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Showing content with the highest reputation since 08/22/2020 in all areas

  1. Bexi

    It's Been 9 Years

    I don't know if this is the correct place to post this but I really hope that maybe someone I interacted with on FJ about 9 years ago would find a bit of hope in this. I used to be a fundie Baptist young woman blogger, I ran a blog called "A Rather Unusual Maiden for God" back in 2009-2011. I also had a few threads on FJ talking with members of the forum I have thought about you guys over the past 9 years. I owe you guys a lot for contributing to my current life and happiness. I was a vulnerable young woman living in a toxic fundie hell hole. I was emotionally abused by people I trusted. I left fundiedom back in 2013. When I first started interacting with FJ I actually was starting to question things about my religious upbringing. Reading perspectives on life that were not fundie was critical to me leaving. If anyone who remembers me is still on FJ, thank you. I'm open to answering questions about my experience leaving the fundie movement and all the drama that has come with that decision. A lot has happened in 9 years.
  2. HereticHick

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    If you like piña coladas And getting off TLC If you're not into Gothard If you have half a brain If you like wearing pants if you want to And one or two kids Then I'm the love that you've looked for Marry me, and escape
  3. The thing is, when you grow up in IBLP, it is literally pounded into your head from the time you hit 13-14 that your purpose is to get married as soon as you are done with school. My family got involved in IBLP when I was 14 (I grew up IFB anyway), and I was immediately hounded will all kinds of “dont defraud,” “what to look for in a spouse,” “how to become what a guy is looking for in a wife,” etc. etc. My dad (with whom I have always had a terrible relationship with—not my fault, either) would tell me that if I didn’t behave or wasn’t respectful enough to him, no one would want to marry me. And on top of that, I remember sitting in David & Priscilla’s session at Big Sandy when they said “don’t marry a girl who has a bad relationship with their dad because they will not respect you.” As teenagers, we are taught that any relationship with the opposite sex has to be intentional, and we aren’t to casually talk if we aren’t interested in getting to know them — for the purpose of marriage. It sounds insane from the outside, but no one on the inside questions it (I think the parents should, though!). I definitely think Justin is too young to be looking into getting married, but I’ll bet no one — not himself, his family, or any of their friends have thought twice about it. Marriage is what you’re “supposed” to do, and it’s not about what you want, either, it’s about what God wants. By the way, from what I’ve heard through the grapevine of my old connections, Claire is around 19. Like another Benessa situation. So when I was between 14-16ish, I was manipulated into thinking that marriage was my only direction in life, and that it was what I wanted. Around 17 I got over the guy I thought I wanted to marry. Thankfully, as I was approaching 18, sirens really started going off in my head, and I started asking a LOT of questions. I rocked the boat at 19 when I, and unmarried girl, moved out of my father’s house and got a full-time job (I’m in college now, too). I currently work in an office that is very male-dominated, and I was terrified at first because, besides my daddy issues, it was basically ingrained in me not to talk to men. Also still feeling weird about texting one guy from my class yesterday when I was trying to help him get on a zoom class. I’ve lurked on FJ since I was 17, made an account when I was 19, and I’m just now getting comfortable joining the discussion. FJ has brought a lot of healing for me and helped me process a lot about my upbringing, all that to say — thank you all. This has been a brain dump ETA: Don’t forget the LISTS. We had to make lists of what we wanted in a spouse! As young as 14!
  4. Iamtheway

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    I can think of no other scenario where people would be happy about therapy resulting in drinking ...
  5. Zommom

    M is for Mama 7: Failing at Coronavirus

    Hi everyone. Off topic, but because I shared my good news of my pregnancy with you, I wanted to update you all. Sadly, I lost my baby boy yesterday. I was four months pregnant and had zero indication of any issues. I delivered him myself and he was perfect and beautiful. We named him Xavior. He had no chromosomal issues or any notable abnormalities. I was healthy and also tested negative for Covid. This was just a tragic, unexplainable, horrible loss. I needed surgery to stop the bleeding, so I have some recovery to endure. I am undoubtedly devastated. Thank you all for all you well wishes and I would appreciate your thoughts and prayers as we make funeral plans and take time for healing.
  6. squiddysquid

    Seewalds 44: Skip the Ads and Jessa Won’t Get Paid!

