Bro Gary Hawkins 17: Naschitti

[postscript]

“Offensive” doesn’t even begin to describe the content of that gritting commercial, er, message. That missionary makes it sound like Papua New Guinea is full of headhunters and cannibals living in grass huts. It’s his personal version of John Shrader’s African fantasy. He’s in for a few surprises when he gets there. And he really plans to learn their language and culture? Sure, Jan. 

[Antipatriarch]

3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

The next thing we hear is: "He's goin' off to what's called a Sing Sing, it's just a sexual dance to appease the spirits. Because everything they do is dictated by fear. Stark, raving, maddening fear. They're always worried about these spirits hurting them, harming them, making them sick - it's a very sad, sad picture."

And another irony meter goes in the trash.

Wow. Just... wow.

[Ozlsn]

3 hours ago, postscript said:

And he really plans to learn their language and culture?

I laughed out loud at that part because, well... PNG is pretty linguistically and culturally diverse. I'm assuming he means he'll learn Tok Pisin or Hiri Motu rather than one of the 800+ indigenous languages.

There is a really interesting book called "Lost in Shangri-La" by Mitchell Zuckoff that looks at a plane crash in the highlands of PNG in WW2. There were three American crash survivors who ended up living with the local inhabitants for several months while the US military tried to work out how to retrieve them (very steep hills, no road access). What really intrigued me about the book was that the cultural assumptions being made about the Americans by the highlanders and vice versa were infallibly wrong in both directions. Smiling meant something completely different to happiness or friendliness depending on context. The underlying worldviews were completely mutually incomprehensible- the reason they were able to be translated in the book was a son of missionaries who arrived in that valley post-WW2 and who grew up multi-lingual and (importantly) bicultural was able to explain what both sides were interpreting signals to be and what they actually were. 

PNG is likely to be a major culture shock, not least because well... 800+ languages, and even with considerably more contact between different groups there is still a very wide range of cultural groups (800+ even). Port Moresby is not the same as The Ok Tedi region is not the same as the Bismark sea islands is not the same as the western highlands is not the same as the Torres Strait etc etc. I really hope this guy gets support (and some better cultural translation!!)

Also the Sing Sing festival(s) are pretty amazing - my brother was fortunate enough to attend one and the diversity of culture is incredible. Any perceived sexuality appears to be a projection by missionaries of European background as far as I can tell.

 

[Xan]

6 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He goes on to read from the Bible and preach, but I need to stop - between the skipping video, the machine noise, and the offensive content, I need a break. If someone else wants to give it a try, from about the 16 minute mark, here it is:

I'm giving it a shot. He's easier to listen to than Bro Gary but that doesn't mean he's good.  The quality of the video is terrible.

God uses men and women.  He says he's not a preacher but many of the people in the Bible weren't preachers either.  Women can witness to others because the Holy Spirit that dwells in you is male.  No shit.  He said that.

The pulpit is working for him because it's upright.  God wants his servants to be upright.  He's yelling so loud that he's made some baby start crying.  He's still going on about doing right and being upright.  He talks about having the right kind of fear and gives the example of following the speed limit because he fears getting a ticket or getting into an accident.  You are fearing the correct things.  Now he's skipped on to "God has his favor on the upright".   "The upright man has peace."  (I'm beginning to think this sounds like a drinking game where you take a swig every time someone says "upright".)  "The upright man delights God.  Who would not want to put a smile on God's face?"  Oops.  Now he's gone even shoutier.  "Most Christians don't care what God thinks!"  Apparently, he thinks he ran from God and God had to break his back in order to turn him towards the right.  (Now I'm thinking about what a nasty deity one might be who would break a back to get devotion.)  

Too many people are carrying extra weight and the weight of worrying about things of the world.  Caring too much about the world is a sin.   (I think this is what he said.  The video keeps breaking up.  For example, he's talking about wanting to be in the Green Berets and all of a sudden he's reading a passage of scripture.)  

A just man falls but he gets back up.  (Good to know.  Do the unjust just lay on the ground after they fall?  That would make them easier to spot.  Just sayin'...)  A just man has scars and bruises because he's in a fight for the Lord.  "A just man is going to get wounded."  

You can be a good Christian and get wounded in "the good fight" or you can stand by and watch other people do the fighting.  (I know which one I'd pick.)  He says that soldiers who win medals often get wounded.  He himself was wounded but has also gotten wounded by doing "stupid stuff".  There will be scars from doing spiritual battle.  (We spot Gary walking around outside the tent.  The back just blew up a little in the wind and he might be trying to fix it trying to figure out how to tell Jacob to fix it.)  Every fighter has some wounds.

