People is reporting that Michelle Duggar miscarried MERGED

[Kitty]

I tend to ignore the stickies because I assume that I've read them before. Most people look at the lower portion of the forum for the threads because it is titled topics. The poor mods are going to be busy for a few days. LOL I have to give the mods credit, they are very quick about merging each new thread.

I know I missed it when it first got stickied, but seriously. It's *right there*.

[Clementine]

In the UK, we use the term 'miscarriage' until 23 weeks, but from 24 weeks a baby that dies in the womb is considered to be 'stillborn' and it is becoming fairly usual for the family to spend time with the body, to have hand and footprints taken, and photographs. It is not particularly a religious thing, just a help to cope with the grief of the loss. Some of the services are offered by the NHS and some by charities. A friend of mine lost her little boy at 5 or 6 months and she gets a lot of comfort from having a 'memory box' and having had her mum there and some other family when they said goodbye to him. It helps to validate her feelings of sadness even now, years later, when the anniversary of his death comes around and few people in her current circle know very much about him.

Same here in Sweden. I have never heard of a funeral for a miscarried baby younger than 22 weeks, but I know that some families chose to have the baby cremated or buried in the family grave. If they have a religious service , it's just for the closest family.

I feel sorry for Michelle, or any woman that miscarries.... but I wouldn't be surprised if she will announce another pregnancy in 2012.

[Daenerys]

I tend to ignore the stickies because I assume that I've read them before. Most people look at the lower portion of the forum for the threads because it is titled topics. The poor mods are going to be busy for a few days. LOL

They should capitalise it in a bright colour - people notice colourful things, we're all magpies really :lol:

[MarsGirl]

I'm honestly shocked if out of 19 kids (and, what is it, 17 pregnancies) that Michelle has only miscarried twice (this being the second). My grandma "only" had 8 kids and she had a couple miscarries. I thought it was kind of common, especially when you keep on getting pregnant... Even my grandma who had 5 kids had at least one miscarry that I'm aware of...

[Visionoyahweh]

I just thought of the perfect J'fetus name - Job. Since it's been basically nothing but suffering for the family, and God has forsaken them.

Unless, they pull and Arrested Development with the spelling.

ETA: Unless it's a girl. Jezebel works for a girl.

[Kitty]

I bet Michelle's miscarried loads of times, either without realizing it, or simply kept it quiet.

Also, the Duggars are indeed holding a funeral service for the baby, and picking out a name. :(

[annalena]

Where do you get this from?

[Kitty]

Where do you get this from?

TODAY show.

[annalena]

Thanks. Will have to see if it's online somewhere already

[Spider Burps]

My mother miscarried with a child before me at 25 weeks. It was a horrible experience for both my parents. She had to have natural delivery. They did choose to see the baby afterward but didn't hold it or take any pictures. My mother always said she was glad to get to see the baby but just couldn't handle anything else. Luckily because she was advanced maternal age she and my father had not annouced they were pregnant so she didn't have to explain what happened to anyone. Terrible experience. They never had a funeral or anything, but then again my parents are very private people.

Since so many people are sharing, a year and a half ago I miscarried at 23 weeks and had to have a natural delivery, too, though they had to induce it because my body was just rockin' out and acting like I was carrying a live fetus instead of a dead one--I spent hours walking the halls of my OB's office, the walls of which happened to be absolutely covered in pictures of newborns and happy mommies. It was seriously what hell has to be. The nurses (and my fiance) told me it'd be "easier in the long run" if I didn't see my baby/fetus/whatever afterwards and I was too high on nubain (sp?) to argue.

I'm still not over it and the fact that it was induced combined with the lack of closure made me feel like I had an abortion, which only fucked with me more. >.< I can only imagine how hard a fundie could take it if not-at-all-fundie me felt that way! I actually feel bad for Michelle for the first time ever.

[Witsec7]

TODAY show.

It was in the People article as well.

[Boogalou]

Thanks. Will have to see if it's online somewhere already

They never appeared on the Today Show for this, it's in their article. I couldn't find that one but it's in the People article as well. http://www.people.com/people/article/0, ... 73,00.html

[Kitty]

They never appeared on the Today Show for this, it's in their article. I couldn't find that one but it's in the People article as well. http://www.people.com/people/article/0, ... 73,00.html

ddeeerrrrrrppppp. It was in the People article. Can't believe I missed that.

[snarkykitty]

A relative lost her child in the second trimester. At the 16-week checkup, they discovered the baby had died, and had been dead for at least 2 weeks. She had to be induced and deliver. It was horrible.

I don't wish a miscarriage on anyone. Even if it's #20/21.

