Dillards 34: Finding Contentment

[Mr. Pink]

I was discharged four days after my emergency c-section and then remained in the hospital as my baby's guest until he was discharged. After that, I didn't care to stay in hospitals any longer than I absolutely had to and left the second they would let me with my next c-section. I didn't attempt a VBAC, I was never in labor and I left the hospital 48 hours after I had checked in.

[Paigerin2]

I have to say when I had all three of my kids- we took tons of pics of baby but I wanted very few of myself as I looked horrible. In hindsight, I wish I had a few more. I guess That is why I wouldn't find it that odd that they have only posted one of Jill. However, because it's the Duggars and the way they are ....I'm shocked we haven't had the precious family of four pic. I also wish we knew if these pics were taken today or she is home and just posting them now. Which could very well be the case.

[Greendoor]

I had my son by emergency c-seciton on a Tuesday morning.  I wanted to go home Wednesday morning.  They didn't let me go home (no husband or supporting other, just me) until the Friday morning. 

I was given to understand that if I had help (ie my husband at home), I could have left Thursday.

 

[NotQuiteMotY]

4 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

My understanding from friends is that if your baby is in the NICU but YOU don't need care they will kick you out.  In theory I understand, in practice thats just cruel.  They should have rooms set aside for parents.  I also think they should have beds in maternity rooms for dad's to sleep in.

I think it depends on the hospital's facilities. The hospital I had Little NQ at was recently built with a family-focused maternity wing. When we were looking at the possibility of him staying but me checking out, the nurses said that they would usually let the parents stay "unofficially" in their hospital room if no one else needed it, if not in the small room set aside specifically for parents of NICU babies. (My husband would agree with you on the bed; apparently the convertible couch was, well, a convertible couch.)

I do hope that picture of the three of them is just bad lighting. Jill looks pretty washed out in it. The idea that she's wearing make-up, eh. Some people just have naturally thick lashes and even if she doesn't the low lighting may be casting a shadow. I'm not speculating on the position/clothing/etc. because frankly the woman just had a c-section after a long labor and if she's sitting up and holding the baby, especially if that shot's a few days old, then she's doing well.

I'm of the opinion that that "weird thing" is Derick's arm hyperextended with maybe a bad angle.

[adidas]

I think (?) that's actually Derick's *right* elbow, hyperextended. If you look at the original photo on the website it shows his other arm as well. His left hand is pointed towards the right arm. 

As for babies, I spent 7 nights in the birthing centre after my first. My second was born a bit before 8pm and I'd been given the all clear to go home before breakfast the next morning. 

My cousin had her baby at midnight and was home for breakfast with a surprise for her kids, who she'd tucked into bed the night before, before going into  labour. So sweet. But same as a PP - midwife visits at home for the first 6 weeks. 

This is in Australia. 

Hope this works. I've never posted a photo before. 

And, tbh, I think this could my favourite photo of Derick ever. He is clearly smitten. 

[Paigerin2]

I'm sure this has been discussed but what do you think the Duggars Stance on PP depression is? Sure I know that they are supposed to be content and keep sweet but PP depression is nothing to just fluff over and is something Jill or any other duggar girl could not really control. How would that be handled if they just couldn't be joyful? Would meds be acceptable.

[Momof2]

 Long time lurker, had to sign up to comment on all the c-section talk. I've had 2 c-sections in the past 5 years, first baby was whisked off the the NICU (turned out to be an overreaction to his non-emergency situation misdiagnosed in utero).  They decided to take him to the NICU before my surgery. I got to hold him for a couple minutes while they stitched me up then he was gone with my hubby in tow and I went to recovery on my own. Because I had no feeling in my legs for several hours from the CS, I couldn't get to the baby.  Until you can get out of bed and into a wheelchair, catheter still in place, and get wheeled to the NICU, you don't get to see your baby. I pushed through it and was there fast, and made the trek every couple hours to nurse. I agree with the previous poster that said Jill is looking at the baby like it's the first time she has seen him or perhaps the first time in a few hours. Dwreck looks happy that she's with Sam. 

My second comment relates to VBACs. I strongly considered one with my second. My doctor said that I was a good candidate because my first CS was not due to my body not responding to labor, but elective because of my baby's (mis)diagnosis in utero. Not the case with Jill. My doctor also would only allow a trial of labor under the following conditions... it happened before I hit 39 weeks and the baby was not measuring large. The She also said that labor would have to progress very quickly. All of these are for one reason... they greatly increase the risk of rupturing the uterus. The area where the prior CS scar is can be thin and too much pressure can cause rupture. This is dangerous and potentially deadly to both mom and baby and could certainly cause complications for both.  This (and the fact that my first baby was over 8 lbs) was enough to convince me to stick with what I know and get the repeat CS.  

While I certainly hope that nothing went wrong with Jill, she certainly had every single risk factor that I was warned about.  

