Dillards 34: Finding Contentment

[BobTheWalrus]

13 hours ago, Dugg@rTime said:

No sweet fellowship for 6 weeks?

i understand if you don't feel like it, but that's not something I was ever told. In fact I'm sure one of the questions at the 6 week check up was whether I had resumed relations.

That was definitely the recommendation in the UK. It was like, if you want to try earlier you can, but it's best to leave it. Given that I was still in bed most of the time for 3 weeks after the birth (emergency section under general anaesthetic after like 30 hours of labour) it seemed reasonable to me!

[MiddleAgedLady]

Derick did it again! He has a habit of tweeting things twice and then deleting the first tweet. This morning I checked his timeline and he deleted both tweets. I did take a screenshot and this picture is not on their website. 

 

[singsingsing]

I've always heard six weeks as the standard recommendation to wait. Obviously not everyone waits that long, because women show up to their six-week checkup already pregnant again. One saving grace for the Duggars is that if they're still following their old rule book, that won't happen. They have to wait 40 days (i.e. six weeks) after the birth of a boy, 80 days after the birth of a girl, to resume marital relations.

[freethemall]

I was told to wait 6 weeks for sex, any intense exercise, and submerging in water (a pool or bath). Even after 6 weeks, sex beyond the tip was excruciating for about 6 months. Then again, I had stitches from both internal and external vaginal tearing, and several hemerrhoids from actively pushing for about 7-8 hours. Someone mentioned being in labor a full work week, imagine pushing for a full work day!

[sparklymagie]

I had my daughter vaginally on a Monday.  I had a really bad 4th degree tear and lost a lot of blood (my doctor never said "hemorrhage" but now I wonder if that's what happened) and had to have 2 blood transfusions.  Baby and I were released on Friday just in time for my out of town in-laws  to come descend!  

My doctor said no sweet fellowship for at least 8 weeks due to my tear but I did not feel ready then.  We finally tried at 12 weeks and it was excruciatingly painful.  We then waited another 3 months.  Still excruciating.  Pain lessened a bit to the point where it was just painful (instead of excruciating) around the one year mark.  Then I went and got pelvic floor therapy which was a godsend and I no longer have pain (please, ladies, if you have lingering pain from childbirth, PLEASE look into pelvic floor therapy... my therapist told me she was glad I came in as soon as I did because most women wait YEARS and it's harder, but not impossible, to fix).

Now I'm pregnant with my second and my doctor has HIGHLY recommended a c- section because if I tear again it might be worse.  Knowing I face a c- section has made reading here the past few days difficult with all of the dire stories and speculation about what happened to Jill.  

[Mr. Pink]

@sparklymagie, my planned c-section could not have gone smoother and recovery was a breeze. I was sore for three days and couldn't walk very fast but on day four I woke up and felt like a totally normal person. My husband even had to travel for work the first week and my mom's flight was delayed so I watched both my kids by myself for about 36 hours--no problem whatsoever, I felt absolutely fine. And sex felt normal right from the getgo, other than needing more lube because I'm always much drier while breastfeeding.

So there's positive stories out there! I honestly came away from it being like "now THIS is the way to give birth!". During the entire process, from the time I checked in, to now, I never rated my pain as more than a three on the pain scale. Getting engorged from breastfeeding hurt worse.

[Gobbles]

@sparklymagie I was a c-section and the only thing my mum talks about is the horrible pregnancy she had with me. (Nausea during the whole thing!) I never heard any bad stories about her c-section. (The pictures are horrible, she looks like a dead person, but that was due to the pregnancy and not the operation.) Obviously back then it was full anesthesia, so I can't speak for the newer methods. My father was quite proud that he was with me for some time first before my mother was back. 

She did some special kind of gymnastics after the birth to help everything get back to how it was before pregnancy properly. Not weight loss (that would have been fatal), some special kind of pelvic thing I guess? No idea how to translate it.

[MiddleAgedLady]

Derick just tweeted. I got the full picture this time. 

[breakfree]

OMG his hands are huge in that picture... they truly look like the hands of a much older child. Maybe it's partly the angle but wow.

[VelociRapture]

@sparklymagieEvery woman and every pregnancy is different. What one woman experiences with her c-section isn't guaranteed to happen to you. So just because Jill MAY have had a tough time doesn't mean you necessarily will. My MIL had three sections (the first being an emergency) and she's never really indicated having a horrible time recovering or anything. Her pregnancies were more miserable because she was sick and nauseous the entire time.

If you're really concerned then I absolutely recommend speaking with your Doctor. They may be able to share positive stories or give you advice on how to prepare yourself ahead of time.

(I was pregnant last year. C-section wasn't mentioned to me since things progressed normally and I had her at 34 weeks, but I get how freaked out online stories can make you about certain things. I hope you're doing well so far and that you're enjoying your pregnancy as much as you can!) 

[SassyPants]

Round head= not fully engaged in the birth canal. I wonder if the Dillards will spin this as another malpresentation? 40 hours and the head not in the birth canal? If there's a next time, it needs to be a repeat section. Baby looks like JB...nostrils could be a little flared D/T the need for a nasal cannula.

[Buzzard]

3 hours ago, MiddleAgedLady said:

Derick just tweeted. I got the full picture this time.

This pic also looks like its still in the hospital.  There is a thermometer stuck in the upper left corner and the pile of diapers/burp cloths next to the baby.  The bassinet looks a lot like the glass ones they had at the hospital when my son was born, and not really a "home" setup. 

