was going on during a woman's cycle during my teen years. I still had no real understanding of sex. My doctor suggested putting me on birth control for my irregular, painful periods, and I wouldn't take birth control because it "could cause abortions." (I knew I couldn't get pregnant without having sex, but I still saw BC as evil). 

    From a very young age, I had realized that rubbing myself in certain areas felt good, and I did that for years. I had a sense that it was not an approved activity, so I did it privately, with feelings of guilt that I did not understand. I did not know there was a word for it, or that it was a sexual activity, or what an orgasm was when I first had one. But when I was 16 I came across the word "masturbation" and looked it up secretly in the dictionary. I was horrified to find that I had been engaging in a sexual activity outside of marriage. I wasn't sure that I could be considered a virgin anymore, and I was afraid that no good Christian man would want me after what I had done. I went cold turkey off the masturbation for years, riddled with secret shame. 

    Even after I started becoming less fundie, it took years for me to let go of the sex guilt that I had grown up with. Now I embrace my sexuality. I've gone from thinking "penis" is a bad word to writing erotic stories and selling them online, and I definitely know how the Legos fit together, haha. And I'm happy to say that my siblings, for the most part, also refused to stay repressed. 

    If there's a moral to this story, it's probably that if you have kids, you need to help them understand sex and sexuality. Make sure they know about consent, protection, STDs, pregnancy, anatomy, periods, masturbation, nocturnal emissions, same-sex attraction, bisexuality, asexuality, porn, and whatever else they might need to know to be safe, sane, consenting, kind, knowledgeable people in their sex lives. I look back at my lack of education and the sexual taboos I grew up with, and wonder how I got out of it without even more significant damage. (I do have some issues that I'm not comfortable sharing on a public forum, but I've read things about other people's difficulties that are much worse). 

    I know that sexual repression can occur without fundamentalist Christian beliefs. I think my family would have been secretive and embarrassed about these subjects even without the fundamentalism. But the fundamentalism added a huge dose of guilt and shame to everything, along with homophobic religious beliefs and forbidding any sexual outlet outside of marriage. It's more difficult to let go of certain teachings when you're afraid of God and Hell. 

    I hope this was helpful, or informative, or mildly interesting. Fundamentalist Christianity can go fuck itself. 

     

     

  10. Wild, Wandering, Wondering

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    wild little fox
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    I don't know what happened but suddenly my depression has disappeared. I'm looking forward to the future. 

    I have gone as far as starting an exercise program I found on YouTube. It's for people with mobility issues to get them moving forward. I've been able to do the first episode three times. Today I purchased some hand weights designed for walking but they will fit in my hands without exasperating my hand pain. 

    My t-shirt fit better this morning because I'm already tightening up in my upper body. My pants were too long so I know I'm moving forward. I did need to use my cane when walking to and from the courthouse, but overall I'm feeling stronger. I'm looking forward to doing the program tomorrow. 

    Goals:

    Keep at it.

    Find a picture or pictures of bicycles. When I drop some weight I'm buying one! Mobility this winter in SoCal will be so much easier.

     

     

     

     

  11. I'm old, so I apologize for using a blog for this because I can't find the jibber-jabber place to post random things like this. 

    You know where the ads are on FJ, right?  We all do, and 9 times outta 10 I couldn't tell you what the ad was for because I just ignore them.  But Sears,  somehow, popped up with an ad for power tools.  Lots of power tools and tool boxes.  And a Windola (maybe not exactly a Windola, but I'm close).  After clicking on her and finding out you can do so many different things with her I decided I'd lingered long enough on the ad.  Gods know what's going to show up on the ad space NOW since I showed an interest in a poseable life-size barbie doll.  

    Has anyone else been blessed with this abomination or is it just me?!  

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  12. Welcome back to 66 Goodbook Avenue! It's been another long time away, as the Sims 4 Seasons update messed with my game (and also I got married!). But we're back! And it's starting to get crazy. 

    First, let's have an update on Elsie! She actually had a great year and was promoted to caterer! Yay! Now she works 3pm-11pm which works SO much better than overnights for her single-mom life. Elsie continues to live a less-fundie lifestyle, and during one of Romano's naps, even googled herself and found her way to internet forums!!!!! See you on FJ, Elsie!