Regarding her arm position in the photo. I had several nightgown type clothes like what she appears to be wearing. They have clips on the front of the strap right where her hand is to fold down the front of the top for nursing. I was constantly fiddling with them. The clothing is totally normal attire for the first month let alone in the hospital. 

[unicorncastle]

My goodness! You just can't please some people, can you? First, everyone was up in arms that they weren't posting any pictures and now all people can do is make crazy, ridiculous assumptions and critique the quality, angles, and lighting?! I think everyone looks fine. Jill looks like she's absolutely in love with her new son. She also looks like she just had major surgery, oh wait, because she did. I really would love for some of you to share your first few photos after having given birth for all of us to critique. And yes I understand they chose to live in the spotlight but FFS they really are damned if they do and damned if they don't. 

[MiddleAgedLady]

Derick just tweeted- 2 times with the same message! 

 

 

[flycat]

I wonder if she isn't in Arkansas.  I bet they went to Oklahoma to try for a VBAC and then ended up in an hospital there. 

[Shadoewolf]

Same outfit as Dwreck holding him earlier, that pic was in the hospital, twitter one looks like it still too.

And in all the reading, I don't think anyone is trashing Jill. More that the long silence was VERY UN-Duggar. Now with that pic of her added to the first one of a distressed baby Sam, people are concerned, which of course leads to speculation. Most I think are reserving judgement until the story comes out.

[adidas]

40 minutes ago, Paigerin2 said:

I'm sure this has been discussed but what do you think the Duggars Stance on PP depression is? Sure I know that they are supposed to be content and keep sweet but PP depression is nothing to just fluff over and is something Jill or any other duggar girl could not really control. How would that be handled if they just couldn't be joyful? Would meds be acceptable.

Derick tried to address this once and did a poor job imo. 

https://www.google.com.au/amp/www.inquisitr.com/3266634/jill-duggars-husband-derick-dillard-causes-controversy-by-sharing-advice-for-treating-depression/amp/

 

This is ONLY my opinion: 

For Christians suffering depression, the Bible can bring a lot of comfort and should be an integral part of their treatment. Treatment which should involve other aspects such as medication, counselling, exercise - a combination of whatever that person decides in consultation with their doctor/s. 

[Mamajane]

I delivered my first via emergency c-section-was in labor all day. I gave birth to a 12 pound baby girl. It was hell. I lost a large amount  of blood and had retained placenta. I was discharged only to be readmitted with a bad infection. I wanted to have a natural birth so badly-I was very grateful for that csection after I saw my daughter! There was NO WAY that baby was going to come naturally. She was just too big and I have a tipped pelvis-not a good match. I was determined to VBAC my second. In order to VBAC you have to go into labor naturally-something I did not do with my first. We did an ultrasound to check the size of my second daughter and at 38 weeks and 5 days she was measuring well over 9.5 lbs. After careful consideration we decided to go ahead with a scheduled csection. My second came weighing in at 10 lbs at 39 weeks. I did not have Gestational Diabetes during either pregnancies-I just make big babies. My husband and I have always wanted three or four children. After my repeat csection my amazing OBGYN told us to really educate ourselves on the dangers of placenta accreta-this is where the uterus imbeds into your previous csection scar(s)-it grows like cancer. It is an extremely dangerous condition, many mothers die from this. You basically bleed to death. I really hope Jill has someone in her corner telling her the dangers of multiple csections. I know it was hard for us to decide to be done with two children but we are beyond lucky to have our two amazing girls! I cannot even imagine leaving my husband to father three children without me. 

[ClaraOswin]

3 hours ago, CrazyMumma said:

I've had a 45 hr labour and a 36 hr labour... Once I could sit up?  You couldn't wipe the glowing smile off my face.  Jill's photo worries me.  I've had complicated hard births.  Nasty as hell.. Csection & a vbac.   There's something sad about Jill's face.  Post birth hormones give you a high.

I don't think it gives everyone a high. It certainly wasn't like that for me at all.

[blackberry]

6 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

  I also think they should have beds in maternity rooms for dad's to sleep in.

The hospital I delivered both my boys in had a couch that turned into a twin bed for my husband to sleep on. 

[TuringMachine]

Sammy next to baby James. Sam has the same wide set eyes as James.

[candygirl200413]

So I'm weird and I for some reason love how cute newborn noses look sometimes and I just saw Samuel and I really had eye heart emoji at my first glance.

I also asked my mom about me and my brother being born cause he ripped her and I was an emergency c-section so she just had stitches galore but she said they let her stay as long as she needed essentially. Like I get hospitals are a business but also giving birth (regardless of how you do it) is just so physical taxing. Obviously if you feel comfortable to leave you should but it makes me sad in a way that you can just be easily given the boot.

