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  1. I am very curious to hear how Anna is doing with Cancer recovery/remission. As she went through treatment, I knew nothing, and just followed along blindly. In October, I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and have learned a hell of a lot more about treatments, etc. I'd be interested in revisiting hers just out of curiosity, as well as how she is doing. We aren't fighting the same battle, but we have the same enemy.
    67 points
  2. As a prison officer I get the whole “let them all out in general population” desire but also as a prison officer, I want my shift to end by me and my colleagues going home safely uninjureyed mentally and physically. protective custody does not only result in the inmate remaining safe. the same as people wanting to see inmates “suffer” in prison aka no tv no contact no buy ups. When inmates have nothing to loose or nothing to look forward to they can become very dangerous. Everything in prison is about management of safety. Well at least it should be anyway. but yes I would love just to exile them all to somewhere on their own.
    61 points
  3. Yes. I have done these evaluations, sometimes at the request of the court and sometimes at the request of the defense. Generally I use formal risk assessment instruments. Ideally, one of the instruments will be actuarial (plug in the factors and get a number) and one of the instruments will use structured professional judgement (a list of 20 or so factors known to correlate with offending). It's tricky with CSAM cases because measures are not as developed as they are for hands-on offending. The reason being, there needs to be more research and CSAM in its present form is relatively "new." (Or, rather, ease of access to it is new.) To do a formal risk assessment, I gather background information for all the legal documents including law enforcement reports, probation reports, testimony, etc. I generally do NOT contact known victims of hands-on offending and, in general, I would be prohibited from contacting the victims if hired by the defense. But I would have their statements. I also look at medical, educational, and job records---if available. Sometimes I interview family members of the defendant--say the spouse--if there are minor children in the home. Interviewing the defendant can be time consuming because it's their entire sexual history--not just behaviors, but when did they learn about sex, attitudes, thoughts, exposure, concealment, etc. All that information is then used for the risk assessment measures. Typically we categorize as high, medium, or low risk. It's not really a risk of reoffending in the sense that I have a crystal ball. Rather, it gives an indication of need for containment and what might help rehabilitation. For example, some CSAM offenders have high anxiety and the CSAM is about reducing their anxiety (among other things). It's logical in those scenarios to treat the anxiety. As far as defendants not being truthful. Yeah, that's the norm. The information I am after is sensitive and embarrassing and all the things. I spend an outrageous amount of time building rapport and hanging on their every world like they are the most interesting person in the world. (Note: They are not. But the job, overall, is very interesting to me provided sex offender evaluations are only one part of it.) Many of these guys are very lonely after weeks or months of incarceration and some of them do open up. I have occasionally heard confessions for other crimes. It's not uncommon that I have to make a call to CPS after, depending on what I am told and suspect. All that goes into a report to be used at sentencing. Generally, the prisons will also do their own evaluation to figure out which, if any, treatment programs the prisoner might qualify for. I give only generic recommendations while the prison psychologists will be very specific.
    60 points
  4. I am a woman and the transference the offenders have towards me is interesting. The highly religious ones are usually very sexist and will act superior. But, I am middle aged and non-threatening and nurturing and well versed in fundy world and know the lingo (without them having to translate) and have lots of training in how to build rapport. By definition, most are very very lonely by the time I see them (esp with covid isolation and ongoing lockdowns) and they are happy to have a break in their routine and, of course, I am very very interested in their story and, well, most want to be understood in whatever way that looks like to them. So yeah. They talk. Some more than others, of course. But it astonishing to me how much many will disclose. It takes sitting in a cramped and often smelly and gross interview room for hours on end. And moving slowly. And gently reaffirming their emotional experiences over and over again. And talking about weird sex with the same comfort level and tone of voice that I would use to request a side order of fries. It's the least glamorous job ever. But, as I said before, it is interesting. Almost without exception, the CSAM offenders are not good with emotional intimacy and they eat it up when they figure out that someone is willing to listen to the full story in a nonjudgmental way. Generally they have spent a lot of time and energy concealing their life and that has its own level of exhaustion. I don't think I have had a rude or intimidating CSAM offender. Especially if I am hired by their attorney, the attorney will have prepped them to cooperate---otherwise, why spend the money? Even when hired by the court, they are still prepped by the isolation and loneliness. The challenging ones are the sex offenders who are actively psychotic at time of interview (hallucinating or delusional) and/or have histories of unpredictable violence. Those guys can be a bit hairy. In those situations, I may request a non-contact visit (through a glass partition) or the custody staff might leave them partially cuffed with belly chains and leg irons. I don't like to leave people in chains because of the indignity of it, but it's also important for the quality of the interview that I be very relaxed and centered and that's impossible if I feel immediately threatened. ETA If someone is completely uncooperative, generally I will visit cellside to lay eyes on them and see what their cell looks like (sparse, dirty, garbage, etc). I talk to custody staff, medical, etc. to get a feel for what's going on. Then, I base the report primarily on collateral information.
