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Looking For a Clue

A blog by clueliss in General

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About this blog

Musings, Thoughts, and Ponderings of various sorts.  

Entries in this blog

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The Holding Pattern

While I sit here and wait for a massive spreadsheet to recalculate because I'm trying to delete lines, a blog subject popped into my head.  So here we are. Back in 2014 my life went sideways.  And at the time, I was already battling a depression and anxiety slide that was the result of my spreading myself too thin at work and in my personal life in 2011 through into early 2013.  I can see that now.  At the time, I didn't.  I did know I went into a slide from the scale.  I was a WW lifetime
clueliss

clueliss in required field

1

Watergate & My Crazy Aunt

So The Impeachment of Trump 2.0 - and my ability to pay attention to it due to Covid Pandemic Work From Home World is generating some memories for me.  And I'm returning to my long neglected blog here to record (and share) this one. I was 9 or 10 years old in 1974.  Fourth Grade.  My parents marriage was dying - Mom Divorced Dad that year.    We moved that summer.  But before we moved, I have this very vivid memory of being highly upset one Saturday morning, because the next Saturday mornin
clueliss

clueliss

9

I Love Her, I Hate her

Don't get me wrong.  I actually do love my sister.  Except when I do not.  And she has made it really really hard to love her in the last (doing the math here)  3.5 years.  (no really last 'contact' was June 2014 in a cryptic 'stand down, I'm alive' Facebook post - oh and this was in the period when I was getting Mom diagnosed with dementia and dealing with drive-offs and actually needed to talk to her).   And yesterday was her birthday.  And Facebook likes to remind me of this because her
clueliss

clueliss

0

Random Musings about Faith and Flags

So yesterday in church the beginnings of a blog post began to circulate in my mind.  And then yesterday evening after a day of my facebook feed blowing up due to taking a knee vs not taking a knee blah blah blah blah blah another topic started swirling in my head and so we have a combined topical blog post.  Bear with me while I do a bit of rambling here. By the way, yes, I find that often when I go to church writing related ideas start to circulate in my head.  Yesterday, I got off to a gr
clueliss

clueliss

0

I'm Sorry, I Can't Call Him That

Sorry folks.  I'm having trouble calling President Loudmouth by 45.  I just can't.  45 reminds me of a song by Shindown.  And I don't want to ruin the reference to 45 in my mind.  
clueliss

clueliss

9

YouTube - Because I'm Trying to Watch Less TV

So occasionally I go through these mental zones where I feel like I should watch less TV.  Usually when I'm feeling guilty for not working on my writing.  And lately in my effort to watch less TV I find that I browse YouTube.  Thanks to Hernameisbuffy I've found a whole plethora of British history sorts of shows.  My latest find is Restoration Home. As someone who used to watch This Old House (honestly I prefer the Bob Villa era) this is even better.  No, I don't have any grandiose ideas
clueliss

clueliss

0

An Exercise in Media Deprevation

So I'm working my way through Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way.   Which was going fine until I hit week 4.  Which started for me on Sunday.  Week 4 involves Media Deprivation.  Where the idea is to remove words (I write as a hobby.  I live for words) and all this other stuff to get you, in the end, to play.)  I made it almost 3 full days until I caved and went back to social media.  Oh, I still have the TV off and will likely complete the week there.  I was allowed work related access and y
clueliss

clueliss

0

Things I Can't Relate To

Reading the local news online yesterday I encountered one of those things in life I can't relate to.   In our fair city, the ebil school board is redrawing lines for a couple of the junior highs to combat overcrowding.  The article I read on said subject quoted a parent whining because of the number of schools their kid has gone to.  Without moving.   Unhuh.  Let me do the math on my personal history.  We moved between kindergarten and first grade.  Mom divorced dear old dad and we moved
clueliss

clueliss

3

Apocolypse? Okay. Works for me.

So one of 'those things' rolling around in my often warped, twisted brain lately has been the pondering of Trump as a sign of the apocalypse.  I'm coming at this as someone who used to be rather into eschatology (the study of the end times) (blame Jerry Jenkins/Tim Lahaye and the Left Behind series - which I now consider to be drek for the writing alone).  And over the last 17 years or so I've seen A LOT of finger pointing at various political or religious figures (usually Catholic) being the an
clueliss

clueliss

7

Wisdom Justice & Love

"I come to this magnificent house of worship tonight because my conscience leaves me no other choice. A true revolution of values will lay hands on the world order and say of war: "This way of settling differences is not just." This business of burning human beings with napalm, of filling our nation's homes with orphans and widows, of injecting poisonous drugs of hate into veins of people normally humane, of sending men home from dark and bloody battlefields physically handicapped and psycholo
clueliss

clueliss

0

How I Let an Idiot Podcast Pastor Derail My Writing

Yesterday in a discussion here at FJ, I linked to something by Pastor Joe Schimmel.  I know I've talked about him before regarding a different movie.  Someone at that time suggested a thread.  I thought I'd blog about things first.  Depending on reactions, I might start a thread.  If you enjoy fundie rabbit holes of the angry, judgemental pastor variety - take the rescue ferrets and head on in. I not only listened to this guy - I went back and listened to his podcast history. (Podcast/radio
clueliss

clueliss

2

Sorry, I Have Plans

It is my busy season at work.  Said busy season is not over until late January (when the auditors have vacated the premises) or early to Mid-February (when the bosses have gotten back from round 2 of budget load).  It happens to coincide with 'the holidays.'   Also with winter and therefore shorter (darker) days.  All of which feeds my stress level.  And the stress feeds the depression at times.   I'm an introvert.  And frankly, I feed people draining.  I may like you, I just want to like you
clueliss

