Bro Gary Hawkins 17: Naschitti

[thoughtful]

Gary, Becky and Jacob survived their drive. Gary says "Pray we can get it up."

The tent, that is.

[thoughtful]

Clearly, Ike has not been paying attention - this is just one of Gary's hotel-room videos, written down, and he has said all of this in churches many times, as well. Also, they're "messages," Ike, not sermons (or even Sermans).

Spoiler

 

[postscript]

“If you ain’t willing to work if need I wouldn’t consider you a true man of GOD” - Gary has made this point several times in recent posts/sermons (or Sermans). Somehow it never seems to register with him. 

“Get it up” - I’m convinced he sees the tent as an extension of his manhood or Godliness or both. I also really loathe the little tent emoji he always uses, in part because it’s so small it isn’t always obvious what it’s meant to represent. 

Made it through less than two minutes of the car video. It was too much like watching a psychotic break, with Gary screaming his usual religious word salad. He’s lucky he didn’t drive into opposing traffic. 

[thoughtful]

17 hours ago, Xan said:

As for "God, the hoarder":  He also, according to Gary, has all sorts of restaurants -- or at least He has kitchens -- (all ethnicities!) that He has to keep running.  Gary gots to have his Chah-neeze.

Right - very important. The fried fish in the River of Life just happen miraculously, but Gary still expects heavenly Chinese and Mexican people to serve him in the afterlife.

4 hours ago, postscript said:

Made it through less than two minutes of the car video. It was too much like watching a psychotic break

It really was. Even though I am very accustomed to Gary and how he behaves, I was horrified.

If he and Becky are happy endangering themselves, so be it. But I really worry about him causing a serious accident with Jacob in the van, and possibly harming others on the road. I suspect the sideswipe that took out his rear view mirror last year was actually his fault (he blamed the other driver), and he seems to admit that whatever happened to the truck and injured Caleb was his own fault.

Very scary stuff.

 

[Xan]

We know that Gary loves some of the old time preachers who did the shouty, singsong, repetitive preaching.  He's working himself up to that and I believe that he thinks he's getting the hang of it.  Content?  He don't need no stinkin' content.  He just wants to sound like they sounded.

He honestly perceives himself to be a good preacher.  He probably envisions himself as having hundreds of people flocking to his services some day.  Watch out, Billy Graham!  Your legacy isn't safe while Gary Hawkins is on the rise.

I think that video last night was Gary working on his routine.  Of course, he believed it to be sincere but it's still an act.  He practices in the van and he runs the routines in his head as he paces around while other preachers are talking.  And I think Gary is liking what he hears himself say.  No wonder he's more callous and cruel in his comments about Becky and his kids.  He's booking more jobs and getting more compliments.  He starting to get arrogant now.

[thoughtful]

Tuesday night revival service at Gospel Light starts with singing Give me Jesus, then a mumbling prayer from Pastor Pridgen about how America was founded on God, but has gotten away from Him, while Gary moans.

Pridgen tells them he is heartsick about where America is now, in need of a revival of the pulpits, which have gone frigidly cold, with weak-kneed, yellow-bellied preachers. Gary adds his agreement.

He says that, when Christians hear a pastor with a little fire, they can't stand the heat, and wonder if he is an Maritan, from that town  - he mistakenly asks Gary what the town is that had the aliens land - Becky, of course, is the one who answers "Roswell," and needs to say it three times before the pastor pays attention.

Pastor P talks about his tie - I'd show you a picture, but it just looks like a blue tie in the video. But it seems it has a flag and something else on it.

They sing Am I a Soldier of the Cross, after he gives them some guilt about being one. After the song, he talks about gaining courage by staying near people of courage, talks a bit about his military experience, then introduces the couple who are going to sing the special, who are from out of town (I think they are the pastor from the next place Gary is going, and his wife). This exchange takes place:

The husband says he was in the armed forces (I can't catch exactly what he said, but it's clear from the context).

Pastor: "Were you drafted?"
Husband: "Yes."
Pastor (laughs, then): "Example of what I was just talking about. A lady of courage brought a man of weakness to sing for us."

It gets some laughs. Pastor Pridgen continues "Couldn't help that one, Brother - you gave me that one on a platter."

The couple sings My Savior First of All.

Pastor P asks all if there is a particular word they want on their headstone when they die, that would show their relationship to Christ. He wants the word "servant."

