Erin and Chad 11: How Does Anyone Sleep?

[marmalade]

10 hours ago, OHFL2009 said:

I think I remember Erin saying that he prefers Charles and asks to be called by his actual name, but I don't remember when or where I saw that, so I could be totally wrong. It looks like Erin is the only one who got that memo though, KJ's birthday post still uses Carson. 

And KJ should know better. She was just in Florida visiting them last week for crying out loud.

[Kiki03910]

13 hours ago, JDuggs said:

Being kind of old school, I always considered Charlie, Chuck and Chaz the nicknames for Charles. I know a Chase that was also used as a nickname for Charles. So while I don’t typically think of Chad and Carson as nicknames for Charles, I can see how they were chosen in a family where you don’t want to call two or more people by the same name. I actually prefer Carson to Charles, but it’s nice to see Erin respecting her son’s opinion on his own name.

My grandfather was Charles (middle name) II and went by Charlie. His son, III, goes by Chas. My cousin, IV, goes by Chuck. I asked him once if he'd had a son, would the kid be Charles V. His response: "NO."

[HeartsAFundie]

I thought that Carson was a combined nickname for his full name, Charles Stephen.  Isn't he the fourth or fifth person in the Paine family with that name, so they all have some type of derivative somehow stemming from the two names?   

I know two people names Charles: my dad's BFF who goes by Charlie and my ex-brother-in-law who goes by Chuck.   

Edited May 18 by HeartsAFundie

[SassyPants]

I don’t understand why they don’t use middle names as a nod to a prior family member. As an example, why is Lawson not named Lawson William? I don’t understand this trend of calling the kid by the middle name. Just flip the names. And the ones giving sons a family name (jr, second, third, IV, etc), just call them by that name, or name them the name you intend on calling them. Does Kade even know what his actual, legal name is? My oldest brother has a son who is Jr, but they go by different forms of the name. Think William and Bill (not their names). No one calls my brother William and no one calls his son Bill. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I don’t understand why they don’t use middle names as a nod to a prior family member. As an example, why is Lawson not named Lawson William? I don’t understand this trend of calling the kid by the middle name. Just flip the names. And the ones giving sons a family name (jr, second, third, IV, etc), just call them by that name, or name them the name you intend on calling them. Does Kade even know what his actual, legal name is? My oldest brother has a son who is Jr, but they go by different forms of the name. Think William and Bill (not their names). No one calls my brother William and no one calls his son Bill. 

My family is ridiculously full of Nick names. Some are like Billy for William and some are just Nick names they picked up due to personality or looks. I had a great uncle everyone called Jake. Yet neither his first or middle name was Jacob. They didn’t even start with a J! I think I asked my mom why people called him Jake and she couldn’t remember. There is usually an interesting story behind Nick names in my family. 

[Sheltie]

4 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I don’t understand why they don’t use middle names as a nod to a prior family member. As an example, why is Lawson not named Lawson William? I don’t understand this trend of calling the kid by the middle name. Just flip the names. And the ones giving sons a family name (jr, second, third, IV, etc), just call them by that name, or name them the name you intend on calling them. Does Kade even know what his actual, legal name is? My oldest brother has a son who is Jr, but they go by different forms of the name. Think William and Bill (not their names). No one calls my brother William and no one calls his son Bill. 

I’ve always been called by my middle name and I don’t like it.  The name is alright but I feel like I have two identities because for example all my medical prescriptions are in my first name and I have to use my first name on all legal paperwork.  The plan was to always call me by this name and the reason the names were not flipped is because the names flow much better this way.  

[Bluebirdbluebell]

6 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I don’t understand why they don’t use middle names as a nod to a prior family member. As an example, why is Lawson not named Lawson William? I don’t understand this trend of calling the kid by the middle name. Just flip the names. And the ones giving sons a family name (jr, second, third, IV, etc), just call them by that name, or name them the name you intend on calling them. Does Kade even know what his actual, legal name is? My oldest brother has a son who is Jr, but they go by different forms of the name. Think William and Bill (not their names). No one calls my brother William and no one calls his son Bill. 

Going by a middle name is Southern tradition. Here's an article about it (link).

