@Conundrum I understand your feelings completely and agree with your counselor as well. Sometimes, as much as our parents love us, they have their faults and hangups to make them do things that we don't agree with but can't do anything about because we are kids / teenagers at the time. Your feelings over the years over having the jewelry was your guiding force in your decision and now that you are completely free to right the wrong, you did it.
My parents passed away in recent years (mom in 2015, dad in 2017). While they loved me and my sisters, and were good parents in many ways, they had their faults and could be very inflexible, very convinced that there was one way to do things, very insistent about what "should" and "shouldn't" be. Because of this, they took the attitude that other members of the family, like my aunts and uncles, who didn't live their lives in the same way, as being somewhat unworthy. After my grandparents died and their homes were cleared out, my folks brought everything to the house and it turned out they kept it there and mostly never dealt with it, my mother did try to some extent. They always said they took everything because they were the only ones who had the storage space and besides no one else wanted to deal with it. When my sister and I started clearing the house, I was approached by family members inquiring about specific things, that in their words "my parents had taken" which are pretty strong words coming from those family members. I have no reason to think that they are lying.
I suggested to my sister who was the executor, that we let the family members just have those things they are asking about. Let them come and get them, or send them, but she is very much my parents' daughter and has the same attitude towards the family as my parents did. They are not worthy. She finally capitulated on some things when the pressure was on her to clear out the house (a story in itself) but only then. Even so, there was a lot of family stuff that she simply sold in the estate sale or donated.
Unfortunately, in recent months a rift developed between my executor sister and my youngest sister. The handling of the estate was just part of the problem, there were other issues between them. Executor sister then refused to send things to younger sister, things that were promised by our mother, things that executor sister said "she couldn't find them anymore". She would not listen to me. It took contacting the estate lawyer to get those items sent. After the estate sale, youngest sister requested some additional items that were left over, I took those items (with my sister's permission but tbh I did not indicate that youngest sister wanted them, just that I could take them) and quietly sent them to my youngest sister.
Sorry for the long story, but just wanted to share why I understand wanting to right a wrong like this.
The dog toy was not for her, I had it packed for me because I always bring one with me when I go on vacation. I showed it to her and she loved it and so I gave it to her. She even pulled it around. I had to remind her not to damage it once and she immediately stopped chewing on it and continued to play nicely. Being nice to stuffed animals is very important due to my love for them. I'm glad that she listened so well. (Still, she won't have unsupervised play time with them, only her doggy toys.)
I'm sure she will adapt fast to her new life once she is here. Big sister wasn't potty trained when we got her and it took only a week or so. My Mum only said that our plans on renovating our floors are on hold until after that is done when she is here.
Her big sister loves to pee with a audience. Haha! She likes it when we watch and even checks if we do.
Kiki will have the time of her life during "potty training". A famous German dog trainer once said that you are praising them right if the neighbours think you are crazy. 😂
Thank you. Deep down I believe I’m hearing her in the recordings because I know my moms voice but I’m also grieving. I know that grief can cause one to think odd happenings are their loved one communicating when there is logical explanation.
In our family, on my maternal side, once they pass on they visit in dreams; often more than one person on the same night. It’s happened to my mom and me when my grandmother passed away when I was 12. When I dreamed I spoke to her (but didn’t see her) my Aunt L and my best friend (whom I will refer to as “M”) dreamed of her the same night.
M and I have been best friends since we were 10 and my mom often said we were closer than sisters. It doesn’t surprise me at all that my mom is visiting her in dreams to relay messages to me. I’m jealous I haven’t seen my mom, yet, but maybe my mom thinks / knows I’m not ready; therefore visiting M because my mom knows I trust M and she would never lie to me about anything, much less something so important to me.
I appreciate your response to me and not thinking I’m crazy. In my last blog post I said I wanted honesty and felt since y’all don’t know me I would get honest responses. Even if it’s not what I want to hear, honesty is what I need.
This blog on FJ is very comforting. It’s anonymous so I can say exactly what’s on my mind and what’s going on in my life without fear of ridicule and gossip. While y’all are a group of amazing and supportive people, y’all are also honest without being cruel.
It's battle of the book time again! Who wants to read a YA book and send me questions from the book to help my girl's team win..... <crickets> ah well, had to ask. Back to reading and writing questions