They sing Revive Us Again. Again. He reminds them they are going to sing it every night of the revival. After they sing, he says he lost his place in the song at one point, and refers to it as "having a Joe Biden moment."

Becky sings Preach On, for the third night in a row, then Gary comes up.

Gary answers the tombstone question. He wants "It was real to him" on his.

Tonight, Gary is preaching on The Promises of God.

Gary announces Acts, chapter 2, never reads from the Bible, rambles about how God always keeps his promises, then changes the verse to James 4:17.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james+4%3A17&version=KJV

I have no idea why, because he says nothing he hasn't said many times before. Then he grudgingly announces Acts 2 again, and pouts "Let me read this, and move on."

He has them stand, as he usually does for the first reading.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+2%3A37-50&version=KJV

Gary veers off to ask Jacob to remind him of the name of the lady they met who is having back surgery, and to ask prayers for her. Then he gets back to his message, which is all stuff you've heard before.

"God promised He was gonna come as a virgin."

Again I remind you: we all do, Gary.

Gary announces Psalms 103:13, then reads Psalms 102:13. Becky says "No." He realizes his error. He starts to read Psalms 103:13:

KJV: Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.
BGV: Likewise as a father pitches his children, so the Lord pitches  - no, verse 12, ah got that written.

Finally, he reads the 103:12:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+103%3A12&version=KJV

More old Garycrap follows - lots of blood worshing away our sin, and Jesus completely forgetting our sins after we confess them.

I thought a perfect being would have a good memory, but what I do I know.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+29%3A25&version=KJV

While screaming about Jesus napping in the boat while the disciples were terrified of the first-ever hurricane, Gary assures us "Jesus slept," which he knows because the Bible says he did.

I couldn't help thinking of the shortest verse in the Bible - Jesus wept.

Gary screams about how Jesus calmed the storm, then reminds them that, if a hurricane comes to their town, they shouldn't think  that Gary claimed they'd be safe - they should get out of the way. I guess he doesn't want to get sued for his preaching.

Gary imitates complacent saved people, who don't care that the White House is taking away religious rights, by leaning against the wall:

Of course, he's still screaming at the top of his lungs, so it's a strange combination. He gets so enraged he ends his sentence with "now we got a buncha Baptist, yella-bellied HMM." The latter is just an angry growl, like an animal.

He screams about how we wants to "set down in that 'lectric chair, an let 'em pull the - pull that little button, and ah kin have 'lectricity raht before ah go into the Heaven zone."

He is really kinky for that electric chair.

While going on about how he feels safe because of Jesus, Gary lets on that he drove Pastor Will and his wife (the ones who sang) to the church, and that Brother Will's wife was scared because "the van was havin' a little bitta issues."

Wonder if those issues were caused by another crazy episode from Gary.

"She prob'ly ain't prayed lahk she prayed the last 3-4 minutes. She probably right with God now, amen."

Gary is still trying to figure out what horrible fate God was protecting him from by making his trailer axle break, so he was late getting to Conway.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+14%3A1-4&version=KJV

"Ah gotta home in Heaven. Now ah ain't got a home, per se, in the Carolinas. Ah gotta lotta homes, heheh. amen? Ah gotta lotta places ah could go to any tahm ah wanted to. Ya say wha? Because God has given me . . . the key to the places. Amen? Butchu know what? That's mah earthly home."

God has given you squat, Gary - whoever let you in on the fact that gullible churches will give you room and board gave you the key to getting free places to live and eat.

Rich man in Hell, reptobate, and lots of other things we've heard before, including in the last two services.

He says they are ambassadors for Jesus, like Becky is an ambassador for Tupperware. He says she could convince you that it was pretty good stuff, and that it is pretty good stuff, but then says "The lids will not go on the bowls - ah hate them things!"

A woman's voice quietly says "You just don't know how to get 'em on, and Becky says "amen."

Gary throws in his salvation date and place. Because of course he does.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+16%3A19-24&version=KJV

Gary describes Hell in great detail.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=revelation+20%3A11-15&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+16%3A26&version=KJV

Gary proudly tells us he doesn't understand all of the Bible, but he believes all of it.

You better be sure you're saved.

And your money belongs to God.

Gary prays, including saying that he doesn't know why God changed his message tonight, but, if there's someone there who is not saved, or is cold and indifferent, they will change.