    59 points
  5. Loving the discussion on ASL! Very interesting. Personal experience with a little deaf boy if you are interested: I did a work experience thing in school (Grade 11 in Germany) in a daycare for 1 - 3 year olds. On my first day I was asked to play with a two year old boy who couldn't hear. I was very nervous at first as me not being able to see (legally blind) and him not being able to hear seemed like a bad combination. It worked out brilliantly though!!! That litttle boy figured out within minutes that I couldn't see well and so him pointing to things he wanted wouldn*t work. So he just led me by the hand to the shelf, tugged on my trousers to be picked up and took the book from the shelf himsef and then held the book up really close to my face so I could see it. In the 4 weeks I was there we developed our own unique form of communication and I took over most of his care. It was amazing and I have very fond memories of that time.
    59 points
  6. I had a Jana moment today - driving along quite a busy road and saw a toddler running along the footpath, by himself. I pulled over, took a minute or two to cross the road as there was a fair bit of traffic. By now the kid had crossed the side street. I ran towards him but he crossed back over the side street, with me in pursuit. Very lucky no cars turned into the street. I grabbed his hand and looked around, still no one around. Kid was wearing just a nappy and tshirt. I asked him where his house was but he was maybe 18 months old so didn’t answer. I waited a few minutes then called the police - I didn’t want to leave the spot I’d found him in case someone came looking for him. By the time dad appeared from along the side street looking for him it’d been about 10 minutes, and the police arrived a minute or so later. Dad had been mowing the grass and the kid had got out the screen door. I felt bad then for calling the police, but didn’t know what else to do. Main thing is he was safe. The dad was grateful and, having had a runner myself, I hope he doesn’t get into trouble.
    58 points
  7. I agree with everyone who said it must be something very big for UP to drop them like this and cut their losses. I also think it's an unknown scandal we're going to learn about soon, as in while the season would have been airing. There may very well be horrible accusations in the new documentary, but since that's not coming out soon I don't think it's that relevant now. UP is first and foremost a business, and they could have either chosen not to renew for a 12th season or credibly canceled the 12th/whichever season after the documentary came out. For them to take a huge financial hit like this, not making the money they've been counting on for the work they've already done, it must be something really big and about to break. My guess is criminal charges. I'm sick in bed today waiting for PCR results, and cackling with Bates schadenfreude between coughs is cheering me up for sure! Thanks for being there for me, FJ! 💙
    54 points
  8. Tangent alert: I work for grocery pickup at a medium-sized store. At the beginning of the pandemic we were so overwhelmed with orders we doubled our daily order capacity and hired many people to help in our department. Also, quite a few people working in other parts of the store were cross-trained to help. We had several people taking orders out to cars at any one time, and sometimes, often, they were still overwhelmed, and dealing with people angry it took ten minutes or more to have their groceries loaded into their cars. Also angry because we had to drop our fill rate metric from 97% to 85%. This past Spring when it looked like people would be vaccinated, customers again crowded the stores. Unvaccinated were asked to continue wearing masks, but...often one rebellious act accompanies another. Our pickup orders dropped, we were back at 93% or more efficiency, and staff was cut or moved. In the case of our specific store, new management led to many people leaving to get other jobs. By summer, I was doing the work that formerly took three people. So even though there were fewer orders, there were still more than we used to have, and I wore myself out for months trying to handle more than pretty much anyone could. This happened at other stores, as well. For awhile in the summer heat, I did not wear my mask outside, but still tried to limit contact with the customers, often just talking to them through their hatches. Some people put signs in their windows to have no contact at all, which can be tricky to handle, but we worked it out. We can't get and keep staff in our department now; it's a much harder job than it used to be, and we are shorthanded every single day, because the corporate people in charge of deciding how much we can handle make management jump through hoops every day to have orders shut off when we reach some number well beyond the day's forecast, to which hours were scheduled. Nearly every day we call many people to ask them to come two or three hours after the time they expected to pick up. There aren't enough people in the store to keep the shelves stocked completely, trucks delivering goods are often late because they are short drivers, or short of workers in distribution centers that load the trucks, or short of workers at the companies that produce the supplies to make the goods that are distributed. And at the end of it I get to be yelled at because we are still out of the almond milk creamer someone prefers. Last night I stayed an extra hour, after going in an hour early, so that the morning people would have a clean organized space to work in, but in order to do that I had to stack 18 totes full of items that were shopped for as people cancelled their orders because their pickup time had been changed. No one has the time to put it all away. If I explained it all in detail it would take pages and pages here. But every time someone has to stay home with Covid, there is a gap that has to be filled by whoever is left standing. Some of you may carry on arguing about what society ought to be doing for each other. In my reality, it is below freezing here, yet I will happily help the old people and families get what they need to the best of my ability because they are frightened to come inside, not understanding why this was made so much harder than it needed to be. But I'm worn out from doing it. And I assume 100% of the time I've been exposed to the virus, because I probably have been. So I sit here at home between shifts and watch birds and go nowhere else except on rare occasions. My feet are too tired, anyway.