Oh, and JB's sister, Deanna, had to make two announcements and get everyone posting on her very public wall. I almost sent her a message through facebook. Amy's milking it, too. Stupid f-ing fame whores. Listen to your relative and give them some peace.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

also, the Duggars are indeed holding a funeral service for the baby, and picking out a name. :(

That is often recommended--I've had very secular friends who did this as well. I think the Duggars are doing this to make it very real to their children that this baby was real.

The Bates named their miscarried children as well.

[BoomerLynn]

Since so many people are sharing, a year and a half ago I miscarried at 23 weeks and had to have a natural delivery, too, though they had to induce it because my body was just rockin' out and acting like I was carrying a live fetus instead of a dead one--I spent hours walking the halls of my OB's office, the walls of which happened to be absolutely covered in pictures of newborns and happy mommies. It was seriously what hell has to be. The nurses (and my fiance) told me it'd be "easier in the long run" if I didn't see my baby/fetus/whatever afterwards and I was too high on nubain (sp?) to argue.

I'm still not over it and the fact that it was induced combined with the lack of closure made me feel like I had an abortion, which only fucked with me more. >.< I can only imagine how hard a fundie could take it if not-at-all-fundie me felt that way! I actually feel bad for Michelle for the first time ever.

I am so sorry for your loss.

[BoomerLynn]

That is often recommended--I've had very secular friends who did this as well. I think the Duggars are doing this to make it very real to their children that this baby was real.

The Bates named their miscarried children as well.

I see nothing wrong with it either. We named out twins but chose not to have a funeral. My other kids were too young to understand and I couldn't handle being surrounded by people. We chose to cremate them and they are in a small urn in our bedroom with a picture and two teddy bears the hospital gave us. I think both naming the baby and having a funeral/memorial is a way to provide closure for both the parents and siblings. I just really, really hope they stop now. I really don't think her body can take it anymore. Sadly, I doubt they will ever stop until she reaches menopause or dies during pregnancy/childbirth.

[treemom]

I think that a lot of us who have gone through a loss like this may be more comfortable with things that others who have not.

I am certain I would not have understood pictures, funeral, etc until I was faced with me two losses.

ETA: That doesn't make either side superior. It just means both sides hopefully can understand the lack of understanding from the other side.

[Angri-la]

I think that a lot of us who have gone through a loss like this may be more comfortable with things that others who have not.

I am certain I would not have understood pictures, funeral, etc until I was faced with me two losses.

ETA: That doesn't make either side superior. It just means both sides hopefully can understand the lack of understanding from the other side.

You hit this perfectly, treemom. I don't feel superior to you because I had no real emotional connection by the 6th one. My body knew before my brain did, that I would never carry a child to term, and I guess I was in self-preservation mode, and didn't mourn each as another might. Everyone copes differently. As I am pro-choice, I will support a friend who wants to have a funeral for a miscarriage. It is about choice: your body, your rules.

I am sorry that any woman miscarries. Even Jichelle.

I still think it is cruel to make a child kiss a dead sibling. If they want to, great, but making them? Ugh, I had smushed that memory waaay down, and it came back like an unwelcome cat last night.

[treemom]

I think forcing anyone to kiss anything dead is wrong. At all times in all places.

[browngrl]

...so many sad stories of miscarriage...((hugs)) to all the women who have had to deal with this

[BoomerLynn]

You hit this perfectly, treemom. I don't feel superior to you because I had no real emotional connection by the 6th one. My body knew before my brain did, that I would never carry a child to term, and I guess I was in self-preservation mode, and didn't mourn each as another might. Everyone copes differently. As I am pro-choice, I will support a friend who wants to have a funeral for a miscarriage. It is about choice: your body, your rules.

I am sorry that any woman miscarries. Even Jichelle.

I still think it is cruel to make a child kiss a dead sibling. If they want to, great, but making them? Ugh, I had smushed that memory waaay down, and it came back like an unwelcome cat last night.

I would absolutely never do that. I agree, it is very cruel. I'm sorry that you had to do that. I also completely understand that that to someone who has never experienced a loss, certain ways of grieving my seem odd. I understand that seeing pics may be uncomfortable for some people. Very few people have seen the pics of my twins and my own children will not see them until they are older and emotionally able to handle it. The only pic I have out is on a shelf behind their urn in my bedroom, and in this pic they were wrapped in blankets and wearing tiny hats. Everyone grieves in their own way, and some do not grieve a miscarriage at all. There is nothing at all wrong with that.

[Austin]

I think forcing anyone to kiss anything dead is wrong. At all times in all places.

[failsafe]

http://razingruth.blogspot.com/2011/12/ ... riage.html

Razing Ruth's post on the Duggar miscarriage - I went back several pages and didn't see it.

[annalena]

I think forcing anyone to kiss anything dead is wrong. At all times in all places.

Forcing anyone to kiss ANYTHING or ANYONE is beyond wrong.