Bro Gary Hawkins 17: Naschitti

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Bite me, Gary.

A slogan to live by! (Or put on a t-shirt.)

52 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

No mention of the nekkid people on the beach? They were in Conway, right? Becky had to have gotten a little beach time out of this trip.

I thought Bro Gary and Sis Becky like to go "to the ocean" rather than the wicked, sinful, beach full of bikini wearing reptobates. Or did I mix them up with some other fundies?

Edited April 12, 2021 by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
clarify

[Alisamer]

7 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I thought Bro Gary and Sis Becky like to go "to the ocean" rather than the wicked, sinful, beach full of bikini wearing reptobates. Or did I mix them up with some other fundies?

Oh, that might be them. But since the places they are most likely to go see the "ocean" at are Myrtle Beach, North Myrtle Beach, Cherry Grove Beach, Ocean Drive Beach, Crescent Beach, Windy Hill Beach, Atlantic Beach, Springmaid Beach, Surfside Beach...

OK some of those are communities rather than actual cities, but still.

Everything's all pretty beach-themed there. Do you think Gary refuses to shop at the Gay Dolphin? (Link goes to the store's website.)

[FiveAcres]

On 4/9/2021 at 8:34 AM, Xan said:

God continues to tell Gary to get off the road and Gary continues refuse to listen.

I have to admit that I am enjoying the fact that Gary's bargain "trail" is such a piece of crap that he has to keep repairing it.

 

(Buffing my nails on my shirt.) @Four is Enough and I were right when we were snarking about the lack of roadworthiness of Gary's van and trailer. 

 

[Xan]

3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I don't think I made it clear in my post, but that wasn't new - it was the way he originally told the story, right after it happened, and I did post that quote when I recapped the first time.  So we've heard it at least twice now, and I think even more - I've lost track, since I hear a lot of the same things over and over from Gary.

I think, in his mind, it's just an adorable line that endears him to all. He seems to feel that way about all of his racist spew about the Navajo people. He's joked unambiguously about them spreading Covid, never being on time, stealing (with the bit about not wanting to leave his trailer with them for fear of never getting his stuff back) and scalping, and has hinted at other bad habits.

And, horrifyingly, he sometimes gets laughs with that crap. I often wish we could see the  congregations for some of this stuff, to see if everyone is on board, or if there are people sitting there with WTF?! on their faces.

Interestingly, while the Navajo folks he's met get their racist crap in the form of jokes, I think Gary differentiates with his other racism. As far as I can tell, in his mind, "Spanish people" (by which I know he means anyone who is from a Latino culture) and "Chahnese" (by which, I figure, he means all Asians) are OK but sort of puzzling. As long as they are "saved," keep cooking for him, and don't give him any guilt about what a racist shit he is, he's fine with them, but  I don't think he sees them as people.

Black people are in a whole other category to him, I  think - sort of scary, and way too demanding, with their expectation that their lives matter. It seems like something in his experience has managed to get through his thick skull that he shouldn't joke about them, at least not while preaching, the way he still does about indigenous people. That's the only thing about his attitude that actually surprises me - Gary strikes me as the type to have and use a whole repertoire of Stepin Fetchit stereotypes from decades ago.

Becky's posting the video of that horrifying William Grady sermon makes me think they both feel that European people were literally God's gift to the world.

But Gary claims anyone residing in the US is part of "his people," and he wants to bring us all to Jesus.

Bite me, Gary.

For those able to get HBO, the mini-series "Exterminate All the Brutes" is excellent.  I binge-watched it last night.  I'd like to tie Gary to a chair and make him watch it over and over again until he understood it.  White supremacy is deep-rooted and lethal.

[Ozlsn]

3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

they both feel that European people were literally God's gift to the world.

I suspect he's not quite that nuanced - he probably differentiates into "real" white people (ie Americans, possibly Canadians/UK, almost certainly English speaking) and "other" white people (non-English speaking, have odd customs, probably heathen if they do speak English). His world boundaries are pretty narrow. 

[AmazonGrace]

Even if they go to church, Czechs, Frenchmen, Danes and whatnot aren't KJB only.