    54 points
  9. I realize this is the Daily Mail, but it has the best typo in it! https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10365133/Jim-Bob-Michelle-Duggar-throw-huge-New-Years-party-Joshs-child-porn-conviction.html "Among those who appeared to be in attendance were Jason, Johanna, Jennifer, Jordyn, and Jessa's wife Ben Seewald." I can't stop laughing!
    54 points
  10. I agree that any suffering Derick has himself as an individual personally experienced at the hands of JB can't compare to what Jill personally experienced, but I also don't think you are fairly accounting for the impact that what was done to her has had on him by virtue of the fact that he is married to her. Everything she experienced he has been responsible for getting her help with and helping her see clearly. Whatever one may think of him as a person, he was in the position of needing to help her escape from a cult, and if you think what happened to her does not impact or weigh heavy on him as her spouse i have to believe you are very mistaken. I also think some people, rightly repulsed by a lot of Derick's views and actions, do underestimate what happened to him in his own experiences with JB. Make no mistake, Derick was sucked into and also had to escape from the cult himself. Fortunately for him, his background and connections to the outside world, as well as his privilege within the cult as a man, made this much easier for him than many others. But this begs the question of how an educated person from a relatively normal family entered a cult they had to escape from to begin with. A lot of people are sour on Derick and like to say he was college educated and should have known better. But in reality he was a young adult, isolated in Nepal far from family and friends (granted of his own choice), whose father had recently died, whose mother was deathly ill. If anyone doesn't think JB took advantage of Derick's youth and desperation at a vulnerable time in his life, and of the fact that Derick was naive enough to genuinely believe JB was a good and God fearing person who cared about him, I really can't help you. In my book Derick has plenty of reason to be upset. It's not a competition of whether he or Jill had it worse and most definitely he has suffered and will continue to suffer from what JB did to both him and to Jill. None of this excuses Derick's own views and actions, some of which remain incredibly problematic. But I think to be fair to him about what JB has done to him is both right and necessary in examining how the cult works and how he and Jill have managed to escape it.
    50 points
  11. It has to be something awful for them to lose this much money. They had Nathan’s over the top wedding, Lawson’s over the top engagement and Katie’s wedding. They’ve already shelled out money for all of that and fans would tune in to watch those things, so to view the already filmed season as unusable means that UP learned about some really, really bad stuff. Hopefully the truth will come out soon.
    48 points
  12. I think that would be true for most people- but JB & M don’t know when to sit down and shut the fuck up. Their reaction to Josh being charged was to post a statement congratulating themselves on what awesome people they are; JB actually thought he would get elected to state senate while his son was standing trial for the most heinous crimes & JB lied on the witness stand. If people don’t continue to call them out for what they are, you can bet they’ll pop up again, worming their way on to the speaking circuit, pushing forward whichever useful idiot offspring decides to take forward the Duggar brand. Derick needs to continue to be a thorn in their side.
    48 points
  13. So, let's say he gets 10 years. He and Anna will be 43, right? Jim Bob will be 66. Madyson will be 10. All his siblings, even Josie, will be adults, as will his oldest kids. He'll have missed several family weddings, and have quite a few nieces and nephews he's never met. If he gets 20? He and Anna will be 53. Jim Bob will be 76. Madyson will be 20. All the nieces and nephews he's actually met will be adults, as will all his own kids. He'll have missed most or all of his OWN kids weddings, along with a large number of family weddings. Winter will no longer exist, parts of the planet will be either flooded or becoming desert hellscapes... Ok, maybe not that last bit. He might need to get 30+ years for that. But yeah I think the more time he gets, the better. Even 12 years would be better than 8. Eight years and Madyson's still a child. 12 years and she's a pre-teen. If I was the judge, I'd look at Madyson's age at the time he's likely to be released, and make sure she's older than any of the children in the CSA materials he was caught with. That seems to be both sensible and safer, to me.
    47 points
  14. According to JB no. But, she's helped made her parents a lot of money through the shows. She's done so much childcare and chores for them (and still likely does), that she's essentially done the role of full time stay at home parent since she was under 10. If we recognise stay at home parents as contributing to the household (and having access to money earned by the household) we should recognise Jana. She's also known to be one of the biggest curators on the Duggar family accounts, and thus influential in marketing the family. I would argue that Jana does work, just not paid. Without Jana, the Duggars wouldn't have been as successful as they are now and she's almost certainly earned them hundreds of thousands more dollars than she's cost them with the legal troubles.