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    For the Edens proper, the first thing you should know is that due to the Sims 4 update messing with my mods Edens' pastor proclaiming bunk beds are of Say-un (no one can see what's going on in that top bunk!), the bedrooms were re-configured, with Elsie's old room becoming a toddler nursery. 

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    The second thing you should (already) know is that the Edens can't keep their legs closed.

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    #12 is on its way! 

    The Edens were very busy in year 14/2023. Eva's efforts were focused not on her children, but on writing "Queen of her Castle: How to train up daughters with servant hearts so that Mama can rest." Notice Genesis potty-training a little, Numbers doing laundry, and Deuteronomy practicing the violin as Eva ignores them all to write. (Also Ruth is dancing half-naked. You go Ruth!)

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    Well, sadly Ruth (#8) turned 4 years old and had to put on clothes and start the SOTDRT.  This inquisitive little cherub is now a budding art-lover growing her hair out for her daddy Nathan Bates Jesus.

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    The Edens had another big birthday later in the year. Goofy Exodus (#2) turned 12 which is the start of teenage years for our Edens! He has matured into a good and good-looking, if rather-boring, adolescent who loves children, and will surely take heart pieces in the future. 

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    Lastly on the birthday train, baby Chronicles (#11), born on Halloween of the previous year, grew into a charming toddler full of absolute spirit. I cannot WAIT for this one to grow up, y'all!

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    Like seriously. 

    What are the other kids up to? Leviticus (#3) holds unsuccessful youth groups in his continued attempts to be a little preacher,

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    Deuteronomy (#5) likes it when her daddy reads to her, and boy does he have a soft-spot for his cheerful and sweet fundie princess, 

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    and all the kids love when Elsie comes to visit. (Notice bookworm Judges (#7) still reading). Especially Genesis.

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    As you may have guessed from the blog title, she's having a rough year. Being 13 is usually the pits, and Genesis is a 13 year-old sister-mom who cooks, cleans, and child trains, all while focusing on her violin training (actual passion) and (not really) keeping up with home-schooling. PLUS she's expected to keep sweet for all of this AND all of her "best friends" are her siblings. YIKES! The countenance is beginning to break. 

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    Actually the countenance exploded, and Genesis had a legit meltdown.

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     "I HATE THIS FAMILY! I just want to watch Harry Potter and go to the mall like a NORMAL PERSON!!"

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    "Now Genesis honey, what would Jesus say about your disposition right now? Are you J-O-Y-ing?"

    While Genesis was out of commission reflecting on her life, Exodus stepped up, deigning to cook mac and cheese and reading to the littles. 

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    This weird thing also happened when both Exodus and Elsie tried to teach Samuel how to stack blocks. Deuteronomy had no comment. 

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    After giggling with Exodus watching something on a NOT flip phone of shame *gasp*

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    And remembering that people who watched Harry Potter were going to Hell, Genesis was back to her old self. 

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    But...the tiniest cracks remain. Will they be enough to get Genesis out of fundie-land? We will all find out in several Sims years. Until next time, Edens out!

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    applejack
    Latest Entry

    I'm sorry that I've not come back with this blog and tips and tricks!

    I took a vacation - the first vacation I'd taken in 8 years! - to Seattle in March, where I got to finally meet my best friend in person, and we got to go see Hamilton on tour! Then I fell into a Stardew Valley on the Switch rabbit hole, and I was a bridesmaid in a wedding, and then... well. Work. Lots of work, lots of turn around. And Cubs games on TV to watch, and my boys in pinstripes kind of take precendence since I get to watch so few games because of work and refusing to shell out $90 a year for MLB.tv.

    I might change my focus of this blog (because I have a fafillionty Stardew screencaps!), but I'll try to still put some makeup stuff in here too.

  13. My grandmother was born in 1898 and died at the age of 102 in 2001, thus living a life touching three centuries.  At the time of her death she was of diminished stature and eyesight but was otherwise ‘healthy’.  She had never contracted polio, as my grandfather had, and she was never stricken with cancer or heart disease, or any other ailment.  She simply died of old age as her body just could not sustain life anymore.

    My grandmother lived most of her life in England, moving to Canada when she was eighty.  She survived two world wars, and was not among the millions of people who perished in the bombings or in concentration camps.  

    Grandma was not in Manchester in 1996, nor was she on Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie.

