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  1. this is such a healthy take, that clearly has some therapy behind it. Good for Jill.
    74 points
  2. Hah I love you FJers for caring. Today is my first day back checking the forum! Yes, I was induced and had the baby last Saturday, July 3rd (41 weeks). It was a slow/gentle induction until all of a sudden my water popped and I went from 0 to 100 in less than 2 hours, less than 5 minutes of pushing. By the time I begged for an epidural they were like "uh we can see his head!". Quite a break from pushing my first 8 hrs over the course of a day. Probably more detail than you wanted but oh well. We've been home healthy and safe since Tuesday.
    56 points
  3. It genuinely makes me sick that they just had to throw in that little tidbit about how they ~inspired~ people to accept the ~blessing of children~ through their ~ministry~. Yeah, you fuckers care about children so much that you let one of your sons molest four of your daughters and did jackshit about it. Actually, you did worse than jackshit--you made those girls spend time with him, made them drive to Florida with him so he could pick up his virgin sacrifice bride, made them participate in his wedding, made them have him participate in their weddings, made two of them go on national television and defend him. And then they have the gall to try to spin all of that as some kind of testimony to the joys of children. I also guess that the poor innocent kids being abused in the videos that Josh watched just don't rate as highly to them as the kids they supposedly begot through their show. Fuck them both, and if they never darken tv screens again, it'll be too soon.
    55 points
  4. In the one case, looking at the picturres/films was indeed part of voir dire. At the time, a new case had come down and the judge followed the procedure to a *t*. He, the government and the defense went through all 51 exhibits and he had the government explain why for all of them. He told the government to pare them down, so the next day, the government came in with 25 of 51 exhibits. Then he, the government and the defense went through the pieces of film (I forget how many) and he had the government pare the film down to 2 minutes, 3 seconds and so on for all of the film. He also had therapists around for folks who thought they may need to talk to someone. He included the lawyers in that group. I had to go over to the appellate clerk's office and examine the 25 pieces. If I hadn't known what I was looking at, a few would have looked like candid shots a parent would take of a child (my parents took a picture of me in a diaper in a bucket, for example). Some were bad. Some were worse. The films were worst of all. The judge had decided that the jury would not hear the sounds from the film. I wasn't spared that, which I think made things doubly painful. And I'm an adult. I had my husband come pick me up. When he came in, I just grabbed him and held on for a long time. It was a quiet, thoughtful afternoon in my office. I was quiet when I got home and didn't get much sleep. Unfortunately, there is something called secondary trauma and all criminal defense lawyers deal with it differently. I have a box that crime scene pictures go in, testimony about the things human beings do to other human beings and those pictures go in. I try very hard to keep it there but as with all damage, sometimes it escapes and I spend a sleepless night. And that's so much less than those poor children.
    54 points
  5. I am happy to announce that all of my friends have officially left RF. The one's that I knew before RF and inside!
    48 points
  6. Do we think they're actually engaged yet? I'm going to say no. I think Stephen is waiting for the perfect fall engagement. This is so Jana can wear her in-season mustard cardigan and the pictures can be filled with falling leaves and little pumpkins, and it can all be instagram/pinterest-perfect. Oh, and don't forget the fairy lights. All fundie engagements have the fairy lights.
    48 points
  7. Not quite what you’re looking for, but I don’t miss my D cup breasts following my double mastectomy. I do miss the womanly shape they provided, but I was just so relieved to have them finally removed in March once I finished chemo. No need to bother with bras now! (Now finished treatment, good outcome )
    48 points
  8. When your eldest child - the one you presumably spent the most time with - has molested his sisters, cheated on his wife, and is currently under house arrest on child pornography charges, it might be a good idea to STFU about blessings, sharing, and the power of Jesus. They sound desperate to me...clearly selling but I believe the fad is over for all but the hard-core, leghumping minority.
    48 points
  9. I can’t decide if they are tone deaf, or disconnected from reality, or just arrogant. I vote for arrogant. As @Idlewild said, they have no shame or humility. They are still self rightous, and there is nothing in their statement that actually indicates they recognize the horror and severity of the situation. They are still patting them selves on the back for a job well done. To reference the lives of the unborn they have saved while they are apologists for their son who is charged with possessing porn of violent sexual assault on infants and children is proof that they are unrepentant and believe they are still holier and better than everyone else.
    48 points
  10. Wait? We know that Chelsy isn't vaccinated? And she has a high risk premie with respiratory issues. <shudder> I'm finding this thread difficult, yet I keep checking the Maxwell page hoping for good news. I am thrilled that Madeline is doing well. I have prayed for this little girl I do not know, knowing full well that the Maxwells would judge and condemn much of my faith and life choices (not that I care). Like (some?) here I had a NICU experience that did not have a particularly happy ending. My child was diagnosed with profound disabilities and died 21 years later. I am a person of faith. I would have liked a "miracle" and it didn't happen. Nathan and Melanie would have liked a "miracle". I would be curious to know the theological gymnastics that the Maxwells engage to sustain their faith the face of such a capricious God?