Now he reads "a poem by a woman, Amy Carmichael".  It's about Jesus' wounds.  Then this guy starts yelling about how Jesus has nails in his palms and shouldn't we be willing to be wounded as well?  He's as fixated as Bro Gary about Jesus' blood.  He says when we face Christ, he's going to roll up his sleeves and show us where the nails went into his hands.  (Why??)  Same for the feet.  (This guy thinks Jesus is going for performance art.)    Jesus is going to show us where the Romans "took and swung that hammer..."  Ick.  This guy likes gore.  

Every day spend some time on your knees talking to God and spend time reading the Bible and let the Holy Spirit move you.  "Is the ground underneath you holy?"  Now we're on to the story about the wise man building his house on rock and the foolish man building his house on sand.  He says the foolish man picked building on sand because it looked easier.  Wise man decides to build on rock even though it would take a "whole lot more time."  (Methinks he's taking this entirely too literally.)   The wise man knows that the storm is going to come.  "Man is born to trouble as sparks fly upward."  

Now he's talking about some other traveling preaching/singing couple (Mr. and Mrs. Danny Hall)  that he used to hear when he was growing up.  They tried to have a baby for years but couldn't conceive until the wife was older.  The baby dies at birth.  They have no money but the dad carves the baby's name on wood himself and digs the grave himself.  They go back a year later to visit the grave.  "Punk kids" had recently destroyed the grave markers with baseball bats.  (Where is he going with this??)  Video breaks up.   We get back and he's saying, "What are you building on?  Are you building on the sand or the rock?"  

He thinks it's a lot easier to build a church on worldly music and on Bibles that are not "God's book".  That would be building on sand.  I guess the KJV and the old hymns are like building on rock.  If you're faithful to God, you're "faithful to the right things".  Gary has been Amen-ing though this last little speech.  "Daniel whatever-chapter-it-was says..."  and there it ends.  

Whew.  Those are some Bro Gary level loose connections there.  I don't think the tent brings out the best preachers.

 

[forgetmenow]

On 6/27/2021 at 2:13 PM, thoughtful said:

In the ministry, "you gotta be servants."

"You say 'whataya mean bein' a servant?' Well, ya remember there when Martha and Mary was over there, 'n' one of 'em serve - worshiped God, and the other was uh uh cookin' for 'im t'gettin' ready, 'n' they both got jallous, amen? 'Well, wha don'tchu tell her ah need some help wha'on'tchu - wha'on'tchu - y'know hey' - ah'm just sayin' listen hey servant! Have a servant's heart."

I love this so much because it's the Biblical account is the exact opposite of the point Gary's trying to make. 

[thoughtful]

Pastor Crawley (whose wife, let us not forget, had a gran mal seizure yesterday, and who has a church revival, a furniture store and works for an electrician) was busy on Facebook today:

Spoiler

BTW, all of the posts between the one about the FBI and these, and several after them, were ads for Tupperware. I don't know if Marie also sells it, or he was just helping Becky out in return for her puppy endorsement.

The video from yesterday evening, under the tent at Solid Rock Baptist Church in Gouldsboro ME, begins with Gary talking about (I think) Satan: "But ya better be glad he does fight now and then amen?  But just remember, he's the loser. We're the winners, he's the loser - amen?"

He goes on to announce the reading. While they are turning pages, he asks them to continue to pray for Marie, and says she's doing better.

Video is still skipping, but the sound is somewhat better - there's still a lot of background noise, but I think it's mostly traffic. This tent idea is so stupid.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+16%3A17-31&version=KJV

Among his many errors and additions:

KJV:  And brought them to the magistrates, saying, These men, being Jews, do exceedingly trouble our city
Bro Gary Version:  And brought them the - to the magistrates, saying, These men, being Jews, do extremely trouble the city. That's what we need to do - trouble this city amen?

KJV: And teach customs, which are not lawful for us to receive, neither to observe, being Romans.
BGV:  And teach customs, which are not lawful for us, and there we're in them days,  amen. To receive, neither to observe, being Romans.

KJV:  And the multitude rose up together against them: and the magistrates rent off their clothes, and commanded to beat them.
BGV:  And the multitude rose up together again. Them: and the magistries went off their clothes, and commanded to beat them.

While telling them that being a Christian won't be easy, Gary says "Ever'thin's not gonna be what ah heard a man say the other day, for the first tahm, ah said, he said 'peachy.' Ah said 'Well man, you must be from uh - Michigan,' he said 'No, ah just - uhuh that's just a word ah come up with' or whatever, 'n' every'thing, but things ain't always gonna be easy 'n' good."