On the family names, Kade's father and grandfather and maybe even his great-grandfather are still alive, so they're running out of nicknames. In my extended family, they keep using the same names and it is getting confusing even with nicknames.

 

[Baxter]

2 hours ago, Sheltie said:

I’ve always been called by my middle name and I don’t like it.  The name is alright but I feel like I have two identities because for example all my medical prescriptions are in my first name and I have to use my first name on all legal paperwork.  The plan was to always call me by this name and the reason the names were not flipped is because the names flow much better this way.  

This is exactly the same as me! I have always been called by my middle name. But my parents thought having my first name as my middle sounded clunky. It's a huge pain in the neck. I don't like it either. Everything official has my first name on it which doesn't really feel like me. It really is like having two identities. Both of my kids are called by their first names. Neither of then has a nickname either. 

[Johannah]

I’m not sure this is all Carson/Charles’s doing. Chad has been open about his dislike of the name Carson and his opinion that it is not a nickname for Charles, and how Charles is a nice, solid name, and an honor name, etc. Erin, being the submissive helpmeet has sheepishly agreed and openly said she regrets calling him Carson and wishes she could go back and call him Charles from the beginning. So of course the kid wants to be called Charles now!! It would actually be somewhat rebellious of him to insist on remaining Carson, even if that’s what he actually prefers (which I assume he does, since that’s been his name his entire life!) Also, how exactly is Carson that much different from being called Chad? By this logic, shouldn’t Chad now insist on being called Charles, too??
 

This feels like a Michael Bates situation of impulsive child naming. And I think Chad caved to his new wife’s whims at the time, but has now realized you can paint over pink bedroom walls, but you can’t rename your firstborn son. Except now he’s renaming himself to please his parents, poor kid. 

[Johannah]

I just watched Erin’s latest video interviewing her mom in Florida on Mother’s Day.

A few thoughts:

I wonder why Kelly Jo traveled to spend the day with only one child when she has 18 others, including minors at home. 
 

I‘m not sure if it’s something she did with her hair, or now having fewer children to take care of, but KJ looks stunning. Even in spite of her hideous pink shirt. She looks so much like Alyssa, and she and Erin look close enough in age to be sisters. 
 

Erin’s featuring of Kelly Jo’s women’s “bible study” topic (god forbid a woman give a sermon or speak to men) seemed like a potential dig at Carlin. It was about the impact of words and using kind words. But I did notice Erin look a little frozen when KJ talked about forgiveness needing to be repeated daily. A lot less enthusiastic nodding from Erin on that one. 
 

Really rich to talk about the importance of kind words when you support a cruel, foul-mouthed wannabe autocrat. 
 

I kept waiting for KJ to say something absurd, but I have to say, if you take the religious context away from her message, I actually agree with nearly everything she said. 
 

There was a moment at the end when KJ said she was trying to get Erin to move back to TN, but Erin said they “loved” their church in Florida. And then adds, and the sunshine. Wtf?? Why are they actually there? Vitamin D deficiency? What happened to the church planting? Could the Carlin feud have been so bad that Erin felt like she needed to physically leave the state and make up an excuse as to why? And now KJ is trying to patch things up and lure her back. It’s not like KJ is trying to bring fellow Floridian Alyssa back to TN. Something is off.

 

[Kiki03910]

5 hours ago, Johannah said:

I just watched Erin’s latest video interviewing her mom in Florida on Mother’s Day.

A few thoughts:

I wonder why Kelly Jo traveled to spend the day with only one child when she has 18 others, including minors at home. 
 

I‘m not sure if it’s something she did with her hair, or now having fewer children to take care of, but KJ looks stunning. Even in spite of her hideous pink shirt. She looks so much like Alyssa, and she and Erin look close enough in age to be sisters. 
 

Erin’s featuring of Kelly Jo’s women’s “bible study” topic (god forbid a woman give a sermon or speak to men) seemed like a potential dig at Carlin. It was about the impact of words and using kind words. But I did notice Erin look a little frozen when KJ talked about forgiveness needing to be repeated daily. A lot less enthusiastic nodding from Erin on that one. 
 

Really rich to talk about the importance of kind words when you support a cruel, foul-mouthed wannabe autocrat. 
 