    45 points
  15. Just want to point out the following: Many people here criticized Jana’s post after her child neglect charges were public, claiming that Jana deserved scrutiny because she put herself in the public eye. However, we are now carefully scrutinizing Lauren’s body and potential pregnancy/childbirth, despite the fact that she has removed herself from the public eye as much as she possibly could. Just something to think about…
    45 points
  16. Covid has hit our household too. So far just Hubby and me. Somehow it doesn't seem like the 5 yr old has it. She just turned 5 at Christmas so isn't vaxxed yet so we were worried. We've mainly just had sore throats and earaches nothing too bad. But a work friend of ours just died and another is on a ventilator. Both unvaxxed.
    45 points
  17. They already filmed two weddings and a proposal in Italy for this season. They were filming up to 2 weeks ago with talking heads. Commercials for the premier are running tonight. You don't yank like this if it's due to a market shift.
    44 points
  18. I was born hard of hearing and raised with speech/hearing aids and sign language. There is soooooo much ignorance about ASL (American Sign Language) being a direct signing of English when its nothing close. Its actually based on LSF (French Sign Language) and is completely unintelligible with BSL (British Sign Language) and BSL related Auslan (Australian and NZ Sign Language). Just that alone blows most people's minds as they assume we have or should have a universal sign language. Same reason there's no universal spoken language :straining fake smile: For some reason there's a lot of cross over of tiss mentality with conservative Christians who all claim to know ASL and completely butcher basics but insist they can translate for church services. Like us DHH are to be pitied and need to be ministered to. Its annoying but also really dangerous. The most recent of countless examples was the woman who claimed to be an interpreter based on "extensive" church experience was allowed by the governor and his team to interpret for the emergency broadcast announcements in Texas during the big ice storm and she completely butchered everything and only the DHH community were outraged everyone else said BS like "some is better than nothing" and "her heart is in the right place she tried". She eventually got replaced but it shouldn't have happened at all. Ever. That it did and the way most of the hearing population responded both that the Deaf community was overreacting and in the way they justified what the woman did, are both so disgustingly offensive I can't even. DHH could have and who knows its likely some even were killed, injured or were impacted in some other major and negative way by being unable to understand the emergency announcements. Many older DHH but also some younger DHH people don't know English at all or well enough to benefit from closed captions so to assume they can rely on that instead is wrong too. Even for DHh people who know English the level varies widely. What makes it especially hard is that ASL is so so difficult to translate fully into English and vice versa because of how spacial and visual it is, with various facial expressions conveying different grammatical components and certain handshapes called classifiers that are used in place of different signs to convey essentially a visual picture. Its truly a beautiful poetic language but its completely lost when it has to be translated into English. ASL to English suffers the most and that only fuels the belief that DHH are in some way cognitively impaired compared to hearing people. Even in my college courses, my two interpreters sign the same English words and concepts differently because there's no direct translation for most high level English words in ASL. Because ASL uses visual and emotional displays at all levels but especially to express high level and complicated concepts instead of more complicated words that are all synonyms. It makes a lot of my classes doubly hard because I have to learn both new English terminology but also have to learn new ASL terminology or be able to understand various ASL concepts that could be used to try to convey these new English terms the best Honestly I think the trend for baby sign language has made this misconception worse, people thinking its pretty much low level ASL and that it shows all ASL is so easy and basic babies can learn it. They then interpret many DHH peoples poor English skills as signs of stupidity rather than them being native ASL users who are using a second language. The older adults especially but even some younger people sadly have been further stunted by not being exposed to full ASL by age 7 which if they can't hear enough to be exposed to some English they miss the opportunity for language development that hearing ELA individuals don't face, but both groups are stunted when they're expected to not progress in their Native language and only use English. But that's a whole different subject entirely. Americans by and large have the hardest time understanding how there's really no such thing as a direct perfect translation between any two languages, since unless they're former ELA students or heritage speakers or the small number who continue past horrible high school language courses into college level and/or study or live abroad long enough to be fluent in a second language. Not saying other countries don't have people with the same issue just that most countries either have multiple official languages, intensive second language studies throughout every level of schooling starting in Kindergarten/elementary age or much higher rates of international travel among their populations. If they can't do that for other spoken languages I guess its a pipe dream for people understanding that ASL is no different and a complete and full and natural language of its own with very little to no correlation with English both in its syntax as well as its grammar. So I guess its a lifetime of viral cochlear implant first time hearing videos, crappy interpreters at doctors and other important appointments and meetings, people thinking that they're helping us poor Deafies by using any and all of the crappiest level of ASL "skills" to "interpret" song lyrics which they think will make us break down thanking them for being so amazing and that we'll be so grateful we can finally understand the beauty of music that our poor disability took from us and lots of fundies and fundie light types thinking that converting us poor Deaf and hearing impaired people gives them extra Godly points because we're simple minded and disabled and God put us on earth to remind "normal" people to be grateful. Hooray? Sending love and solidarity to all my bilingual FJers like @feministxtian ♡
    44 points
  19. I’ve no idea if Lauren is pregnant or not, but if she and Josiah have decided they and their child(ren) no longer want to be props in the JB/Michelle/Jana Duggar relaunch farce, then good for them. Lauren may have seemed happy to join the Duggar circus, but discovering that it meant she had to keep quite about her miscarriage until they needed publicity trailers for a new season of the show and then going through a pregnancy having to take part in ridiculous stunts to flog the dead horse that was Counting On and share what looked like a brutal labour and delivery could make her grow up very quickly, especially when they weren’t even being paid properly.
