Waiting for Prince/Princess Charming: Unmarried Fundies 8

[fundiefan]

If I were engaged to that, I'd be running for the hills. 

I don't have kids, so I never gave advice about what to do when you can't sleep. But, I was a kid once, and was never told to think of my future spouse. Not as a teen either. Nor an adult. Nor as a divorced woman. Not once, not ever. 

Their marriage is going to be a miserable shit show that neither will ever acknowledge. 

[Aine]

40 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Their marriage is going to be a miserable shit show that neither will ever acknowledge. 

I'm still hoping that either Abigail wakes up to the awfulness that will be her life with him or she wakes up really quickly once married and gets the hell out of there. I can see him being very controlling and even abusive if she tries to flex her independence in any way during their marriage. I get the impression he is a powder keg waiting to explode the moment he finally has a wife and she does so much as disagree or think she has even a bit of autonomy. He'll see that as rejection by someone that is his.

Run, Abigail. Run.

[justmy2cents]

3 hours ago, browngrl said:

Do small children fret about their future spouse?

Apparently mine does. She's nine. Until this year she swore she would never go to sleep away camp. This year she's changed her mind. Then she asked me if she would have a boy counselor. I said 'no, there will only be girls in your bunk'. She screwed up her face and started crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she replied 'but how will I meet my future husband?' I was floored and had a hard time hiding my laughter from her.  To be fair it was late and she was really tired.

[Tangy Bee]

I really don't think Abigail knows any better. Nat is a fundamentalist Christian and that's enough for her and her parents.

[IsmeWeatherwax]

Did he actually go on a hike in a suit??!!

[EmainMacha]

11 hours ago, browngrl said:

Do small children fret about their future spouse? 

When my then 5 (now 6) year old found out that he was extremely unlikely to be able to give birth himself he became obsessed with getting married. He really wants kids. He has picked out his future wife (who he is too afraid to talk to) but is concerned that she might marry her best friend because they always hang out together. We were talking about adoption one day and he has decided that if his object of affection doesn't like him he'll adopt instead. These are the bizarre conversations my son uses to try to stay up when he should be asleep.

[Mrs Ms]

Meanwhile my 4yo told me today he doesn’t want to be a parent because “I don’t want to have to look after someone” and wanted to stay single. This evening he told our neighbour her daughter is his favourite person in the world. 

Seems my comment that being able to be coupled up and childless as a valid choice stuck... ?

[Sops2]

I love nosing in peoples' wedding registry..

How's this for a gem? Nathaniel's choice or Abigail's?

The writing on the mug says   "Owl love you forever"

[Nolongeroppressed8.4]

10 hours ago, Aine said:

I'm still hoping that either Abigail wakes up to the awfulness that will be her life with him or she wakes up really quickly once married and gets the hell out of there. I can see him being very controlling and even abusive if she tries to flex her independence in any way during their marriage. I get the impression he is a powder keg waiting to explode the moment he finally has a wife and she does so much as disagree or think she has even a bit of autonomy. He'll see that as rejection by someone that is his.

Run, Abigail. Run.

He has a volatile nature. You don’t get to see it in his carefully curated social media life or his third person writing atrocities, but my extremely close source has witnessed first hand many interesting events that one would say at best are emotional abuse and at worst border on physical abuse. Outbursts with a hand raised or something thrown. It runs in the family, too. Screaming at his mother for not getting his dry cleaning or laundry done for him, his sister for daring to wear pants in the house (that she’s allowed to but he doesn’t think she should so he gets to supersede the dad I guess). They all carefully hide their inner rages and fits but he is a pipe bomb waiting to go off. 
 

Hopefully Abigail will learn to just keep her head down, her eyes sweet and her heart submissive to his every whim and demand, ensuring that he is the only one with an opinion, a say, or the ability to do any act of thought or deed outside of the  Home. Her job is to cook, clean, do his laundry, worship his every move, and raise children. Her activist and podcasting days are over. She might be allowed to write a blog, as long as he reads, edits, and approves first. 