[Paigerin2]

11 hours ago, adidas said:

Derick tried to address this once and did a poor job imo. 
https://www.google.com.au/amp/www.inquisitr.com/3266634/jill-duggars-husband-derick-dillard-causes-controversy-by-sharing-advice-for-treating-depression/amp/

Thanks for that link! I have never read that. Total Bull if you ask me but now I know where he stands. I was never actually diagnosed with PP Depression but I did have a period of time where I felt "off". Luckily, it passed pretty quickly but I sympathize with any new mom who has to deal with actual depression. I wonder what know it all Derick would suggest if Jill (I'm just using her as an example) read the Bible for treatment and though maybe it made her feel a bit more at peace- she still couldn't shake it.

[PainfullyAware]

13 hours ago, Mrs. Figg said:

Is it an inverted elbow?! A chicken leg? Contorted Derrick arm?! Whose is it? So confused.

It's a double jointed arm with his hand resting on the arm rest, fingers pointed toward Derick. I know because I can do it! 

It's actually quite a striking picture of Jill- there's more emotion in her face then I've ever seen. To me she looks like she feels it's bittersweet- happy Sam is here but it's been a really tough few days. 

I also think it's too soon to predict any long term health complications. It's possible it was just a tough delivery and she's exhausted physically and emotionally. 

[Snarkylark]

In my state, babies are required to stay in hospital 24 hours after birth to get the newborn screening done. Birthing centers are different in that you can leave as soon as mom and baby are stable. 

[klabourdeth]

Just comparing the first photos of Jill when she had Izzy & those with Sam it does come across like this time that it went even worse. I wonder if there was a moment that might have been close to losing the life of either Jill or Sam. It just the photos shared this time and then those of Izzy kind of reforced that feeling.

I wonder if she isn't in Arkansas.  I bet they went to Oklahoma to try for a VBAC and then ended up in an hospital there. 

I pray if Jill was idiotic enough to jump the border home birth VBAC. And if Derrick was okay with it that they did so close to Tulsa or Muskogee and not hopefully in Mayes County. I can actually see things going further south if they ended up in at a certain Hospital.

[VixenToast]

I had my son vaginally. Arrived at the hospital at like 3 or 4 in the morning and I had him at 1pm. I think we stayed for two days. I remember taking a shower once I could. In the process I spaced out that I had just had my baby so when I walked out I had a bit of a jolt of realization that yes, I had indeed had a baby. It was surreal. I let the nursery have him for the night, except when he needed to feed. I'm pretty sure I had PPD and possibly PP Psychosis considering I attempted suicide 11 months later (I was in an abusive relationship with his dad).  I gave my baby swing to my aunt and 2 years later while visiting I heard the music it made and I felt overwhelmingly sad.

Childbirth does some weird shit, man, I tell ya. 

[nastyhobbitses]

Jill looks pretty darn great for having had major abdominal surgery to take out a nearly 10-pound screaming potato. Sammy is already side-eyeing his father, which is a great sign of brain function.

[Jug Band Baby]

19 hours ago, kachuu said:

I'm not sure if it was mentioned, but while scouring the interwebs for new Baby Samuel updates, I did notice that Jill tweeted a happy birthday to James July 7 at 11:34pm - 14ish hours before scheduled C-section (Source Jill's twitter)

 

So perhaps she was already at the hospital on pain meds being watched before the next day's C-Section?

I can't imagine being in painful labor without any type of medication for 30 hours and then thinking, oh darn, better tweet.

 

**However, I've never given birth, so this is opinion without labor/birth experience

 

It's refreshing to see a birthday message that doesn't have jack to do with having "a servant's heart" or some other generic bullshit.

I homebirthed with both kids and only stopped the tweets and pownce updates about 3 or 4 hours before delivery.  I was very comfortable and took a nap and all kids of stuff.  So 14 hours before delivery isn't any biggie.

[breakfree]

12 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

That would drive me around the bend.  The last thing I needed after giving birth would have been a stranger in my house every day. 

You'd think so but these Dutch maternity nurses are godsends. They spend about 1 hour a day on medical checks of you and baby, sometimes more if breastfeeding support is needed or there  are other problems. The rest of the time they're essentially an invisible fairy who does what you want them to do. They can/will do all or most of your cooking ,cleaning, other basic chores (like laundry), errands, even watch  your other kids if you have them so you can sleep and not worry about it. She's also qualified to give a lot of support in 'learning to be a parent' if you have any questions at all. But basically, other than the medical checks and if you're having issues with breastfeeding, you don't really need to see this person if you don't want, you can literally just tell them to go clean your bathroom or get your other kids ready for school and drop them off there.

If you have certain problems they will also stay longer than the guaranteed 6 hours a day. A problem can include minimal family support, having another child under 2 or 2 others under 4 or 3 others under 6, more than usual low mood, problems breastfeeding, post partum depression after a prior pregnancy, and all sorts of other things. I've literally never met a Dutch woman who was like I really wish that maternity nurse (we call them kraamorgs) had never come to my house, a lot of them actually cry when she leaves. It's not like having some pushy relative or useless stranger who you need to entertain there.