 

[Caroline]

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Right - very important. The fried fish in the River of Life just happen miraculously, but Gary still expects heavenly Chinese and Mexican people to serve him in the afterlife.

It really was. Even though I am very accustomed to Gary and how he behaves, I was horrified.

If he and Becky are happy endangering themselves, so be it. But I really worry about him causing a serious accident with Jacob in the van, and possibly harming others on the road. I suspect the sideswipe that took out his rear view mirror last year was actually his fault (he blamed the other driver), and he seems to admit that whatever happened to the truck and injured Caleb was his own fault.

Very scary stuff.

 

He looks and sounds  unbalanced.  I'd probably call some mental health authority if I saw someone acting like that.  How do people go to churches where the preacher screams and shouts and not have a headache?  Who chooses that life and that faith?  I just don't get it.  

[Ozlsn]

35 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

The husband says he was in the armed forces (I can't catch exactly what he said, but it's clear from the context).

Pastor: "Were you drafted?"
Husband: "Yes."
Pastor (laughs, then): "Example of what I was just talking about. A lady of courage brought a man of weakness to sing for us."

It gets some laughs. Pastor Pridgen continues "Couldn't help that one, Brother - you gave me that one on a platter."

What. The. Hell?

I'd have been tempted to invite that idiot to talk about his military service. 

38 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Pastor P asks all if there is a particular word they want on their headstone when they die, that would show their relationship to Christ. He wants the word "servant."

How about "poor example of Christianity?" Too many words? 

41 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Gary answers the tombstone question. He wants "It was real to him" on his.

Gary accurately describes his reality.

[AmazonGrace]

Oh I love it... "Which humblebrag do you want for your gravestone?"

"He prayed he could get it up"

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

 

"He prayed he could get it up"

Spoiler

 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks Bro Gary is totes upset, another Church is closing the doors!  They can’t find a Pastor Pasture to wrangle the flock because no one wants to work for free.  Gary says if you won’t work your not a man of God . ( there goes another one of @thoughtful‘s irony meters).  It sounds like they tried getting a Pasture from the Bible school but damn those guys want a paycheque and to preach doctrine that’s not totally off the wall.  Gary, maybe the churches are closing because nobody wants your flavour of BS.

Spoiler

 

You’re not your!  Stupid spellcheck.  Since the last update I can’t correct my posts!

[FiveAcres]

1 hour ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

OK Folks Bro Gary is totes upset, another Church is closing the doors!  They can’t find a Pastor Pasture to wrangle the flock because no one wants to work for free.  Gary says if you won’t work your not a man of God . ( there goes another one of @thoughtful‘s irony meters).  It sounds like they tried getting a Pasture from the Bible school but damn those guys want a paycheque and to preach doctrine that’s not totally off the wall.  Gary, maybe the churches are closing because nobody wants your flavour of BS.

  Hide contents

 

You’re not your!  Stupid spellcheck.  Since the last update I can’t correct my posts!

Help me out here. Why cant' Bro Gary pastor this church for free?

See! Problem solved. 

Edited April 19, 2021 by FiveAcres
Typo. I swear they breed like roaches.

[FeministShrew]

Oh shit! Whiteville is less than an hour away from my new town. If I had known...nah, I'm not gonna lie. Definitely would not drive an hour to hear Bro Gary scream & moan, even for snark. 

[thoughtful]

The Wednesday evening video from the revival at Gospel Light starts with Gary bellowing HAYMUN! It seems that Pastor Pridgen has just asked a question, and wasn't satisfied with anyone's answer (except for Gary's, of course). He asks (I assume, re-asks), whining: "Do we have anybody here tonight, that's happy that you're saved?"

Loud screams of Amen follow, and Pridgen says, "Thank you. Why do ya have to beat a Baptist like ya do a bad dog t'get 'em to say anything?" Such a lovely image.

As the pastor goes on to ask "how many of you know something tonight? What do you know?" we hear Gary yawning loudly. He and the pastor have an exchange of what Gary "knows," that I'm sure you can all figure out.

The sing I Know the Bible is True,  then Pridgen gets into one of those "you know that you know that you know  . . ." cycles, and prays while Gary moans. He introduces the next song, The Winning Side, by asking them to picture some old-timey preacher who sang it when he was dying of cancer.

The singing is to prepare them to receive a message, and Pridgen can't understand how the soul could receive a message after listening to wordly music. 

