Franki ~ mommyofdaniel (funerals for 8&5 wk miscarriages)

[Rachel333]

I think it's just a matter of time until she finds us. We know she's obsessed with her visitors, and I'm sure freejinger will have shown up somewhere in her stats.

[Buzzard]

Alright, I won't do it.

I do think that BM has a right to know (if she doesn't already), but I'll stay out of it. I was motivated by a genuine desire to help her, though, not to start internet drama. If someone was writing blog entries accusing me of killing their unborn baby and making threats against me I would want to know, that's all. Normally I wouldn't volunteer to do something like this, but as I said, I have been the subject of a paranoid schizophrenic's anger and blame and it scared the hell out of me (and that lady was my own grandmother), so maybe I got carried away about about the crazy lady threatening an innocent commenter.

I dont feel like crawling through the blog again but she specifically mentions a precinct in one of the baby burial posts. I'm sure there is a website for those officers and you likely can submit the information online.

[Wolfie]

She was comparing herself to Laci Peterson, and this woman BM was Scott. She went on to state that if the law didn't prevent it, she pretty much would have avenged his death. It was on the 2nd or 3rd page in.

I agree that it's probably best to contact local police.

The Laci Peterson stuff has always been creepy to me, because I'm pretty sure that Laci was an aquantaince of mine in grad school. (there was a Laci from Modesto who was in the teacher credential program for a few classes with me, but didn't finish the program. If it wasn't her, it was her twin.)

[Vex]

I'm not too sure the police will take internet information from the other side of the world seriously, but I do think I'll attempt to make a report of some kind. BM might not be in any real danger, but I think MoD would benefit from some help even if it has to be in the form of a court-appointed psychiatrist. I know that nothing will be done, the cops would never stop working if they investigated every threat issued by someone on the interwebs, but she is a very sick lady. Perhaps her prior history might at least earn a phone call from them.

[Buzzard]

I'm not too sure the police will take internet information from the other side of the world seriously, but I do think I'll attempt to make a report of some kind. BM might not be in any real danger, but I think MoD would benefit from some help even if it has to be in the form of a court-appointed psychiatrist. I know that nothing will be done, the cops would never stop working if they investigated every threat issued by someone on the interwebs, but she is a very sick lady. Perhaps her prior history might at least earn a phone call from them.

Exactly. I've done this stuff for a decade. There are some people/cases that stick out and you never forget and you maintain a relationship with those involved. My guess is they know her well and will not hesitate to reach out to BM if need be. Its also highly likely that the police read this blog and know all about her krazy.

[Burris]

Oh my goodness. I don't know if this quote has been posted here, yet, so I'm gonna go for it! I'm going to deconstruct this in chunks, because that's what it deserves.

When Crazy Pants was attending a church service fairly recently, the following OUTRAAAAAAAAAAGE befell her: Another woman, presumably a fellow parishioner, had recently lost her own middle-aged son and (or so it seems) ended up with her granddaughter as a result.

THIS is what Crazy Pants made of it:

Her son was around middle age in life. She had her granddaughter with her. The young girl appeared to be about 8 years old. So, this young girl also lost her father. The situation was very difficult and I had to make sure not to add any more pain to the young girl in particular. I also wouldn't do anything to bring more pain to another grieving parent.

I don't really talk IRL about grief; it makes me feel somehow weak. I'm in an introspective mood, though, so I'll inflict my fellow FJers with a story here:

Two years ago, on April 1 of all days, my grandmother lost her 48-year-old son - my mother's brother - to a snowmobile accident. The friend who was out with him at the time of the accident saw fit to tell my grandmother the truth: that her son had hit a wire, cutting his throat, and that it took him a few minutes to die.

Grandma was already the guardian of his eight-year-old daughter, much to my chagrin, but not the adoptive parent. That was supposed to be me. But grandma wouldn't let go. She wanted another chance to raise a child who wouldn't die; a child that would get an education and go to college and not make the mistakes other members of our family had made.

On April 2, 2009, I withdrew my complaint - the case I had been fighting for two years: I had filed the initial complaints and injunction because my grandmother, in her youth, had been an abusive alcoholic whose actions caused my mother to lose all her teeth to malnutrition and develop several later-life disorders related to her ill-treatment as a child.

I had been watching my grandmother closely in those two years - I now live directly across the hall from her - and saw nothing of the abuse her much older children had endured. She and her ward were in counselling. They went to a variety of school functions. The girl was involved in sports and was (and still is) being monitored by teachers and others.

I couldn't do it - disrupt her life with a grinding court case; upend the only stability she had known in her short life. Not with her father dead.

The adoption went through about three months later. Now the girl calls my grandmother "mom."

She had borne six children, my grandmother, and only two of them are still alive: My mother and her younger sister.