I kept waiting for KJ to say something absurd, but I have to say, if you take the religious context away from her message, I actually agree with nearly everything she said. 
 

There was a moment at the end when KJ said she was trying to get Erin to move back to TN, but Erin said they “loved” their church in Florida. And then adds, and the sunshine. Wtf?? Why are they actually there? Vitamin D deficiency? What happened to the church planting? Could the Carlin feud have been so bad that Erin felt like she needed to physically leave the state and make up an excuse as to why? And now KJ is trying to patch things up and lure her back. It’s not like KJ is trying to bring fellow Floridian Alyssa back to TN. Something is off.

 

Thank you for watching this and reporting on it for us. I don't have any social media (does FJ count???) so I appreciate you taking one for the team.

I agree that the contrast between Erin and Alyssa is interesting. I wonder if Alyssa just made it clear from the start that she'd be staying in Florida, period. I doubt she has any desire to spend time in the Bates Madhouse.

[OHFL2009]

4 hours ago, Kiki03910 said:

I agree that the contrast between Erin and Alyssa is interesting. I wonder if Alyssa just made it clear from the start that she'd be staying in Florida, period. I doubt she has any desire to spend time in the Bates Madhouse.

It could also be partly due to how/why they each ended up in Florida. Alyssa married a Floridian, whose father is in a position of power. John's entire family lives nearby and John works for the family business, so they have much stronger ties to the area. Her kids were all born in Florida, and they seem to be close to the Websters.

Chad has some family in Florida, but I don't think they're all that close (distance-wise), and Chad and Erin don't seem super entrenched with the community or a local business. They come across as being kind of isolated out in the middle of nowhere. To me it seems like either they were looking for a change/running away from Tennessee for some reason, or whatever their real reason for moving to Florida was, fell through. 

[Kiki03910]

11 minutes ago, OHFL2009 said:

It could also be partly due to how/why they each ended up in Florida. Alyssa married a Floridian, whose father is in a position of power. John's entire family lives nearby and John works for the family business, so they have much stronger ties to the area. Her kids were all born in Florida, and they seem to be close to the Websters.

Chad has some family in Florida, but I don't think they're all that close (distance-wise), and Chad and Erin don't seem super entrenched with the community or a local business. They come across as being kind of isolated out in the middle of nowhere. To me it seems like either they were looking for a change/running away from Tennessee for some reason, or whatever their real reason for moving to Florida was, fell through. 

All very good points. Their move to FL seemed a bit weird, somehow off. Erin comes across as very rigid and judgmental. We'll probably never know what's really going on, unless there's a Bates version of Jill Duggar. I can't imagine who that would be, though.

[Melissa1977]

6 hours ago, Kiki03910 said:

I agree that the contrast between Erin and Alyssa is interesting. I wonder if Alyssa just made it clear from the start that she'd be staying in Florida, period. I doubt she has any desire to spend time in the Bates Madhouse.

Alyssa was mad about living TN, but she also had local inlaws and a business (at first John was just employed, now is an owner) in Florida. Living in TN it was never discussed. Plus Florida inlaws are VIP (compared to Bates). Erin has nothing in Florida apart from a church she loves(?). Chad and Erin have not familiy or a well paid job there, neither an important business or a  great project, as far as we know. They never truly explained why they moved  

[just_ordinary]

I don’t think Carson is an obvious nickname for Charles. But I also don’t believe a nickname has to be a well known derivative or shortened version of your real name. It can be completely unrelated. It’s just annoying if people act as if there is a clear connection when there isn’t.

If Charles decided he prefers to be called Charles it’s great that his parents accept that. There are so many problem with the people we discuss here, it’s nice to see that they are able to act normal once in a while. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Purely based on speculation/observation, it seems like Chad changed a LOT in how he treats Erin after she was sick a few years ago.  She's no longer involved in the Boutique, had to scale back on her youtube, moved to Florida, changed their son's name to his preference, and generally just seems a lot more rigid and controlling.  Maybe a coincidence because he was always going to get tired of not being obeyed or maybe he used her sickness as an reason to tell her she wasn't godly enough/submitting enough.  Or something else.  I'm sure we'll never know, but I'm certainly glad I don't live in that household.