    47 points
  11. Well that’s about par for the course, ignore the real reason and glorify themselves for being the reason people have children. They never show any shame or humility, no recognition of the monster they created and enabled, the pain they have caused their children ( and I think we’ll be hearing a lot more about that in the future) and trying to act that they were passive in seeking fame and money ( the production company contacted us!)- we know JB flipped his lid when they cancelled 19KAC.
    47 points
  12. I'm going to be 38 next week. So I say this as someone "older" and unmarried. It fucking pisses me off when people talk about me in terms of marriage. I know I'm unmarried. I think I've realized that in the past 20 or so years since high school. I'm more than that. I'm not even sure marriage will happen. TBH I'm not even a feminist. I'm kinda moderate. So when birthdays come around and family starts giving speeches and they hope that the next one brings a husband and a baby, all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sob. Not because I'm missing out on those things but because every single other thing I've done in my life doesn't matter. No 2 year olds birthday post should include marriage. It's fuk'd up.
    46 points
  13. I was very happy when my prem baby started looking like a term baby. Actual fat on his arms and legs! Shoulders that didn't look like a skinned ferret! It was pretty amazing, and reassuring that despite the stressful start and the fact that he still had feeding and breathing tubes on his face and two limbs with paddles and IVs he was developing in the right direction. It had fuck all to do with looks being important and a hell of a lot to do with being happy that he was going from being the sickest baby in the NICU to moving towards coming home.
    45 points
  14. In all seriousness, because when you love someone, you avoid doing things that will hurt them even if you know that they will forgive you. God does have guidelines that He gives for His children to live by. He says, "If you love me, keep my commandments." Even though He is "faithful and just to forgive," He also says not to use that freedom-- from the law and the eternal consequences of sin-- as an excuse to sin. In a marriage, does someone only stay faithful to their spouse because they don't want to get divorced? Or is it because they love their spouse so much they can't imagine hurting them like that? Fear of hell is a huge motivator, but so is love. And I'm not just talking about the Duggars who may have other motivations like appearances, parental disapproval, etc. but trying to follow the teachings of the Bible isn't always about fear of hell or punishment, it can be about love and that desire not to grieve God causes us to put His desires above our own desire to sin and have "fun." Sorry, I know that sounds preachy, but if you're trying to understand Christianity or just the Duggars, "not using your freedom as an occasion to sin" is integral. If you just want to snark, snark on. But if you're interested in the theology, here's my 2 cents.
    45 points
  15. I will never no never begin to comprehend how anybody took seriously a leader who wore a bump-it the size of her head and white makeup approaching the style of Queen Elizabeth The First. She had every right to groom herself as she wanted. I just don’t understand having confidence in someone who made those grooming choices.
    45 points
  16. He loves and cares about her, even when she's only two years old. What a hero! I don't love and care about my children until they're at least 5 years old.
    44 points
  17. I think it's maybe exposed the fact that there are a lot of people who are a lot stupider than anyone ever thought possible. I think it does go on your forehead. And I think it comes in the form of a red baseball cap with "MAGA" on it. Yeah this pandemic has brought out my cynical side. I'm to the point of saying "OK, every adult in the US has had their chance to get vaccinated... hopefully the smart people who can't be vaccinated will stay safe and COVID will remove the rest of the morons from the gene pool. And perhaps more importantly, the voter rolls." I'm glad Jill and Derrick not only got vaccinated but are public about it. Seems like they have brains and are actually using them, and growing and learning because of it.
    44 points
  18. If the government wanted to kill people, they'd want to kill the un-vaxxed "free thinkers" who don't do as they're told, not the vaccinated sheeple.
    44 points
  19. I get your point, completely. But it makes me sad. And in some ways, angry. Given I don't know them and their lives don't affect mine, the anger is something that needs to be explored internally, but I feel it none the less. "The girls" - not Sarah, she is not the babysitter - will forever be their brother's babysitters/extra moms. They won't get to have lives of their own because they will always be helping out their brothers & their wives. Anna gets cancer & travels around the country for treatment - "the girls" step in as parents. Nathan & Melanie keep making babies (or, did keep making babies) knowing their miserable fertility record and "the girls" stepped in and took care of the kids & cleaned the house while Melanie was on months of bedrest. Now, John & Chelsy have a premature baby with two toddlers at home and you know "the girls" will be stepping up and taking care of the kids so John & Chelsy can be at the hospital with the baby. I do not begrudge parents needing help or having help close by for tough times. But really - this is brother #3 who lives within walking distance so it's just oh so easy for "the girls" to walk on over & fill the parental gaps. When "the girls" and/or Sarah get a life of their own, I'll be happy that they're close enough family to be able to rely on each other. (Then again, they've said plenty of times that the females Maxwells will probably move away with their headship when they marry so...ah, never mind). As it is now, they are just wasting away living with dad & mom, doing bible study several times a day, and killing time until a brother's wife needs help raising the kids. Family helps family. But family doesn't live entirely to serve their married brothers & sisters-in-laws & nieces & nephews while they wallow with no future of their own.