She may be fine if she has been raised to be stunted and stepped on. But if any part of her life has allowed her to think somehow she is equal or close to equal in the eyes of God or the law, she has another thing coming from the world of Nathaniel Darnell, J D (aka I could never achieve passing the bar but i will pretend I did)

[Sops2]

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086L1BXQT?ref_=wedding_guest_view_product_tile&colid=306REULTASD0L&coliid=I1DAPIAT7S6WSF

 

Also on their registry- a weighted blanket. It's seemingly made heavy with glass beads- will this stop her escaping from the marital bed?

[Tangy Bee]

27 minutes ago, Nolongeroppressed8.4 said:

He has a volatile nature. You don’t get to see it in his carefully curated social media life or his third person writing atrocities, but my extremely close source has witnessed first hand many interesting events that one would say at best are emotional abuse and at worst border on physical abuse. Outbursts with a hand raised or something thrown. It runs in the family, too. Screaming at his mother for not getting his dry cleaning or laundry done for him, his sister for daring to wear pants in the house (that she’s allowed to but he doesn’t think she should so he gets to supersede the dad I guess). They all carefully hide their inner rages and fits but he is a pipe bomb waiting to go off. 
 

Hopefully Abigail will learn to just keep her head down, her eyes sweet and her heart submissive to his every whim and demand, ensuring that he is the only one with an opinion, a say, or the ability to do any act of thought or deed outside of the  Home. Her job is to cook, clean, do his laundry, worship his every move, and raise children. Her activist and podcasting days are over. She might be allowed to write a blog, as long as he reads, edits, and approves first. 

She may be fine if she has been raised to be stunted and stepped on. But if any part of her life has allowed her to think somehow she is equal or close to equal in the eyes of God or the law, she has another thing coming from the world of Nathaniel Darnell, J D (aka I could never achieve passing the bar but i will pretend I did)

He might calm down once he has sex. Dude been virgin a LONG time. Then again we have some fundie guys who get a bigger ego and appear to get crazier and decide they know it all. But most of them are much younger than Nat. Fresh out of childhood. Nat is pushing 40.

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 hours ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

I love that he leads with the giant age gap. 

He probably thinks that shows he’s so great he can marry a girl 15 years his junior. When all it shows is that anyone his age can see the tons of red flags he puts out there. 

[HereticHick]

Our little niece is staying with us tonight. If she asks again about possible bears in the closet, I'll just say "Hush My Dear, Pray for Your Future Spouse"

[Nolongeroppressed8.4]

1 hour ago, Tangy Bee said:

He might calm down once he has sex. Dude been virgin a LONG time. Then again we have some fundie guys who get a bigger ego and appear to get crazier and decide they know it all. But most of them are much younger than Nat. Fresh out of childhood. Nat is pushing 40.

It usually comes out at some point in their life that they’ve been doing SOME kind of sexual activity that they’ve managed to keep secret. Look at Bradrick! and DPWIAT and the list keeps going. 

[NCLunaLovegoodFan]

2 hours ago, Nolongeroppressed8.4 said:

He has a volatile nature. You don’t get to see it in his carefully curated social media life or his third person writing atrocities, but my extremely close source has witnessed first hand many interesting events that one would say at best are emotional abuse and at worst border on physical abuse. Outbursts with a hand raised or something thrown. It runs in the family, too. Screaming at his mother for not getting his dry cleaning or laundry done for him, his sister for daring to wear pants in the house (that she’s allowed to but he doesn’t think she should so he gets to supersede the dad I guess). They all carefully hide their inner rages and fits but he is a pipe bomb waiting to go off. 
 

Hopefully Abigail will learn to just keep her head down, her eyes sweet and her heart submissive to his every whim and demand, ensuring that he is the only one with an opinion, a say, or the ability to do any act of thought or deed outside of the  Home. Her job is to cook, clean, do his laundry, worship his every move, and raise children. Her activist and podcasting days are over. She might be allowed to write a blog, as long as he reads, edits, and approves first. 