clueliss

4

Being Okay Enough to Decorate

So this year I feel 'okay' with Christmas.  Not great.  But okay.  I'll take okay.  The previous 2-3 years were hard.  And, yes, mom and dementia and being burned out from stress had a lot to do with the last 2 years but the year before those (circa 2013) I wasn't okay with Christmas and I had no clue what was coming at me related to my mom.  Among the things I kept from my mom's was certain Christmas decorations.  The tree, the ornaments I left all of those.  The items I kept were made by
clueliss

clueliss

2

Thank You For Your Suggestion

So yesterday I saw a meme on Facebook that made me go hmm.  It triggered - or rather confirmed a direction for my writing.  My writing has been on hold for a while.  For many reasons that I'm going to spare you here.  Because that is not the point of this entry.   Although the start over in the meme is what I'll probably do with the project that won't go away.  That I tried to set aside and, yes, is again nagging at me.   And when I shared, I did put a line or two about my writing w
clueliss

clueliss

2

Wait - who wrote the dialogue in that movie?

So I'm binge watching season 2 (so far) of Blindspot.  Yes, I have a TV addiction.  No, I'm not going to reform.  While watching an episode this morning before my weekly trip to my weight watchers cult meeting an episode dropped in the tidbit that Joss Whedon wrote 'the good parts' of the movie Speed.  Say what? Now Speed is a movie I've seen eleventy times.  I've used it for 20+ years to study plot structure.  And Joss Whedon is not who got the credit (Graham Yost did).  So I took to
clueliss

clueliss

1

Mental vs Actual Conversation

I just had one of those conversations where on my mental end it is far more amusing than what actually happened.  I do this.  I self-censor a lot.   I go into my boss's office to tell him - yes I'm going to Food Pusher's birthday lunch (her name as I reference it online for purposes such as whining/blogging etc).  Yell when it is time to go (I am currently located on the opposite side of our office from him, something that should change in the near future).   He starts to talk to me then r
clueliss

clueliss

2

Kashmir (cover) - Steve Vai, Apocalyptica (and a whole load of extras)

Eat your hear out DPIAT.  Loads of cellos (and evil guitars) in this.  Steve Vai and Apocalyptica performing Kashmir in Moscow with 30 cellos and 50 guitars .  (see what I find thanks to Jill Rodriques going to Facebook Live?)  I follow Apo on social media so I knew they did this, YouTube finally got around to suggestion the video to me toniht.     
clueliss

clueliss

0

When Someone Calls You a Workhorse

So on Monday a coworker (the one who moved to a corporate project assignment but is still located in Hooterville) asked me to go to a working lunch.  Yes, the mental drawbridge went up even though I accepted because she is heading the transfer of power knowledge transfer of accounts payable being outsourced (to India, a lovely country but on the opposite side of the world presenting logistical issues).  And last month end (really quarter end - which meant I had more to do) which was their first
clueliss

clueliss

7

Secrets of the Castle

I'm going to blame @HerNameIsBuffy for this.  Last year around Christmas she shared a link about Tudor Christmas on YouTube.  And I watched.  I enjoyed.  And discovered all sorts of documentaries on YouTube.  And since Jill Rodriques has now discovered Facebook Live, the Rodriqguii videos seem to have dried up so my YouTube forays have landed me into Secrets of the Castle.  Ruth, Peter and Tom (the same folks from Tudor Christmas Farm) are visiting a working model 13th century castle building ex
clueliss

clueliss

4

Leoti Supercell (By Stephen Locke)

Politics aside, I often miss my home state of Kansas.  (I now live in the middle of a neighboring state - no, it's not quite the same). I stumbled 5 (or more) years ago into a photographer/storm chaser via author Nancy Pickard.  He shared this on facebook this weekend.  http://www.stephenlocke.com/blog/2016/10/30/leoti-supercell-by-stephen-locke  
clueliss

clueliss

1

Another Bright Lights Mally Newsletter

There's a thread on this but I believe it's been achieved and I've decided that I would rather blog these instead.   link to the thread. In short - I used to co-teach Bright Lights.  A program for girls written by Sarah Mally.  I've had to listen to records with both Grace and Sarah Mally speaking.  And I'm perpetually on their email list.   I've gone back to church recently and discovered that Bright Lights has died out.  The person I cotaught with who championed it let it
clueliss

clueliss

7

EO's and your man's goldenrod

Oh.  my.  The extended family member that sells Young Living Essential Oils posted this.  That's right, apparently, they're wasting money on viagra and should be using goldenrod.   The hashtags have my jaw on the floor.    
clueliss

clueliss

1

Coloring with Mom

Last Saturday I stopped by for a visit with my mom.  It was a really good visit.  Or as good a visit as one can have when the person you are visiting is no longer the person you knew, has memory issues, mobility issues and the like.   I finally tried something I had wanted to for some time.  We colored together.  Due to time constraints (mine) we didn't finish the project (and next time I would have us coloring on different pages).  But we did some coloring with my trusty Crayola twistables
clueliss

clueliss

1

Rally Jr Back in KC

http://www.kansascity.com/sports/mlb/kansas-city-royals/article96531897.html#storylink=fb_staff Looks like Rally Jr is back in KC.  With a proper home/carrying case and improved instructions for care.  (Meaning they're feeding him).  And yes, the Royals are back to winning with Rally Jr in tow!  And yes, I'm still amused by the entire praying mantis mascot saga.  
clueliss

clueliss

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