[Four is Enough]

@FiveAcres I believe anyone who has towed a trailer has better knowledge of road worthiness and capability of tow vehicles and trailers. Bro Gary is more of a "use it up and get another one" mindset. Safety be damned. If something breaks, someone (God) will come, rescue us, fix it,and send us on our way. 

[Alisamer]

16 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

@FiveAcres I believe anyone who has towed a trailer has better knowledge of road worthiness and capability of tow vehicles and trailers. Bro Gary is more of a "use it up and get another one" mindset. Safety be damned. If something breaks, someone (God) will come, rescue us, fix it,and send us on our way. 

I think the average 20-year-old working at Uhaul has a better understanding of that than Gary.

That's another thing that annoys me about him. He puts on this "good ole country boy" facade, but shows ALL THE TIME that he knows less than nothing about things that an actual "good ole country boy" would take for granted. I'm going to bring back a grave insult from my high school years. He's such a total poser!

My dad, who grew up as a farmer and has been a mechanic all his life, is from a similar area to Gary, and considers himself an actual "country" person, would look at Gary and say something like "you can tell Brother Gary ain't never got his hands dirty" followed by "he don't know his ass from a hole in the ground". And then probably go on about how all three of his daughters can do just about anything that needs done, because that's what my dad does. 

[FiveAcres]

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

My dad, who grew up as a farmer and has been a mechanic all his life, is from a similar area to Gary, and considers himself an actual "country" person, would look at Gary and say something like "you can tell Brother Gary ain't never got his hands dirty" followed by "he don't know his ass from a hole in the ground". And then probably go on about how all three of his daughters can do just about anything that needs done, because that's what my dad does. 

I have a friend who was a Nebraska farm boy and ended up as a microbiologist. I would never risk discussing politics with him, but damn if I wouldn't trust him for just about anything he is willing to do. He took care of my beloved Thoroughbred while he was convalescing from a serious leg injury and I was going on a long planned vacation. Hap was a very high maintenance horse, and extremely difficult to handle, and the only other person I would have trusted to take care of him was traveling with me. 

[thoughtful]

Video of the Sunday evening service at Gospel Light begins with all droning Constantly Abiding, a condemnation of "Christian rock" from the pastor (Gary comments and moans throughout), then a bit about Adoniram Judson, who "buried three wives that died,"  from the pastor.  He says that, where Judson preached, "the hills are alive with Christians."

Cue Julie Andrews.

Pastor Pridgen goes on about David Edens, who went to "Niger, a country of Muslims and sand." The government "took a print" of his tires, told him they knew he'd driven on sand, and took his vehicle away (don't ask me to explain why sand was relevant, because he doesn't explain it), so he got camels. Because "you can't take a cast of a camel," and he was "constantly abiding" by God. Not one person got saved in eleven years, but they are now. "Can you imagine, eleven years in the sand, and not one person - not one - professed faith in Christ?"

Funny, I didn't find that story when I googled Edens - in this article, he only mentions using camels now and then, after getting out of his Land Rover.

Pastor Pridgen says he and Gary were discussing how sad it is that so few Christians will make those kinds of sacrifices. "They'll answer to the Lord for it, not you, not me."

He rambles a bit about various things, and then gets back to missionaries, talking about someone who left Florida to be a missionary to "the Congo," but their ship sank. They tried again, made it, and four generations of the family have been missionaries there ever since. I can't figure out who that is.

He rambles on about imagining a sort of heavenly version of the Medal of Honor, and the noble people in Foxe's Book of Martyrs, as Gary amens and yeps.

They all sing Take Time to Be Holy, in a few keys. Then the pastor mumbles on for a while about Christians not taking time to be Holy. That's due to the devil.

Becky sings Above the Storm and Preach On, then Gary comes up and tells them that America needs preaching. He says he thinks he's figured out all he plans to say this week, but God may still have some other ideas.