    She was not visiting the World Trade Centre or the Pentagon in 2001.  She was not on a flight that day destined for a quiet field in Pennsylvania.  

    She was not on a train in beautiful Madrid in 2004, nor was she strolling along the Promenade des Anglais in Nice in 2016.  She adored visiting Paris, but was not there in November of 2015.  My grandmother was not enjoying a summer afternoon on La Rambla in Barcelona last year.  She was also not crossing London Bridge in the city she loved so much.

    My grandmother would likely never have gone to the Pulse nightclub in Orlando and, similarly, would not have enjoyed a wonderful country festival in Las Vegas.  Grandma was not in Oklahoma City or San Bernadino, nor was she teaching innocent children in Dublane, Scotland or Sandy Hook, Connecticut, or Parkland, Florida.

    My grandmother was also not walking on Yonge Street in Toronto yesterday.  

    In over a hundred years she was never in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not once. But so, so many other people were.  They left home one day and never returned. None will live to the age my grandmother did. They have all had their futures stolen from them and their families have been forever destroyed.  Simply because they were in those places at the worst possible moment. In many of those instances, a few short minutes was the difference between life and death.

    I’m glad my grandmother was not alive to witness 9/11 and the continuous horrors exacted across the globe in the subsequent years. I sometimes imagine that human beings are an experiment; one that will prove to be a complete and utter failure.  It seems we will never cease finding ways to kill each other.  

    Yes, my grandmother was lucky. As am I as I write this post. And all of you, my lovely FJ friends, are, too. I hope we will all be as fortunate as my grandmother.

     Because it is all just so fucking random.  

  14. The Fundees - Sims Style

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    nomoxian
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    Despite keeping Jill away from David as much as possible when Steve and Steve 2 were at work, she still liked-liked him more. Steve was too boring and the other Steve was too angry for her tastes.

    David and Mrs David - not Ms. thank you very much! - got married in a Godly church, and are currently waiting for God to bring them their first child. In the meantime, David is spending his days fishing in Gods green gloryness, and Mrs David is spending her time singing Godly tunes to praise Him. She hopes that God will provide a guitar and piano, though she wonders how a piano will fit in the RV since there is barely enough room for the crib. Darn Sims baby is required to sleep in a crib even though their bedroom with attached private bathroom has more than enough room for a cage.

    (I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this. I was playing it with the hopes she would end up with someone else, so the gameplay would be more interesting and less... real.)

  15. I'm jumping ahead a bit in time here, but hopefully, I'll be able to do some catch-up posts in the next couple of days. Anyway, the Lord has decided to bless the O'Hurleys with twins. In addition to the two toddlers already in the house. Thankfully, Matthew is only one day away from aging up. I caved and used the free real estate cheat to buy them a nice big house in Brindleton Bay. Now, I'm off to look into the MC Commander mod since we've almost got a full house already!

  16. HarryPotterFan
    Latest Entry

    By HarryPotterFan,

    One of my closest friends is getting married this weekend. Since her initials will become PBJ, I made her this card. Now I have to figure out what to write inside. I feel so much pressure!

    Spoiler

    AF607C48-B487-405E-9CF9-FC467CCD0868.thumb.jpeg.d6f8c6355b72cac489eaf7c3839d1f3b.jpeg

    There’s also a memorial they visit every time they are in town and is the location where her fiancé proposed. So nce it’s small I couldn’t find any souviners online as a gift, so I contacted park services. I spoke with someone there and got them a magnet and postcard, which I’m putting in the envalope as well.

  17. Don't get me wrong.  I actually do love my sister.  Except when I do not.  And she has made it really really hard to love her in the last (doing the math here)  3.5 years.  (no really last 'contact' was June 2014 in a cryptic 'stand down, I'm alive' Facebook post - oh and this was in the period when I was getting Mom diagnosed with dementia and dealing with drive-offs and actually needed to talk to her).  

    And yesterday was her birthday.  And Facebook likes to remind me of this because her birthdays are turned on (for the record, mine is not because I don't always react well to 'everybody' screaming happy birthday at me for days) - even though her last post was June 2014.  

