People is reporting that Michelle Duggar miscarried MERGED

[Elster]

What I don't get is they were going in for the anatomy scan in which you find out the gender of the baby. Yes, there was no heartbeat but wouldn't they have still looked to see what the gender was? They mentioned in the article that they will hold a funeral and name the baby after they find out if it is a boy or girl. Just seems strange that they wouldn't ask them to find out then.

When this happened to me (earlier on than Michelle is), the fetus was not in good condition when they saw it on the US. (Sorry if this is TMI stop reading..) It kind of dissolves unfortunately. So that could have happened. I would understand if they left out those particulars in the article.

[tkr322]

When this happened to me (earlier on than Michelle is), the fetus was not in good condition when they saw it on the US. (Sorry if this is TMI stop reading..) It kind of dissolves unfortunately. So that could have happened. I would understand if they left out those particulars in the article.

Ah... and sorry for your loss.

There are so many of us on here who have had miscarriages :( It really is sad how many women have to experience it. Mine were at 5 and 6 weeks so I guess I was "lucky" that they were early.

I am currently 13 weeks though and can tell you this freaked me out. It didn't help that I just read the paper this evening and there's an article about a woman who also went to her 20 week ultrasound and discovered her baby had died :(.

[Elster]

if it was a missed miscarriage (the fetus' age at death was under 14 weeks) they probably wouldn't be able to see gender.

Right, true. It depends when her last dr. appt was. Didn't I read somewhere she was under the care of a high risk specialist? So she should have had an appointment recently... but who knows.

[theologygeek]

I would just throw a word of caution in here that a lot of people on this board ( myself included), have lost babies to miscarriage or stillbirth. While we may not all agree on when life begins, for a lot of women their heart dies a little with a miscarriage, no matter how early. Perhaps the mods could post a sensitive topic header?

The title of the thread is enough of a warning. It doesn't take a college degree to figure out that if Free Jinger is discussing Michelle Duggar's miscarriage, then chances are probable that there will be some snark in the thread.

[MamaJunebug]

Also wonder if some "sin in the camp" is going to be identified & if Josiah's lack of...a positive attitude ... is going to be a contender. How do ATI/Gothard explain miscarriage of a godly family's baby? I will be gratified but surprised to learn that it's presented as a mystery and not a celestial whack upside the head.

I doubt they faked the pregnancy. The repercussions if discovered would have been scandalous. I do have a very sour feeling about the idea that they don't yet know the gender of the fetus, presuming they know it, of course: I think they could be withholding the info to keep interest elevated. Note well: I'm not saying the Duggars would have decided to withhold the info; I think it could be the producers' decision or at least influence.

How would the producers present such a thing? "It's too much to ask people to bear this, all at once. When the fans have come to grips w the fact of the pregnancy's untimely termination, then we'll reveal the gender

& show the funeral prep & kids' reactions."

Yes, I am a cynic, but to TLC this must look like ratings gold.

Edited to acknowledge that no, they might not be able to tell the gender.

[Koala]

I have a hard time feeling sorry for the parents. The kids? Yes. They didn't set themselves up for this. But J'Bob and Michelle DID. they've basically been playing Russian Roulette with Michelle's womb.

If that makes me a terrible person, I'm okay with that.

I agree. They need to take a long hard look at their (neglected) children, and then grow the hell up and parent them. Those poor kids are being drug backwards through hell just so Michelle can continue on her never ending quest to breed.

And for all of you newbie hand swatters, I have had 2 miscarriages, one of which landed me in the hospital for a d & c. It was horrible, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But this? This is a snarking board. I don't know what you wandered in here expecting to find, but if it was people sipping Duggar kool aid, you're in the wrong place. We have a real shortage of rose colored glasses here.

[haveapicniclife]

I wonder if it was a missed miscarriage though? Surely a grand multipara like Michelle would notice a lack of fetal movement. As of today she was what...20 weeks along, approximately? I kind of wonder if it was a cord accident or maybe a placental issue. It couldn't have been anything too dangerous or they would've delivered the baby to preserve Michelle's health. Just thinking here, but it very well could've been a genetic thing too. I doubt they'll ever say definitively what it was (if they even know).

[Austin]

To expand on something Elster said - something else that can happen:

When I was pregnant with our oldest son, I was pregnant with twins. Sometime between an ultrasound at 9 weeks and one at 12 weeks, the other twin died. There was not much to do but to go home and watch and wait, and I was just beside myself with grief b/c we so wanted these babies. But I never started to bleed or anything, and I kept going back for rechecks. The remaining baby, my now-21-year-old, continued to develop and grow swimmingly.

The whole other pregnancy dissolved eventually and my body just absorbed it. :shock: It's actually quite a common occurrence, I came to find out, called Vanishing Twin Syndrome. In earlier times before ultrasound, I would have never known I was ever expecting twins.

[Elster]

Ah... and sorry for your loss.

There are so many of us on here who have had miscarriages :( It really is sad how many women have to experience it. Mine were at 5 and 6 weeks so I guess I was "lucky" that they were early.

I am currently 13 weeks though and can tell you this freaked me out. It didn't help that I just read the paper this evening and there's an article about a woman who also went to her 20 week ultrasound and discovered her baby had died :(.