He starts to tell a story about their last gig, and it just bounces wildly: "And, uh, like last week, we was down in Texas, and . . . the prea - the church lost - lost a family, ah guess, since we was there last year. And, um . . . then when ah found out who the family was, they was the ones that had the chicken eggs  . . . they act like we supposed to know that they left 'cause ever'body gossips but not everybody gossips, amen? And, uh, but, we done the tent meeting down there, and uh, so ah said somethin' to the preacher 'n' ah said 'Did anybody out of -' 'cause we had a lot of visitors, ah'm tellin' ya, that was, third year we been goin' there, and it was, under the tent, it was a lot of people came, and we thank God for that, and ya say it was two people talked about comin' to church, and so that was a very good blessing t'hear  - hear what the Lord was doin' on that part, amen? And so, we don't know what the Lord's gonna do this week,  bur we just gonna continue ohn, whatever He does it'll be his will and his way, amen? Romans chapter 12, if ya can yer willin' and able once again open - yeah, open yer Bahbles ya better have 'em open amen,  stand for the readin' of the word of God. Start readin' in verses 1, the Bahble says . . . "

I guess we'll never find out about the chicken-egg people who left the church. I wonder which left first, the chicken or the egg, whether the chicken crossed the road, and why she did so.

Gary never answers the really big questions.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+12%3A1-6&version=KJV

KJV:  So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith.
Bro Gary Version: So we bein' many are one body in Christ, and every member of one of another. Having them gifts differ - differencing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophe - prophecies, let us prophesy according to the portions - ah, prep - propay, pro - hmm - Propituation of thy faith.

"Now ahwanna say, ever'body knows this, but we beginnin' to wonder, in the world we're livin' in, how many people really do know it, but tonight, with the help of the Lord, ahwanna preach ohn The Willa God."

Not to be confused with Willa Cather.

He goes on about being part of the body - we still have preachers and teachers, but no more prophets and apostles. "Some of 'em think they still apostles, what was it, ah was uh there at the meetin' last week an' one of the ladies, uh settin' there was eatin' after church, she said 'Have ya ever bin around Benny Hinn, ya ever bin in the services wi'him?' Ah said 'No, we usually just do it w'me an' mah family, ah don't hang around Benny Hinn' amen, but uh, y'know we got so many different people today that think the willa God for them is not even such a thing anymore."

He talks about how large the pastor's responsibility is, and we get this word coleslaw about an offer he claims he got: "I thank God that uh - you know what, ah thank God that ah'm in the willa God ah had a church to call me, uh. . .  ah don't know, is ah was on the - out West or whatever they called me 'n' ah knew they was lookin' for, well, ah knew that the preacher was gonna resahn, ah matter of fact, ah preached there the Sunday before he resahned 'n' he was on vacation and ah guess that he wanted me ta - ah guess they wanted me to trah to make things look pretty good ah guess when he come back he said 'Ah'm leaving' _________ (several meaningless syllables) not of the resahnin' part or retahrin' or whatever, and . . . he did that! He told 'em, he said 'Ah'm leavin' the church' an' an' it was some situations he called, an' he called me an' he said, 'The church says "What about Gary Hawkinsss? We'd lahk to have him. We want him to come an' be our pasture, we, you know"' and and the preacher said 'Listen, well, you know, he's an evangelist, you know that he's doin' what he's doin'.' They said 'Yeah, we unnerstand that, if we would even see if he's willin' to sacrifice for him to continuously do revahvals and still be our pasture.' An' ah do feel honored that they would do that. But ah'm in the perfect willa God where ah'm at."

If you couldn't follow that (and really, how could you be expected to?), Gary claims a quitting (or possibly retiring) pastor's congregation asked if Gary could be their pastor, and was even willing to let him go off to do revivals as well. But Gary knows that being a wandering evangelist is God's will for him.

He veers off into an old story about warning coming over the radio that everyone should have two weeks worth of food on hand at one point during the pandemic, and how he brushed off Becky's concerns, then gets back to assuring them that Gary Hawkins is in the perfect will of God.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+peter+3%3A9&version=KJV

It is the will of God that everyone gets saved, because (insert the usual list of the tortures endured by Jesus here - well, except that this time, instead of combining "spitten upon" and mocked to get "smocked," he says Jesus was "smitten - mitten."  The rest of this section is all old stuff, as well, including the tadpoles, the old rugged cross, and Gary's salvation date and location.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+peter+4%3A19&version=KJV

KJV: Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.
BGV: Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit keeping their souls to him in well doing, as into faithful creatures.