Brother Will and his wife come up to sing. Pridgen asks if Will is her prompt, mumbles something else, then says "You know what I like about you folks? Nothin'."

WTF do these shitbags think this stuff is funny?

Will and his wife sing All Because of His Amazing Grace, amazingly badly.

Pridgen comes up and talks about someone who pulled the "you know what I like about you" gag (if it can be called that) on him, years ago, along with some other insulting teases. Pridgen says he was the most Christ-like man he ever knew.

OK, telling it on yourself, while still stupid, is at least not mean. He mumbles on for a while, then they sing Revive Us Again, yet again. Pridgen talks about Lester Roloff and the blood of Jesus for a while, then the Hawkinses sing, and Becky sings Preach On again.

Gary does his last-night thank-yous. Gary lists all of his themes from the last four services, then forgets to tell us what tonight's theme is. He rambles about people at the coast being more interested in the beach then God, and announces a chapter, but not the verse. I find it:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+18%3A15-20&version=KJV

KJV: But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
BGV: But if he will not hear thee, then take it - take with thee one or two witnesses, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be extablished.

KJV: let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
BGV: let him be unto thee as an heuther man and a publican.

Gary's theme is God's Place.

Sounds like a bar, Gary.

He gets the sisters Mary and Martha backwards, again says that David slew Goliath "in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ," and babbles on about many things that have no relationship to one another, and that we've heard before.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+5%3A21-24&version=KJV

Gary says you have to walk with God, just like it says in the 23rd Psalm:"The Lord is my shepherd ah shall not want, he maketh me to walk in green pastures."

Every word is precious, eh, Gary?

He tells us about a young woman who got saved at the camp meeting who is still "glowing" from it. Sounds scary.

The next reading is one verse - Proverbs 22:19.

KJV: That thy trust may be in the Lord, I have made known to thee this day, even to thee.
BGV: "That they that trust - they that trust may be in the Lord, I have made known to thee this day, even to thee. They that - they - lemme learn how ta read, help me out a little, amen. That they - That thy truth - "
Becky: "Trust"
Gary: "Thy trust may be in the Lord."

If I understand what he says after that, I think the mini van broke down, again, the day before or the day of this service, but God got them going again.

Gary claims that people tell him he should write a book about his time on the road. ?

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah+15%3A16&version=KJV

God's place is the 1611 KJV.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel+3%3A19-25&version=KJV

Lots of errors. To get into God's place, be obedient. Carry lots of tracts and give them to everybody.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Daniel+6%3A10&version=KJV

Buddha and Mohamed are in Hell, burnin' lahk sausage.

As ever, he blames the Communism and Socialism we have in the White House now on people getting too complacent to pray because they were so happy when Trump was in office. He has a "fevrid" prayer. He tells us that three times, while whining about people who don't want to come to church.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+5%3A18-20&version=KJV

God's place is "bein' filled with God."

Gary rants against Christian rock - there's no such thing, of course.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+corinthians+15%3A57&version=KJV

More crap about soulwinning.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+peter+3%3A8-9&version=KJV

Gary starts a verse earlier than he announces.

You'd better make sure you're saved.

[Black Aliss]

Just when I think I'm starting to pick up a smattering of Ween-ese (Sadly, Duolingo does not offer it) Gary comes up with something that I can't make any sense of: 

Quote

Sad day also the so call college are tell my way or highway and a big check.

 

[AmazonGrace]

My guess is Gary has got the sad because the so called colleges these days require students to learn  too many pesky  facts their way and they don't teach nearly enough nonsense  in Gary's way. And tuition costs actual money which he is bitter about because he hasn't got any.  

Did  Jacob wish to enroll in a college to study something?

Or else he is still mad about college educated pastors who want to get paid for their work at a church.

Edited April 19, 2021 by AmazonGrace

[thoughtful]

57 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Or else he is still mad about college educated pastors who want to get paid for their work at a church.

This is it. He complains often about this - in fact, it is part of all of the hotel-room videos about churches needing pastors.

I think that, in Gary's world, it's a given that the types of colleges that teach medicine, science, the arts, etc. are horrible hellholes of commie pinko influence, teaching things that actually help living humans here on earth, or open the mind to the possibility that there are other joys in life besides knowing that your sins are covered by the blood.  I doubt he would even talk about those to his listeners, assuming they all feel the same.