She may be fine if she has been raised to be stunted and stepped on. But if any part of her life has allowed her to think somehow she is equal or close to equal in the eyes of God or the law, she has another thing coming from the world of Nathaniel Darnell, J D (aka I could never achieve passing the bar but i will pretend I did)

I wonder if his parents were abusive. Sometimes the cycle repeats in the kids. Also, If I recall correctly, his brother Joseph had an acrimonious divorce from the mother of his kids and married another woman mere months after the split was finalized.

[JermajestyDuggar]

19 minutes ago, NCLunaLovegoodFan said:

I wonder if his parents were abusive. Sometimes the cycle repeats in the kids. Also, If I recall correctly, his brother Joseph had an acrimonious divorce from the mother of his kids and married another woman mere months after the split was finalized.

I’m pretty sure she was quite a bit younger too. 

[Nolongeroppressed8.4]

23 minutes ago, NCLunaLovegoodFan said:

I wonder if his parents were abusive. Sometimes the cycle repeats in the kids. Also, If I recall correctly, his brother Joseph had an acrimonious divorce from the mother of his kids and married another woman mere months after the split was finalized.

The Mom is rather soft hearted and passive but verbally and emotionally manipulative.

Dad is very quiet to the outside world but I’ve heard he can and did often get very angry on a dime for minor infractions, raging and breaking things, forbidding contact with friends, etc. Given the world they occupy, highly likely that abuse would have been hidden as “discipline” through the form of spankings. Probably WELL into their teen years. Screaming matches for hours on end without resolution are also often common. 

Often times you’ll see other somewhat passive aggressive type abuses — promises unkept; agreements broken; events canceled last minute.

EG I heard the younger sister was forbidden to “homeschool” graduate with her friends in a group party/celebration because though she had completed the many strict requirements placed by her dad (requirements outside of those academically necessary to be considered graduated), at the last minute he took back his promise in order to “teach her submission.” So the 18 year old was denied even the slight informal recognition of graduation as a homeschooler by not being permitted to be a part of the group celebration even though she did everything she was told to do in order to be allowed to do so. 

Even worse, sending kids off to ATI/IBLP prison camps — something they did to the second son Joseph — where he was subjected to abuses that would be considered inappropriate for war criminals: forced free labor while simultaneously being sleep deprived, untrained but expected to carry out dangerous jobs reserved generally for licensed individuals such as roofing multi-storied buildings, spiritual haranguing, etc.

Apples never fall far from the tree, IMO unless they decide to stop being apples all together. 

3 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m pretty sure she was quite a bit younger too. 

No actually, Joseph’s Ex wife was a year or so older than Joseph. I think they may have decided that was one fault of hers originally but then he goes and married the new girl who is even older than his ex. Guess they realized it was the difference between a girl who thought for herself and one who doesn’t. ?

[NCLunaLovegoodFan]

24 minutes ago, Nolongeroppressed8.4 said:

The Mom is rather soft hearted and passive but verbally and emotionally manipulative.

Dad is very quiet to the outside world but I’ve heard he can and did often get very angry on a dime for minor infractions, raging and breaking things, forbidding contact with friends, etc. Given the world they occupy, highly likely that abuse would have been hidden as “discipline” through the form of spankings. Probably WELL into their teen years. Screaming matches for hours on end without resolution are also often common. 

Often times you’ll see other somewhat passive aggressive type abuses — promises unkept; agreements broken; events canceled last minute.

EG I heard the younger sister was forbidden to “homeschool” graduate with her friends in a group party/celebration because though she had completed the many strict requirements placed by her dad (requirements outside of those academically necessary to be considered graduated), at the last minute he took back his promise in order to “teach her submission.” So the 18 year old was denied even the slight informal recognition of graduation as a homeschooler by not being permitted to be a part of the group celebration even though she did everything she was told to do in order to be allowed to do so. 

Even worse, sending kids off to ATI/IBLP prison camps — something they did to the second son Joseph — where he was subjected to abuses that would be considered inappropriate for war criminals: forced free labor while simultaneously being sleep deprived, untrained but expected to carry out dangerous jobs reserved generally for licensed individuals such as roofing multi-storied buildings, spiritual haranguing, etc.

Apples never fall far from the tree, IMO unless they decide to stop being apples all together. 

