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Showing content with the highest reputation since 03/01/2020 in all areas

  1. lizzybee

    Seewalds 43: Pants may Have Been Worn Or Not

    My toddler could have had grilled chicken and broccoli at Ocharleys last night and that would have been nutritionally best. But he won’t eat that. I ordered him popcorn shrimp and French fries. He will eat that. Motherhood from start to present has been me surrendering ideals for reality. He needs to eat, what can/will he eat? I would have loved to breast feed, I would have loved a natural birth, I wish I could have taught him to only love vegetables and not be picky, I wish I was a more creative and fun mom that doesn’t need to use the television to function some days. Instead I had pre eclampsia, a csection, a baby in the NICU, breasts that don’t make breast milk, a kid that favors peanut butter and chicken nuggets, and a subscription to Noggin on Amazon prime so he can watch his favorite shows and not always be destroying my house. I love him more than life. I’m not perfect and my plans didn’t stick, but I still have a great relationship with my kids. I’ve given up on perfection and on mom shaming myself for not meeting the ideals of motherhood I concocted in my head. My grandmother that raised me passed away last week. I always said I couldn’t do without her and yet here we are, still pushing forward. The things I remember and gained most from her weren’t the ideals that we erect for perfect motherhood. It was that she loved and accepted me unconditionally, more than any other person has in my life. I can’t remember her even getting in the floor and playing with me once or assembling even one craft for me to do. I do remember her meeting every need I had before I ever thought to need it though. She certainly had to bottle feed me, and I don’t think she ever offered me any kale, but I always had a jacket on my back and something eat when I was hungry. She was the best mother I could have ever asked for and so when I need to give myself some grace for all the things I feel like I’m not doing well enough, I ask myself did she have to do those things for me for me to turn out okay and think she was a good mother. It helps when I’m being unnecessarily hard on myself about all these rules and expectations that society and studies put on moms.
  2. viii

    Seewalds 43: Pants may Have Been Worn Or Not

    I’m really surprised people are in here judging jessa for not pumping or using formula. It’s really nobody’s business how she feeds her baby.
  3. singsingsing

    Seewalds 43: Pants may Have Been Worn Or Not

    Nope, Jessa can have this one. No way am I going to sit here and judge them for this. I’ve never had a baby, but my understanding is that pumping can be time consuming, unpleasant, even painful, and that pumping vs. breastfeeding really comes down to personal choice.
  4. CarrotCake

    "The Unsullied" Unmarried Fundies 7

    I am postponing my wedding which was supposed to be in on May 14th. Here in the Netherlands all weddings until 1st of June are cancelled. But since my dad was admitted in the hospital last night with corona, I really don't care when it will be as long as my dad will be there.
  5. I will never agree with this. He was 16 and his victims were 11, 9, 8, and 5. Everyone is shocked at the 5 year old because it's so shocking, but so are his other prepubescent sisters he sexually abused. If he was 6, 7, 8...maybe curiosity. He was 16 and they were children. That not curiosity, that's a predator. I blame JB and M for so much, including that it continued to happen after they knew, but that it happened at all shows there is some integrally wrong with him. So many guys go through high school, are sheltered, never had a gf until adulthood and don't prey upon children, including a pre-schooler. They fucked him up 9 ways to Sunday, but something else is going on with him to account for his interest in prepubescent girls.
  6. I work with adolescent sexual offenders or adolescent's with illegal sexual behaviors. I actually have a case where the offense is very similar to Josh's (offended against siblings. 5+ age gap with the offender being older) but they are not fundamentalists. The first time it happened the family brushed it under the rug. It happened again. This time the legal system and CPS got involved. The offender was convicted and removed from the home, the family all has to participate in very specific sexual abuse treatment and the offender was sentenced to a term of Probation supervision. The program is intensive and 12+ months long. CPS remains involved during the course. The parents were charged with inadequate guardianship. This is what Josh needed. What he did was predatory but where JB and M come into blame is how the situation was handled afterwords. Josh is to blame for his actions and they are to blame for their inaction.
  7. scoutsadie

    Coronavirus

    My dad died yesterday (Wednesday). Not COVID-related; he's been in hospice since January due to neurological issues. But my stepmom, sister, two of my uncles and I have agreed to postpone a graveside service in addition to a memorial gathering while this pandemic is happening. Most of our family and his friends are middle-aged (my twin and me, and our spouses) or older, and it's just not worth the risk. And we know that he absolutely would not have wanted any of us to risk it. I live in Maryland but drove down here to Florida last Monday, so I had several days helping care for him while he was aware before he declined and was moved to the hospice facility. I'm glad for that, and that his suffering is over. (Among other things, he had lost his ability to speak, which was hard for him as he loved brief little chats with anyone he encountered during his day before his aphasia progressed.) I'm planning to stay for probably another week - to support my stepmom, and to make sure my elderly uncles don't go to the grocery store as they were planning until I begged them to let me do it for them. One has terrible allergies right now and the other has Agent Orange-related disabilities, including cancer; I couldn't believe when he said he was planning to go out, after his VA doc told him not to. And truthfully, while I know my husband wants me to come home sooner thater than later, I'm not ready to be away from my twin yet. I hate the thought of either of us getting sick with the other one so many states away. I've been out of work for awhile and frustrated by that fact, but am grateful at the moment that I have the flexibility, without a job, to be here with my family right now. Anyway, that's my world right now. I am thinking of all of you around the world, and the college and high school kids probably missing graduation, and those of you whose employment or family members are greatly at-risk right now, and those of you who struggle with anxiety and depression at the best og times (like me), and I'm holding you all in my heart. Be safe and kind, as much as you can. 💙
  8. This is a simplification of what happened. She was not driving, but parked in the parking lot. The coffee was so hot that she sustained 3rd degree burns and needed skin grafts. She took responsibility for it not being a good idea to have put the coffee in between her thighs, but keeping coffee at 180-190 degrees is ridiculous and dangerous. Handing a customer a liquid so hot that it could cause such serious burns is negligent. She originally wanted compensation for the medical costs, but McDonalds only offered her $800, hence the lawsuit. Source: https://www.caoc.org/?pg=facts There's nothing wrong with holding large corporations responsible, imo.
  9. CarrotCake

    "The Unsullied" Unmarried Fundies 7

    I just got the news that my dad is stable and eating 🙂 Still on breathing support but this makes me happy.
  10. That's not the point of homeschooling to them. To them it's to remain separate from heathens, and also from other Christians who have different beliefs. It's not about education for them - it's about isolation.
  11. Seculardaisy

    Katie and Travis: Will It Last?

    Mama Jane says what we are all thinking. “Here we go again. Hopefully we will wait to wed.” Get ‘em Mama Jane, you snark queen.
  12. I hate Christmas. Why? Because my parents made it miserable. Made it tough when I had kids. I'd suck it up to make it wonderful for my kids. They knew to wait until we got up to open presents...not to be shitty, we just wanted to see their faces when they opened their gifts. I got to spend last Christmas with my bigger kids (the ones who have kids). They both were SO excited to open gifts. There was no yelling, definitely no corporal punishment of any sort. The more excited they got, the louder it got. I smiled so wide my face hurt! Lori and Ken don't know jack shit about joy, happiness, fun, love. I actually feel sorry for them...what kind of twisted shit is going on in their heads that they seem to easily recall when they "disciplined" their children but can't remember anything funny or joyous. 99% of my memories of my children and husband are memories that make me laugh and smile. Speaking of...please pray, send light, whatever...it seems there may be a problem with my unborn granddaughter. Waiting for the appointment with the MFM doctor. I'm worried out of my skull for all of them, I can't explain how worried they are.
  13. "...visiting the dishes of the fathers on the children, to the third and fourth generation..."
  14. Way back in the FRC days Anna was on twitter condemning gay parents. All long deleted now of course. I’ve never bought the ‘sweet ignorant Anna’. After the scandals broke and she made her choice she could have lived a private life and kept her children out of the limelight. Privacy controls on SM and refusing to be part of the circus- JB has little choice but to support her without a major PR disaster. instead she is running an Instagram and Twitter, posting pictures of her children publicly, appearing on TV and trying to make #littleduggars a thing. Throw in endorsement of Trump and pictures of herself screaming at women not to have abortions. You may gather I have zero sympathy for her. Her children, certainly, but not her. Like a PP said- she married fundie royalty and thinks she’s better than everyone -if the scandal hadn’t been exposed she would be appearing on Josh’s campaign ads sneering at female candidates. Her eldest daughter is approaching puberty- if Anna had any decency she would respect her privacy- but she’ll be paraded out in her matching outfits so Anna can sell a few more make up brushes. Josh is clearly not interested in protecting children, nor is Anna IMO.
  15. The Arndts have now officially reached the point that it's impossible to discuss them with people without sounding like you're just making shit up. There's this family! It's 14 kids, except only one is actually legally a child now! And 13 of the 14 are boys! And they ALL LIVE AT HOME! In bunkbeds! And as a family, they are obsessed with softball, media storage, home improvement, penguins, and white shorts! And they celebrate their birthdays with Tummy Time in their parents' bedroom! Which is conveniently located 25 feet down the hall from where they sleep, because they ALL STILL LIVE AT HOME!!!! And they recently started a chicken-themed jam band! Like... if this were a daytime TV show, I'd assume that the writers were all on acid.
  16. singsingsing

    Dillards 83: WTG JILL - PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!

    I'm watching the Without a Crystal Ball thing right now. I tuned in 16 minutes in so I may have missed some things at the beginning, but here's what she's said/Derick's said so far: -He and Jill could have held hands/hugged longer before engagement but chose not to on their own. -They're putting Israel in public school just because it seems right during this 'season' for them. -He says he wishes Amy could speak to what she wants to, it's strange and sad, Amy is controlled by other people. He and Jill weren't even allowed to be the first ones to announce our own life events (marriage, babies, genders, etc.). Derick would announce things himself if he could do it over again even if he got in trouble. -Family relationships are affected by being involved in the family business. Plugging their blog/social media w/ hints that he'll reveal more things in time. Whatever. -Not true that they don't want to be around any of Jill's family. Like any family, they don't always get along and sometimes have issues with some of Jill's family. Will only address rumours/false stories if they seem to be getting out of hand and need to be addressed. -He and Jill have been seeing a licenced counsellor for the past couple years to help them work through things (I got the impression this is more about the trauma Jill's experienced/the trauma of being on the show/part of the Duggar family, rather than specific issues in their relationship). -Derick apparently is advocating against exploitation of children on Twitter. Mmmmmkay.... -How does Derick plan to raise his children differently? Neither Jill or he are bitter about how they were raised. They'll reject some things, adopt some things, recycle some things about how they were raised. -Oh yeah, this is from earlier, apparently they reject IBLP, Derick thinks it's bad that there are too many rules, they are not affiliated with IBLP. -She didn't ask if they plan to have more children which seems like something kind of important with regards to their current beliefs/practices? -Crystal Ball lady rambles on about her own opinions. Really, there's nothing interesting or new here.
  17. Karma

    Dillards 83: WTG JILL - PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!

    My kids used to sometimes fight terribly at the supermarket. Mostly, my son misbehaved. Even when they were lower primary school age. Quite a few times I gave in, abandoned the trolley and left the shop. Then I decided that I was leaving work for the staff to reshelve the items, “rewarding” the kids by leaving, and then I had to go back and do the shop again at night after DS came home. Enough, I thought. Each time he misbehaved /they argued after that I would start singing “The hills are alive with the sound of music” and keep on pushing that trolley. They were so embarrassed that they’d stop misbehaving. After doing this a couple of times, the mere threat or the first line was enough. I didn’t have many parenting wins, but I’ll take that as a victory. Those if you who know me know that I failed the kindergarten choir audition, so it wasn’t a good sound 😂.


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