    So Josh was "just curious" but Jessa was the "problem child" Ladies and Gents, the Duggars in a nutshell.
  7. So this foolishness is you Americans' fault? Just because you have elections? Lol. I am Italian, living in Italy, do you really think that we had a three months long lockdown and we are still wearing masks and sanitizing everything because in the US it's elections year? In case you are interested, we are selling Fontana di Trevi, it's a really good deal, small price great art, and we have even more awesome pieces of architecture bridges, aqueducts, even the Coliseum! /sarcasm Never heard of pneumonic plague? Cue, it is a respiratory illness that transmits human to human through saliva droplets. It killed 30% of European population in just three years between 1347 and 1351, a 20% more died in the following decades. Too far in the past? Well, there's the spanish flu, in a couple of years it killed more people than the then ongoing WWI. Only until we find a vaccine. Here business is back as usual and kids are back to school. We still have cases but since we first put the epidemic under control with a strict lockdown then people complied with rules, now we are able to test, trace and quarantine everybody. That's what vaccines are for. Naturally occurring immunity never erased an illness, only vaccines do that. And we still have measles around because anti vaxxers are too stupid to understand this simple fact. Herd immunity is an effect of vaccination, it doesn't occur naturally and, as Boris Johnson recently discovered, any attempt at reaching it without a vaccine leads to and unacceptable number of dead. Ok we got it, you're a brainless trumpster who was fucked up by her own president who during interviews with a journalist says a thing and to you, knowing you're an idiot, he says the contrary. He knows you're too stupid to see through his lies. Congratulations. Where the fuck do you live? 19th century England? In the Nauglers' shitstead? The only people I ever met who had TB were an elderly survivor of Nazi camps and refugees just landed on our shores after fleeing war and famine. None of them died of it because antibiotics. First, TB Is spread by bacteria not viruses and that means we can cure it with antibiotics. Second, it's waaaay less infectious than COVID. Way less infectious. So much less infectious than healthy people who aren't starving, have access to running water, don't sleep in filthy overcrowded spaces and practice basic hygiene have virtually next to no chances to get it even if they meet someone who is infectious. Did I already mention how in my country we are successfully controlling the spread by testing, tracking and quarantining? That's because we first did a lockdown, brought the contagion under control and then reopened everything while keeping social distances, sanitizing hands and wearing masks. If we keep doing it right we can do it. It's a big if, mostly due to stupid negationists and carelessness, but we are doing it. This is the most stupid reason I have heard to justify letting people die and doing absolutely nothing about it. Btw you are probably still young but if you are overweight (like 60% of adult Americans) or have diabetes (13% of adult Americans) or hypertension (45% of adult Americans) you're a prime candidate to end up in ICU for weeks with COVID and a concrete albeit small possibility of not surviving it (the chances increase exponentially if you have more than one of the above previous conditions and if your local ICU is already overwhelmed). Can you afford it? Now think if you can still afford it if your president is reelected, the new SCOTUS repeal the ACA and the congress substitutes it with thoughts and prayers, with an extra prayer tossed in for those with previous conditions.
  8. frugalitymom

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    Did anyone see Jill’s snark about her drink choices? 🤣
  9. kpmom

    Maxwell 42: The Young and the Vestless

    I will never forget how one FJer figured out who Elissa was by the afternoon of the day they announced she and Joe were married! And with nothing more than some pictures and a first name to go on. If FJ was on the case way back when Amelia Earhart went missing we'd know exactly what happened to her.
  10. HideousGreenShirt

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    She confirmed it's with booze. Screenshots below in case the comments disappear. I've been saying/thinking this a lot lately, you go, Jill!
  11. neurogirl

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    Wow! That first day of school video was really sweet. I love that the teacher read a bedtime story. I was worried Iz and Sam wouldn't really get it but they both seemed to love it and then wanted to see pictures of their dad in kindergarten. I also think it was lovely how Sam got to do a big boy thing too with official potty training start. No snark here. That was actually quite touching and I'm really proud of them. If you had told FJ when Jill got married that five years later she would be in actual therapy, have jeans and a nose ring, drink alcohol, have only 2 kids that were starting public school, hanging out with Amy, and living outside of JB's influence, we wouldn't have believed you. They are making a ton of progress. Rooting for Jill to go back to school with Sam as well. Girl is curious and ambitious!
  12. Giraffe

    Maxwell 42: The Young and the Vestless

    I always think my cat looks like he’s wearing a vest. In honor of the vest titles, I shamelessly give you a picture of the reason I woke up at 5:30 this morning.
  13. front hugs > duggs

    Dillards 86: It's a Long Way to Tipperary

    It looks like Jill and Derick went to a sports bar (maybe a Buffalo Wild Wings?) to watch the OSU football game. Lady Gaga is playing in the background. ^This sentence is something I would have found to be “fan fic” if someone would have typed it a year ago.
  14. HideousGreenShirt

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    I feel like I need to preface this by saying I am no Dillard fan for obvious reasons but I'm so happy for Jill because SHE seems so happy! She's posting paid sponsorships and genuinely seeming to enjoy the cute, modern clothes. Her son is in a real school and has actual, non-related friends. Look at her smile in these photos: She has come such a long way in these last few years, I hope she continues doing whatever she is doing. I don't expect her and Derick to suddenly announce they are Pro-choice, anti Trump and accepting of LGBTQ+ people, but I do hope we see her to continue to relax into who she is, push for a career (if that is what she wants) and encourage her sons to pursue interests and education. I can see Izzy (and his friend, Rachel's son) signing up for a martial arts class or pee wee baseball when/if things calm down.
  15. front hugs > duggs