    43 points
  20. So, I was sent to the hospital by my PCP after I called in about chest tightness and difficulty breathing. I'd already been diagnosed with COVID at that point, and the cough was bad but what made it worse was just a feeling like I wasn't able to breathe in at all after a coughing fit. I previously (years ago) had pneumonia and I'd liken it to that. I was on the fence about whether it was bad enough to go to the ER (I think we are all well aware that the respiratory stuff comes with COVID) but wanted to check with an expert. The doctor was concerned about it enough to send me in to be evaluated for a heart attack and to have an x ray to my lungs, I was treated and released, not hospitalized for any length of time. Sadly, there wasn't much they could do for me, and since my tests were all clear they decided against hospitalizing me even for observation (for which I am grateful, I was so afraid I would get someone sick or catch something else while I was there!) I unfortunately happened to catch the flu a little over a week before I caught COVID, the doctor said it was possible I was already weak from having the flu and that is why I reacted so badly to catching COVID (which I caught at the pharmacy... where I was because I had the flu... vicious cycle). I was sick (with COVID) for two weeks, and I still have a pretty bad cough and major exhaustion. Overall, I'd still consider my case fairly mild, in a certain way. I'm slowly regaining my sense of taste and smell, which can apparently take some people months, and most of my symptoms went away on their own. I didn't progress into pneumonia and it didn't trigger any issues with my autoimmune disorder as far as we can tell right now. I didn't need a ventilator or any medical intervention other than a precautionary check when I went to the ER. I'm grateful that it wasn't much worse.
    43 points
  21. They got married, went away on a honeymoon, came back to TN and spent a few days, drove "home", busy unpacking and getting ready for Christmas and now her sisters are there because she is so homesick. How has she had time to be homesick. Katie was not ready to get married and move away.
    43 points
  22. They've pulled a show that's already been filmed. That's a big f'ing deal. They wouldn't pull it just because. My guess is some nasty skeletons are coming out soon.
    42 points
  23. Adding to this... The pandemic has exponentially worsened jail conditions. IAQ (indoor are quality) in these facilities is poor. Any vents are considered potential escape routes or hiding places for contraband, and thus the buildings are built with relaxed HVAC standards compared to typical building codes. Airborne illness such as TB and covid are almost impossible to control. With significant percentage of our local deputies believers in various conspiracy theories, there really has been no serious attempt to even control it. The facilities are petri dishes. Moral and discipline among the deputies is the worst that I have ever seen. Same with medical staff. They have the same burnout and staffing issues as everywhere else and whatever political issues that are in wider society are amplified in the jail setting. I don't trust any of the medical files I read any more because staff is doing little more than checking boxes unless it's a serious emergency. I will see notes such as "no symptoms of psychosis noted" with inmates who are near catatonic or exhibiting significant delusions. I have serious rage towards the Duggar family and have zero issue with people posting "I hope he rots in jail" kind of statements. I get it. These people are dangerous hypocrites and they have inflicted an excess of damage on the world. But those are simply statements that I cannot make. Jail is a level of hell right now that is hard to communicate to those who are not in it.
    42 points
  24. Yeah, the current system doesnt work. Take non violent people who have done things like stolen or taken drugs, lock them up in an insititution where you have to be in constant survival mode, with gang members and murderers for company, then then theyre let out, they have no job prospects as nobody wants to hire someone who has been to jail and have been locked away for years and are used to prison...and then wonder why they turn back to crime. All its doing is making repeat offenders. Instead we should be focussing on solving the problems that lead to people going to jail in the first place. Do something about CEOs who are millionaires but their employees arent paid a living wage. Invest in schools and activities for kids, as kids who feel they belong somewhere, have a future and are not bored are less likely to vandalise property or join a gang (and also make sure their parents are paid a living wage so they can spend time with their kids instead of working three jobs all day to put food on the table). Treat drug addiction as a health issue rather than a crime. Make healthcare affordable and accessible.. Help the homeless instead of using hostile architecture to keep them out of sight. Teach consent and proper sex ed, fight for gender equality, get rid of rape culture. Sort out issues like racism, homophobia, sexism etc. If people are happier and more equal, then there will be less crime. There will always be crime though, and Im not saying abolish prisons entirely. as there are genuinely dangerous people who need to be off the streets, but it should be kept to violent offenders who are a danger to society, like murderers, rapists, pedophiles etc. The prison system should also focus on trying to rehabilitiate these people and reduce their risk to society.