[Coconut Flan]

Chad could have gotten tired of all the unpaid work he kept being dragged into with the Bates clan.  We wondered how long he'd put up with that.

[Melissa1977]

Chad was a submissive helpmeet. He always looked exhausted of all the free work he did for the Bates, plus the home chores and his job. He definitely treated Erin as a princess. In this forum, it was ofted commented that he should put some boundaries.

At some point (I think it was before Erin's illness), they become more fundie, going to conferences and retreats for couples. I wonder if there was some kind of marriage crisis.

While all that conferences and religion brainwashing could made Chad change his behaviour towards Erin, I suspect that he just became less passionate and started seeing Erin's faults. So he realised his inlaws were taking advantage of him, his wife expected too much from him, plus kids, work etc... He was not the passionate young man in love anymore. I'm not saying he wasn't in love, but probably the blind love turned into something milder. So he was not the servant anymore, but a typical fundie husband.

[Word]

Chad... hmm I think Erin says JUMP, his response how high!  Supposedly she is left with a 3rd of an ovary, belting out the miracle children, no miracle I suspect she tells Chad, lets get to it and get the script for the fertility shots!

[GuineaPigCourtship]

10 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

At some point (I think it was before Erin's illness), they become more fundie, going to conferences and retreats for couples. I wonder if there was some kind of marriage crisis.

I like this theory, it seems very plausible that they dove deeper in as a response to her health issues.  He probably found he liked not having to bend over backwards for the family, too.

[rebeccawriter01]

5 hours ago, Word said:

Chad... hmm I think Erin says JUMP, his response how high!  Supposedly she is left with a 3rd of an ovary, belting out the miracle children, no miracle I suspect she tells Chad, lets get to it and get the script for the fertility shots!

I think this is what they portrayed when they had the show. I don't think it is true though.  

Edited May 25 by rebeccawriter01

[nelliebelle1197]

On 5/22/2024 at 12:26 AM, Johannah said:

I just watched Erin’s latest video interviewing her mom in Florida on Mother’s Day.

A few thoughts:

I wonder why Kelly Jo traveled to spend the day with only one child when she has 18 others, including minors at home. 
 

I‘m not sure if it’s something she did with her hair, or now having fewer children to take care of, but KJ looks stunning. Even in spite of her hideous pink shirt. She looks so much like Alyssa, and she and Erin look close enough in age to be sisters. 
 

Erin’s featuring of Kelly Jo’s women’s “bible study” topic (god forbid a woman give a sermon or speak to men) seemed like a potential dig at Carlin. It was about the impact of words and using kind words. But I did notice Erin look a little frozen when KJ talked about forgiveness needing to be repeated daily. A lot less enthusiastic nodding from Erin on that one. 
 

Really rich to talk about the importance of kind words when you support a cruel, foul-mouthed wannabe autocrat. 
 

I kept waiting for KJ to say something absurd, but I have to say, if you take the religious context away from her message, I actually agree with nearly everything she said. 
 

There was a moment at the end when KJ said she was trying to get Erin to move back to TN, but Erin said they “loved” their church in Florida. And then adds, and the sunshine. Wtf?? Why are they actually there? Vitamin D deficiency? What happened to the church planting? Could the Carlin feud have been so bad that Erin felt like she needed to physically leave the state and make up an excuse as to why? And now KJ is trying to patch things up and lure her back. It’s not like KJ is trying to bring fellow Floridian Alyssa back to TN. Something is off.

 

Erin has always been Kelly’s golden child. Nothing is off. Kelly just wants her back.

 

 

[rebeccawriter01]

On 5/27/2024 at 5:59 PM, nelliebelle1197 said:

Erin has always been Kelly’s golden child. Nothing is off. Kelly just wants her back.

 

 

People wonder how Carlin and Lawson ended up crying out for attention...I didn't watch the video. I skipped through in 30 second forwards. I never heard Erin talk except the end. Kelly and her ribbon in her hair spoke the entire time. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Erin flew to visit family and her BFF Tori for the birth. She brought her two favorite children. Her boys. How nice. 

[vienna]

I am reading about a fight between Carln and Erin here again and again. Can someone please clue me in? I know Erin left the boutique due to a disagreement with Carlin it seems, but do you know more details?