    43 points
  20. Baby girl was born Saturday at 9pm. She came really fast, in less than an hour. An 8 pound beautiful and super healthy princess! I'm doing okay, had a bit of respiratory issues but doing better right now.
    42 points
  21. I vote for all three. That was sickening. Far better for them to just keep their mouths shut. Paraphrasing Mark Twain, by keeping silent maybe they would have left a little doubt for some about their tone deaf, smug arrogance. All doubt has been removed.
    42 points
  22. I’m seriously wondering what they do with all these photo shoot photos?!! We had a family photo shoot about 5 years ago and I still haven’t gotten around to putting up the pics…guess it doesn’t matter since the kids have changed quite a bit since then. If you were to look at the pictures in my house you’d think I had 2 preschoolers instead of a 19 & 18 year old. I’m terrible with updating pictures 🤣
    42 points
  23. Toby Willis “threatening the lives of the whole family” to keep Brenda quiet is highly unlikely to be the first time he threatened her or said or did something to cause her to live in fear of what he’s capable of. And it is unbelievably common for women in severely abusive relationships to stay with, return to, or continue having children with men who abuse them and their children even in the most sadistic ways. Women go back to men who tried to murder them, who raped them in front of their kids, who locked them/their kids up, who killed the family pet just to show them how much power they have to hurt them. And when they do leave, the period immediately afterwards is the highest risk for them & their children to be murdered. I want to believe I wouldn’t stay with a man who was hurting my child. But what if I had been broken over years into believing it was my fault, he was really sorry and if I just changed X and was better at Y he’d change and be the man I fell in love with, who I still saw glimmers of sometimes? What if I had been isolated and never left alone with family or friends or other people, so the only perspective I was allowed to hear was his? What if I had been gaslit into not trusting my own instincts, fears and thoughts? What if he’d told me and shown me that fighting back made things worse, or that speaking up meant he’d take out his anger on the children? What if I knew he had a gun and he’d told me he didn’t care if he went to jail, he was prepared to track me down and shoot my child in front of me if I left? What if everyone who knew him thought he was kind and loving towards me, but he constantly reminded me of that one time I raised my voice at him in public and how everyone would believe him when he told them that *I* was the abusive one? What if I had no scars because he strangled me, pulled my hair, and hit in the stomach where it wouldn’t bruise? What if I’d heard and read stories of men doing community service or 6 months’ time for domestic abuse, and I knew he’d come after me the moment he got out? Would I still take the risk that the outside world & justice system would keep us safe? I don’t know what Anna’s situation is or whether Josh is as bad as Toby. But I do know that statistically, everyone on this board likely knows a woman who is silently living in fear of her partner, and holding them responsible for not leaving doesn’t do anything to change the behaviour of men or the systems that enable them. I suspect fundamentalism fosters so much abuse not because of submissive wives who don’t stand up to/leave abusive men, but because of the rampant sense of entitlement those men have. They grow up being taught that they are the most godly and right, they’re going to be the head of a household, and anything they do wrong is a woman’s fault.
    41 points
  24. Who needs a kitty picture? Encountered this one on the street the other day 😊
    41 points
  25. The article I read quoted Jessa as saying something like the more babies you have the harder it is to pick a name because you’ve already used your favorites. I guess choices are slim ever since Spurgeon was used.
    41 points
  26. As a 34J, I feel y’all’s pain. I really hate when people comment on me getting a “better” bra because isually I’m wearing heavy duty $80 bras in my correct size. My boobs just don’t sit high and there’s nothing - sans surgery - that I can do about that All the comments about my body as a teen were really damaging for my already poor self image.
    41 points
  27. I suppose this is now the Counting Off thread.
    41 points
  28. Sometimes these threads make me so sad. Hearing the horrible, soul-killing things that are taught, when faith can be such a positive and comforting and inspiring force in people's lives, including my own. I just wish I could go back in time and protect some of you from those toxic environments.