Most of what he says after this is old bullshit as well, until: "You know what ah think about, ah traveled out in - if ah ever was to haveta come offa the road and go somewhere, ah'd prob'ly go, ah'd prob'ly go and pasture a buncha Indians. Ah was preachin' there two yea - last year, and when ah started - they started - and here's the thing about Indians; they start on Indian tahm. You kin start your services at 6:00 if you want to, that's OK - just don't expect themta.  'N' ah was preachin' and up and to about 20 minutes into mah preachin' 'n' bein' done with the message, they was people still comin' in. It jus' made me wanna go to 3rd and 4th and 5th shift and keep preachin' amen?"

The rest is the usual shit about the lack of good churches.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=hebrews+10%3A25&version=KJV

This is mostly followed by ranting against Covid precautions. "You kin touch mah elbow but you cain't touch mah hand? So help me God, people's crazy."

Later: "But they, you know, they don't wantchu ta touch 'em. And, listen, uh uh that don't bother me, ah mean, if you don't wanna shake mah hand ah'm not gon' get mad atcha, 'at's, 'at's between you 'n' God, ah'm a clean person they was talkin' about today, talkin' 'bout teenagers or whatever, listen, ah don't know, ah many have had a phase in mah life, ah cain't remember that phase, 'n' ah thank God for it, but ah'll  tell ya raht now, before this day's over with, ah'll be takin' three showers, ah believe in bein' clean. But ah believed in bein' clean before Covid-19."

Then the usual riff about people needing to go to church, with snippiness about all of their weak excuses not to do so. The Amazing Grace chimes go off, and Gary notices it this time, and moves on.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+28%3A19-20&version=KJV

On to the bit about converting others, leaving tracts everywhere, preaching to the president of the Navajo nation, wishing he could preach to Biden, Pelosi and "Harrison."

"Now Harrison says that she don't believe in God whatsoever, listen, she goes so far as to say she HATES God."

Citation (and correct last name) needed, Gary. Kamala Harris is a Baptist, and I still could not find any record of her claiming to be an atheist or hate God (which, I'm sure Gary is incapable of understanding, are mutually exclusive).

Of course, Gary would like to see "Harrison" in church, and gets all humble about the fact that lots of people have a non-believing past, rattling off a whole list: "Was we not ______ at one time?" Insert vile, wicked, etc. into the middle.

Was we not men? We was Devo.

Gary talks about the word he's afraid to say, because it sounds like cussing - the dead man's section of the newspaper. Dying, death, last days, per'lis tahms.

Gary claims he told the president of the Navajo nation (he almost says "United Nations," but catches himself) that, instead of closing churches, he should be spreading the gospel, because, when people catch the Covid and die and go to Hell, "the blood's gonna be on our hands."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+timothy+2%3A15&version=KJV

Gary speaks with relish about the persecution he's looking forward to, including having his Bible taken away, and how he wants to know the Bible like old-time preachers like Sammy Allen and "the white-headed guy" they called "the walkin' Bahble."

Sports is makin' him sick, "cause they bowin' down to the government."

Gary says he's about to quit: "Somebody say amen."
Becky: "Amen."
Gary: "Ah figured - the only tahm she says amen is when ah'm  quittin' amen. Fizzinns chapter 6."
Becky: "I'm just being obedient."
Gary: "Yeah,OK obedient ____________ (sarcastic-sounding mumble that I couldn't make out.)"

During this sparkling exchange, so reminiscent of Noel Coward, Gary has failed to tell us the verse, but I find it!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+6%3A13-14&version=KJV

Gary screams about having to "deal with" Catholics for a while, lists some old-time preachers (Carl Lackey, Jack Woods, Jack Hyles), tells them they have to "stand in these last days."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+51%3A1-8&version=KJV

Gary says it's God's will that we be clean. "Now ahwanna say ah believe that a woman ought to dress like a woman and a man ought to dress like a woman."

