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It's me, meep.

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About this blog

Stories & Thoughts from meep. 

[Testing these blogs out. Am I doing it right?!?!]

Entries in this blog

Will FJ help me pick a school?

Why, hello there! It's just me, meep. Awake at 2 am, wired and nervous, the norm around here. 😇 I've been doing the community college thing here in the USA and this semester was my time to apply for transfer to a 4-year university. I got accepted to 6 schools (wooo!) but I'm having a hard time deciding where to go. To be honest, I thought 1 or maybe 2 schools would accept me, and I'd be forced into a program/school by sheer limited choice. So while I'm proud that I have these choices, I

meep

meep in school

Is therapy about family helpful?

hi FJ folks, I was wondering if anyone here has gone through therapy specifically to deal with processing how they grew up and the relationship with other family members (NOT family therapy). Did it go well? Did it help you?  [possible TW for self-harm] I'm beginning to realize that there were parts of my childhood that were really neglectful and somewhat abusive. I have a lot of issues with my mom because she doesn't know how to put up boundaries (for anything, ever). I felt my pare

meep

meep

Part 1 (First Brushes with Fundamentalism)

Largely, I have been writing down my experiences as a sort of catharsis, but also on the off chance my experiences might resonate with others out there. I've spent the last ~8 years of my life thinking, processing, healing, reconciling over (etc, etc) the happenings in my childhood, how I got where I am, the whys of it. And now...I want to be done with it. It will always be part of my history but I don't want to cross into the territory of not being able to let go and living in wallowing of self

meep

meep

Feeling Down

I don't know how to deal with people.  I know I am an introvert, and I've always been on the shy side (though it's hard to tell what is my natural personality vs what my parents and religion WANTED me to be). But I really feel completely, totally exhausted when interacting with people.  Being shy, meek, with a soft voice - this is not a recipe for being taken seriously. I've tried doing a lot of work in being more assertive, appearing more confident (I feel pretty confident most of the ti

meep

meep

I'm Not A Doll

I hadn't seen my parents in weeks. We've been staying away from each other since even before the COVID-19 lockdown as they are in the vulnerable age bracket. My mother texted me, insisting she come over. "That's not the greatest idea," I said, but she wanted to drop some things off. I approached her van and she gasped. "Meep! You have gray hairs! I can really see them in the sunlight!" I've had gray hair for a while, much to the shock of my parents, who luckily never went gray until well into th

meep

meep

Homeschool: My Pros and Cons List

I've been to private school, public school, and homeschool. I never thought much of it but now being older, I realize that it's a bit unique to have experienced it "all." I figure I would make a pros and cons list based on my experiences. My experiences - that is a big flaw itself, right? Private schools are very different from one another. Public schools can be totally different worlds from each other. And obviously homeschools can be DRASTICALLY different. So take these lists with a grain of s

meep

meep

Public School: My Pros and Cons List

I've been to private school, public school, and homeschool. I never thought much of it but now being older, I realize that it's a bit unique to have experienced it "all." I figure I would make a pros and cons list based on my experiences. My experiences - that is a big flaw itself, right? Private schools are very different from one another. Public schools can be totally different worlds from each other. And obviously homeschools can be DRASTICALLY different. So take these lists with a grain of s

meep

meep

Private School: My Pros and Cons list

I've been to private school, public school, and homeschool. I never thought much of it but now being older, I realize that it's a bit unique to have experienced it "all." I figure I would make a pros and cons list based on my experiences. My experiences - that is a big flaw itself, right? Private schools are very different from one another. Public schools can be totally different worlds from each other. And obviously homeschools can be DRASTICALLY different. So take these lists with a grain of s

meep

meep



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    • HerNameIsBuffy

      HerNameIsBuffy

      My grandmother came from a town in Missouri of (now) population ~14,500 and 8 Baptist churches.  Not counting all the other denominations, that's just the Baptists.  
      MY grandfather came from Drimoleauge, Ireland which has a current population of ~450 people (not a typo) and 1 church and 5 pubs.  
      If I get a time machine take a wild guess which ancestors I'm going back to visit?  I'm not social, don't enjoy bars, and prefer to imbibe at home but sitting in a pub has to be better than being Godbothered to death by people pretending they don't drink.  
      Fun unrelated fact - Martin Luther spent so much time on the toilet he had a desk built so he could work there, and would take meetings while actively pooping.   He also wrote letters to people with vivid descriptions of his poops.   That should make everyone feel a little better about their work place and emails.
      · 0 replies
    • Chocolate Lover

      Chocolate Lover

      Dear FJ ladies of a certain age.  Did you know that joint pain can appear/increase with perimenopause and menopause?  No?  Me neither till my rheumatologist told me yesterday.  It's all down to the fall in (o)estrogen. 
      Looking online, it'll either settle down as your hormones adapt to their new levels OR you're stuck with it!  I don't fancy needing NSAIDs for the rest of my life.
      · 0 replies
    • GoddessOfVictory

      GoddessOfVictory

      This evening a biker dude went out of his way to follow my car into a retail store's parking lot to lecture me on - get this - braking when the light turned yellow. I had been going the speed limit and it was by no means the shortest stop I've ever made. He condescendingly told me that next time I should hit the gas because people like him could "go splat" into my car. Really dude?!? If you're going to drive any vehicle, especially a motorcycle, actually learn to drive it and don't effing tailgate me when I'm going the speed limit. And if you did rear-end me, guess whose fault it would be? Certainly not the person who was obeying the law.
      Also, I hate living in a society where I have to say this, but I am soooo thankful my male coworker was with me. The biker stopped his bike right behind my car when I parked and wouldn't move it until his lecture was over. If I had been alone I would have been terrified.
      · 0 replies
    • HerNameIsBuffy

      HerNameIsBuffy

      Happens every single year.
      I am out of sorts, missing my dad, crying and needing to talk about him and sometime later in the day I realize it's his birthday.  
      Today.  I always chalk it up to being around Father's Day and all the ads and such, but so weird like I have an subconscious calendar for sadness that never fails to send me a reminder.
      Was listening to this on the way to work this am thinking of him.  I know it's supposed to be about a relationship, but to me it just speaks to dead parents. 
      Happy Birthday, Daddy.  It's another shitty fucking day without you.
       
      · 2 replies
    • indianabones

      indianabones

      I saw my first sea turtle today! It was magical.
      · 1 reply
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