No actually, Joseph’s Ex wife was a year or so older than Joseph. I think they may have decided that was one fault of hers originally but then he goes and married the new girl who is even older than his ex. Guess they realized it was the difference between a girl who thought for herself and one who doesn’t. ?

What a messed up family. Was Joseph sent to ALERT? I recall that some of the Duggar sons ( Josiah in particular) were sent to stifle any sort of free thinking.

I’m heartbroken for the daughter. I hope sooner or later, she’ll escape. I won’t hold my breath, however.

[EyesOpen]

Girl (Abigail), run!

[Nolongeroppressed8.4]

1 hour ago, NCLunaLovegoodFan said:

What a messed up family. Was Joseph sent to ALERT? I recall that some of the Duggar sons ( Josiah in particular) were sent to stifle any sort of free thinking.

I’m heartbroken for the daughter. I hope sooner or later, she’ll escape. I won’t hold my breath, however.

No Joseph was sent to "Integrity," the "construction" program run by a Scott (?) Walker who fits your typical mall cop/drill sergeant psychological profile. 

 

10 or so guys sent to work in this 6 month long program, ages 17-22 approx. - none of them trained or experienced in any way - to work on the construction needs of various "training centers." Northwoods they were on 4-5 story buildings roofing for hours, excessive sunburn due to no sunscreen, nail gunning their fingers to the roof with no medical care provided; in Little Rock they demolished the interior of an ancient hospital (possibly exposed to black mold, even asbestos) with no protective gear. They start work at 6am and go til 5pm with a minor break for lunch which is served by the girls who work at the training centers but even saying thank you for being served food is frowned upon and later they'll be drug in to be reprimanded for doing so (you know, because it's wrong for boys to talk to girls even if it's just to say thank you). They would have several hours of "devotions" in the evenings and then the "troubled ones" would be kept up til all hours of the night, even 2am being harangued and pressured into making spiritual commitments or retractions of past sins, etc. and then 6am up on the roof again. Not allowed to have communication with outside world, even parents (only the dad can schedule to speak with the son). It is absolutely WRONG, and to top it all off the parents PAY for their "room and board" and then the GROWN ADULTS sent there are doing FREE LABOR for the organization. Biggest scam in the world. 

Rabbit hole: https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/04/a-long-nights-journey-through-the-iblp-system/

[FaithAndReason]

On 6/4/2020 at 4:59 PM, NCLunaLovegoodFan said:

https://www.weddingwire.us/website/nathaniel-darnell-and-abigail-cochran
 

Natty Darnell posted his courtship story. It is...something. 

Holy Wow. That is all I can say.

13 hours ago, IsmeWeatherwax said:

Did he actually go on a hike in a suit??!!

No, if you look at their "photos" section of the wedding site, he's in flannel and jeans? or dark pants?  The photos of him looking like an old man kidnapping a child by chasing her around a tree are from a later photo shoot. <----sorry if that offends, but that's all I see every time I see those pictures.

In other news, "we" might have a little Natty Jr a year from now! 

Edited June 6, 2020 by FaithAndReason

[JermajestyDuggar]

17 minutes ago, FaithAndReason said:

In other news, "we" might have a little Natty Jr a year from now! 

I’m expecting him to be born with a full head of helmet hair. 

[albireo]

From Sharia Hale's IG, it looks like one of the Hales got married yesterday. 

[albireo]

7 hours ago, albireo said:

From Sharia Hale's IG, it looks like one of the Hales got married yesterday. 

Update: I went through Facebook. His name is Leonard Zimmerman and her name is Rebecca. There isn't a (born-in) Rebecca Hale, so I wonder if one of the younger daughters changed her name.

Edit: she's definitely a Hale. I wonder who she is.

Edited June 8, 2020 by albireo

[Maggie Mae]

2 hours ago, albireo said:

Update: I went through Facebook. His name is Leonard Zimmerman and her name is Rebecca. There isn't a (born-in) Rebecca Hale, so I wonder if one of the younger daughters changed her name.

Edit: she's definitely a Hale. I wonder who she is.

Looks like she changed her name from Lamb Yukon. Here's a screen shot from an unrelated case in CourtView