He has done this quite a few times before, but usually goes right on, or corrects himself. This time he just stops, and Becky and some other people shriek with laughter.

Gary recovers, and goes back to the theme of cleanliness, inside and out.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+9%3A62&version=KJV

Gary says they can't quit.

He says his daddy's favorite uncle didn't go to church, because some other family member stopped going for a while, and "as far as we know, mah daddy's favorite uncle split Hell wahhd open."

Nobody ever seems to just go to Hell, the way Gary tells it - they always seem to split it wide open.

He claims David told Goliath (well, Gary blanks on his name, and just calls him "the giant") "Ah'm comin' to you in the name of Jesus."

And he winds down to whispering level, repeating phrases hypnotically, making it clear that it's all totally sincere, and not a performance at all. ?

 

[thoughtful]

Michael Stout is being a downer on Becky's posts again, but this time I agree with him.

[AmazonGrace]

A man who would only deign to notice other humans if divine voices force him to sounds like an egotistical self-absorbed asshole that all ladies should run away from.

[Alisamer]

13 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

A man who would only deign to notice other humans if divine voices force him to sounds like an egotistical self-absorbed asshole that all ladies should run away from.

Well, taking what she posted totally literally, I'm not sure that guy would survive long enough to notice "the one". Does God warn him about oncoming cars when crossing the street? Does he ignore traffic lights until God whispers "it's green"? Is he SO focused only on God that God has to tell him step by step how to wipe his butt?

Their version of God seems pretty egotistical and micromanaging, TBH. 

[AmazonGrace]

Gonna be pretty hard to earn a living... "Hey Gary, the phone is ringing, why aren't you answering? We are losing a lot of customers if they can't reach us."

"Sorry boss, I didn't notice, I was focused on God,"

...

"Hi Gary, you were supposed to go and do the job at Linda Thompson's house today. Mary Anderson wasn't happy you cut off her water instead." 

"Sorry, boss, but I heard God say that's her."

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

Gonna be pretty hard to earn a living... "Hey Gary, the phone is ringing, why aren't you answering? We are losing a lot of customers if they can't reach us."

"Sorry boss, I didn't notice, I was focused on God,"

...

"Hi Gary, you were supposed to go and do the job at Linda Thompson's house today. Mary Anderson wasn't happy you cut off her water instead." 

"Sorry, boss, but I heard God say that's her."

Hey, maybe that's why Gary doesn't "work a job" any more.

Especially driving a school bus.

Probably a good thing.

[Dana723]

18 hours ago, thoughtful said:

You know what ah think about

Don't be silly, Gary.  We know you don't think.

[forgetmenow]

Gary's fixation on having a revival tent fascinates me,  I'm torn as to whether he believes it boosts salvation odds or if he's aware that he's like that kid in school who brags about getting a coveted video game cause that's the only way he can get other kids to include him.

[Jasmar]

22 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Nobody ever seems to just go to Hell, the way Gary tells it - they always seem to split it wide open.

Silly! How else would we know about the microphone that was lowered into hell so we can hear them all screaming?

[thoughtful]

Monday evening revival service at Gospel Light begins with Pastor Pridgen talking about dead people again. By which he means the unsaved. "The purpose of revival is to get the Christian revived. Dead people don't get revived. Dead people get saved. Once a dead person gets saved then he can experience revival. But you can preach to a dead person all you want about being revived, and he's just gonna sit there with a blank look on his face."

Funny, I thought I was alive.

As the pastor starts talking about Dear Abby, we hear stomping footsteps. Yes, Gary is rudely walking around again:
 

Spoiler

The pastor reads a dear Abby excerpt, which is from a woman who is carrying around a Dear Abby column from 1963, which is now all tattered. Pastor: "I hope her Bible's like that!" ? She asks the current Abby to re-publish it. It's about the definition of maturity.

He goes on to talk about a help wanted sign he just saw at an ice cream shop, that said not to apply if you can't say 'yes sir/ma'am,' come to work on time, or work without a phone in your hand. Gary "Mmmms"s in agreement. Yeah, like arrogant Gary could behave appropriately at a job like that.