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    I think we need to remember that progress and growth is a journey and doesn't happen overnight. I think we can cheer the small successes, but also hold the Dillard's accountable for their actions. We can appreciate the learning and therapy processes, but also acknowledge that she may have a long way to go in terms of her beliefs.
  16. Josh has got to be envious of Jill... only two kids, husband close to being a lawyer (which was teen Josh's professed ambition,) goes where she wants, can have alcohol if she wants, public school for the kids, but most of all... free from JB's chains of oppression.
  17. jljohnson527

    Seewalds 44: Skip the Ads and Jessa Won’t Get Paid!

    Yes. Nothing has made me so glad to have left Christianity in the dust. I came running here to unload. You were selfish and self-focused? Yes, you were a child. Around 12 the world started to look different? Yeah, that’s maturity. Jessa was a “problem child,” are you kidding me?! It’s so clear that the belief system is pathologizing normal psychological development and it just left me so deeply sad and angry.
  18. Well, I have officially reached a new low. I am writing postcards to send to voters in swing states to remind them about the election. The group I volunteer with gives you the text to write & the addresses. They insist that you proofread the cards before sending them--and thank Rufus I did. Out of the 30 I had written, I found that instead of asking people to vote for "Joe and Kamala" I had written "Joe & Kendra" on 4 of them!!!!!
  19. MamaJunebug

    Maxwell 42: The Young and the Vestless

    Hey, Sarah. Retired actual copy editor here. Let me fix your post for ya. ——- Test readers are hard at work and loving the book. (Editor’s Note: If the test readers have to work hard, it’s not an endorsement.) I’m in the midst of heavy edits but nearing the stage of less fewer edits. (Ed. Note: For countable things (the number of edits), use “fewer.” For uncountable things (bean burrito filling), use “less.”) Beautiful illustrations are being created. (Ed. Note: Avoid using the passive voice. Instead write, “Illustrators are creating beautiful artwork.” But also note that only God creates. Limit your use of such blasphemy in future.) Mary’s cover is beyond gorgeous and in process. (Ed. Note: Use active verbs to increase interest. “Mary continues to progress with her cover artwork.” Also: the term is “in progress,’” not “in process,” unless you’re referring to the artwork at a stage of a printing process.) My parents are an incredible support team, enabling and helping me in any possible way. (Ed. Note: Use “encouraging” rather than “enabling,” which for about the last 40 years has taken on a pejorative meaning, such as people enabling another person’s bad behavior.) (Ed Note: “in any possible way” sounds awkward and is distracting to your post but you’re not paying me for this so figure out a better phrase yourself. I’m tired.) I covet your prayers. This is an intense season but the finish line is in sight! (Ed. Note: The verb “to covet” implies a dishonorable, greedy desire; see The Lord’s stated prohibitions against coveting another’s wife, house, goods, cattle, etc. Use a positive verb such as appreciate, earnestly desire or ask for your prayers. And add the phrase “for me.” Otherwise you sound like a deity requesting kudos Or, write that “I hope you all are praying for me!” (Ed. Note: Clarity needed: How is this season intense? Also: Fix your mixed metaphor, as seasons do not have finish lines.) Sarah: Real copy editors work to ensure that the writer gets her point across clearly, in her own style but without sounding like a donkey! Hire one! But not me! Losing Hope?
  20. TuringMachine

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    I didn't say if you take a random public school student and compare them to a random home schooled student that the public school student would be miles ahead. That would be absurd. What I said was that Israel who is one of 2 kids, has a father with an actual college education, and is going to a good public is going to quickly out pace his cousins who are one of an ever growing amount of children and are being taught by their mothers who barely have a middle school education themselves or by Ben in a group of multiple aged children. We've seen what Duggar education is. We've seen teenaged James doing basic multiplication, adult Joy not know what the 'x' means, and who can forget the infamous bankruptcy lesson. And you can't possibly tell me that Spurgeon is going to get lots of 1 on 1 time while Jessa is wrangling two other small children and in all likelihood pregnant again soon.
  21. Israel is going to the top-ranked elementary school in his state, not a struggling school. And I specified "crappy homeschooling" in my comparisons. I know people who homeschooled well, but that's not what Jim Bob and Michelle did. If the 2nd Gen Duggars plan to do anything similar to what their parents did with homeschooling or what Alyssa Bates is currently doing, Israel will quickly lap his cousins.
  22. sableduck

