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"Hawaiian" style mac salad

Maggie Mae

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This is NOT your grandmothers macaroni salad, and I am not Hawaiian. This is more of a knockoff of the West Coast chain restaurant - L&L. Found in food courts, this recipe is far from healthy. 

Salt your water. This is the only time you get to season your pasta. So dump some kosher salt in the water. Alton Brown I believe once said it should taste like mermaid tears. I use a fair amount and find it difficult to add too much. 

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Boil the water and cook the noodles. I use elbow noodles, but I also live in a far off place and often Safeway is out. So unless I'm in the mood to head down the road and find out that Freddie's is out too, I will substitute mini penne or something else similar in size. Noodles should be Al dente. I don't have times for you. Taste your noodles or follow the directions on the box.

Drain the noodles. Rinse with cold water to stop them from cooking. I do a quick rinse and then add them to the mayo while still warm. This is a personal preference. If your noodles are still warm, they will absorb the mayo. If they are chilled, they get the silky dressing that other people prefer. Good cooking is about knowing your own tastes. 20180612_190226.thumb.jpg.b112632a0cdb5356eb548015993b5200.jpg

 

Add them to the chopped onion, green onion, and 🥕. I usually do my veggie prep first. So hopefully you followed the one rule of cooking and read the entire recipe before starting. 

I usually use about 1 cup of mayo to 1/2 a pound of dry noodles (half a box). 

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I think it goes well with a shot of Jameson, the food of my people. The cutting board looks dirty, but it's also stained with bad lighting. I don't wash between veggies, but i do clean and santatize after working with meat.

Once everything is combined, shove the entire concoction in the fridge. Let the flavors get to know each other. 

 

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Don't forget to salt the water! 

Oh, and white pepper at the end. It'll look better than black pepper. 

 

You can pair this with fake kalua pork. Take a pork butt, rub with liquid smoke and salt, and place in a crock pot. Cover and cook until it's done. Shred with a fork. Eat.

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Maggie Mae

Posted

41 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Do you have a picture of the finished salad, by any chance? :)

I took these photos a year ago. Obviously I started drinking and forgot to keep taking pics. Give me a few days and I'll make some more. My SO loves it. So does my best female friend. 

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  • Posts

    • Eponine

      Posted

      I agree that from my perspective it seems like fundie culture is changing, and has changed a lot in the last decade or so. And as many have pointed out, I think it's mainly to present it in a prettier, more relatable package to have a wider appeal.

      It makes me wonder, though, whether there will soon be another backlash that will make some fundie groups dive back into the isolationism that characterized them in the 1990s-early 2000s. At that time, it was a point of pride for many fundies that they stood out from the rest of society - that they were visibly and defiantly different in ways that many no longer are. We often see that many fundies get a self-righteous pleasure in obviously not "belonging" to modern society. That kind of clear difference also feeds their persecution complex.

      I could see this gradual trend of assimilating into the larger culture pushing some subsets farther away, and I wonder if there is going to be an ongoing cycle of isolationism-assimilation-isolationism, etc.

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    • nausicaa

      Posted

      1 hour ago, Cleopatra7 said:

      Mormons also have a very WASPy aesthetic, which is probably very appealing to those Protestant fundamentalists who still get nervous at media that show superficial diversity.

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      The average WASP would have a heart attack at a Mormon no-RSVP free-for-all wedding reception. My snooty East Coast ass had enough trouble adjusting to my Mormon's friend's wedding when I was a bridesmaid in it. 

    • nausicaa

      Posted

      14 hours ago, princessmahina said:

      ”you sure there’s no meat?”

      *eye roll* “bacon grease doesn’t count as meat.”

      yes, ma’am, it does 🙄🤢

      To be fair, I can see how a lifelong meat eater not exposed to many vegetarians wouldn't think much about the ingredients in the cooking process and just look to see if there's visible chunks of meat in the finished product. My Irish grandmother would have 100% done this without trying to be difficult.

      However, the "I will sneak meat into your food on purpose" people are weird and I've never understood what their problem is. (And I'm saying this as a meat eater.) 

      Or acting as if every dish that is vegan is automatically disgusting. I was once tasked with bringing a vegetable to my extended family's picnic so I made an edamame/bean dish that was vegan so it could sit out in the sun with no worries. When I informed my aunt that it didn't need to go in the fridge for this reason, the entire room recoiled. Again, I was tasked with a freaking vegetable dish!

      For the vegetarians/vegans, what do you do about your iron levels? When I experimented with it, my iron dropped precipitously and I was tired all the time (and my period was a mess). I was eating a balanced diet as well, not just mainlining Oreos. 

    • nausicaa

      Posted (edited)

      On 12/6/2019 at 8:15 AM, lumpentheologie said:

      I could never go home for Easter in college but many of us who stayed hunted for cans of beer in the library. 😂

      Wineries in my area have begun to do adult Easter egg hunts, with slips of paper redeemable for beer flights/meals/manicures in the eggs. They're really fun! (But a bit embarrassing when a woman is complaining to her friend about not getting anything and you and your friend have to walk by with your stuffed bucket and your chin holding your additional eggs in place... Never said I wasn't competitive. :kitty-shifty: )

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      Edited by nausicaa
      • Upvote 4
    • danvillebelle

      Posted

      It irks me that one of those images is an Orthodox woman, when this chick probably wouldn't even consider her a "real" Christian.




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