Pastor goes on about a talk from Jack Hyles, about the saddest day in American history, the day our leaders stopped looking to the past.

The sing More About Jesus. Pastor whines about modern church music that stirs up the flesh, then Gary moans while someone prays. Pastor mumbles on about God, Jesus, riches, and John Kerry trying to bring peace everywhere, but Trump did a little bit better, but peace only comes from Jesus.

Or something like that.

In announcing a special song, he reverses the names, saying "Miss _________(man's last name) and Brother ________ (woman's last name)," then blames it on Gary's faux pas from the previous night, about how men and women should dress like women.

Instead of letting the singer come up, he drones on for a while more,  about maturity and revival, and I fight the urge to doze off.

Brother whoever introduces the song, I Believe He's Coming Back, and sings it with a recorded, very Country Western sounding accompaniment.

Pastor starts in on Adoniram Judson who lost three wives, again, and says "I think of Nairobi, Kenya . . . a young missionary couple, having to say goodbye, temporarily, to their ten month eight day old baby. I think about that when he steps out of heaven . . ." and the next part is drowned out by Gary and others yelling HAYMEN!  and GLORY! But it's about meeting Jesus (and, I guess, the baby) at the end times.

He asks them to pray for some missionaries in the Philippines and Africa, and tells them American Christians have to stop being like an amoeba, moving whichever way they are pushed.

They sing Revive Us Again, after a guilt-mongering introduction about not backsliding. Becky starts playing after they start singing, and they are in two different keys throughout. She really needs to learn how to play an introduction, and the pastor needs to let her play one.

More guilt-building mumbling from the pastor, about people who stopped coming to church. Gary loves it.

The Hawkinses sing - I fast-forward.

Gary comes up and grumbles about how America's gone down, because there's not enough preaching, and tells them to go out and get people to come to the revival. Also, Donald Trump didn't get much done, because "he had a lotta aversaries." They're letting "aversaries" get to them, too.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+9%3A1-19&version=KJV

Shouted with no expression or phrasing, but with lots of errors, words left out or added, all the "est" ending become "eth," etc.

Gary wants to preach on God's Plan.

As far as I can tell, God's Plan is for Gary to say the same old shit he always says. A few unique moments emerge, though.

Gary says we're depending on money more than we are on God. "We're dependin' on on, and listen hey, it's very easily raht now to depend on money, ya say wha? 'Cause the gov'ment's just handin' it out lahk we got plenty of listen hey, he's just, listen ah'll give ya another thing, and they're even thinkin' about, they're even talkin' about stim'lus number four, ah mean they'll just keep ohn and they'll keep ohn and they'll keep ohn ya say what's gon' happen then? America's gonna go under. You cain't just keep givin' things away."

"You know, you think about millionaires, maybe you know some millionaires, ahmanna letcha know, if you do or don't know a millionaire, lemme tell ya how that millionaire made his millions. He didn't make it bah givin' it away. He made it bah doin' the work that he done, workin' with his hands, and he made that money bah bein' a workin' man. That's how it happens, but today, you can become a millionaire and set at home, amen?"

Gary starts screaming about when he was a child, and a church that was short on money would decide to spend more money, and either give the "pasture" a raise, or take on another missionary. "You say 'that don't make sense!' You're absolutely raht, but when ya depend on Gahd, nothing makes sense!"

Well, for once Gary said something I can agree with. There are murmurs of assent from the congregation - hey, folks, did you actually hear what he said?

Gary hates Walmarts. Walmarts wants robots (this is his conclusion, based on the fact that they have some self-checkout lanes), but God doesn't want robots.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+6%3A16&version=KJV

God wants servants.

Well, that's much better than robots. ?

Gary would like to see the Pope get saved. It's too late for Joseph Smith, but he may have been saved, because, back in the day, even they had some conviction.

He shrieks about how the hands of the saved will be dripping with blood at the Judgment, the blood of all of the condemned that they didn't tell about salvation.

