Arndts (Safe at Home) 7: Waiting on Wedding Photos

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

My MIL wore an old beige suit she had had for years*. She also wore it to Mr Dress' brother's wedding several years before ours. It was an old suit then. I knew about it beforehand as she informed me she was wearing it even if it clashed with my mother's outfit.  FIL wore a navy blazer and khakis; both were in desperate need of dry cleaning*.

She was not happy At. All. about our engagement/ wedding. She and FIL flew in at 2:00 pm on our wedding day (7:00 pm wedding) and left on a very early flight the next morning. Truthfully we weren't sure they would be at the wedding until they let Mr. Dress know late afternoon they were at the B&B. Which he paid for because they refused.*

We had a small wedding, only immediate family and a few close friends (spent the money on the honeymoon). Since ILs refused to host a rehearsal dinner* we didn't have one. My parents, Mr Dress, and I went out to dinner the night before the wedding.

*Did I mention my ILs were very rich, but acted like they didn't have a dime. 

After the ceremony FIL said call me First Name. MIL said (quote) "And you can call me Mrs. Dress"  For the rest of her life I never called her anything when I spoke to her.

[nelliebelle1197]

13 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

My MIL wore an old beige suit she had had for years*. She also wore it to Mr Dress' brother's wedding several years before ours. It was an old suit then. I knew about it beforehand as she informed me she was wearing it even if it clashed with my mother's outfit.  FIL wore a navy blazer and khakis; both were in desperate need of dry cleaning*.

She was not happy At. All. about our engagement/ wedding. She and FIL flew in at 2:00 pm on our wedding day (7:00 pm wedding) and left on a very early flight the next morning. Truthfully we weren't sure they would be at the wedding until they let Mr. Dress know late afternoon they were at the B&B. Which he paid for because they refused.*

We had a small wedding, only immediate family and a few close friends (spent the money on the honeymoon). Since ILs refused to host a rehearsal dinner* we didn't have one. My parents, Mr Dress, and I went out to dinner the night before the wedding.

*Did I mention my ILs were very rich, but acted like they didn't have a dime. 

After the ceremony FIL said call me First Name. MIL said (quote) "And you can call me Mrs. Dress"  For the rest of her life I never called her anything when I spoke to her.

I hope you got all her money and rolled around naked in it.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

My MIL is still with us.  A few years ago she sold the house (huge profit) and moved into independent living in Mr. Dress' home town -- which is a flight away from us and from where his brother lives. She now has dementia (in assisted living at the same community) that is inexorably advancing.  But when she has a good day she frets and fumes and agonizes and freaks about her money -- where is it, who has access to it, people are stealing it, she's broke, etc, etc. etc.

I still have never called her anything when I speak to her. Which hasn't been for 2-3 years as she doesn't acknowledge I exist.  Much the same as prior to the dementia.

[nelliebelle1197]

I know this cannot be the Arndts. But kids, this so Arndts!

 

 

 

Here is the quote that got me:

 

Spoiler

My husband never really had a father figure growing up. His dad left when Ben was around 5, so I think that may have sparked some sort of hatred against people who married into the family. Most people who’ve married in leave shortly after, and I get why.

Ben claims that his uncles, aunts, and cousins see spouses as “phases” and that people should “love their family, not strangers”. I just thought these people were a bunch of sad virgins 😬😬

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

34 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I know this cannot be the Arndts. But kids, this so Arndts!

 

 

 

Here is the quote that got me:

 

  Hide contents

My husband never really had a father figure growing up. His dad left when Ben was around 5, so I think that may have sparked some sort of hatred against people who married into the family. Most people who’ve married in leave shortly after, and I get why.