    I assume she is alive.  That assumption is based on statements I receive (no, really) regarding her storage unit when the payments are late.  My means of communicating with her is via facebook messages that indicate no receipt but trust me they are getting through somehow (I care not how) because a few months ago the storage unit threatened to sell her stuff and I communicated that to her and for a month or so no notice.  In the mail today - yup, another notice about late payment.  So I just sent another message and the lovely I miss you pangs have reverted back instantaneously to I hate you.  

    My suspicion based on a limited about of internet research/stalking is that she's having financial issues and hiding from creditors (because that is always a great way to deal with issues).  And I cannot help her if she doesn't want to be helped (as indicated by her hiding from everyone).  

    I did not wish her a public happy birthday yesterday because in the past that has resulted in friends of hers, some dating back to high school coming out of the woodwork and then I have to go through this whole weird explanation of I have zero clue what is going on or where she is.  Which always feels so sad and stupid.  I'll also admit to not attending certain family functions (mainly on the paternal side) because my uncle is going to ask about her and really I want him to leave it (and about half dozen other subjects) alone but he won't.  (and really dude, you are my father's brother and you know how he was so whey the hell are you of all people expecting me to know or figure out or get through to my sister who is acting the same way he did)??

    The positive news of the morning from the same batch of mail is that the Recovering State of Brownbacistan has renewed Mom's Medicaid for another year.  

  18. Christmas is over, New Year is gone, I'm out of excuses. Back to weekly posting plan.


    And, so, what's going on in Ranford household?

    To be honest, not much. Life continued in familiar, chaotic misery. 

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    Viola started a new parenting strategy. You put a crying baby on floor and lecture it. Very fundie-like, and very unproductive. 

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    She decided to share this wisdom to the world with her first book. Basically, it’s a collection of her blog posts, but readers now must pay money for it. 
    Smart life choices!
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    Reed is a bit of a bully towards Huckleberry. He gets along with twins and doesn't care about quads yet, but every time he sees Huck with a toy, he takes it away. 
    Zachary and Viola would encourage Huck to give Reed his favorite childhood position, but, unfortunately, Huckleberry doesn't have anything that belongs just to him. 
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    But Reed has a good side, too. He catches more fishes in one day than Zachary has managed to catch in his entire life. 

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    The fishes Reed provides is the main food source for entire family now. 

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    And he remembers to pick up all the old bottles from kitchen floor. And, trust me, there are lot of bottles. 

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    #StoryTime: During one night a total stranger entered a house!!! Viola was busy potty training Huckleberry and didn't notice until it was too late!

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    The ungodly stranger turned out to be a hobby instructor! They are almost as bad as social workers, running around and telling kids that it's ok to enjoy something!!
    (Apparently, Forest likes this one particular toy so much he has gained enough enthusiasm to be in zone. And he is only toddler. I'll take it as a sign.)

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    And, yes, no pregnancy announcement from Ranfords... Have Lord closed Viola's womb? Without giving her a precious little baby girl? Or is this just temporally hardship that will be overcome with combination of praying and sweet fellowshiping? Viola sure hopes so. 

  19. Life

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    Currently trying to find what gets vaseline out of a toddlers hair my toddler joy got into the vaseline and I'm wondering how the heck im going to get this out of her hair. How many washes will this take to come clean this is gonna be a long night

  20. Hey everyone! In advance of Thanksgiving, I thought I'd share a family turkey recipe! Fair warning, this takes FOREVER to cook. I do it in advance of the big day.  Enjoy.

    Sauce: Enough for or a 15 pound turkey or smaller  

    Ingredients:

    Relajo (spice mix).. you can find this at some Mexican grocery stores in a little baggie or make your own

    ---chile ciruela

    ---chile wake

    ---ajonjoli

    ---pepitoria

    ---laurel

    ---ajo

    3 chopped onions

    2 Red bell peppers chopped

    1/2 small can tomato paste 

    12 peeled tomatoes (from a can, buy two large cans and use 12, plus juice)

    2 cartons Chicken stock

     

    Directions:

    Toast the relajo on a frying pan until its fragrant 

    Cook the onions until transluesent, add bell peppers and relajo

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    Add tomatoes and tomato juice 

    Cook low and bubbly for 30 min 

    Blend the sauce as fine as possible (you can use regular blender, but let it cool before blending, or immersion blender)

    Add half carton of chicken stock and cook for 20 min

    Get another pot. Place a fine strainer over the empty pot, and slowly strain the sauce into the pot using a spoon to push the sauce against the strainer and squeeze as much juice out as possible. This juice should be thin and red. Place the pulp into a bowl and repeat until all the thick blended sauce is strained.