He's talking about so-called Christian colleges, seminaries for training pastors, etc. They are  teaching young men that they can demand that things be done their way, and that working as a pastor will include a living wage.

 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Yeah, I think Gary is 100% against any and all secular education period, ever. However, I think Gary has some issues and insecurities about being uneducated even by fundie standards. I have heard old timey preacher and fundie Baptists speak. They don't speak like Bro Gary

Brp Gary is just in a word all of his own. 

Edited April 19, 2021 by Pecansforeveryone
Add a word

[3splenty]

I started thinking about pastors being paid and was thinking about the pastor at my church.  We are part of a dual parish, so two churches.  He does counseling (not just the "pray it away" variety), conducts weekly services/bible classes in church and long term care facilities, does midweek classes, bible studies, sits with the dying (and their families), takes call for other pastors in our area, does maintenance at the churches, helps with youth groups, orders supplies, and more.  He also supports and encourages education for all.  He loves questions.

Gary wants no responsibility but all of the offerings.  I think he is jealous of, or even feels threatened by, educated people.  

[Ozlsn]

18 hours ago, thoughtful said:

WTF do these shitbags think this stuff is funny?

I get that humour is cultural but this is just weird to me. It's not amusing insults, or mock insulting going both ways..  it's pretty much just the pastor insulting people , and because it's being done by a perceived authority figure it's also bullying. If the veteran felt offended by the pastor insulting him being drafted then he doesn't have a lot of room to say that. I don't know how the pastor would have responded if the veteran had come back with "better than running to Canada like you!", but I don't imagine particularly well. 

I think that more than anything is what rubs me the wrong way here - it's not humourous when it's one person punching down from a position of authority, and when it feels mean-spirited.

7 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Did  Jacob wish to enroll in a college to study something?

I really hope he manages to do that. Study a trade, study for fun, find a stable career path he loves. Watch his father's head explode. 

[Ozlsn]

2 hours ago, 3splenty said:

Gary wants no responsibility but all of the offerings.  I think he is jealous of, or even feels threatened by, educated people.  

Threatened by, definitely. What I find amusing is that he could offer to pasture the church for love offerings and stay at the same income level with fewer expenses. But then he'd actually have to form longer-term connections, and take some responsibility for things - and Gary is all about not doing that.

[thoughtful]

Have a bunch of used to be.

The video of the Sunday morning revival meeting (under the tent!) begins with the Pastor (William Schalk, I think) droning on about the schedule and the Bible.

"There's never been a time in history when Jesus Christ has not been in existence."

I guess he subscribes to Gary's free-flowing approach to chronology. Pastor Who?

Gary contributes some quiet amens, then his signature HAYMUN!

Brother Will, expressing hopes that people will come to the revival, says some people have called him to find out where they are, and jokes that he doesn't know how far away they are, but they can always fly in. He says someone nearby owns a landing strip, and they can always apologize later for using it.

Hahaha. ?

After a prayer, they sing My Savior's Love. Gary wanders off:

Spoiler

He returns at the end of the song. Imagine how he'd treat someone in the congregation who did that, or Jacob.

Brother Will sings Oh, I Want to See Him. Guiding souls to the crimson flow! Gary fidgets constantly, looking around and probably regretting having come back. He gets up and slips through the tent opening right behind the pastor:

Spoiler

He comes back, carrying a jacket, in time for the next song, The Old Account Was Settled. Pastor asks people to "brag on the Lord." One person does (I can't hear what he's saying), then the pastor drones on for a while, and turns things over to Gary.

The Hawkinses sing, then Becky sings Preach On, while Gary wanders and fidgets. Gary comes up, and urges them to take flyers for the revival and give them out, even if they don't feel comfortable doing so: "When yer not used to doing something, and it comes away from yer comfort zone, ah know that kin git a little bit flustrating, but, y'know what, it does our flesh good once in a while, amen?"

In the middle of a wandering, fragmented speech about who-knows-what, Gary calls one of the pastor's female relatives "Miss Will" - Will is the pastor's first name. As all laugh, he makes reference to his error from the previous revival, about men dressing like women, then says: "Ah proved mah manhood yesterday - ah got this tent up, amen?"

Hey, at least he admits it!

He refers to Pridgen's question about what you want on your tombstone. He pretty much remembers what he said: "It was real. It was real to Gary Hawkins. What he preached, what he lived, was real, to him."

I don't think they can fit all of that, Gary.

