Dillards 34: Finding Contentment

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

25 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

I don't think they believe that women will ever want sex.  But no, in general they don't think husbands have to fulfill any needs of a wife, why would sex be special?

Are we talking about the Duggars here or fundies in general?

[justoneoftwo]

Just now, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

Are we talking about the Duggars here or fundies in general?

In general, and the Pearls.  If you read the reviews of the book it included a women who was threatened by a butcher knife by her husband, and was told not to leave.  Clearly wives don't have the right to make any demands, including don't stab me.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

9 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

In general, and the Pearls.  If you read the reviews of the book it included a women who was threatened by a butcher knife by her husband, and was told not to leave.  Clearly wives don't have the right to make any demands, including don't stab me.

The Pearls are reprehensible nutjobs. There's no general fundie teaching that women can never say no to sex. There's also no general teaching that husband's don't need to meet any of their wives' needs. Biblically, both husbands and wives are called not to withhold their bodies from one another for extended periods of time except in agreement. 

[JesusCampSongs]

12 hours ago, Gillyweed said:

If both Jill and Sam are still in the hospital, or even if they both went home a couple of days ago, how are they paying for their stay? Do they have insurance? 

It's possible they have some kind of insurance, and it's also possible that Medicaid is picking up the tab. Hospitals have the ability to auto-enroll all laboring women and newborn babies in Medicaid if they would have met income guidelines during the pregnancy (when most people enroll, but Jill doesn't do prenatal care) and retro it to cover all the expenses incurred during the delivery and whatever post-partum services mom & baby needed. I'm also not sure if they need parental consent to do this. 

So, while the Duggars are really big on the whole not needing or using government assistance, they are also giant hypocrites and can't always be trusted to be truthful about such matters. And the Dillards may not get a vote when it comes to the hospital getting paid. 

[luxfilia]

3 hours ago, BlessaYourHeart said:

This might be a stupid question. There's a lot from the Pearls about women being in M'boobs words 'joyfully available' to their husbands. 

However, it just crossed my mind about it being the other way around. If a woman wants sex and the man is too tired or having a bad day does he have to submit to fulfil his wife's needs? 

See, I was raised in a church that was what most here would call some form of fundie. The 1 Cor. 7:5 verse about "not depriving each other" was always portrayed just like that: that you should consider each other's desires, not just the woman considering the man's. It's weird to me when some fundies ignore that it's spelled out there for them in their dear KJV translation and everything; if you can deprive each other, then both people most have a sexual desire to be deprived of. The idea that only a man is a (physically) sexually being is not even a biblical idea. They sure like to add even MORE restrictions on themselves and especially on women than even existed in my own past "fundie" church/understanding of the Bible. KJV: "Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." (Whoa, even women can be tempted sexually? Who knew? lol)

ETA: Sorry, I thought I was reading the most recent page and didn't realize this had already been addressed. I'll leave my comment, though, because I think the King James version quote is relevant.

[SorenaJ]

The Pearls make me want to bang my head repeatedly against a wall until it falls off.

[HarleyQuinn]

^Yep. "Whoops, I had sex with my wife so much our honeymoon that she forgot to eat and passed out. SILLY WOMAN!"

I hate them so much. 

[Hmmm_idolatry]

15 hours ago, FeministFunPolice said:

I think they probably have regular health insurance but they might also have that weird fake insurance Samaritan Care. I remember Zsuzsu posting about instead of regular insurance. 

Would it be possible that they have health insurance through TLC?  I don't know how that works with respect to reality TV stars, but I do wonder if TLC provides health insurance to them through their employee plan. 

[JenniferJuniper]

2 minutes ago, Hmmm_idolatry said:

Would it be possible that they have health insurance through TLC?  I don't know how that works with respect to reality TV stars, but I do wonder if TLC provides health insurance to them through their employee plan. 

Not likely.  They aren't actual employees but instead have contracts with TLC.

I'm sure JB has insurance for everyone under his control and umbrella of protection, although he's wealthy enough to get away with high deductible, major policies.  The married folks sans Josh probably have to reimburse him the premium through their TLC money.  Who knows what the financial agreement is with Josh.