    Now take the pulp and put it back in the original pot, adding another half carton of stock. Cook for 20 min.

    Repeat the straining. Cook one more time with more broth. Strain again. (so three rounds of cooking and straining)

    You can throw away the pulp, and what you have left in the pot is your sauce! Season to taste. If its too sour, mix in some brown sugar

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    For the turkey:

    Ingredients:

    ·      Butter

    ·      Mustard

    ·      Worcestershire sauce

    ·      1/2 cup white wine

    ·      Stuffed spanish olives

    ·      Capers

    ·      Salt

    ·      Pepper

    ·      Paprika

     

    Directions:

    The night before, poke the turkey with a fork. Rub the butter, mustard, and worcestershire sauce all over the turkey and get inside the skin

    Put the turkey in a pan with the sauce, olives and capers drained, white wine, paprika and cook in oven. 

    Make sure you baste often it while its cooking

     

    The sauce gets its final flavor from the turkey. After cooking with the turkey, it can be frozen used as sauce on other things.  Also, a good Salvadoran post-thanksgiving meal is pan con pavo/ pan con chumpe, which is a turkey sandwich with the sauce, radishes, and cucumbers. Use a crusty bread.

     

    Sauce can be made a week in advance, and keep in Tupperware in the fridge. Or freeze if holding for longer.

     

    Throwback to last year's stuffing recipe: 

     

     

  21. If you’ve read my posts on FJ for a while, you’ve probably heard me mention that I have scoliosis.  I underwent a spinal fusion when I was fourteen, and I’ve had a fourteen-inch titanium rod with screws and hooks holding it into place against my spinal column. As you can imagine, this sometimes gets uncomfortable.

    Spoiler

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    Now, from what we can tell now, I inherited the gene from my mother’s side of the family—because guess who also has scoliosis? That’s right, everybody’s favorite, Aunt PJ. To be clear, the difference between my scoliosis (and subsequent surgery) and Aunt PJ’s scoliosis is something like this:

    MILDSCOLIOSISTREATMET.JPG.dc65921608a999de801aac3707b35a03.JPGcommon-spine-surgery-casestudy.jpg.ddfa170118311f3e46b38d2fee9561da.jpg

    Necessary disclaimer: I don’t doubt that Aunt PJ’s scoliosis causes her discomfort—I’m sure it does. But, as you can see, it’s akin to comparing a deep paper cut with someone who just cut their finger off in a cigar cutter. I can't tell you what I wouldn't give for a ten percent curve, even after my surgery. That doesn’t stop Aunt PJ, though, and she wants you to know she’s in horrific. pain. every. day. Of course she does.

    Spoiler

    raw

    Given that we have the same diagnosis, it should come as a shock that when I had my surgery (and subsequent lengthy hospital stay and recovery time), Aunt PJ didn’t reach out to me once, either through card or phone call. But that’s Aunt PJ for you—if it’s not about her, it’s not important.

    Spoiler

    trassel-animering.gif

    After the death of my grandmother, my mother moved back to her home state and moved into the family home to help settle the estate. As I’ve mentioned previously, Aunt PJ also lived there with two of her three children. This was also my first year in college, and I couldn’t come home from school to visit my mother. Why, do you ask? Because there wasn’t a decent bed available to me to sleep in, a requirement in my life post- surgery. That’s right, a woman with scoliosis wanted me to just sleep on a cot. I ended up not visiting my mother for a year, until she moved. Four beds in the house and no one could give one up for a couple of nights so I could sleep and still walk in the morning.

    Spoiler

    aa857d872365575c_Tina-Fey-the-Worst.gif

    Over the years, Aunt PJ’s scoliosis has supposedly gotten worse. She posts frequently about her pain and discomfort on Facebook and in person, eliciting sympathy from kinder-hearted folk than me. She now visits a chiropractor and refuses to sit on soft seating such as sofas and armchairs. Several times, Aunt PJ sat on a dining room chair and explained to me that her scoliosis kept her from sitting on the couch…while I was sitting on the couch. Trust me, Aunt PJ, if my twisty straw of a back can handle it, so can yours. 