[Gillyweed]

1 minute ago, Buzzard said:

This pic also looks like its still in the hospital.  There is a thermometer stuck in the upper left corner and the pile of diapers/burp cloths next to the baby.  The bassinet looks a lot like the glass ones they had at the hospital when my son was born, and not really a "home" setup. 

If both Jill and Sam are still in the hospital, or even if they both went home a couple of days ago, how are they paying for their stay? Do they have insurance? 

[NotQuiteMotY]

9 hours ago, adidas said:

Derick tried to address this once and did a poor job imo. 

https://www.google.com.au/amp/www.inquisitr.com/3266634/jill-duggars-husband-derick-dillard-causes-controversy-by-sharing-advice-for-treating-depression/amp/

"No other viable solution"? You know what worked better than prayer, Derick? Zoloft. Should I not have taken it even though God gave us scientists and me the realization that I needed help? Screw you.

Can't be nice about that one.

1 hour ago, sparklymagie said:

I'm pregnant with my second and my doctor has HIGHLY recommended a c- section because if I tear again it might be worse.  Knowing I face a c- section has made reading here the past few days difficult with all of the dire stories and speculation about what happened to Jill.  

Everybody's different. A cousin of mine had 4 kids, all c-section. She said the hardest part was knowing she wouldn't be able to pick up the older kids for a few weeks.

[Exposedknees]

13 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

Oh Rufus! Jill looks like my sister did after a crash c-section and nearly bleeding to death. I hope they are both ok.

This happened to me with #2, crash csection and bleeding out....21 years ago. I looked like hell for about 2 months. My hemoglobin was so low that the hospital kept me 6 days. My daughter was fine day 1. I could barely hold her but was fiercely determined to nurse- even though they supplemented her. After that I was cautioned that this should be my last pregnancy, and I should take major precautions against future pregnancy or risk my life. I was two kids and done..(although my now ex husband secretly  wanted to try for a boy) This news might be devastating for Jill.

 

Childbirth is not for sissies.

 

[BabyBottlePop]

21 minutes ago, Gillyweed said:

If both Jill and Sam are still in the hospital, or even if they both went home a couple of days ago, how are they paying for their stay? Do they have insurance? 

I'm assuming they had it when Derrick worked for Walmart but I'm sure not now. Maybe JB paid it for out of his own pocket? Jill is too old to be on his insurance still, I'm assuming. 

I feel like the homebirth thing is done in part to save money. Some of those quiverfil people who are actually struggling on one income probably don't want to have to pay a hospital bill if they don't have to. Jill is lucky she has Daddy and leghumpers galore. 

[twoanddone]

I've had a vaginal and csection. My csection was 100x better for me. I was up and walking around at the mall three days later. After my vaginal, i couldn't sit straight for months. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

5 minutes ago, BabyBottlePop said:

Jill is too old to be on his insurance still, I'm assuming. 

Obamacare allows children up to age 26 to be on the parents' insurance, even if they're married. Not sure how old she is?

[Jilli]

Everybody's different. A cousin of mine had 4 kids, all c-section. She said the hardest part was knowing she wouldn't be able to pick up the older kids for a few weeks.

It won't quote the section I want [emoji23].

I was just saying the same thing about scientists to the lady who helps me clean my house(I am currently disabled)

Zoloft was my miracle. It made my brain much more manageable and made it possible to feel emotion still. Which another drug was unable to do.

Derick, Jeremy and the like are why I don't miss hanging out with some of my evangelical friends. It's not a simple pray and read the Bible solution. If I could pray away the anguish I'd be fine. It's not about commitment to God, it's about the brain and how sometimes it doesn't work properly.

[BabyBottlePop]

Just now, SapphireSlytherin said:

Obamacare allows children up to age 26 to be on the parents' insurance, even if they're married. Not sure how old she is?

She is 26 until next May, so you are right. For some reason I thought she was older.

[HarleyQuinn]

Yeah but would the Duggars actually want Obamacare? After all, Obama started it *the horror!*

I hope they have some type of insurance but for some reason I doubt it. 

[Baaaaaabe]

12 hours ago, Jilli said:

I actually thought it looked photoshopped for the angle it's at and appears to have a chunk missing, but there's absolutely no reason to do that, so I'm going with weird angle.

I have hypermobility spectrum disorder (connective tissue disorder) and that's what my elbows do/look like. I may just have to creep on Dwreck's other photos and see if there are other signs. They're super under diagnosed and getting good/the right treatment has made my life so much better. Even Dwreck doesn't deserve to suffer through it (then again, he could have benign hypermobility or even just a weird angled photo).

[Carm_88]

I think that it's important to remember that we will never truly know what happened with Jill and Samuel. The Duggars will spin it as they always do, we will probably see a patched together episode like with Israel's birth but not much will be shown. There will always be lingering doubts in many minds, because Duggars lie. 

All I can hope is that both Jill and Samuel are ok, that Jill is at peace with needing another c-section, and that Dirty Jesus doesn't try to whisk them off to Central America in the next little while. I'd say he has more sense then that, but I don't think he has the sense that God gave to little birds. 

[MiddleAgedLady]

6 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

 

All I can hope is that both Jill and Samuel are ok, that Jill is at peace with needing another c-section, and that Dirty Jesus doesn't try to whisk them off to Central America in the next little while. I'd say he has more sense then that, but I don't think he has the sense that God gave to little birds. 

He won't. A little more than 2 weeks after Israel was born, they went to the Big Sandy conference in Texas. 

[Sister Mozz]

Count me in as another who thinks the most recent picture was taken in the hospital. The concern for both of them lingers.