[SilverBeach]

13 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

 

I'm sure JB has insurance for everyone under his control and umbrella of protection, although he's wealthy enough to get away with high deductible, major policies.  The married folks sans Josh probably have to reimburse him the premium through their TLC money.  Who knows what the financial agreement is with Josh.

JB could not insure all these folks under a policy he purchased, insurers would not allow it. You cannot insure spouses of children, under 26 or not, or grandchildren unless you have custody or there is a court order to do so for some other reason. 

 He could of course reimburse the adults for the premiums they pay for their own policies. 

[xlurker]

Or possibly have a group plan and insure everyone (of the adults) as employees

 

[JenniferJuniper]

4 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

JB could not insure all these folks under a policy he purchased, insurers would not allow it. You cannot insure spouses of children, under 26 or not, or grandchildren unless you have custody or there is a court order to do so for some other reason. 

 He could of course reimburse the adults for the premiums they pay for their own policies. 

No, I don't mean he buys one policy.  I mean he likely makes sure everyone who is "working" for him on his TLC replacement show is covered and whoever manages his fiances is probably reimbursed by them directly through their TLC earnings.  Of course, this would not be the case for Josh (who probably isn't making shit and isn't part of the empire anymore) and I wonder if he bothers to insure anyone over 26 and still at home.  They aren't making babies so the odds of them needing major medical coverage are much lower. 

[nastyhobbitses]

16 hours ago, season of life said:

My blood pressure rises whenever people, especially women, dump on women for not having sex with their partners. 

I can understand ending a relationship or not wanting to pursue a relationship with someone who isn't really on the same wavelength with you sexually -- I know that as a person who really enjoys sex, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who wouldn't want to have sex until marriage, or someone who didn't want to have sex at all -- but there's a kind and understanding way to do that (or discuss it within a relationship), without shaming a person for simply having different sexual priorities and desires.

[CoveredInBees]

I'm wandering in late again, I did actually google as we were heading to the Harry Potter studios on Sunday to see the birth announcement, but I'm afraid my rubbish phone isn't up to posting on forums so I've had to wait to get home for the full gossip on these silly muggles   

I hope after this one they settle for elective c-sections, or at the very least have some decent prenatal advice/monitoring.

Boring and probably stupid insurance question: If you make more claims I'm assuming your annual premiums go up? Does that include childbirth? so every time you have a child the price you pay rises? especially if you have more complicated births?

[SapphireSlytherin]

@CoveredInBees -We are going to the studios in September. Did you take the shuttle bus from Watford Junction? I'm really curious how that works!

/back on topic now

[CoveredInBees]

1 minute ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

@CoveredInBees -We are going to the studios in September. Did you take the shuttle bus from Watford Junction? I'm really curious how that works!

/back on topic now

We drove from 'up north' (midlands  ) so we didn't take it, we braved the M25 instead. We saw it though (we were early so we hung about eating ham sandwiches before we went in) it's clearly the HP bus (big purple, huge pic of Harry Potter on the side) and it was coming and going on a very regular basis. 

Take money  the shop is AMAZING! (So is the rest of it, but I have a mug shaped like a cauldron now)  

[SapphireSlytherin]

@CoveredInBees Lol - all of our friends have driven in! We stay in Kensington / Notting Hill when we're in London, so we'll be taking the Oveground. I've spent gobs of money at the Orlando Harry Potter theme park (you MUST GO!).

Cauldron-shaped mug is on my list.

[pook]

22 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

@sparklymagie A c section is easier when you're prepared, and haven't been in labor. It's amazing how fast your body heals, and how much better you feel each day. Don't be afraid to use pain meds when you need them. Of course, this was my experience with Wolf 2. Not saying it applies to everyone.