    Spoiler

    shoutouttomycouch.gif

     

    So each and every visit I have with her, I get to hear about her wretched, pain-filled life (in which she is healthy enough to travel long distances, sit and stand for extended lengths of time, and participate in physical activities like yoga and going to the gym--you know, stuff that is difficult for me to do). And does she ever ask me how I’m managing? Yeah, you have two guesses and the first one doesn’t count.

    Spoiler

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  22. Keeping Up With The Dunkels - Chapter 14: Dunkels Double Date

     

     

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    Back at the Miceli's, Hobart brought his doctor friend home for dinner again one night, and one of Adalyn's sisters just happened to be visiting to help with the baby.

     

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    Wow! Aimee Joy and Christian seemed to be hitting it off! "What do you think about an ice cream sundae reception?" she asked him.

     

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    "Huh? That's crazy."

    Hmm... maybe not.

     

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    Uh oh... is there trouble at Adam and Mehrissa's new house?

     

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    Nope! Apparently when you adopt a pet, the police are nice enough to bring it over. Er... sure. Why question it? Adam and Mehrissa's boys had been begging for a pet for ages, and their parents finally decided to get them a little puppy named Bear. Aww!

     

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    With Mehrissa expecting another (hopefully) tiny blessing, it sure was going to be a full house soon! She wore her hot pink maternity pajamas, hoping God might take the hint.

     

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    Not long after Aimee Joy was introduced to Hobart's doctor friend Christian Cwik, Anna Grace started talking to another young man from church, Waylon Menon. She was a little worried when he expressed his admiration for women who kept in shape - that wasn't her at all! But it COULD be her! 

     

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    After Waylon left, Anna Grace jumped right on that treadmill. She got off to a rocky start, but she purposed to work out every single day, determined to win Waylon's affections, and soon she was physically fit!

     

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    "Wow, I can tell you're a young lady with a heart for the Lord, who also LOVES to lift!" Waylon exclaimed, impressed, and promptly went to talk to her brother to see if he could start a group text.

     

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    *To the tune of Butterfly Kisses* "I know the cake looks funny, Daddy... but I sure tried!

    Oh... wait... my daddy's dead. And he wasn't my real daddy, anyway. Oh well."

    :pb_eek:

     

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    Guess what? Christian and Aimee Grace Joy (I am seriously surprised I don't mess up these names more often, folks) may have gotten off on the wrong foot (seriously, ladies, enough with the ice cream sundaes), but soon they were getting along just fine. In fact, little adopted brother Alexander was only too happy to chaperone as they started an OFFICIAL COURTSHIP!

     

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    Aimee Joy was thrilled that her educated and employed suitor took her out on nice dates (don't worry, the chaperones are right there at the next table). She didn't mind at all that he had a gay brother in the city. What was one gay brother?! They were totally in sync on everything. They even discussed the sort of house they would move to if, Lord willing, they got married!

     

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    Anna Grace wasn't far behind her twin sister. Her dates with Waylon were a little more low key, but she didn't mind at all. She was more than happy to show off her homemaking skills by impressing him with the most complicated meal any of her sisters had ever made: spaghetti and meatballs.

     

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    Both sisters were totally sure they had found the men they were going to marry! FINALLY!!! Being single in your mid-20s is such a trial, ya'll!

     

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    Back in the Big Scary City... Abigail was still fuming about the way Gilbert had treated her. She decided she was finally going to take the plunge and try online dating.

     

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    Her first date was with a firefighter in a trench coat. She thought that was kind of weird, and she'd had bad luck with guys in trench coats - plus, all she could keep thinking about was how mad she was at Gilbert. But she decided to give trench coat man 3.0 a shot anyway.

     

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    Sadly he turned out to be totally meh. All he could talk about was himself, and Abigail found herself far more interested in the basketball game on TV than him. She didn't even like sports!

     

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    A couple weeks later, she had another date lined up with a guy named Neil. This guy seemed much more promising. He looked normal, didn't wear a trench coat, and didn't try to jump into bed with her on the first date (which is a good thing, since Abigail is still trying to get over her fundie upbringing and hasn't had the best of luck with dudes and, er, hasn't even kissed a guy yet. Shh...)

     

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    WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS.

