Dillards 34: Finding Contentment

[MoonFace]

6 hours ago, BabyBottlePop said:

I'm assuming they had it when Derrick worked for Walmart but I'm sure not now. Maybe JB paid it for out of his own pocket? Jill is too old to be on his insurance still, I'm assuming. 

I feel like the homebirth thing is done in part to save money. Some of those quiverfil people who are actually struggling on one income probably don't want to have to pay a hospital bill if they don't have to. Jill is lucky she has Daddy and leghumpers galore. 

Derrick hasn't work for Walmart for a long time, has he?  Unless he is working a bit while on vacation leave from his missionary work vacation from SCA. 

Wouldn't they have to have medical coverage because of the ACA/Obamacare?   

[justoneoftwo]

3 minutes ago, MoonFace said:

Derrick hasn't work for Walmart for a long time, has he?  Unless he is working a bit while on vacation leave from his missionary work vacation from SCA. 

Wouldn't they have to have medical coverage because of the ACA/Obamacare?   

They could chose to pay the penalty instead. Given that she was pregnant it would be an odd choice though.  

[breakfree]

1 minute ago, MoonFace said:

Derrick hasn't work for Walmart for a long time, has he?  Unless he is working a bit while on vacation leave from his missionary work vacation from SCA. 

Wouldn't they have to have medical coverage because of the ACA/Obamacare?   

Not necessarily. They could just be paying the tax penalty, or they could have figured out a way to get themselves one of the exceptions to the tax penalty. Being out of the country for more than X days will do it but I don't think they hit that many days so it might have to be something else- probably that they don't make enough money, which will I believe also exempt you, though I'd love to see the creative math there.

It's also wholly possible that they do have insurance though. To be honest I'm surprised so many people seem to think it's likely they don't. I don't get the impression that they or the Duggars at large are opposed to necessary medical care, though their version of necessary is a bit different than mine. I mean Cathy had chemo, D-wreck had major dental surgery, and however long they waited Jill did end up in a hospital and get a c-section instead of just dying in childbirth not once but twice. I'd be willing to bet some money that they have some insurance somehow. Probably with money that was supposed to go toward their missionary work actually, it's not such a huge problem to solve given their policy of zero accountability regarding where that money goes.

[justoneoftwo]

2 minutes ago, breakfree said:

Not necessarily. They could just be paying the tax penalty, or they could have figured out a way to get themselves one of the exceptions to the tax penalty. Being out of the country for more than X days will do it but I don't think they hit that many days so it might have to be something else- probably that they don't make enough money, which will I believe also exempt you, though I'd love to see the creative math there.

It's also wholly possible that they do have insurance though. To be honest I'm surprised so many people seem to think it's likely they don't. I don't get the impression that they or the Duggars at large are opposed to necessary medical care, though their version of necessary is a bit different than mine. I mean Cathy had chemo, D-wreck had major dental surgery, and however long they waited Jill did end up in a hospital and get a c-section instead of just dying in childbirth not once but twice. I'd be willing to bet some money that they have some insurance somehow. Probably with money that was supposed to go toward their missionary work actually, it's not such a huge problem to solve given their policy of zero accountability regarding where that money goes.

Many fundis seem to think that having insurance means you don't trust g-d. I don't know if they are among them, but it does seem to be thing.  It might also be more for life insurance . . . 

[Coconut Flan]

I seem to remember in the list of things the donations were to cover was their insurance.  If you're grifting for the money, they might as well get health insurance with it.

[ClaraOswin]

6 hours ago, sparklymagie said:

Thanks for all the reassurance.  My logic knows all this and that a c- section is my best choice, but my emotions are starting to knock on the door and say "you know, voluntary major surgery is pretty scary. "

For reasons I can't articulate, I'm also kind of sad at the thought of not going through labor (the c- section will be scheduled, obviously). I have no idea why, its not like labor is particularly pleasant, but I keep thinking I'll miss the anticipation  and build -up. Ehh, I don't  know. 

I have one child. My c-section was scheduled a few days in advance. I never went into labor. Never felt a true contraction. That morning on the monitor they said I was having them but I didn't really feel it. Maybe some tightening but that was it. So I never had actual labor pain. Never pushed. Etc. At first, I was sad about this. Well...for maybe 1 minute. Ha! In the end, I was okay with it. My c-section went fine. No complications. If I were going to have anymore kids (I'm not) I would have had a scheduled c-section.

[adidas]

8 hours ago, sparklymagie said:

Now I'm pregnant with my second and my doctor has HIGHLY recommended a c- section because if I tear again it might be worse.  Knowing I face a c- section has made reading here the past few days difficult with all of the dire stories and speculation about what happened to Jill.  

Please remember that Jill laboured for 40 hours before her c-section. If you schedule a c-section it won't be like that for you!

[WhyNotJulie]

Sometimes I think Jill could use a refresher on the Parable of the Flood....