    42 points
  25. I also baptized the dog when I was a kid. JUST in case.... I was raised Catholic (and the serious version that keeps a crucifix in the house that also has holy water in the back of it in case you need to do last rights in a pinch) but we aren't raising my son Catholic really. He goes to a Catholic school (because I can see it from my house - and in Ontario - Catholic schools are publicly funded - don't ask me to explain that - I don't get it either). Anywho - watching HIM (aged 5) explain the Easter story is pretty funny. "Jesus was out to dinner with his friends? And one of them called the police on him? And they beat him up and put him on the cross and he died. Like this (holds out arms, cocks head to the side, eyes closed, tongue out) and then three days later he came back to life...... Like a zombie." I filmed it and then said "Okay - but that's NOT the story you should tell Grandma..."
    42 points
  26. What you grow up with is your normal. My Catholic church had a life size, very ... specific crucifix hanging at the front of the altar and graphic stations of the cross all the way around the church. Because I went to that church since birth, I didn't register that as macabre or frightening until I brought my Jewish fiance in, and he was like, "you want to get married under that thing?!" My youngest brother used to play church when he was a toddler. Everyone in our house just thought it was cute to hear a little kid saying "eat my body" while offering his teddy bear a Cheez-it. Someone outside our church would have probably had a different reaction.
    42 points
  27. I just have to point out that this is total bullshit. They saw their friends the Duggars making money off of exploiting their huge family on tv and decided they need to get in on that too. BUB isn’t their first rodeo. They were on the Duggars’ show all the time and of course they had “United Bates of America.” They absolutely set out to have a show.
    40 points
  28. I'm not usually a fan of all or nothing thinking, but in this case, it applies. I have a good friend who is a doctor in the ER. Every single day, every single hour he works, the vax'd must be denied beds because the unvaxinated have filled the hospital. My friend spends hours -- hours!-- of his shift calling around to find beds for cancer patients, the elderly, heart patients because the unvaxed are using up the resources. It IS a black and white situation, and if you spend any time in the ER you will see what I mean. If you haven't spent time in an ER, you are just someone who doesn't want to face ugly truths. The doctors and nurses I know aren't just tired, they are furious. The unvaxd are using most of the resources, and it was all preventable. Most of these medical people are generally good, kind people, but their empathy for the unvax'd is near zero. They have compassion fatigue. They've literally watched vaccinated people die -- yes, die--because of the lack of staff, oxygen, and beds. This is an ugly truth, and the fact that the ugliness bothers you is irrelevant, really. It's still true. Spend some time in your local ER and watch someone with lung disease struggle for breath because there is no available oxygen for him (the unvaxed are using it). Watch a cancer patient moan in pain because he cannot be admitted and must spend hours in an ER hallway. THEN your opinion will have some merit. The unvaccinated ARE using up resources, and it is because of their obstinacy that people are dying and this pandemic is dragging on.
    40 points
  29. This is totally appropriate clothing, don’t you know? Because of course you have to view this clothing in the cultural and historical context of that time and age. Just like the rest of the bible. Oh… wait…
    40 points
  30. I hate to be rude, especially to a Canadian, but this may just be one of the most ridiculous, leg-humpy things I have ever read in all my years on FJ. The day Carlin Bates is the arbiter of good taste is the day that JRod wins an Oscar for best make-up design and Jim Bob's BBQ tuna is featured on the cover of Bon Appétit.
    40 points
  31. That made me sad. Can we dream that he misses Mack's graduation from college and the birth of her new career instead? I hate these girls are so singularly tracked with no options.
    40 points
  32. Without any hint in that direction, this is a very harsh accusation. Mind you, I dislike the Bateses for their racism, sexism, and involvement with the IBLP cult, so I don’t usually defend them in any way. But to essentially accuse Nathan of pedophilia is a bit much. Can we speculate that the unhealthy teachings on sexuality and the sheltered and homeschooled upbringing of the Bates children might lead to trauma, an unhealthy view of sex, etc? Absolutely, that’s based on facts. But to single out individuals seems like a step too far IMO. These people have so many faults that they absolutely deserve to be scrutinized for, why not stick with that? The only reason for the speculation about Nathan is that Josh Duggar, someone from another family, committed horrendous crimes against children, but that doesn’t mean we should accuse any young men we discuss here.
