Franki ~ mommyofdaniel (funerals for 8&5 wk miscarriages)

[Triplet3]

I think this blog is fake. There's no way it could be true, surely?

[ZTwist]

She seems to be an "expert" in everything... body language, forensic interviews, the law, nutrition, baby body bags... How does her husband deal with her?!?!?

This is how:

"Paul gets all nervous and tells me I am going to offend people.  Too late!  The offense has already occurred and it was me who got offended.  "

"

[tropaka]

There's NO WAY this woman could counsel anyone - if she's really thinking the way she writes, she'd constantly be talking over them about how their troubles are somehow invalidating her own grief. Getting offended at someone else's grief or a friend's concern for someone else because it takes the focus/attention away from you? She's batshit, narcissistic (sp), selfish....

[Cerysbell]

How many abortions is it possible to have in a single month? Or was her confused aunt pregnant with a litter??

I wondered if her aunt had a tubal, or a hysterectomy. This one seems bonkers enough to equate that with abortion. I also agree it could be really poor sentence structure.

[emmiedahl]

Isn't this textbook narcissism? Or am I thinking of another personality disorder?

[tropaka]

I forgot to ask/comment - just what is the "medical" research that indicates most women who abort regret/grieve profoundly - I thought that was mostly prolife hooey? I guess I could answer my own question seeing as she's involved in a "crisis pregnancy center"....

[vicka]

Isn't this textbook narcissism? Or am I thinking of another personality disorder?

ok, i just had my father look at it (ok, i begged him because he doesn't like to do this stuff). he is a psychiatrist (an md)

here is what he said:

"can't diagnose someone over a blog. but... if i HAD to make a diagnosis i would say paranoid schizophrenic, delusional, psychotic and possibly violent (based on the bullet comments). needs heavy meds. probably not a psychologist, it would be very difficult for this woman to function let alone treat others. everything she writing might be completely made up, one mad delusion. it is entirely possible she was never pregnant to begin with."

so there you go...

[Alecto]

So in other words - batshit insane in more layman's terms?

[vicka]

So in other words - batshit insane in more layman's terms?

thats what i got...

[Mommy22alyns]

ZOMG! She's Violet from Private Practice!

(Sorry, had to.)

Also, agreed that she is "batshit fucking insane" and, from what I understand, is living in Bassackwards Land: the tinier the fetus, the more tragic it's passing because of what it DIDN'T get to do. Baby dies at 20 weeks? "Well, at least he/she was known for their kicking and made an impact, unlike my poor innocent blastocyst!" Child dies? "Well, it had a name and a story but my fetus didn't! All he got was murdered by meanness!"

I'm not, at all, trying to minimize the loss of any child at any stage of pregnancy. It's a damn tragedy. I had an older brother who was born at 26 weeks gestation. My mother went in to premature labour and was given two options: they could stop her labour, but he could die in-utero, or she could give birth and they could do their best to save him - mind you, this was in England in the 1970's, so it looked bleak either way. My parents chose the latter, hoping to at least get to say goodbye, and he was born in to my father's hands less than an hour later because the doctors had left for lunch and the nurses didn't believe my mother when she said the baby was already coming. The last thing my mother knew of her third child were his weak cries as he was whisked out of the labour room by a panicking nurse. They never saw him again, not so much as a photograph, and to this day doesn't know what happened to his tiny body. It was a case of, "we're sorry he didn't make it, here are your discharge papers." It damn near killed her to lose her baby that way, and according to my dad she's never been the same since - there are deep-rooted psychological scars that she is simply never going to heal from. As a result, I'm a big advocate of mothers having the chance to see their babies, and to grieve a loss in any way they wish, and if this woman had burned up a maxi pad, put it in a coffin and kept it for herself? Well, that's her process and her business.

It's her absolute fucking ignorant perspective that her pain is the only pain that matters, her grasping for reasons why other people's children somehow don't count as much as a zygote does, and her vendetta against all of humanity who don't share her exact views on the preciousness of her fetuses(fetii?) that pisses me off.

Also, does she believe that other pregnant women put themselves in an impenetrable bubble for the entire 40 weeks of pregnancy (and, I guess, during any TTC time) so as not to encounter anything unpleasant and cause "babyloss"? Or is she just so sensitive and emotionally unstable that upsetting her can kill off the unborn? It was kind of weird where she said that she read that (arguably non-hostile) email and her blood pressure and heart rate were elevated for a full 48 hours! Hyperbole much, or could she be psychotic? (actually, I think I know the answer to that.) Part of me wishes she'd come here and explain her reasoning better, and another part of me is scared shitless that she reads this, lest she track me down and shoot me in the head. I haven't been a fetus for 25 years so I've probably more than worn out my welcome :?

Edited because I'm cold and shivery and riffling.

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother. That would have probably put me over the edge too. :cry:

[treemom]

Yeah in some ways the weird nonsensical ranting reminds me of my dad.

[Sola]

So in other words - batshit insane in more layman's terms?

You know, I am in favour of petitioning the DSM-IV to include 'Batshit Insane' as a recognised mental disorder...

[vicka]

You know, I am in favour of petitioning the DSM-IV to include 'Batshit Insane' as a recognised mental disorder...

my father would object.

then what would he do with 4 years in college

3 years in medical school

5 years in residency

3 years in fellowship

and 3 board certifications.

;)

[Alecto]

my father would object.

then what would he do with 4 years in college

3 years in medical school

5 years in residency

3 years in fellowship

and 3 board certifications.

;)

He'd be able to prescribe medication to keep them from being batshit insane?

[meda]

He'd be able to prescribe medication to keep them from being batshit insane?

Can you imagine the drug ads? Celabrex can help with mild to moderate batshit insanity...do not mix with alcohol or fertility drugs. Side effects may include a sudden awareness that the world does not revolve around you...

[Austin]

And always remember to seek medical treatment for an erection lasting more than four hours :D

[Vex]

Wow, I never knew I had so many angel relatives. Angel siblings, angel second cousins... and those are the ones I know about.

I'm pretty skeptical about all her many 'specialties' (I wouldn't have thought a university would allow someone to do a doctoral dissertation on the subject of diets that make a fetus male or female, which is at best quackery rather than actual science). However, if has a PhD in psychology, she could be a forensic expert. Basically, a forensic expert just means a person who is qualified in a certain field to give evidence in criminal cases (hence the forensic part). Most of the time, all this requires is a certain degree, a number of years working in the area you're testifying in and specialised knowledge of the subject. I want to work as a forensic expert in my area of study one day, and I know that for people in my speciality, you need to at least have a master's degree before anyone will let you take the lead on a case or testify in court.

So, of all her many dubious claims, I can believe that she's been called to testify in court before. I'm not sure if she's an actual forensic expert or if she was just called to testify once and assumes this makes her a forensic expert, but it is possible.

She is really, really crazy. I have to wonder if the trauma - physical and emotional - of her attack in college pushed her over the deep end. She is probably the least sane person I have ever encountered on the internet.

I don't have much knowledge about fetuses, but would a baby have an arm and hand at 8 weeks? Also, how would she even find a 5-week-old fetus amongst all the clots and tissue?.

Her 'babyloss' story about the first one made no sense to me. You're cramping badly and know you're pregnant, but you don't call the doctor or 911? If it was 4am on a Saturday and I thought I was miscarrying, you can bet your ass I'd be making phone calls and not giving a damn who I was waking up. She waited until late morning before even calling a doctor (after a friend told her to) or going to the hospital, which just blows my mind.

Obviously the second one makes far less sense, but the horse has been beaten before I arrived with my whacking stick ):

[cate]

Too bad she's not a practicing trauma counselor. I'd volunteer to go be her patient to find out what she said. My mother was murdered when I was 16. Like, the actually shot in the head kind, not the people-said-mean-things! kind. I'd totally go to her and sob and scream and tell her it's so insensitive and inappropriate to even SAY the word "mother" to me without acknowledging my loss! How dare she claim to be a "mother" when I don't have one?!

[NurseNell]

Too bad she's not a practicing trauma counselor. I'd volunteer to go be her patient to find out what she said. My mother was murdered when I was 16. Like, the actually shot in the head kind, not the people-said-mean-things! kind. I'd totally go to her and sob and scream and tell her it's so insensitive and inappropriate to even SAY the word "mother" to me without acknowledging my loss! How dare she claim to be a "mother" when I don't have one?!

I'm sorry, that truly must have been awful. I can't even imagine.

[Vex]

Too bad she's not a practicing trauma counselor. I'd volunteer to go be her patient to find out what she said. My mother was murdered when I was 16. Like, the actually shot in the head kind, not the people-said-mean-things! kind. I'd totally go to her and sob and scream and tell her it's so insensitive and inappropriate to even SAY the word "mother" to me without acknowledging my loss! How dare she claim to be a "mother" when I don't have one?!

That's horrible, I'm so sorry that your mother and you and your family had to go through that. I hope that her killer was brought to justice.

I've been trying to find the identity of the 'baby killer'. Considering the information she gave about the companies she was involved in, I think it's possible. She needs to be linked to that blog.

My grandmother was a paranoid schizophrenic. She was pretty damn crazy. Her cancer went undiagnosed for 20 years because she didn't trust doctors enough to visit one. In the end, my mother had to threaten her to get her to the hospital by telling her if she didn't go willingly, she would call the police and force them to take her. My grandmother went and was diagnosed with cervical cancer, but by then it has spread everywhere. She was booked to have an operation to take out many of the cancerous organs and to remove masses and dead tissue to make her more comfortable. My mother specifically told the nurses and doctors to not tell her she was having the surgery because she knew my grandmother would refuse it.

A nurse came in on the morning of the operation, saying cheerfully 'It's time for your operation, dear!'

Of course, my grandmother threw a shitfit, wouldn't have it, and died in agony from septicemia.

This woman is, I think, crazier than my clinically diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic grandmother, and we always contend that the schizophrenia killed her rather than the cancer.

Plus, I never realised in all these years we should have sued the nurse for muder. After all, we did tell her not to say anything or she'd refuse the operation and she did it anyway, and my grandmother died shortly after. Clearly it was a deliberate ploy to kill her.

[MarciaBrady]

Too bad she's not a practicing trauma counselor. I'd volunteer to go be her patient to find out what she said. My mother was murdered when I was 16. Like, the actually shot in the head kind, not the people-said-mean-things! kind. I'd totally go to her and sob and scream and tell her it's so insensitive and inappropriate to even SAY the word "mother" to me without acknowledging my loss! How dare she claim to be a "mother" when I don't have one?!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[MarciaBrady]

I've been trying to find the identity of the 'baby killer'. Considering the information she gave about the companies she was involved in, I think it's possible. She needs to be linked to that blog.

I'm sorry about your Grandmother.

That's a great idea to try to find that woman and warn her about what's going on.

[Guest]

Long-time lurker here.

Oh my god this woman is all sorts of nuts.

[Vex]

I'm sorry about your Grandmother.

That's a great idea to try to find that woman and warn her about what's going on.

Thank you. I haven't had any luck, but admittedly I am no cyber sleuth. I'm sure other FJ-ites will be able to find her.

[AKay]

Oh goodness. Yeah, this woman is definitely in need of psychiatric help. :|