    Abigail and Neil planned to meet up for another date the following week. When he texted her to let her know he was outside, she asked him to come in, because she was going to be about another five minutes getting ready. But when he walked in the door, he was dressed like THAT.

    "Um, hey Neil, what's up with the outfit?" she asked with a light laugh, trying not to show her alarm. "Are you in a play tonight or something?"

    "What? Nope, 'course not. I'm taking you out on a date. This is just how I dress. Haha! I know it may seem weird, but I'm part of a plant-worshiping group and we have to dress like this to do our rituals. It's not a big deal, we just have sexual intercourse with plants to gain their leafy powers for ourselves. I was hoping you'd come to tonight's meeting with me."

     

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    Abigail kindly asked him to leave.

    "Fuck you, Gilbert!" she thought to herself, as Neil walked out the door. Some misdirected anger there, I think, but okay.

     

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    Things were going much better back at the Dunkel homestead. The twins' suitors coordinated between themselves to do a... double proposal! Oh my gosh! How sweet and how neat! 

     

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    Aimee Joy and Anna Grace were absolutely ecstatic. This time they both say, "YES!" Looks like there's a double wedding in the (VERY NEAR) future!

     

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    NIKE! Don't worry, Cara was alone in the privacy of her beige bedroom as she celebrated her third pregnancy. #Blessed!

     

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    Adam and Mehrissa's boys were growing up. So far little Bryson was the only one with Mama's colouring.

     

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    Bear grew up too! Good dog.

     

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    Addyson liked to escape the Dunkel homestead now and then to visit her cousins' house, where there were only six people and a dog.

     

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    Happy Birthday, Braydon! Time for a haircut, I think, little buddy.

     

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    Much better!

     

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    Just as Mehrissa put Bryson down for his afternoon nap, she went into labour for the fifth time. This labour was the fastest yet, and they didn't even have a chance to call the midwife! Thankfully that baby just slid right out of her, a mere 10 pounds even, and she was back on her feet making tater tot casserole that very same night! Meet...

     

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    Brody Dunkel! Yep. It's another boy. Sorry Mehrissa - maybe next time! I mean, look on the bright side. There will definitely be a next time.

     

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    Adalyn was soooooo enjoying being a mommy. It was the most precious thing ever! As she watched her little David grow into a toddler, all she could think of was how much he looked like his daddy. Where was Hobart, anyway?

     

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    Out schmoozing, it seems. Look, the man is a DOCTOR, he has to make connections in the community. He can't be expected to sit around at home with his wife and kid all day. How else is he supposed to provide for them? And yes, he's at a disreputable establishment with GAMBLING, but that's where the work luncheon was held. He can't help that, can he?

     

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    Okay, I know this looks bad, but Dr. Amanda [mumbled last name] is European, okay? It would be the height of rudeness not to greet her with a kiss!

     

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    But it seems Hobart tried to do a little more than greet her, if you know what I mean. To her credit, she was having none of it. "Are you crazy, Hobart?" she exclaimed. "I know you're married! We're standing outside your own house, for God's sake! I'm out of here."

    Hobart could only hope that this little 'misunderstanding' wouldn't get spread around town by his colleague...

     

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    Meanwhile, inside the house, Adalyn was about to welcome their second precious blessing! "Hobart! Hobart?! Where are you?!" she called. 

     

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    Oh well. Adalyn was sure he'd be along to welcome his newborn daughter Daisy to the world eventually.

     

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    A few days later, Abigail was surprised to see Hobart out and about downtown, and at the sort of establishment fundies usually steered clear of. "Hobart? What're you doing here?" she asked. "Didn't Adalyn just have a baby?"

     

    snapshot_e6d14e17_e6d7c7d3.jpg.14ddef0c4f4092308daff693e4dcadc6.jpgsnapshot_e6d14e17_06d7c7d8.jpg.eb3d11429261bd6b4b943e2aaedd300b.jpg

    Hobart laughed her off and told her he was there for a 'work event', but she watched in consternation as he sat down to play poker with some strange women, who seemed more than a little interested in how much money a doctor of his calibre made.

     

    snapshot_e6d14e17_46d7c686.jpg.fc38b3f79c365ff7f0bb3e348d11ce13.jpg

    Guess who? While Abigail was out and about and worrying about her brother-in-law, her "ex-boyfriend" Gilbert showed up outside her house AGAIN. Good thing she wasn't there to see him, because there might have been a throw down, and not in a sexy way.