Thanks so much for the good wishes... and congrats on your current pregnancy!! Best wishes to you - it is hard to read things like this, I know what you mean... hopefully we will hear good news from you! :)

[Elster]

To expand on something Elster said - something else that can happen:

When I was pregnant with our oldest son, I was pregnant with twins. Sometime between an ultrasound at 9 weeks and one at 12 weeks, the other twin died. There was not much to do but to go home and watch and wait, and I was just beside myself with grief b/c we so wanted these babies. But I never started to bleed or anything, and I kept going back for rechecks. The remaining baby, my now-21-year-old, continued to develop and grow swimmingly.

The whole other pregnancy dissolved eventually and my body just absorbed it. :shock: It's actually quite a common occurrence, I came to find out, called Vanishing Twin Syndrome. In earlier times before ultrasound, I would have never known I was ever expecting twins.

I'm sorry that happened to you... :( I know someone who had something similar. Her grown daughter had twins, and she told me "twins run in the family" and I was curious because she didn't have twins herself. So then she told me that this had happened.

[Visionoyahweh]

More of my random thoughts: I'm betting they bury the child in the compound. Michelle will visit often.

[AnnoDomini]

On some level, I was expecting this news. I feel bad in a way, but I think my primary reaction is relief. My only concern is that Jim Bob and Michelle might blame one of the kids similar to the whole "sin in the camp" situation. I don't care if they blame themselves, though. These people are so indoctrinated, I think some heavy contemplation about their belief system would do them good.

So 'sin in the camp' isn't just some smartassery to put underneath our names? I must have missed the Duggar 'sin in the camp' bit.

[tkr322]

More of my random thoughts: I'm betting they bury the child in the compound. Michelle will visit often.

When I read they were having a funeral this was my first thought. That the baby would be buried in the backyard.

[Austin]

I'm sorry that happened to you... :( I know someone who had something similar. Her grown daughter had twins, and she told me "twins run in the family" and I was curious because she didn't have twins herself. So then she told me that this had happened.

Thank you for your kind words. We mourned the loss of that baby, but we felt very blessed to have our boy, so that healed the wound pretty quickly. And even though there was some emotional distress, there was no physical trauma. I went on to have twins three years later, twin sons who are 18 now. My MIL once said sourly that I appeared to only conceive "litters" - lol

[Elster]

Thank you for your kind words. We mourned the loss of that baby, but we felt very blessed to have our boy, so that healed the wound pretty quickly. And even though there was some emotional distress, there was no physical trauma. I went on to have twins three years later, twin sons who are 18 now. My MIL once said sourly that I appeared to only conceive "litters" - lol

hah! That's cute... I'm glad everything worked out for you. :)

[Visionoyahweh]

When I read they were having a funeral this was my first thought. That the baby would be buried in the backyard.

My family has a private graveyard at our homestead, with many relatives in it, but I still find this creepy for some reason.

[julie]

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45603597/ ... iscarries/

Awful :(

[Lily]

I wonder what they'll blame it on now if not birth control.

[QAF_Rocks]

So 'sin in the camp' isn't just some smartassery to put underneath our names? I must have missed the Duggar 'sin in the camp' bit.

Nope, it's real. You can read all about it here:

http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com ... ry11462072

[StarrieEyedKat]

if it was a missed miscarriage (the fetus' age at death was under 14 weeks) they probably wouldn't be able to see gender.

Why not? I found out both of my kids' gender at 14 weeks.

[AnnoDomini]

Whoa, the 'sin in the camp' story is... interesting and disturbing.

[Lillybee]

I wonder if any of the other children were present for the jender reveal. Don't the Duggars take some or all to the ultrasound?

Nevertheless, I do feel sorry for Michelle. It must be horrible to get that news.

[Angri-la]

I wonder what they'll blame it on now if not birth control.

True story: I was married to an uber fundie, virgins on wedding night, the whole 9. (yes, I know I've posted this before, but it is apropos here). Problem was? I couldn't carry babies past the 90 day mark. I had 5 miscarriages in the span of 14 months. No, really. MIL blamed it all on me, and truly believes/d that it was because I was baptized as a Catholic. Huh. So, why are there so many jokes about giant Catholic families? "Every sperm is sacred!" I was part of one, so if baptizing children as evil Papists means no babies, um.....where'd my siblings and I come from? The Stork of Jesus Christ?

[DinnerPlateDahlia]

Yes, but there are sOme harsh words being said that honestly, you might not think is harsh until you read it. Not the miscarriage part, but the "why do people kiss a dead baby- ew" kind of thing. Or making fun of others who hold funerals, or who say it's creepy to "carry a dead baby inside you". Like, you can have your opinions, but if you don't expect that kind of thing, it can be jarring to say the least.

I'm so sorry you're going though this. I know that some people (my MIL in particular) think I've been batshit since I lost my pregnancy. She literally told me "In my day people took miscarriage more lightly." Your feelings are completely normal and warranted. Our culture doesn't really appreciate pregnancy loss. It is a real and painful loss and I'm so sorry. Please know it's okay and normal to grieve in whatever way you find helpful. I wish you and your family healing and love.

[DinnerPlateDahlia]

Why not? I found out both of my kids' gender at 14 weeks.

Yeah, I already knew my lost baby was a boy at 13 weeks.