While he's saying this, Jacob is trying to do something with his microphone (I don't know why - Gary sounds like his voice is coming through the speakers, to me). This finally breaks Gary's concentration. As Jacob loops something around his neck, he says "Yer gonna choke me." He cracks a joke about "wires and rumors of wires," which he must have stolen from someone  - I can't imagine Gary being that witty.

After a long guilt-mongering ramble, Gary asks them to "Bear with me, because ah got a few verses ah wanna read, for the sake of the part of the message."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=joshua+24%3A1-28&version=KJV

This very long reading is done in Gary's usual loud, expressionless fashion, with no sense that he knows what the words mean, and many errors.

KJV: And Joshua gathered all the tribes of Israel to Shechem, and called for the elders of Israel,
BGV: And Joshua gathered all the tribe of Isrl together -  all the tribe of Isrl to  - Sheeshm, and called them elders of of for of Isrl

KJV: I sent Moses also and Aaron, and I plagued Egypt, according to that which I did among them: and afterward I brought you out.
BGV: I sent Moses also and Aaron, and I plagued - uh, plagued Egypt, according to that which he did according  among themse - among them, and afterwards I brought you out.

"In 2021, we still got a jallous God."

He still thinks that "peachy" is a word only used in Michigan. I would love to know how that little weirdness got into his brain.

Gary escalates to screaming repetitive riffs.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+3%3A1-5&version=KJV

That "substil" serpent again.

Gary talks about TV evangelists, then says: "Anybody know anything about rat poison?"

He tells them that rat poison is only 10% bad, the rest is to make it appetizing to the rats. I guess that's like the serpent, or TV evangelists.

Also Steve Anderson.

Also lots of other people, who he warns them about at length.

He goes back and re-reads some of Joshua that he already read.

If anyone gossips against your "pasture," tell them to shut up.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+34%3A1&version=KJV

Gary mentions his singing along with the new CD he likes, and Becky videoing it. He said it was because he "got to thinkin' just how good God is."

Gary says, besides what he first payed for his trailer, he's put over $1000 into it. "You say wha would you bah somethin' you gotta put money in, well, ah'd rather have somethin' ah put money in and know what it is before ah buy somethin' ah have no idear what it is. That's just the way ah am."

Did everybody follow that logic? No? Me either.

He now says he had three flat tires in the space of an hour, during his drive from Texas. Last I'd heard, it was two. Sounds like they were all on the trailer, not the car - Becky and Jacob left Gary on the side of the road, with the trailer, while they went to get tires.

Then he rambles on about someone from the  area where he was stranded who gave him advice about (about where to go for further repairs, I guess - it's not clear).

And Gary cites all of this as signs that God is good. Really? Sounds to me like lots of other people were being good and solving your problems for you, as usual, Gary.

Gary says he'd lost more than 75 pounds, but has gained a little of it back.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+29%3A18&version=KJV

Gary thinks he has a better vision for some places he visits than the people who live there. But he's not braggin' on that - it's just Jesus.

Gary talks about how hard it is to get the tent up. He left out a section that makes it larger this time, because, if he puts up the full size - "ah need more help to git it up."

My inner 12-year-old rejoices.

After some drivel about the teenager that apologized to her daddy after their tent meeting in Florida (with a side comment about how rare it is for a teenager to do that, and how he's still waitin' on Jacob to apologize to him), Gary loses his train of thought completely, so he returns to the Bible.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+16%3A13-16&version=KJV

Gary gets on a "God is able" tear, and makes God sound horrible and vicious, not healing all of the people Gary believes He easily could.

Gary veers off into talking about how he gave up Dr. Pepper three years ago, and loses track of his train of thought, again.

Back to spending $1000 on the trailer, but it's God's money.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+15%3A11-16&version=KJV

Again, Mr. Take the KJV Literally tells us that the Prodigal Son left because he hated following rules. Show me that in the Bible, Gary.

And he goes off on the usual crap about bad influences. Gary says he knows of a girl who got a cell phone without her father's permission, and "ya know what happened? Within a month, she was gone."

