I don’t hold them to a different standard. I have sympathy for Anna too, and while I still HOPE she will find the strength to leave, I can understand why she might not be able to. I’m currently reading “See What You Made Me Do” by Jess Hill, which is an excellent and highly researched book about power, coercive control and domestic abuse - I believe there are now UK and US editions of it and I highly recommend if you can get your hands on a copy. It delves in to a lot of the abuse that Anna would be experiencing, why women stay, why men continue to abuse them, and what needs to be done in the broader system and society to change things. And to be clear, when I say “abuse” here I am not speculating that Josh beat Anna, I’m speaking about the kind of abuse that we know fundie women experience, where they are isolated and broken and financially controlled, expected to provide sex on tap, meet impossible standards, and blamed for everything.
Anna has a responsibility to get her children out, but Josh also has a responsibility to not be a disgusting piece of shit and unworthy father, and him failing to meet that responsibility is a far bigger failure than Anna’s.