    39 points
  33. Anyone else been reading this as "trying to conceive" or just me?
    39 points
  34. Speaking on the whole Leaders going up on stage thing, the explanation I got during my RF days was that it was a show of unity behind whatever Gwen spoke about. Leadership was always careful to put up a united front and show that they were all under Gwen and agreeing with what she said. As you all probably remember, during Gwen's whole announcement of remarriage, she made a big show of having all the leaders around her, telling the congregation that they were fully in support of her decision. Also, I don't know if this has ever been discussed, but shortly before Gwen married Joe and right after the announcement, there was a big women's-only gathering in the Fellowship Hall. All the RF women in Nashville over a certain age were invited to a closed meeting where Gwen basically spent a couple hours talking about how monstrous and abusive David Shamblin was and that she basically felt that she had been tricked into marrying him as a young woman and he was a horrible insulting brute to her. If memory serves, I don't think she ever insinuated anything physically abusive happened, but she did allege a lot emotional abuse. I remember this meeting vividly because Gwen was basically going through her life story and all the problems in her marriage with a huge room full of women. Weirdly, I think it kind of trauma bonded a lot of women to her because a lot of her marriage issues were huge unspoken things with a lot of Christian women and she was just going through this heart-wrenching narrative of insults and indignities that David put her through. Like, at that time I was already kind of being disillusioned by RF, but even I was really struck by her rawness in that moment and I felt for her. Now I don't know if any of that was true about David, but she was constantly complaining about him to the Beulah women in their closed meetings in the decade previously. (Beulah women were ladies whose husbands were not RF members and they were said to carry a greater cross than ordinary members because of their persecution). Before her divorce, Gwen used her (allegedly) emotionally abusive marriage as a cudgel to keep other women (who often were in legit abusive relationships) in their marriages. She'd always tell them that she had it way worse than anyone else, that her husband was an awful, unsupportive monster, but that she stayed with him because God hates divorce and if God didn't allow her to get divorced, then no one else should. Everyone always put Gwen's personal pain on a pedestal. "She suffered and stayed with her situation and gave it to God, so you should too because your pain is nothing compared to Gwen's daily abuse." I think a lot of groundwork had been built for the divorce when it happened. I think she used that huge public meeting with only the RF women to basically turn their sympathy to her and make them into her footsoldiers in the RF families. The RF women have always been the real engine in the church. For all the lip-service to male dominance, they are the real true believers for the most part. Her soul-wrenching several-hour account of her life to a room full of women who already idolized her was enough vulnerability to make each woman feel like she was their personal friend in an abusive relationship who was escaping into a better life, and it was each woman's duty to defend and celebrate her. Most of RF was frothing at the mouth with happiness and excitement for Gwen's remarriage. It was seen as this huge triumph, a deliverance from slavery into the promised land. And Leadership's visible full support made it seem even more heaven-sent. I think that's one event that was experienced drastically different inside versus outside. On the outside it was a pitiable farce, this mawkish comedy of a barbie clown and an aging Hollywood z-lister with all its bizarre pageantry. On the inside it was a victorious liberation, Gwen achieving the freedom and happiness for herself that she had given so many others. She got to be the one wearing the white wedding dress and marrying Prince Charming. She got to have her happy ending with the handsome talented man, leaving her old life behind. It's everything Gwen ever wanted from God, who she always called a "Husband-Defender" and "The Bridegroom Saving the Day." So many RF people (especially RF women) were literally living vicariously through her. That's part of the whole experience for many living inside the cult. You identify so strongly with Gwen that she becomes like you. It's also why Gwen's horrible death was so psychicly devastating and why to this day, most of the congregation refuses to leave. They saw Gwen as their dear leader but she was also their best friend. It's a deep emotional attachment that's hard to undue for many who joined her and saw their lives radically change.
    39 points
  35. This is the second time someone has commented on a Duggar looking like they have a genetic condition based on looks in the past couple of days. I think it can be dangerous to try and diagnose people on the internet based on looks. The Duggars have eyes that remind me of eyes that run in my family so maybe that’s what I find rather bothersome. All families have distinctive features. People just need to trust actual pediatricians to pick up on any genetic abnormalities and not bother making guesses based on looks. Confession: There was a fundie who had a baby and I thought the baby looked like he had Down syndrome based on facial features. I didn’t say a word. I kept my suspicion completely to myself. Eventually she announced that her baby had Down syndrome when he was about a month old. I think it’s human nature to have suspicions like that. But it’s best to keep it to yourself.
    39 points
  36. Not only Esther & Nathan's wedding, but, Katey's wedding & the events leading up to it, Lawson & Tiffs engagement. Something definitely happened for them to not air, especially with that much time and $$$ already spent filming, editing, etc.
    38 points
  37. Man, Buffy was just asking a question, no need to call her names. 😜
    38 points
  38. Why did no one have hissy fits over everyone having to have a TDaP booster before visiting newborns during the pertussis wave going through a few years back? It was OK to cut off contact with even grandparents who wouldn't get a booster, but was that because they were newborns? Now it's fine to play kill off grandma or tell my mother she's imprisoned in memory care with no visitors? I'm supposed to sit in my house for years because people want to exercise their rights to not get vaccinated or wear a decent mask and go around spreading a potentially deadly virus? It's a minority of people forcing these problems on the rest of us and my patience is gone. This isn't a religious issue. It isn't a fundie issue. It's a public health crisis and one that is swamping our hospitals and could potentially affect any one of us at any minute should we need emergency or hsopital care. To visit my mother I have to have three doses of Moderna or Pfizer or one of Johnson & Johnson plus a Moderna or Pfizer and provide proof of it plus take an at home test within 24 hours or a PCR test within 48 hours (good luck obtaining that one). Also wear an N 95 mask while I go in and maintain a 6 foot distance from all employees and other residents. That I've been doing since Omicron began anyway. I'm glad they are making sure that the "mah rights" club can't enter to visit or work there. It's about keeping people alive and well. This isn't a religious issue. It isn't a fundie issue. It's a public health crisis and one that is swamping our hospitals and could potentially affect any one of us at any minute should we need emergency or hsopital care.