While telling us about the pornography that "jumps up" on his phone ("ah sometimes don't have to hit no button, and things pop up"), which makes him take the phone immediately to Becky to deal with it, Gary says "You know wha Nancy Pelosi's hahdin' her laptop? 'Cause there's things on there she don't want American people to know."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+15%3A15-18&version=KJV

KJV: Yea, and we are found false witnesses of God; because we have testified of God that he raised up Christ: whom he raised not up, if so be that the dead rise not.  For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised:  And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.
BGV: Yea, and we are found faultless witness - false witnesses of God; because we have testified that - of God that he raised up Christ: whom he raised not up, if so be that He - that the dead rise not.   And if Christ be not risen, your faith in vain; yea and yet in your sins.

Gary says he'd still want to live his same life, even if he didn't believe in an after life, because the world only offers the "fun" of pukin' yer guts out over the commode after getting drunk.

He says he has gotten higher on God that he ever could on weed, and that he passed Cloud 9 in the car the other day, and was just about in Heaven.

Gary, there is a reason people are not supposed to drive while intoxicated.

Bahden, "Harrison" and the governors think they're in control, but God is.

He starts screaming about someone, who he calls "an idiot," who answered his weekly post asking if people will be in church by saying he'd rather street preach. Gary must have deleted his comment, because it's not there now.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+16%3A26&version=KJV

Make sure you're saved. Eternity's a long time. The rich man is in Hell.

Edited April 19, 2021 by thoughtful

[Seahorse Wrangler]

7 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

 

Or else he is still mad about college educated pastors who want to get paid for their work at a church.

Something workman something worthy reward

[thoughtful]

On 4/17/2021 at 9:41 PM, Ozlsn said:

I'd have been tempted to invite that idiot to talk about his military service. 

 

4 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

I don't know how the pastor would have responded if the veteran had come back with "better than running to Canada like you!

Not that it makes his insulting teasing any less obnoxious, but Pastor Pridgen had, in fact, been a career military man. I think I mentioned that he'd just been talking about something he did in the Air Force right before this happened. That's how asking Pastor Will if he'd been drafted came up in the first place - it was hard to hear, but I think Will had just said he'd also served. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

Even among rough-and-tumble tough guys in a bar, I'd consider it eye-roll worthy. But, between two pastors (the victim of the joke was the pastor of the church Gary's at this week, who was visiting and singing), it's really idiotic, and a terrible example, for the flock, of how to treat other people.

But then, Pridgen also said that the man who teased him with insults when he was a young preacher was the most Christlike person he'd ever met. I guess he thinks that picking away at people with mean stupid comments is an expression of God's love.

A lot of these pastors seem to be like this. It's very bizarre to me.

BYW, if you only listened to his tone of voice, and not his words, Pridgen would be the anti-Gary. He's so soft-spoken and gentle-sounding that he could really lull someone into a stupor.

His musical style of speaking may be very different, but his content is just as nasty.

4 hours ago, Seahorse Wrangler said:

Something workman something worthy reward

My brain always plays this verse back to me in Sidney Poitier's voice, since I've seen Lilies of the Field so many times!

Edited April 20, 2021 by thoughtful
clarity

[Xan]

I watched a bit of last night's Bro Gary video, @thoughtful.  It didn't sound like many people were there. 

Gary says, besides what he first payed for his trailer, he's put over $1000 into it. "You say wha would you bah somethin' you gotta put money in, well, ah'd rather have somethin' ah put money in and know what it is before ah buy somethin' ah have no idear what it is. That's just the way ah am."

Did everybody follow that logic? No? Me either.

I think most of us looked at the picture of that trailer and decided pretty quickly that it was a thrown-together piece of crap.  Discerning Gary saw it in person and plunked down his grifted money for it.  Now, he's just doubling down on the certainty that it's perfect because he can't admit he doesn't know anything about trailers.

Gary thinks he has a better vision for some places he visits than the people who live there. But he's not braggin' on that - it's just Jesus.

I'm beginning to think that any time he says "it's not Gary, it's Jesus", that deep inside he's pretty sure it's just Gary.

Gary says he'd still want to live his same life, even if he didn't believe in an after life, because the world only offers the "fun" of pukin' yer guts out over the commode after getting drunk.

All the world offers is puking your guts out after drinking?  I must be doing life wrong.

..........

Becky got a comment from the minister's wife on her page.  I looked at the wife's page and she made a couple of posts about how she needed prayers.  It's something about them being in a "huge jam" and really needing God's help.  I hope they weren't counting on Gary to swoop in and help them get some more church members.  I once heard this remark and it's appropriate here, "He's too leaky a vessel to put much faith in."