In 1988, my grandmother had lost another son - he was only 17 and my mother's legal ward - to vehicular manslaughter. He was murdered by a drunk driver who was herself on parole for the absolutely brutal first degree murder she and an accomplice had committed against a man they lured away from a bar with the promise of sex, and for the attempted murder of her ex-husband whom she had shot in the back.

I had a miscarriage at eight weeks and it hurt, but my grandmother and my mother have both known pain I can't even imagine. I can't even fathom it. Both were victims of injustice. Both loved and lost.

For me, I have a loving husband and a great marriage - a consistently good life for these last many years. I graduated from university, and was the only member of my family to complete high school. I actually get to work in the field I love, though sporadically. (Heh.)

A good life.

I try in this life not to dwell too much on things that suck - because, well, shit happens. To everybody. What the fuck can you do about it? It just...is. That's why I read the Bible all the time - the Psalms of Lament sometimes. That's why I plan to train as a chaplain.

The ancients know because shit sucked for them, too.

Crazy Pants, a psychologist, needs to step out of her own head for a minute and try a whole lot harder to empathize with other people.

We've all crossed the line sometimes between sadness and self-pity, but this lady lives in self-pity all the time.

She became teary eyed or perhaps even cried at one moment in the evening because she was grieving and missing her son. I don't remember exactly what anymore. Do you know why? Because I was thinking about Danny and Stevy and missing my own dead children!

They were people, in a way - potential people. In reality, however, they were like esoteric bundles of hope more than anything else. They were real, but the pain of their loss will never be as real to anyone around this women as it is to her. She needs to come to peace with that before she destroys herself completely.

Another friend from church, whom I think is just precious, under normal circumstances, patted her on the arm and in a kind voice said to ME, a babyloss mother of TWO, "SHE has had a hard year!!!"

She fucking HAS had a hard year, dumbass; she lost her son and ended up, in her old age, with a young ward who needs raising. This isn't the Suffering Olympics.

I just smiled a winsome smile, which was the best I could muster, and said, "Yes she has. It's been a very tough year!" The latter sentence I was actually talking about me, and US, rather than her, and speaking to myself, and trying to validate Danny and Stevy's little lives, and comfort myself in being forgotten about by others.

So here Crazy Pants is saying that if others bear their own pain without also acknowledging hers, then they're being insensitive and mean - as if a woman showing sympathy to someone else is somehow slighting Crazy Pants.

[chiccy]

Maybe a better course of action at this point is to keep poking around to see if we can find BM's name, and then (maybe) contact her directly. That is, without contacting MoD.

BM sure is hard to find...

[Vex]

She repeatedly mentions the DA of Dallas, does this mean that's the police department I should contact? I don't really understand the way the US county system works, but I do know Dallas is a large city and I would think there are many different stations therein.

Thank you for sharing your story, Burris. I think people who suffer personal tragedy but continue to empathise and be strong and recognise the suffering of others are very admirable. It's easy to wallow in self pity, but putting your own grief and hardship aside for the sake of others takes true strength and compassion.

It seems to me that Crazypants is perhaps suffering narcissistic personality disorder. I am lazy so I am going to rip this list directly from a website, but:

A person with narcissistic personality disorder may:

React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation

Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals

Have excessive feelings of self-importance

Exaggerate achievements and talents

Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love

Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment

Need constant attention and admiration

Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy

Have obsessive self-interest

Pursue mainly selfish goals

I try and avoid armchair psychology, but I know someone with NPD and they sound SO alike that I can't resist speculating.

[desertvixen]

I agree with leaving this one alone, myself.

Although I admit to wondering just how much of what she has written has some basis in truth.

[Buzzard]

She references a Detective Spencer. I'm assuming he's Dallas PD and yes, Dallas is a large city. Since they were responding to a dead baby I assume he is with homicide.

http://www.dallaspolice.net/index.cfm?p ... 5&openid=5

[MarciaBrady]

I think it's just a matter of time until she finds us. We know she's obsessed with her visitors, and I'm sure freejinger will have shown up somewhere in her stats.

The links were all broken, so I don't think she'll find this site through her blog stats. I think the only way she would find it someone mentioned her by name and then she ends up googling herself. She's self-absorbed enough to google herself. I have no doubt about that. Did anyone mention her specifically by name in their posts?

[sassyNoz47]

I don't think shes been mentioned by name.. but seeing all the hits shes going to think there was alot of baby murders or losses and maybe she will try to track those hits. She probably is fretting right now about all the hits she hasn't posted since wednesday i think. Unless she has suddenly got some clients on her diet training or whatever the hell it was.

What i don't understand is that she says she has a rare chance of having a live take home baby.. always has had a hormonal problem. She also says due to her age and his that they would most likely have a downs or disabled child and that is totally ok. She just wants a take home alive baby.