    40 points
  29. Holy smokes, this is such a heartbreaking thing to state on what is essentially your ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT. If I had any doubts as to the quality of Hannah's home life, even before her parents volunteered to babysit that sick fuggar, this pretty much seals the deal.
    40 points
  30. Funny enough, I just had breast surgery two weeks ago, although it was to remove a galactocele (a cyst filled with more breast milk than I was ever able to pump at one time - WTF). Regarding any sort of breast surgery itself, I only have two pieces of advice: (1) make sure the weight of your breast doesn't pull on your skin - I got blisters from the bandages; and (2) maybe put a freeze on your credit cards for a day or two because when I got home I realized it was Prime day and bought a shit ton of stuff while still loopy from the remaining general anesthesia in my system. Thankfully, I had a brief moment of lucidity before I went through with buying the rowing machine (though my concern was "I haven't read any reviews, so I don't think I can choose which machine to buy" rather than "How will I afford this? Where will we put this? Why do I want this? Who is going to use this?").
    40 points
  31. Honestly, when you have big boobs they become basically just another body part akin to a foot or an elbow, and so discussing them feels the same as a bunch of men commiserating over the struggle to find big shoe sizes (think 16+). My boobs aren't sexy, they're behemoths that I'm forced to maintain because they can't do a reduction without taking my milk ducts, which I'm not willing to give up just yet. Having these discussions is arguably incredibly important because many of us felt very, very alone and unsure how to deal with our mondo boobs in our youth, and many women still feel that way now because they're just not common and talking about boobs is such a taboo. The women active in this discussion didn't opt into having big boobs; they just appeared. And so being able to have the discussion and talk about bras that work well and where to find them, again is just people networking and discussing uncommon shoe sizes more or less. None of us are objectifying her or saying anything remotely inappropriate; just commiserating the struggle and affirming that the struggle is real.
    40 points
  32. I really, really, really like that Joy gives 0 f*s about looking fashionable, or having her hair and make-up done. And that Austin seems just at least as smitten ( and probably more ) as if she was always Insta ready. I suspect this at least partly stems from her being forced into the done hair and make-up mold of her big sisters when her parents decided it was time for her to be one of the “older girls” . As soon as she was married it was back to rarely wearing make up, work boots or barefoot, and baseball hats. To me, that’s just as big a statement as publicly wearing pants.
    40 points
  33. Teri’s blog post… I felt like I was reading something that might be narrated a 1950’s sci-fi movie. “Small human (Subject A) exhibited positive emotional manifestations a total of twelve times. Smaller human (Subject b) exhibited positive emotional manifestations only seven times. Our research has led us to the conclusion that this expedition away from home base was not beneficial and, therefore, will not be repeated.”
    39 points
  34. I really hope that Chelsy and her family know that no matter what happens, it is *not* because they didn’t pray hard or long enough. I have pretty bad fibromyalgia/chronic pain. There is a school of thought, embraced by many medical professionals, that you just need to ‘decide’ to not be in pain, take charge of your pain, tell it to eff off, and then you will be able to conquer anything. This is of course total BS. A positive attitude has nothing to do with whether you are in pain or not. Pain just IS, sometimes. Disability just IS. Madeline being born 10 weeks early just happened, it just IS, and if praying makes the Maxwells feel better themselves they should do it of course but I really don’t think it will be prayer that determines her outcome, it will be sheer chance and wonderful science. It does strike me as a bit ironic, though, that probably the majority of nurses who tend Madeline day to day will be women, and many of the doctors, therapists, etc, who help her to grow and thrive will be women also. Yet Steve will still see nothing wrong with having trapped his own daughters at home all their lives, denying them the chance to even dream of a medical career, or any career at all, much less pursue one. Maybe they would of been doctors, but they could have been something. They could have been mothers, at least.
    39 points
  35. Christianity Today has an article regarding how Josh's charges are impacting the homeschool community. It's a good read and discusses how they are trying to become more aware of issues and how insulating children doesn't always protect them. https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2021/july-web-only/josh-duggar-sexual-abuse-charges-trial-family-homeschool.html
    39 points
  36. Although I don't return to my office in September, a co-worker in my group absolutely refuses to get vaccinated. Her rationale: "I don't want Joe Biden tracking me". My response: "You're not important enough for Joe Biden to track". And this attitude isn't confined to the South. I'm in true-blue MA. I realize it's a choice but if you could do something to protect yourself and others from getting sick and dying, wouldn't you do it? On the positive side, an on-the-fence co-worker did get fully vaxxed as well as her anti-vax husband. The only reason they got it was for freedom to travel and freedom from masks in a majority of locations. But hey, whatever gets people in the door is fine by me.
    39 points
  37. I should think about donating mine. I did pull it out at our ten year anniversary and got some cute pics of my daughter in it.
    38 points


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