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    I’m actually totally shocked that Jill is drinking alcohol. Unlike wearing pants or sending your kids to school, alcohol is still pretty damned in the southern baptist church. Most non denominational churches now aren’t as anti alcohol, but Baptist churches still are. To give you an idea how indoctrinated this is, my husband, who has not been to his Baptist church in eleven years, still automatically looks around to see if anyone he knows is in the restaurant before ordering a drink and has only recently done it in front of his parents. If Jill is drinking alcohol, that signals they are moving away from any form of conservative Christianity. Pants wearing is okay, public school is kind of okay, but alcohol is still very much not okay, and defiantly not publicly. But Jill apparently doesn’t give a shit who knows she’s drinking, which to someone like me who grew up in that world is a huge step. Plus it leads me to believe she’s on birth control. Gothard spent a lot of time talking about the dangers of alcohol(one often told story was about how a businessman lost his business because he wouldn’t allow alcohol to be served there), and when it came to women it was all about your body being a temple that could be housing a baby at any moment so you as a woman must never drink. This would all have been drilled into Jill’s head growing up. Jim Bob is probably fasting and crying for his prodigal daughter to safely return to the Gothard fold.
  23. The Dillard's school shopping video was rather dull, but what struck me was Israel's patience, determination, and maturity, which will serve him well in the future. He can read some and recognize numbers, and I suspect Jill wanted to highlight that in the video. Reading and deciphering the list looked challenging for a child just entering Kindergarten. Israel handled that challenge like a champ. The video was heavily edited so there may have been times that were cut from the video when he showed his frustration, but that kid really tried hard. For instance, there was something like ... 2 24 Count Crayons. That's hard! It looked like they picked up the list upon entering the store so they probably had not seen it earlier. I'm willing to bet if they had that they would have gone over it carefully with Israel so he could read it to them with more confidence as they picked up the items. The other thing that struck me was how they were able to go about all this like any normal family. No kids having to watch or hold onto younger kids, no line chain or whatever that is called, no multiple carts wobbling down the aisles, no mother chirping in a sing-song voice to obey. Just normal shopping without being a spectacle.
  24. I believe so. One thing that is irking me about this forum is that we all criticize how fundamentalism forces women to obey all demands with a smile, or to use the FLDS term “keep sweet.” However, when a woman, like Lauren, does not follow those rules, rather than seeing her as asserting some level of control over her own life, she is criticized for being a bitch or not withdrawing from the situation in the “right” way like Joy and Austin apparently do. I’m not saying Lauren is great. She has hateful beliefs, but why do we criticize her for asserting the smallest amounts of autonomy over her own body or expressing herself through her clothing and decorating choices? It seems petty and like we are just playing into the fundie ideals of women being passive individuals with no feelings or desires of their own.
  25. Some days I really understand why Jesus wept.
  26. I'm going to call them Claritin.
  27. I bet Jeremy is secretly jealous. We’ve seen his ‘sophisticated’ dinners for Jinger with Andre Bocelli playing in the background and a bottle of sparkling grape juice. I bet he’d love to be a wine snob!
  28. I just watched the video and can I say how thrilled I am that the children have bed times and pajamas? Jill doesn't seem to be raising her children the way she was and kudos to her for that. Their house is so peaceful compared to what she grew up with. And her teaching Sam! Alyssa Bates needs to take lessons. Keep growing Jill, keep growing and may one day all the Dillards outgrow their awful beliefs. But for now I'll take these baby steps.
  29. princessmahina

    Joy & Austin 31: Adding Evelyn Mae

    We all still agree that Spurgeon was a...choice though, right?
  30. FloraDoraDolly

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    If the second generation Duggars are educated the same way as the first generation Duggars, then yes, I do think Israel will surpass his cousins-- and probably his aunt Josie as well. Anna seemed to be doing a pretty good job educating Mackynzie when she was little, but that was when they lived in DC, before the scandal, and before Anna and Josh had six kids (and I expect they'll have more). I also remember seeing footage of James Duggar at age 12-13, struggling to remember his multiplication tables, which most American kids learn when they're about eight or nine. There was also footage of Michelle trying to get Jackson (who was about 5 or 6) to do a simple "B is for ball" worksheet. Johannah was able to learn it immediately, but I shudder to think of how poorly educated that girl would be now that she's a teenager. Yes, there are homeschooled kids who outperform their public school counterparts. But those kids almost always have well-educated parents, not parents who spent their K-12 years at Michelle Duggar's School of the Dining Room Table and then were not even allowed to earn a degree at Clown College. Some of the grown Duggars might be able to do okay teaching the basics to their own kids, but that will change once those kids get to be in the third or fourth grade-- especially if those kids have more than two or three younger siblings by that time.
  31. Snarkasarus Rex

    Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

    I’m here for snarky Jill!


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