I really hope that doesn't happen because I have 4 children the youngest is disabled and its the HARDEST job ever! It causes me to be insane part of the time I don't think this woman could handle it period!

Man I forgot to read about the cousin or whoever who died due to toxins shoot I meant to but the angel cousins story tripped me out and I closed her blog anyone read that story?

[Dixiebelle]

Hello,

Another de-lurker here (long-time reader). I registered to let you know that on p. 12 of this thread there is a link that is not broken. It's about halfway down the page.

Sorry to post and run but I just saw where someone said not to worry, the links are all broken. I couldn't find a report button.

Edit: of course as soon as I posted, I see the button! I'll report it...sorry :oops:

[Burris]

Long-time lurker here! This woman is so insane that she brought me out of lurkdom. I've been reading through the archives on this woman's blog and I found the post where she talks more specifically about the email that caused her baby to be "murdered." The email wasn't even mean. This woman is nuts.

mommyofdaniel.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-sons-name-is-daniel-and-id-thank-you.html

Oh, that's idiotic. The blog author, hereafter known as Crazy Pants ("CP"), completely - and it seems almost deliberately - misconstrued what her ex-friend was saying in the 'murderous' e-mail.

There's so, so much I want to say about that exchange but I don't even know how to parse it all.

Yes, the commenter seemed a little over-sensitive about a Facebook response that read simply, "Ditto, that." She probably took it as a slight and for reasons unfathomable decided she needed to explain herself to CP in a snippy (but by no means cruel) e-mail.

The commenter explained, for example, that she's so heavily wired because she runs several high-profile Facebook pages, presumably for additional income while her hubby is overseas. That those Facebook pages are for cosmetic companies is incidental.

CP completely missed the forest for the trees, choosing instead to focus on the "cosmetics" part to take another below-the-belt swipe at the commenter, and then she proceeded to say the commenter surely must never have suffered "babyloss" - and why the fuck is that now one word? - because she didn’t communicate in a way Crazy Pants saw as sufficiently empathetic to her own pain. And yet CP acknowledges - well, actually brags - that the commenter does NOT KNOW about CP's "babyloss"-related blogging activities.

So what did CP expect - that the commenter is psychic?

[Black Aliss]

I really feel for this woman. What little I know about pregnancy (I'm a nurse but babies are NOT my thing) makes me think that she has some issues with hormone production. That could explain why she had a negative pee test and a positive blood test. That said, if she came into the ER and told me these stories, I'd be calling for a psych consult.

This is something I know about from experience. I've had LOTs of first-trimester miscarriages. In the first trimester, at least, a urine test will be negative shortly after fetal demise, but a blood test will continue to be positive even after you've miscarried. It's how they diagnose a miscarriage even if you hadn't had a positive pregnancy test before you began to bleed.

[Rachel333]

The links were all broken, so I don't think she'll find this site through her blog stats. I think the only way she would find it someone mentioned her by name and then she ends up googling herself. She's self-absorbed enough to google herself. I have no doubt about that. Did anyone mention her specifically by name in their posts?

I'm pretty sure her name has been mentioned here, yes, and I know that yesterday in my amazement over her craziness kept posting links and often forgot to break them. I always fixed them within a minute, but it's possible I may have accidentally led someone to her blog.

[Black Aliss]

She got a hit on her blog from Uganda. She also thinks that every time she gets a hit from a different country it means someone else who lost a baby is visiting.

Edit: Example:

Thank you for that explanation. I was starting to wonder if she was sending a bloody panty-liner around the world, like "Flat Stanley".

[dianapavelovna]

I want "Trauma Counselor/Petite Bridal Dress Model" to be my user title. I like that she lists "completing doctorate" under hobbies. Bitch, please. In fact, as crazy as the crazy blog is, I think the pageant page is my favorite.

Franki is a Doctoral student in Counseling. She holds a Masters Degree in Counseling with Highest Honors from TX A&M University and a Bachelors Degree in Exercise Physiology from McNeese State University with minors in psychology, sociology and adaptive physical education. She and her husband Mike are patrons of the Vatican Museum of Art, the Dallas-Fort Worth Ballet and the 218 year old St. Louis Basilica in New Orleans' Jackson Square. Her talents include working with children and seniors, planning formal events, hostessing wedding receptions and volunteer work in her community. As a trauma counselor, her services have been insturmental in such high profile cases as Columbine High, Oklahoma City, Texas Baptist Church Shootings, American Airlines Flight #1420 that slid off the runway and The Oklahoma and Texas Tornado cases. She models petite bridal dresses and evening gowns as a means of adding a happy, fun balance to life.