Becky, please explain to Gary that "peachy" is not a term only used in Michigan.

With the help of the Lord, just for a few minutes, Gary want to preach on What's Goin' On.

Gary screams for a while about hoping people will drive by and wonder what's goin' on in the tent.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=exodus+14%3A21-23&version=KJV

Gary zooms through this, misreading most of it, and goes right into what he has to say, so the end of the reading. into his babble, comes out like this:

"Even Fay-roh's horses and chariots, and his horses hey so number one here what's goin' ohn, ah mean hey he mentioned a little bit 'bout sand and hard rock this mornin' an' the solid rock an' all those things listen hey, ah don' know ah'm sure maybe ya uh a little bit different beach up here ya got rock an' rather sand an' we got it down South 'n' whatever but y'know what - what  how in thee world are you gonna turn sand inta rock? How in the may - listen hey we cain't really do that ah mean ah know you can mix it up with mortar an' you can make concrete 'n' all that kinda stuff but ah'm talkin' 'bout just pure sand, nothin' but sand, the Red Sea,  anahwahnna say sumpin' to ya that was listen, ya talkin' about a miracle? That's a miracle ya say wha? Because G-  anything can happen  with God, amen?"

The idea of calmly saying "The water parted, the sand turned to solid rock. It was a miracle from God" would never occur to Gary.

He screams on for a while about enemies and hardships, being on the road with seven children, God's got money, he's never been in quicksand, he hates the beach but Becky loves it so he takes her down there.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=exodus+14%3A26-32&version=KJV

After tearing through this at top, reading-a-shopping-list speed, Gary tells us our enemies are defeated. And, in his eloquence, he goes on:

"It may it may not look like it, y'know, some of them - we was talkin' about somethin' the other day somebody or whatever but  - y'know, ah mean, all these people listen hey - people that are goin' to Hell, they're gettin' bah raht now, they think. Amen?"

"You look at what's goin' on at the White House - they ain't none of 'em thinkin' 'bout God. You say 'How do you know?' People that think about God don't do the the things that they're doin' amen? They don't just - people that are thinkin' about God do not go around and trah to destroy things, amen?"

Gary flips into his "ah'm not making light of the Covid" crap. Brother MIke Saunders and Brother Eubanks just died in the past week, and "they say it's of the Covid."

The devil is after them - "he started with the sound system, he started with Marie." Gary says he understands about family members (understands what? That they're upset about Marie's seizure? Thanks, Gary). And he launches into the story about Caleb burning himself, saying it was "the other day" (it was months ago, IIRC). Gary explains that he stayed in Arizona, because he couldn't do anything for Caleb anyway, and our focus should be on the church and saving lost souls.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+17%3A49-51&version=KJV

Again, rushed, emotionless, and with errors, of course. Oh, and FLISteen.

God had to be involved in it, because Goliath fell forward, not backward, after the stone hit him in the forehead.

He tells them they have to focus on the lost people all this week, not the sound system or having enough gas for the generator.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Kings+17%3A14-16&version=KJV

Gary goes into a "God supplies your every need" riff. Of course, we could all go any day, these being the end times and all, but, in the meantime, God will supply.

He tells them about the vehicles God provided for him, and how, when the Dodge van broke down, the pastor sent someone to pick him up, which was, of course, God taking care of him.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel+37%3A1-14&version=KJV

Loud, expressionless and full of errors, of course.

"We need revahval. The White House ain't gonna give it to us."

Gary is screaming about the end times. "Oliver B. Greene said we were in the last hours, an' ahwahnna say ah think we're in the last secondsss."

And the video cuts off.

Now that's closer to a miracle than anything you were talking about, Gary.

 

 

[thoughtful]

7 hours ago, postscript said:

He’s in for a few surprises when he gets there.

He's already been there, and he still thinks like this.

3 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

Tok Pisin or Hiri Motu rather than one of the 800+ indigenous languages.

He does mention that there are many languages spoken there - I don't know which he is claiming he plans to learn.

 

1 hour ago, Xan said:

He's yelling so loud that he's made some baby start crying

Probably his own - you'd think she'd be used to it by now. Thank you for tackling that - this guy sounds as deluded and disgusting as Gary, Shrader, et al.

 

31 minutes ago, forgetmenow said:

I love this so much because it's the Biblical account is the exact opposite of the point Gary's trying to make. 

I know - I love how Gary always fucks up the Mary and Martha story. I think he wishes the KJV said: "And Jesus spake unto her, and said, 'Mary, you're a woman - get away from my feet and go help Martha make me a sammich while I fellowship with the menfolk.'"

[samurai_sarah]

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