    38 points
  39. Yes, some people do come in with the attitude that they will try and "beat" whatever is asked of them. The thing is, there is not really anything to "beat." Much of the information for a risk assessment will come from collateral information--he can deny all he wants but he has a conviction for CSAM and sworn testimony that indicates he was a juvenile hands-on offender. Nothing he says can change that. If he were to open up and tell a story that seems even moderately plausible or consistent with collateral information, it would be in his favor. But not very much. Federal sentencing guidelines do not really have a category for: I thought I could beat the charges so I refused a plea but now that I am guilty I would like to express the remorse that magically was missing a few months ago. That said, I expect on most formal risk assessment measures that he will NOT be in the high-risk category. I say that because he doesn't have other arrests, no prior convictions, known victims seem to be female (dontgetmegoing on the sexism with male victims scoring higher), no history of serious mental illness or substance abuse, no history of probation or parole violations, etc. IOW, he looks pretty tame by sex offender standards. But the key here is precisely that: sex offender standards. He is a danger to society, no question. That he's probably not as violent or criminally oriented as some of the others is like bragging about Stage 3 versus Stage 4 cancer.
    38 points
  40. Sissy posted some old pictures she had of her and her sisters and Kimi. She said she is ready to express how she feels. She has been in the US for 10 years now. She says she regrets being adopted but she is thankful Kimi brought her to the US. She is thankful Kimi is out of her life forever and that she hasn’t talked to her in person for almost 5 years. She doesn’t miss her at all and did have hatred towards her while she lived with her but now she has forgiven Kimi for what she did to her. She does not want to rebuild a relationship with her or let her into her life ever again.
    38 points
  41. He's completely blown up his life. Now, after he lost his job at the FRC, plus caused his family's cash cow to go away, albeit temporarily, plus returning the NWA in considerable reduced circumstances, one would think he would have taken it as a big warning shot and cleaned up his life. But he didn't, certainly he has some issues that prevented this, but still he is really at a point where there's no coming back. Even when he gets out of prison in whatever years, what is he going to do? His kids may be completely grown by then and not know him. Who will hire him? Will his wife stick around? Or if she does, it's in name only and there's no way they will resume their previous life? Will his parents, who supported him in the last several years, even be around? Will any siblings assist in their parents' place? For someone who was the Golden Boy who was going to take the world by storm with his political "career" or "law degree" or just being the Super Duper Godly Man that everyone would listen to, he has done everything to ensure that none of it would happen and he would be worse off than before. And he has taken down his family with him.
    38 points
  42. I hope so. It’s just pathetic anymore. Why even have a blog about the Duggar and Bates families when everyone can just follow them all on Instagram? It’s pointless. I would feel robbed if I was married to him regardless 🤷🏻‍♀️
    37 points
  43. Something definitely happened. If they filmed and are now not playing the footage, that’s a lot of wasted money and work. The crazy thing is that there are multiple possibilities. Racism? Duggars? IBLP documentary? I bet Nathan and Esther will be so salty their big ridiculous wedding won’t be aired.
    37 points
  44. Hi y'all! Happy New Year. Hopefully the start of many, many years with at least one Duggar in prison. I had COVID all the way through Christmas and New Years and it was NOT FUN. 0/10 do not recommend, tried returning for a refund but customer service was not answering. Ended up in the ER on Boxing Day, despite being vaxxed and boosted. I don't know what variant I had, although a doctor I saw in the ER said my symptoms sounded more like Delta than Omicron, it was just a guess. Stay safe, everyone, please! Hospitals were overrun. Mr. Blossom was basically told to stay out of my room in the hospital while I was there unless he wanted to catch it too (he risked it despite my protests, thankfully did not get sick), doctors and nurses were telling me that they all know it's a matter of time until they get it because so many people are coming in every day. I opened up FJ a few days ago to catch up, saw someone bring up BBQ tuna, and decided that my stomach wasn't adequately prepped to go through that discussion just yet. But I'm back now!
    37 points
  45. Oh no a bloomin’ onion! Mark your calendars folks. 9 months from now, Baby Clark will arrive!
    37 points
  46. When I first read Sarah's final blog entry, I was really sad that we wouldn't get to see or hear anything about the Maxwell women escaping Maxhell. Little did I know that this random bible college would have our backs. 😆
    37 points
  47. I hope they also see that we are cheering for them to leave and have a happy life.
    37 points


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