"A man was trapped in his house during a flood. He began praying to God to rescue him. He had a vision in his head of God’s hand reaching down from heaven and lifting him to safety. The water started to rise in his house. His neighbour urged him to leave and offered him a ride to safety. The man yelled back, “I am waiting for God to save me.” The neighbour drove off in his pick-up truck.

The man continued to pray and hold on to his vision. As the water began rising in his house, he had to climb up to the roof. A boat came by with some people heading for safe ground. They yelled at the man to grab a rope they were ready to throw and take him to safety. He told them that he was waiting for God to save him. They shook their heads and moved on.

The man continued to pray, believing with all his heart that he would be saved by God. The flood waters continued to rise. A helicopter flew by and a voice came over a loudspeaker offering to lower a ladder and take him off the roof. The man waved the helicopter away, shouting back that he was waiting for God to save him. The helicopter left. The flooding water came over the roof and caught him up and swept him away. He drowned.

When he reached heaven, he asked, “God, why did you not save me? I believed in you with all my heart. Why did you let me drown?”

God replied, “I sent you a pick-up truck, a boat and a helicopter and you refused all of them. What did you expect????”

[freethemall]

6 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Yeah but would the Duggars actually want Obamacare? After all, Obama started it *the horror!*

I hope they have some type of insurance but for some reason I doubt it. 

Obamacare in that case means laws that apply to all insurance policies, such as allowing children under 26.

I somehow wouldn't be surprised if all the Duggars go without insurance.

[breakfree]

41 minutes ago, freethemall said:

Obamacare in that case means laws that apply to all insurance policies, such as allowing children under 26.

I somehow wouldn't be surprised if all the Duggars go without insurance.

JB has confirmed in the past that he had it (health insurance). One place where he confirmed it was in his and Michele's book The Duggars: 20 and Counting!: Raising One of America's Largest Families. I think somewhere else he even said that with that many kids and a wife who was having more kids it would be plain foolish not to have any. Granted this was some time ago, but I don't have any reason to think his position on it changed. Their view on doctors broadly seems to be that God put doctors there for when we truly need them. We've heard them pray at least twice thanking God for doctors, once around Josie's birth I think and once when Josh was praying aloud with the whole family before Jill's first c-section.  We've seen them call ambulances relatively quickly and prudently when it was obviously  necessary (Josie's seizure, when Jessa was bleeding too much after Spurgie's birth). We've seen Michelle see doctors for her later pregnancies, on a regular basis.

Now, granted, D-wreck seems like his own special brand of crazy clueless mess. It's possible he has different views than JB on this issue, for sure. And it's also possible JB's own views have changed. But I don't think we really have any reason to think JB and those under his 'umbrella' are not insured based on what we've seen and what he's said outright.

[PumaLover]

"Sexytimes" and "Duggars" are two words that should never, ever be used in the same sentence. 

This made me laugh so hard and I just had to post this.

Spoiler

Also this and the other thread have been so fascinating to me as someone who has never been pregnant or given birth. I never wanted to and got my tubes tied years ago. Then we ended up adopting an 11 year old!

As others have said, I also hope Jill and baby Sammy are doing well. I did love how much emotion that photo of all three of them expressed.

[Jinder Roles]

5 hours ago, SamiKatz said:

I really disagree with this line of thinking with regard to anyone living a public life.  This kind of reasoning makes what happened to Leslie Jones re her nude photos being leaked, and the ensuing harassment all okay because she chose to go onto TV.  This is also what makes people think it's okay that Jill, Jessa, Joy and Jinger were publically exposed as the victims of Josh's abuse - because they (or their parents), chose to appear on a reality TV show.

This is of course, my opinion only and you are entitled to yours as well.

 

I feel like this is a conflation.

Speculation because of being the public eye and harassment (sexual or otherwise) are two different things.

There are laws against leaking nude photos  without consent. Celebrities aren't the only victims of this. It seems a bigger deal with celebrities because more people know.

The reason the Duggar girls were revealed as Josh's victims of as because InTouch requested redacted police reports and the request was granted. It was not leaked.

When you are in the public eye, there is a certain amount of speculation/interest/dissent that will follow. It happens with non-celebrities as well (just in smaller circles/privately because of less interest and information). It's not illegal to speculate. It is illegal to stalk, harass, threaten and leak private information without any consent or law giving you the go-ahead.

People are free to speculate (within reason). Individuals decide for themselves what they feel is appropriate to speculate on within the rules/law.

 

[ThunderRolls]

2 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

The worst part about that link to Libby Anne's blog is the link within the link to Debi Pearl's own words. 

Ugh, so I went back and read Debi's excerpts. That was a mistake! Way worse than anything Michelle has ever written. 