If you have heard about salvation, you can't hide that from God, because, on Judgment Day, God will have a datebook, and point out when you heard it. Gary's concept of God is approaching hoarder status, at this point - He's got a datebook, the Lamb's Book of LIfe, the huge TV screen, all of those bottles of tears, the buckets of Jesus' blood, the trumpet, the throne . . . what am I forgetting?

"There won't be no all-timers in - on Judgment Day. You'll remember everything."

He winds down, getting softer and softer.

Edited April 17, 2021 by thoughtful

[Xan]

16 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Gary wants to preach on God's Plan.

As far as I can tell, God's Plan is for Gary to say the same old shit he always says. 

This is just perfect.  Gary is a one-trick pony.

As for the millionaire comment:  I think that's why they don't want taxes raised on the upper brackets.  The Republicans believe that millionaires started out as working men just like themselves.  I know that there are some self-made millionaires but there's a ton of them that inherited their money from daddy.

As for "God, the hoarder":  He also, according to Gary, has all sorts of restaurants -- or at least He has kitchens -- (all ethnicities!) that He has to keep running.  Gary gots to have his Chah-neeze.

..........

A few minutes ago, Gary posted a video of himself driving at night and listening to some Christian song that he particularly liked.  It's a disturbing video.  The song has inspired him to start emphatically preaching while he drives with lots of shouting and "Hay-mahns".  There are "whews" and "Hallelujahs".  It's just such good music that he starts it all over again.  This is the point at which I stop the video.  I just can't listen to any more Gary.

Spoiler

 

[thoughtful]

14 minutes ago, Xan said:

A few minutes ago, Gary posted a video of himself driving at night and listening to some Christian song that he particularly liked.  It's a disturbing video.  The song has inspired him to start emphatically preaching while he drives with lots of shouting and "Hay-mahns". 

Wow, even by Bro Gary standards, that is frightening. Some if the sick-making effect comes from the weird angle at which Becky (I assume) is filming it, which makes it look like they are driving downward into Hell.

But the idea that there is anyone out on the road doing that is terrifying. He's full-out maniacal.

He bounces around in his seat, takes his glasses off several times, screams non-stop, rocks back and forth, pounds on the steering wheel and dashboard, and has both hands off the of the wheel, and his eyes off of the road, frequently.

Nuts - just totally insane.

 

[Xan]

1 minute ago, thoughtful said:

He bounces around in his seat, takes his glasses off several times, screams non-stop, rocks back and forth, pounds on the steering wheel and dashboard, and has both hands off the of the wheel, and his eyes off of the road, frequently.

If this wasn't Bro Gary, I'd swear that he'd been drinking.  It's that sort of over-the-top behavior that you usually see in someone who has has a few too many.

[thoughtful]

2 minutes ago, Xan said:

If this wasn't Bro Gary, I'd swear that he'd been drinking.  It's that sort of over-the-top behavior that you usually see in someone who has has a few too many.

He's high on God, @Xan!

ETA - all kidding aside, I think he does sometimes get himself into an altered state with this crap - adrenaline, endorphins? Who knows.

Edited April 17, 2021 by thoughtful

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 4/15/2021 at 2:04 AM, thoughtful said:

Michael Stout is being a downer on Becky's posts again, but this time I agree with him.

Considering Becky is a being judgmental, I also don't care he's negative. I wonder if Becky is talking to her own girls or Caleb's girlfriend.

As for flirting, I would think fundies would be into flirting like in old movies. Batting the eyelashes, twirling the hair, etc. 

[Ozlsn]

6 hours ago, thoughtful said:

lemme tell ya how that millionaire made his millions. He didn't make it bah givin' it away. He made it bah doin' the work that he done, workin' with his hands, and he made that money bah bein' a workin' man. That's how it happens, but today, you can become a millionaire and set at home, amen?"

Internet millionaires? I mean I have no idea if Bezos started packing and posting the early orders himself, but the bulk of his success is the platform. Ditto Zuckenburg. Ditto Gates actually. Maybe Bro Gary is upset that even though he posts content he's not making as much money as YouTubers posting puppy content?