Driving by to add that I had a horrendous vaginal birth with my first mini Pook, even though I had the best care from my L&D colleagues and friends I worked as a nurse on the same unit.  I was induced for pre-eclampsia and it took a SEVERELY long time ending with a vacuum assisted delivery following two 2 hour sessions of pushing, borderline HELLP syndrome, and significantly elevated BP (as high as 215/110 - my head felt like it was going to blow off) for weeks after he was born.  I also broke my tail bone, had a second degree tear and was in bed for 2 weeks on diuretics and anti-hypertensive meds (really I should have stayed in hospital on mag sulf protocol).  Breastfeeding was a disaster and I pumped and pumped because the little 6 pound dude wouldn't latch for the fist 8 weeks.  Fast forward to second mini Pook who was induced at 38 weeks (a week earlier than #1) also for pre-eclampsia, which was not as severe, but they didn't want to mess around given the circumstances of my first delivery.  The induction went beautifully and we started pushing after 12 hours.  Baby Pook #2 ended up being 2 pounds heavier and too big for me so I ended up with a C-section.  Recovery was a walk in the park the second time and not only that but the little dude latched on to my breast in the recovery room and pretty much didn't come off for 15 months, when he went straight to drinking from a cup.  He weighed 18 lbs before his 3 month-a-versary.  @sparklymagie You are going to do great and will be just fine!  HUGS!

[evolutionbaby]

3 hours ago, JenniferJuniper said:

Of course, this would not be the case for Josh (who probably isn't making shit and isn't part of the empire anymore)

There are ways around this. I think that if everyone is a "Duggar Family Entertainment" employee then he can get a group health plan. Anna could be the carrier for her family, as she appears on the show, with Josh listed as the spouse. Or they could give Josh an "administrative" or "management" position.

I'm sure everyone is adequately insured, the unmarried adults may have a basic plan that covers accidents/emergencies.

[Beermeet]

23 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

The worst part about that link to Libby Anne's blog is the link within the link to Debi Pearl's own words. 

Yeah, that was worse.  I blame you for pointing that out for me to read. J/k : ) me!

[BlackberryGirl]

our insurance is getting a real workout these days. BlackberryBoy and i both got cataract surgery this summer, I had a pacemaker put in  for my birthday last year, 2 years ago i had HUGE complicated abdominal surgery.  We both are on permanent maintenance medications. Our rates haven't changed in quite a while. We have a really good plan through his school district. 15 years ago I had major heart issues, they thought I would need a transplant.  There is a lifetime cap. but we are no where near that, and probably never will be. I can only speak for us, our rates dont go up because we are having more  stuff. when we were having babies, 34-39 years ago  we didnt get charged higher rates, but the newborn coverage sucked.

 

[Flippp]

Insurnace preumiums go up or down if your coverage changes, such as you didn't have dental benefits and you decided to add them, or if you add more people onto your plan. 

[LKUK]

All this talk of insurance makes me incredible grateful once again for the NHS, it isn't perfect but there has never been a fear that I or anyone I care about couldn't receive treatment because of lack of funds or insurance.

[Kjaerringa]

Ok. It's Saturday. People's big scoop is JinJer's date. We have ONE picture of Jill, looking frail but very loving. Sam's got jaundice and a few other things possibly going on...but we have tons of photos of him. Something happened, and it happened to Jill. I feel just terrible for her....even though we could ALL see the danger. And....remember that aneurysm?? That's another worry. I just hope she gets REAL support.

I just want to go on down there and tell her what I believe: Girl, you are not being punished for sin in your life. God DID NOT do this to you. He DOESN'T DO THAT. It happened due to physical reasons. Now. We are given gifts and knowledge for a reason and He expects us to use our heads. A good doc IS a gift from God, not a creature from the pit of Hell. And now that you really know that... (because my assumption is that is why she is alive) you can understand that moving forward, doctors and counselors can help. Listen to the collective wisdom of modern medecine. Do, oh, please DO stop berating yourself for not believing enough, or being too sinful. You are a beloved child of God and He expects you to use YOUR brain, not the Pearls', or IBLT staff...including the 'rents. When people tell you to not trust any doc and just trust Jesus ' healing....that's not godly. Remember Jesus in the desert and how Satan tempted him to do things so God would rescue him? Yeah. That's what they are doing to you. Not good, huh? Now, let me fluff your pillows. What color jello would you like tonight, dear?

That is what I SO want to do. But I don't think I could infiltrate as a 57 year old Candy Striper, so I'll just have to give that dream up.

[Kleine Vampirin]

5 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I've spent gobs of money at the Orlando Harry Potter theme park (you MUST GO!).

Cauldron-shaped mug is on my list.

Ravenpuff here and there theme park is on my bucket list!