     

    So long for now! Hope you enjoyed today's update. Check back soon for... a Dunkel Double Wedding! And so much more. Maybe a Dunkel restraining order, too (take a hint, Gilbert)!

  23. Okay, so it's not really a poem. But here is a list of everything that sucks right now. No particular order of importance. 

    Things that are OK. 

  • Posts

    • SapphireSlytherin

      Posted

      25 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

      Are they living in a Duggar property? 

      They are not - they are living in the (apparently) church-owned duplex that they moved into when Derick went to "ministry skool" last year.

    • BernRul

      Posted

      4 hours ago, freethemall said:

       

      I also reject the author writing her family's beliefs are not to blame for their practices. The beliefs are the root of their extremism, their patriarchy, their judgement of other "gentiles" not being holy enough, her brother's abuse of her (calling her a whore), their trust in God instead of man (especially with medical matters), and the idea of Mormon men having a priesthood which elevates them to a status that for certain unhealthy personalities can be dangerous. 

      Yeah, same. I understand why she wanted to downplay that, but I can't help feeling that if the family wasn't so religious, than they never would have become so extreme. 

    • Nikedagain?

      Posted

      On 9/20/2018 at 8:43 PM, BernRul said:

      TX is going to eventually become a blue state (or at least a deeply purple state) , and once it does, it will be impossible for Republicans to steal another election. I'm not saying it's going to happen soon, or in time for my baby angel Beto to beat out the Zodiac killer (I do have a feeling Beto will be more successful in 2020 on a broader scale, but who really knows at this point) . It will take years, probably decades, but it will happen in my lifetime for sure.

      BRB, just moving to Texas real quick to vote for Beto. 

      • Love 2
    • Mama Mia

      Posted

      2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

      The Dillards are the only family without any reported income and with a tuition payment due. I think given their propensity/history of supporting debt free living, an explanation for how they financially survive and how they are financing law school is totally warranted. Since Derrick claims they were never paid from TLC and beyond a day or two of substituto teaching, there has been very limited income earned in years...Are they Bonnie and Clyde? IS leave and cleave more than an insider, family joke?

      Student loans? Student loans and a pay-out /settlement from TLC to keep him from suing? - not that he’d have cause, but a $100k to f*off is less of a headache, and pocket change to them. Savings Jill has from years of being on the show / appearances etc.. Maybe he is paid to keep the books for the Duggar enterprises. ? Combo of some/all of the above ? If school is covered through loans - they could get by pretty cheaply. Are they living in a Duggar property? 

    • Rachel333

      Posted

      28 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

      I honestly find it kind of weird that the stuff he says is considered so very shocking or scandalous and all.

      It's not. We're not talking about it because it's shocking or unusual to hold those beliefs. As @formergothardite put it, the only thing surprising here is that he's being public about his beliefs. But I do think that it should be scandalous that he holds racist and misogynist beliefs, no matter how common those beliefs are. And given the more polished image that he and Jinger have projected, I think it's important that people realize how terrible they still are.

      • Love 2


  • Recent Status Updates

    • Gobsmacked

      Gobsmacked  »  Curious

      Curious,
      I'm a complete Dinasaur about these things. How do I check that I have left a valid E-mail/ input mine if I haven't??
      Thanks in advance for help!
      sis Gobsmacked. 
      · 0 replies
    • Sky with diamonds

      Sky with diamonds

      My father underwent brain surgery... apparently it went well. We will know in a week or so what the mass is. Stomach surgery in the near future. Not over yet by any means. 
      Thanks to the people here on FJ who gave support. I thank you all. 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
      · 4 replies
    • Cartmann99

      Cartmann99

      So far, we've only one day above 90F (32C) this month. It's been so nice to have the windows open again.
      · 0 replies
    • mango_fandango

      mango_fandango

      OK can my cold piss off now please
      · 2 replies
    • HerNameIsBuffy

      HerNameIsBuffy

      When I am putting groceries away after shopping I wonder what they would do on Chopped with any five random items.
      Good Humor ice cream bars (chocolate eclair), coconut milk, bok choy, braunschwieger, and sun dried tomato pesto for example.
      Even Scott Conant doesn't deserve to have to eat whatever you could make out of that.

      · 0 replies
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