These 2 passages stuck out: "Don’t talk to me about menopause; I know all about menopause, and it is a lame excuse. Don’t talk to me about how uncomfortable or painful it is for you. Do you think your body is special and has special needs? Do you know who created you, and do you know he is the same God who expects you to freely give sex to your husband? Stop the excuses!"

"For a wife to defraud her husband of this vital need that God has instilled in him should cause her to tremble in fear of the consequences. And remember, his entire ego is tied up in this sexual experience."

What a creepy old bitch.

[Greendoor]

3 hours ago, Buzzard said:

Whats wrong with saturday night?

I think likely it was truer in the old days before modern medical advances that...

Boys are never more likely to live than girls.  You want a short window as this one may die and you'll need a replacement.  40 days.

Girly have always been more likely to survive.  You can have a longer window as replacement is not a likely to be needed.  80 days.

[Rachel333]

I find "sexytimes" in general to be a really cringey, juvenile phrase.

[FeministFunPolice]

I think they probably have regular health insurance but they might also have that weird fake insurance Samaritan Care. I remember Zsuzsu posting about instead of regular insurance. 

[Four is Enough]

I find it insulting to both of us, but especially to him) to think that my husband's entire ego is tied up in a sexual experience. Good God, he is so much more than a penis seeking entry.

[Flippp]

20 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

This is likely unpopular opinion, but I actually prefer the photos they shared to highly stylized and posed ones. Even if they aren't as "pretty" or if they're grainy. The expressions on their faces here are just so natural - Derick's smile is genuine and Jill is looking at Samuel with such tender love on her face. 

As for the quality - the photos they share that are grainy tend to be photos that:

- are taken with a front facing camera setting (thus happens with my phone)

or

- have bad lighting for whatever reason. 

They probably just choose the photos where everyone looks passable and call it a day.  

Or whoever took the picture used zoom. I know whenever I zoom in too much the picture gets super grainy. Plus older iPhone camera's don't have the best lenses.

[justoneoftwo]

3 hours ago, ThunderRolls said:

 Don’t talk to me about how uncomfortable or painful it is for you. Do you think your body is special and has special needs? Do you know who created you, and do you know he is the same God who expects you to freely give sex to your husband? Stop the excuses!"

Is it just me or does this sound like she has huge pain?  I know thats not really what she is saying but whenever someone says "don't talk to me about X" I hear it in that tone that says I have it so much worse than you.

[foreign fundie]

4 hours ago, ThunderRolls said:

Ugh, so I went back and read Debi's excerpts. That was a mistake! 2 passages stuck out: 

"For a wife to defraud her husband of this vital need that God has instilled in him should cause her to tremble in fear of the consequences. And remember, his entire ego is tied up in this sexual experience."

What a creepy old bitch.

If the entire ego of men is tied up in sexual experiences, then it is cruel, unreasonable and ungodly to require celibacy of single men, widowers and gays. What about their ego then?

But since the Bible has a clear place for and a high view of celibacy this cannot be so. Jesus was unmarried and celibate. And he seemed to have no problem with his ego. 

Now it may be true that in Mr Pearl's whole ego is tied up in sex, and that Debbi trembles thinking of the consequences of saying no to him. But that's not because he's a man but because he's a creep.

[SapphireSlytherin]

48 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

I find "sexytimes" in general to be a really cringey, juvenile phrase.

There's always Funky Town (a la the Bravermans).

[season of life]

My blood pressure rises whenever people, especially women, dump on women for not having sex with their partners. 

[BlessaYourHeart]

1 hour ago, ThunderRolls said:

Snip

'Don’t talk to me about menopause; I know all about menopause, and it is a lame excuse. Don’t talk to me about how uncomfortable or painful it is for you. Do you think your body is special and has special needs? Do you know who created you, and do you know he is the same God who expects you to freely give sex to your husband? Stop the excuses!"

"For a wife to defraud her husband of this vital need that God has instilled in him should cause her to tremble in fear of the consequences. And remember, his entire ego is tied up in this sexual experience."

Snip

This might be a stupid question. There's a lot from the Pearls about women being in M'boobs words 'joyfully available' to their husbands. 

However, it just crossed my mind about it being the other way around. If a woman wants sex and the man is too tired or having a bad day does he have to submit to fulfil his wife's needs? 

[fluffernutter]

13 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

There's always Funky Town (a la the Bravermans).

I love Parenthood! One of my favorite shows ever. And Adam and Chrstine were my favorite couple too. 

[justoneoftwo]

22 minutes ago, BlessaYourHeart said:

This might be a stupid question. There's a lot from the Pearls about women being in M'boobs words 'joyfully available' to their husbands. 

However, it just crossed my mind about it being the other way around. If a woman wants sex and the man is too tired or having a bad day does he have to submit to fulfil his wife's needs? 

I don't think they believe that women will ever want sex.  But no, in general they don't think husbands have to fulfill any needs of a wife, why would sex be special?