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BlackberryGirl

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About this blog

I just need someplace to vent about a few things, mostly my health and stress. 

Long story short, I’m 65, in 2002 I developed cardiomyopathy and was very sick. At the time I was told life expectancy was about 3 years.  Well here I still am. Two years ago, on my birthday, I had a health crisis and ended up with a pacemaker. The past month or so, I have just felt shitty.  My long time doctor 25 years, retired. Her partner, who I like , we continue my care, but it isn’t the same. Last few days I have been very anxious (unusual for me) and basically convinced I am dying. I am calling for an appointment tomorrow. I can’t put my finger on it, its just this weird dread feeling.  

Entries in this blog

Reading aloud!

My little guy has decided that being read to is a great idea. He’s almost 4 1/2, autistic and until the past week or so hasnt ever been willing to listen to books. He’s REALLY into Goodnight Moon. I’ve always loved reading to my kids and the grands we raised, and was so happy when he started asking for books. I gotta get some elephant and piggie books.

BlackberryGirl

BlackberryGirl in Reading aloud

Thoroughly pissed

I am getting so fucking sick of the handyman we have “working” on things around the house. He makes Alf and Ralph Monroe on Green Acres look like the Scott Brothers. He has been fixing the attic store room for freaking months. He keeps disappearing, and every possible thing that can go wrong for him personally has. ordinarily, I’d say fuck it and hire someone else, but he’s a family friend...sort of.   added to all that, he owes us $$ he is supposed to pay us off. By finishing 3 jobs, but

BlackberryGirl

BlackberryGirl

Fucking In-Laws

well, MIL died Sunday, not unexpected. She was 90 and all in all had a good healthy long life. bitch that being said, I told BlackberryBoy that we need to write our obits now, to have them on hand so as to prevent the travesty that passes for obits in his family. ONE paragraph. Nothing about her as an individual. Hell even I could come up with 4 or 5 sincere, kind, comments about her. to add insult to injury  they misspelled BlackberryKid1’s name when mentioning predecea

BlackberryGirl

BlackberryGirl

20 years ago today

I hate the holiday season, just hate it. I used to love it, but 20 years ago today the police came to our door to make the worst notification they are tasked with. Our daughter was just 21. We do Christmas, we have had little kids for the past 17 years, so we have to do Christmas, but I just wish I could go to bed Thanksgiving night and wake up mid January. 

BlackberryGirl

BlackberryGirl

Shitty, shitty month

It has been a shitty month.  It started out so nice, with BlackberryKid3’s wedding... but man.. the next weekend BlackberryBoy woke up on Saturday complaining about weirdness in his vision. From his description, I chalked it down to floaters and told him not to worry.  By Tuesday, the day after Veterans Day he was beside himself, so we got him into our ophthalmologist, who took one look and hooked him up with a specialist that day. specialist did an injection and scheduled him for

BlackberryGirl

BlackberryGirl

Night ninjas

Whoa!  Last night was weird as hell. At some point within minutes of me falling asleep, Mark took my hand and kissed it, in his sleep, and I went through the ceiling. I was startled awake and somehow thought a heyena had licked my arm.  Then a couple hours later I surfaced to see a ninja in full black costume jump over the bed and crouch by the window.  Fuck. Obviously I didn't go back to sleep. I had taken tramadol twice yesterday for the migraine and arthritis. I generally average 2

BlackberryGirl

BlackberryGirl

Craptastic week or so

Adding to the stuff I said in the intro, I have had a migraine for almost 72 hours. Aleve didn’t help, I took tramodol, and that sort of helped a little. I can’t take anything with codiene, anaphylaxis...tramodol makes me nauseated and shakey. Since I can’t vomit, i have dry heaves throughout the day.  I don’ get migraines much anymore, since menopause, but when I do ... fml. Also I am generally a positive upbeat person, not these last few days. AND I can’ t sleeep worth shit. 

BlackberryGirl

BlackberryGirl



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    • Kiki03910

      Kiki03910

      https://arstechnica.com/space/2024/03/finally-engineers-have-a-clue-that-could-help-them-save-voyager-1/
      GO SCIENCE.
      · 0 replies
    • Kiki03910

      Kiki03910

      I love baseball but I'm dreading the new season because the White Sox ownership is THE FUCKING WORST. I watched Dominican League Baseball (Lidom!) over the winter and fell in love with their joy, spirit, and exuberance. The broadcasts were in Spanish and my Spanish is pretty weak but I loved catching phrases and repeating them. Bombe! I'm sad about MLB and Commissioner Idiota's busywork rules. But I love baseball, always and forever.
      I guess I don't have a point. Just bitching. Te amo mucho, Lidom!
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    • WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

      WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

      Happy International Women's Day!

      Humanity may have some work to do, to improve gender equality, but I was glad to hear that France has taken an important step to protect healthcare for women (and people of other genders who can get pregnant). 
      (The links are just to a UN page and the AP News.)
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      · 0 replies
    • Giraffe

      Giraffe

      Feeling ragey this morning. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon in the hope of getting help for an ongoing injury. I went to a (different!!) doctor late last year who completely blew me off. He wouldn't do diagnostic testin, he refused to send me to a specialist, and he just told me to "take it easy" and "take ibuprofen." I'm hopeful for today's appointment but I'm also feeling a SEVERE amount of rage at that doctor from last year! 
      · 6 replies
    • BlackberryGirl

      BlackberryGirl

      Well, the rash is back with a vengeance. It never completely cleared up. I saw the derm yesterday and they did another swab and yup, raging infection again, still? It is definitely strep skin infection. I am getting so damn tired and run down from this. Who the f would immagine being hospitalized freaking TWICE for a rash? 
      · 2 replies
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