Ben claims that his uncles, aunts, and cousins see spouses as “phases” and that people should “love their family, not strangers”. I just thought these people were a bunch of sad virgins 😬😬

 

This reminds me of the Forsyth Family in Galsworthy’s fiction series about them. They can’t handle change. And even though people marry into the family, they aren’t Forsytes. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Ooh, my ex's family was like that.  His dad's family still hated his mom and his aunt's husband even though they'd been married over 30 years, they hated everyone that married in and in an effort to join the "cool kids" the spouses hated all the new people.  There are so many bullets I dodged with that one when I broke off the engagement I could have been an extra in the matrix.

[shesinsane]

On 6/24/2023 at 11:58 AM, nelliebelle1197 said:

I know this cannot be the Arndts. But kids, this so Arndts!

 

 

 

Here is the quote that got me:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

My husband never really had a father figure growing up. His dad left when Ben was around 5, so I think that may have sparked some sort of hatred against people who married into the family. Most people who’ve married in leave shortly after, and I get why.

Ben claims that his uncles, aunts, and cousins see spouses as “phases” and that people should “love their family, not strangers”. I just thought these people were a bunch of sad virgins 😬😬

 

I read that thread; 85% of the comments are some form of "You married into a cult." The groom's family resembles a checklist of warning signs someone is in a cult.

[JermajestyDuggar]

First the Arndts put in a full size professional looking baseball field on the property. Now they are putting in a beaker all/pickle ball court not far from the baseball field. I have a suspicion they are doing this because the guys are getting married, Rick is getting older, and they want to keep more of the adult kids coming back home as much as possible. 

[Howl]

11 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Now they are putting in a beaker all/pickle ball court not far from the baseball field.

Pickleball is gaining popularity at warp speed.  Tennis courts everywhere are being repaved and striped for pickleball.  It's equally available for men and women.  There is no specific season -- just whenever there isn't snow on the court or it's actively raining.  

They probably put two and two together and realized they could attract more people with pickleball, and one or more of the ki-dults started playing and they needed to keep them...SAFE AT HOME. 

[FilleMondaine]

@JermajestyDuggar you just get me. And then you pull out the Galsworthy. A number of years after reading, I found 3 bonus books about a cousin. I just love that this family was so rooted during a time of enormous change (1880s-1930s, with some memories shared of pre-industrialization)

 

@Red Hair, Black Dress, I am so sorry for your in-law’s and tomfuckery. Angry, bitter people really do end up panicked and afraid, don’t they? The Fox News, playing nonstop in nursing homes* doesn’t help. We here like you!

*’nursing home’ used for any assisted living, memory care, long term care facility in this case. I was the social worker at such a facility, what a sad thing to watch so many elderly people watch Fox News and then die angry and afraid. Worse if they were angry types, already.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Arndt updates:

James and Paige are engaged and getting married Oct 21.
 

Jacob Arndt and Joan Philip are engaged. 

Edited October 10, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[JermajestyDuggar]

I have to also point something out. They are going in order by age. Out of the 4 Arndts in relationships, Luke is the oldest and he got married first. James is next oldest and he is getting married next. Jacob is third oldest and he just got engaged. And Nathan is youngest out of all the brothers in relationships and they aren’t engaged yet. Their spots in the family lineup are 4th, 6th, 9th, and 10th.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I may have missed this -- do we know where Luke and his wife are living? The mothership or their own private home?

What's the over / under here on FJ that the 3 oldest Arndt sons (1-3 in birth order) will marry?

My bet is never / never.

Do we think that Wizzie will be allowed to marry or will she forever be housekeeper/ caregiver for her 3 oldest bothers and her parents?

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I may have missed this -- do we know where Luke and his wife are living? The mothership or their own private home?

What's the over / under here on FJ that the 3 oldest Arndt sons (1-3 in birth order) will marry?

My bet is never / never.

Do we think that Wizzie will be allowed to marry or will she forever be housekeeper/ caregiver for her 3 oldest bothers and her parents?

I think it’s possible the oldest three will marry. But I don’t think they will be these young 20 something brides. I have a feeling their brides will be older brides. In their 30s at least. I think it’s more likely you’ll find a single fundie woman in her 30s that is still chaste enough for the Arndts. I think that by the time fundie males get to their 30s, they’ve probably left fundieland behind. Sarah Maxwell and Elizabeth Botkin showed us there is still hope. 