Ms.Pelican State describes her husband as being extremely supportive of her school work, having earned his doctoral degree already. Franki's favorite activities are spending time with her family and friends. She is proud of her large Cajun family, stating that she has hundreds of cousins because her grandfather was the 16th of 22 children! (And this was before she even knew about all the aborted angel cousins!!1!) She was a school teacher and a school counselor for many years before venturing out into a group practice of counseling. Her specialty areas as a teacher included reading literacy, math and science. She has a colorful work history including being an aerobics instructor and personal trainer for 10 years while in high school and college. She also has enjoyed employment as a professional governess for families listed in the Social Registry. Franki and her husband Mike have been best friends for 10 years and enjoy spending time together on both work and fun projects. Their favorites include historical preservation.

So why didn't she and first hubs have teh preshus baybeez?? Too busy with historical preservation? /snerk

[MarciaBrady]

I want "Trauma Counselor/Petite Bridal Dress Model" to be my user title. I like that she lists "completing doctorate" under hobbies. Bitch, please. In fact, as crazy as the crazy blog is, I think the pageant page is my favorite.

So why didn't she and first hubs have teh preshus baybeez?? Too busy with historical preservation? /snerk

She was probably too busy counseling the victims of Columbine and Oklahoma City. And when I say "counseling" I, of course, mean watching a segment about them on the news.

[Witsec7]

...

Thank you for that explanation. I was starting to wonder if she was sending a bloody panty-liner around the world, like "Flat Stanley".

You have won todays internets

[ladypuglover]

Thank you for that explanation. I was starting to wonder if she was sending a bloody panty-liner around the world, like "Flat Stanley".

Must stop eating and drinking before reading here.

[Vex]

So why didn't she and first hubs have teh preshus baybeez?? Too busy with historical preservation? /snerk

She has three minors, plus her major for her BA? I have two minors and a split major and I thought that was a stretch. So she has done a BA, Honours, an MA, a PhD and she's now working on her second phD? Maybe she has been too busy looking for diplomas in boxes of Cracker Jacks to have teh baybeez.

Buzzard, thankyou for the DPD link. It seems like the only unit with an e-mail address is the homicide unit, which I don't feel is the right unit to contact. I would prefer to contact the special investigations or assaults unit, but I can't find e-mail addresses for them. I might try and call, but I don't see them taking me seriously since I'm not a US citizen. I'm not sure if they're obligated to take a report or if they'll just thank me for my concern and do nothing, but I will definitely try tomorrow US time.

[treemom]

Burris,

I am convinced this woman is seriously mentally ill. She couldn't step our of her pain if she tried.

And I have to say at this point I cant snark this. I just can't. It makes me sad and I want her to get help.

[Burris]

mommyofdaniel.blogspot.com/2011/06/graduation.html

edited to add this:

And this:

Hmmm...I just can't quit this.

I don't think she's necessarily lying about her academic achievements. If a teacher really did tell her something like that – some version of, “Your life will be better if you give up on academics, settle down, and have kids†- in the fourth grade, then there's a chance she might be learning-disabled. That broad label can easily cover people who communicate well enough verbally to complete advanced degrees (with special concessions such as a reader and amanuensis, which is how many blind students complete their tests) while still sucking ass in print.

Her being psychologically unstable doesn't help, either.

[Burris]

Burris,

I am convinced this woman is seriously mentally ill. She couldn't step our of her pain if she tried.

And I have to say at this point I cant snark this. I just can't. It makes me sad and I want her to get help.

I do agree with you, although it's hard for me - even knowing she's mentally ill - to fully sympathize with someone so self-absorbed. She wants to see another women imprisoned on manslaughter charges for writing a fairly innocuous e-mail that somehow, through forces as yet unexplained, caused an extremely early miscarriage. It's simply ridiculous.

I can't pretend the responses in this thread, including mine, are in any way therapeutic - and yet at the same time I hope she does read here, gets angry, and then settles into deep thought about some of the observations made here.

The kind of candor shown here is something her friends and acquaintances would never dare. I should imagine people walk on eggshells around this woman all the time – and even that doesn't offer sufficient protection from her ever-present rage.

She is one of the most self-absorbed people I've ever heard of. She has denied it and slammed her critics for saying it, but she needs psychiatric help - like serious, in-patient psychiatric help. Her grief has entirely consumed her, and it will continue in digesting her until there's nothing left of her life if she goes on as she has.

I don't think anyone ever "gets over" grief; they simply learn to deal with it in ways that allow them to retain functionality. These coping mechanisms are entirely absent in her - like as if she had no skin already so that even spatters of water would feel like someone dumping acid on her massive, open wound. It's terrible. It's pitiable, that part of it.

But when she turns around and starts maligning anyone who has even looked at her sideways for failing to bow to her pain, then she's not merely pitiable but utterly repulsive as well.