I also think that the more the guys get married, the more likely Wizzie is to get married. There will be so much change in the family dynamics. There will be less brothers around every day and she will meet new people through her sisters in law. I wouldn’t be shocked if one of the sisters in law have a single brother they want to set Wizzie up with. 

[Howl]

On 8/27/2023 at 3:37 PM, FilleMondaine said:

The Fox News, playing nonstop in nursing homes* doesn’t help...what a sad thing to watch so many elderly people watch Fox News and then die angry and afraid.

Years ago there was an annual extended fam Thanksgiving, a lovely get together of between 20 and 30 people.   There was a wonderful, happy very elderly woman who was the widow of a member of the extended family, but she still enjoyed getting together with several generations of her inlaws.  When she finally went into an assisted care if-you-need-it facility in her late 80s, she was exposed to...Rush Limbaugh.  Sadly, it changed her into a much more dour person in the last year or two of her life. 

Edited October 10, 2023 by Howl

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, Howl said:

Years ago there was an annual extended fam Thanksgiving, a lovely get together of between 20 and 30 people.   There was a wonderful, happy very elderly woman who was the widow of a member of the extended family, but she still enjoyed getting together with several generations of her inlaws.  When she finally went into an assisted care if-you-need-it facility in her late 80s, she was exposed to...Rush Limbaugh.  Sadly, it changed her into a much more dour person in the last year or two of her life. 

You will laugh but I swear I had a nightmare last night that my mom married Rush Limbaugh. I flipped the fuck out in my dream and told her she must divorce him immediately. I know he’s dead. But my nightmare didn’t seem to know that. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Btw, my dreams almost never indicate something that would happen in real life. I have very vivid anxiety dreams most nights. They are never based in reality. My mom would actually hate Rush Limbaugh in real life because she can’t stand loud obnoxious men like that. 

[ven]

New engagement : jacob and jo ! 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 hours ago, ven said:

New engagement : jacob and jo ! 

 

We knew this but I’m glad it doesn’t look like they were all hiding in the bushes for pics like a bunch of creepers. 
 

I’m impressed by this young Arndt. I think there’s hope yet for some of these Arndt boys. 

Also James and Courtney should be getting married tomorrow. 

[Howl]

On 10/10/2023 at 5:22 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Arndt updates:

James and Paige are engaged and getting married Oct 21.

That's tomorrow!  

Has anyone sorted out if there's a specific interval between when an engagement is announced and the wedding date?  Ya know, because Arndts being Arndts and all.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, Howl said:

That's tomorrow!  

Has anyone sorted out if there's a specific interval between when an engagement is announced and the wedding date?  Ya know, because Arndts being Arndts and all.  

They have longer engagements than the Duggars or Bateses. They have at least 6 months or more. 

[Howl]

9 hours ago, ven said:

New engagement : jacob and jo ! 

 

Honestly, this is so sweet. I keep comparing this to the now largely irrelevant and curmudgeonly Stevehovah, who couldn't really be bothered to celebrate his daughters' marriages. 

Which social media platform is this? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Howl said:

Honestly, this is so sweet. I keep comparing this to the now largely irrelevant and curmudgeonly Stevehovah, who couldn't really be bothered to celebrate his daughters' marriages. 

Which social media platform is this? 

I believe it’s the Arndt Facebook page. I don’t know who runs it. Probably one of the sons. Or maybe they take turns and work together on the social media pages. I’m not sure. 

[Bassett Lady]

I am happy for Jacob and Jo. Their engagement picture is sweet and their affection for each other is genuine. 
 

The picture, however, brought to mind another picture, especially because of their familial obsession with penguins 🐧.

 

 

[0 kids n not countin]

This photo sorta makes me lol, Mama Arndt in her white short shorts with her hand not quite on her soon to be daughter-in-law's stomach🤭: