Bro Gary Hawkins 17: Naschitti

[Pecansforeveryone]

@Xan, there is a lot of pseudo-romantic slop in certain strains of evangelical Christianity. In hipster churches, it comes out as "Jesus is my boyfriend" music. 

Just now, Pecansforeveryone said:

@Xan, there is a lot of pseudo-romantic slop in certain strains of evangelical Christianity. In hipster churches, it comes out as "Jesus is my boyfriend" music. Sidenote: I am impressed Gary got to hear the Navajo Nation President speak. 

 

[Jasmar]

I find it really depressing that the president of the Navajo Nation is a KJB fundie.

[thoughtful]

Gary preached in a different church for Sunday evening service - Grace Navajo Baptist. They sing Victory in Jesus, then When the Roll is Called Up Yonder. The sound system is weird, so I can't catch what the pastor says.

The Hawkinses come up, and Becky sings One More Time.

Gary comes up and tells them some of his future itinerary, and says he's looking forward to going to Texas because "they're free, amen."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+2%3A8-20&version=KJV

"Jesus was the son of Mary the mother of Jesus."

Well, yeah - that's sort of how that works.

He says there is only one radio station he can get where they are staying, and it's a Catholic radio station. He's been listening to it because he has to "deal with" a lot of Catholics when he goes to upstate New York.

His theme is No One Ever Spoke Like Jesus.

Gary mentions that he met the president of the Navajo Nation and was "glad that he got to be under the preachin' of the word of God." Gary would like to preach to Joe Bahden.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+4%3A28-32&version=KJV

Gary's glad Jesus isn't telling everyone his (Gary's) life story.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+9%3A12-15&version=KJV

The echo in this room is awful, but I think he re-tells the story in his own words by claiming that the blind man said "Jesus spoke me into havin' ah* surgery real quick-lahk."

*eye

Gary needs "bahfocals." And he lists a bunch of people he has met who are blind, for no reason, then tells us how he listens to people tell him their problems.

Somehow, I just can't picture Gary as a sympathetic listener.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark+5%3A25-29&version=KJV

KJV: And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse. When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment.
Bro Gary version: And had suffered many things of many physic - physickans, and had spent all that she had, was nothing bettered 'n' that lets ya know raht there we had practicin' doctors in the Bahble days amen, nothin' better where was ah at Becky? Verse 27 and when he had heard - she - when she had heard of Jesus, come in the press behind, and touched his garment.

KJV: And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague.
BGV: And straightway the foundation of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed -  from the plague.

Gary claims that, before he got borned again, he "had an issue of blood. Ah had a spir'tual problem. Mah blood that was runnin' through mah body, or runnin' through mah spiritual body was not Jesus' blood. Ya say wha? 'Cause ah wasn't saved."

Gary, you may need Becky to explain what the story is about, and the meaning of "issue" in this context.

He goes on about blood in his usual way.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+14%3A13-21&version=KJV

It may be the echo in that room, but I swear he said "villains" for "victuals" this time. Gary, the word is victuals - pronounced "vittles." You've probably said it a thousand times, not having any clue that it was the same word as in your precious KJV.

Gary says he's "a little bit jallous" of Brother Walton, who "took off and left us," and "is doin' a whole lot better'n we are."

Brother Walton is dead, in case you didn't catch on.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+2%3A37-39&version=KJV

Shit you've heard before follows.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+17%3A20&version=KJV

Gary gets into talking about men who don't wash their hands after using the restaurant - restroom.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+2%3A46&version=KJV

Gary makes sure they know that not just white people are his people - his people are everyone who lives in America. He goes on and on about how he will tell anyone, of any race, about Jesus. 

"You know what, ah sure am thankful that Gawd don't put race out there, 'n' collar out there, Gawd said whosoever. Whosoever. Ah'm sure glad, 'cause you know what, if God'd had race, He'd prob'y be against the white people. 'Cause you do know Jesus was not white, right, amen?"

Well, that was different.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+19%3A10&version=KJV

He says AAA when he means AA again. He also accidentally says the E word - Easter.   Tsk, tsk, Gary - it's Resurrection Sunday.

Jesus is coming soon - you'd better be ready.

[thoughtful]

41 minutes ago, Jasmar said:

I find it really depressing that the president of the Navajo Nation is a KJB fundie.

If it helps, he is a Democrat, and, in fact, was one of the 17 "rising stars" at the convention in August, supporting Biden in the many-person keynote speech.

https://www.nbcnews.com/video/watch-17-democrats-give-keynote-speech-at-dnc-90278469945

I'm sure he just loved Gary's BS about wanting to preach to Biden. And I wonder how sure Gary and his ilk are about Nez's salvation, since they seem so sure that being saved will automatically make you a Republican.

The VP of the NN, however, is a Republican and a Trumper - he spoke at the Republican convention. He is also a Baptist.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myron_Lizer

[Xan]

God help me.  I just watched a Gary video.  I figured it was just a short one and I could probably manage it.  Do I regret that decision?  Yes.

Gary is bemoaning the fact that people aren't supporting "missionaries" in America now.  He says that his family sends money to two missionaries.  I know I've heard him talk about making Jacob send money so he and Becky must send money to another one.  He says he gets money from 4 churches but a couple of them only send money every other month.  He mentions that he occasionally gets money from an older couple but  the husband is dying and he doesn't know how they are doing now.  (Great Gary.  You have benefactors and you can't be bothered to check and see how the old guy is doing?)

At around 7:11 in the video, the little dog comes over to him on the couch and Gary picks it up by the scruff of its neck and lightly tosses it further over on the couch.  I'd like to reach through the screen and pick him up by the scruff of his neck.  You can see his irritation and when the dog starts over again he shoves it again.

Spoiler

He gets confused about "comfort zone".  He says if "it's not out of your comfort zone", people aren't going to donate.  Then he complains that people won't come out of their comfort zone.  Mostly he's just bitching about people not donating money.  Of course, it's not about him.  God is providing for him.  But still, you people can't take it with you!  He's even willing to set up his tent or lend his tent.  "I am not promoting Gary Hawkins.  I'm promoting Jesus Christ!"

"You got a stimulus check coming in.  What are you going to do?  Waste it on things?"  He goes on to say that you'll end up having to pay it back.  And if you have money in the bank when you die, your children will just fight over it.  The money will not follow you to "the casket place".  "I'm not begging from you.  I don't want a dime from you!"  God is taking care of him.  "If you're not going to give cheerfully put it back in your pocketbook and sit down!"

They must not have extra money for the collection plate on the reservation.  (Gary calls it "the rez".)  Times must be tight for Gary.  I just hope they're still feeding Jacob enough.  As for Gary, he brags so much about his weight loss that it's fine with me if he just skips a few more meals.

[thoughtful]

12 hours ago, Xan said:

I wonder why his undies are in a bunch today?

Gary does not need a reason - his spiritual undies are always in a bunch. Maybe it's that issue of blood (I wonder if Becky has explained that to him yet).

I forgot to show you the church from last night. Here is Grace (Grace . . . Grace . . .)  Baptist (Baptist . . . Baptist). OK, it wasn't that echo-y, but it was a very "live" space!

Spoiler

Gary made a video tonight. First, some fussing with the camera:

Spoiler

We look at the stove for a while, then:

No, poor signal. He moves it again (the camera, that is - this hand gesture is not as bad as it looks):

Becky is not happy, and moves out of range. It's nice to see Rascal!

 

After two minutes, Gary finally starts talking about . . . "the need of God to be presenting the things across the land."

There's a church near where he's staying that needs a pastor, but "Becowse of all the Covid stuff, ah'm not really sayin' a lot of where ah'm at, but we could get details to ya if ya was to be innerested, not to be a tattle-tale amen."

Gary does his usual guilt trip about people not supporting missionaries and taking over churches. He now adds the detail of shaming people because the churches in the Navajo Nation are doing a better job than  - well whoever's listening, I guess.

As he sits on the couch and goes on and on about people who won't get out of their comfort zone to do some work, with many pauses for pissy faces, we hear dishes being washed and stacked.

He is not promoting Gary Hawkins - why, he was even willing to let someone use his tent for an event that had nothing to do with him, except that it's a week he needs it and will be 1000 miles away from the person who wanted it.

"So many people need the Lord, an' you're gonna - stim'lis check got goin' on, yeah. What you gonna waste it ohn thangs. You say 'You got your stim'lis check?'  Nonaya bidness."

He warns them that the government will make them pay "every bit of it" back.

The money you have in the bank will just be something for your children to fight over when you're gone. "The Wells Fargo wagon will not follow you to the fun'ril home, will not follow you to the  . . . casket place."

"Ah'm not beggin' for me. Ah don't wanta a dahm from you. God's got me."

He doesn't remember all of the people he's given to, because he doesn't go around looking for pats on the back (he does a really prissy imitation of someone looking for pats on the back).

Becky and/or Jacob are still washing dishes, after 16 minutes of this shit.

ETA - I see @Xan posted while I was still listening and typing. I missed his shoving Rascal around, because I was listening without looking at that point, I guess.

1 hour ago, Xan said:

He mentions that he occasionally gets money from an older couple but  the husband is dying and he doesn't know how they are doing now.  (Great Gary.  You have benefactors and you can't be bothered to check and see how the old guy is doing?)

This is the guy who, over a week ago, Gary said had "48 hours left." He's also the man who, about two years ago, wondered aloud why God kept him alive, because he felt so useless. Gary assured him that his purpose in life is to pray for Gary. He puts this anecdote into a lot of his messages.

I didn't realize they sent more than prayer.

Gary, you are a useless piece of shit.

Edited March 23, 2021 by thoughtful

[Dana723]

12 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

No, poor signal. He moves it again (the camera, that is - this hand gesture is not as bad as it looks):

Kind of a Rudy move, eh?

[thoughtful]

Becky's latest:

Spoiler

Becky, your hashtags don't apply. Tupperware and all of the MLMs you have tried and that your friends are trapped in, are not small businesses. #womenexploitedbycorporations or #gimmeyourstimulus$ or #womenwhoarenotallowedtoworkbystupidfundiehusbands would be more accurate.

Barbara Roberson has a One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater problem.

Spoiler

 

[Black Aliss]

20 hours ago, Jasmar said:

I find it really depressing that the president of the Navajo Nation is a KJB fundie.

I don't think he is. I think he was going around to all the churches encouraging people to get vaccinated.It certainly didn't sound like he was a regular at that particular church, anyway. 

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, Black Aliss said:

I don't think he is. I think he was going around to all the churches encouraging people to get vaccinated.It certainly didn't sound like he was a regular at that particular church, anyway. 

I apologize for creating any impression that he is fundie, and not saying that we don't know if he is, when answering earlier about his being a Democrat.

As I said, he sounded to me like he was walking a tightrope when he spoke. I agree with you that he was probably visiting churches to encourage vaccination and continuing to be careful.

He did read the "wrestle against principalities, against powers" stuff in Ephesians, KJV:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+6%3A10-14&version=KJV

He also said "God is in control," and credited their prayers, and God, for saving the Navajo nation from one of the waves of Covid that the rest of the country went through.

But the choice of Bible could have been a courtesy, and he may interpret those things in a totally different way than Gary and his cohorts, who use it to insult the government and scream about everybody needing to be in church, pandemic be damned.

He did refer to the mask and information as a kind of armor, after reading about the armor of God. And he has clearly been taking and urging precautions, and not treating his faith like a magical protection.

I remember some grumbling from Gary, at one church a while back  - something along the lines of somebody in the Navajo government being saved, but he wasn't sure about "the other one." I wonder now if he was talking about Nez and Lizer (Lizer being the one he would consider saved).

A google search turned up nothing about Nez's faith, other than to say that he  is a Christian. He may just privately go about his business when it comes to worship (which definitely points to his not being an IFB fundie!). ?

[thoughtful]

Something nice and harmless, for a change. Becky made a blanket for the baby Michaela is expecting (or possibly for a candy bar):

Spoiler

 

[thoughtful]

Gary preached at Ganado Baptist Church in Ganado Arizona tonight. We have another pastor, Mark Haynes, who thinks he's funny. ?

They all sing I'll Run the Race. During announcements, the pastor  mentions that Gary preached for, as he put it "the rez prez." C'mon - the man's name is Nez - complete the rhyme! Heck, his Twitter handle is @NNprezNez.

He jokes about Nez running out the back door because he couldn't stand Gary's preaching. Gary laughs.

He brags that they have passed out 350 tracts and door hangs in some period of time he doesn't specify. They have some sort of competition going between various teams.

He rambles on about various things. Some of it is hard to hear, but I catch "I've gotta be careful," which is usually a tip-off, with these guys, that they are going to say something anti-government, racist or otherwise offensive, that they want the congregants to keep under their hats.

It always cracks me up, when they're live on Facebook.

He starts talking about someone named Gary Way, who wants to get a visa to go to Israel, "and he cannot be listed as a missionary. They have groups in the government of Israel - it's a very oppressive government, it's a wicked government, that's what it is. And they go after some of the missionaries, they go after and harass. Technically they got freedom in there, but they don't."

He says he had to take Gary Way and his wife off of some online record he had, referring to them as missionaries, and advises they do the same, for any missionaries.

So, sneakiness and lying are the answer to getting into countries to Godbother people. Great.

He asks prayers for someone he visited - he says their first names - last night. "They were both extremely drunk, and they know they're not right." He offered to take the vodka away from them and throw it away, but "of course they wouldn't give it to me."

He asks prayers for someone who hasn't been well, and is "makin' out his will this weekend."

He asks prayers for the people in Boulder, because "a crazy guy goin' and shootin' up folks, there's gonna be a big push to get everybody's guns confiscated. I don't want the bad guys just to have guns, I want to make sure the good people have them. It's just one of those things - it's gonna be used as a tool, and it's not fair to those families up there, ________ (something that is drowned out by Gary's amens)."

Gee, could you at least take a few seconds to talk about praying for the people who lost loved ones before you go right to the "muh guns" shit? ?

He does pray that "somebody gets saved outta something like that."

While discussing the "weird weather" (it snowed there again), he says he prays for global warming.

During the offering, the pianist, who has a certain barroom flourish to her style, plays something that sounds a lot like Tom Lehrer's My Home Town.

The pastor introduces the Hawkins family, and says he asked Becky if there was anything good he could say about her husband, and claims she said "I don't know."

Becky, Gary and Jacob sing Standing on the Solid Rock and Through It All.

And I think I'll make Gary's blatherings a separate post.

 

[Ozlsn]

On 3/23/2021 at 2:37 PM, thoughtful said:

Gary would like to preach to Joe Bahden

I.. could be persuaded to watch that, particularly if we got to see Biden's uncensored reactions.

Also it constantly amazes me that Gary thinks he has anything to say that Biden might be interested in.

On 3/23/2021 at 3:16 PM, Xan said:

You got a stimulus check coming in.  What are you going to do?  Waste it on things?" 

Why would you buy food or pay utilities when you can give Gary fuel money?

On 3/23/2021 at 2:37 PM, thoughtful said:

Gary, the word is victuals - pronounced "vittles." You've probably said it a thousand times, not having any clue that it was the same word as in your precious KJV.

Gotta admit I had no idea those were the same word. Neither are in common use here, and I've only ever read them or possibly heard them in film/TV. So there you go - I thought vittles was a legit dialect word from the southern US.

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He asks prayers for the people in Boulder, because "a crazy guy goin' and shootin' up folks,

Did they mention the previous week's mass shooting at all?

On 3/24/2021 at 1:02 PM, thoughtful said:

remember some grumbling from Gary, at one church a while back  - something along the lines of somebody in the Navajo government being saved, but he wasn't sure about "the other one." I wonder now if he was talking about Nez and Lizer (Lizer being the one he would consider saved).

I have to say NN board meetings must get... interesting, what with the quite different political views of the two top leaders.

[Black Aliss]

11 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He starts talking about someone named Gary Way, who wants to get a visa to go to Israel, "and he cannot be listed as a missionary. They have groups in the government of Israel - it's a very oppressive government, it's a wicked government, that's what it is. And they go after some of the missionaries, they go after and harass. Technically they got freedom in there, but they don't."

Gary has a point. Israel is a theocracy, just like what Gary wants for the US and, as with any theocracy, for certain citizens it is pretty damned oppressive. 

[thoughtful]

8 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

Also it constantly amazes me that Gary thinks he has anything to say that Biden might be interested in.

Gary never cares if people are interested. I think he revels in the thought of preaching to people who are unsaved or saved and not behaving as he thinks they should. I think he loves to lecture, to feel like he is the one who is right, and some of those listening are against him.

8 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

Gotta admit I had no idea those were the same word. Neither are in common use here, and I've only ever read them or possibly heard them in film/TV. So there you go - I thought vittles was a legit dialect word from the southern US.

I wouldn't expect most people to be aware of that, actually.  I just think that someone who is both a US southerner (who might have heard the word on TV, if not IRL) and a person who had read that passage from the KJV hundreds of times, and has heard other preachers read it, might have made the connection.

But Gary is not good at that sort of thing, to say the least.

 

8 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

Did they mention the previous week's mass shooting at all?

No, which could have been bias because the shooter was white and Christian. But, he may have mentioned it the previous week. In any case, I imagine it would probably have been only to fret about guns being taken away.

8 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

I have to say NN board meetings must get... interesting, what with the quite different political views of the two top leaders.

I've been thinking about that, too.

1 hour ago, Black Aliss said:

Gary has a point. Israel is a theocracy, just like what Gary wants for the US and, as with any theocracy, for certain citizens it is pretty damned oppressive. 

This was not Gary - everything in the post above was still the pastor speaking.

Technically, Israel is not a theocracy. That I know for sure (and double-checked before I posted), and I admit that, otherwise, I'm no expert - I haven't followed the details of Israeli government in many years.

But my impression is that it's been run by right-wing assholes ignoring their own laws, with too much input from fundies, for too long. I agree that, for many of its citizens, it is damned oppressive.

But I don't think white Christian missionaries from the US are in any danger from the government - there is no law against them.  There are groups like Yad L’Achim who try to bother the godbotherers - basically, obnoxious fundies who want to convert everyone vs. obnoxious fundies who want the country to be run by their rules.

[Ozlsn]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Gary never cares if people are interested. I think he revels in the thought of preaching to people who are unsaved or saved and not behaving as he thinks they should. I think he loves to lecture, to feel like he is the one who is right, and some of those listening are against him.

I don't think I managed to express what I was half-bakedly thinking.. on further thought it's the Great White Saviour fantasy of Gary's, that he could Lead The President And The Nation To Salvation, and in some respects it's the arrogance that amazes me. But then again, it's as much fantasy as Gary going to the electric chair for his beliefs or even leaving his name and number on a political phone message rather than phoning from the next state. 

[thoughtful]

On to Gary's part of the service from last night. He starts with self-mockery, saying he's not going to try to pronounce the name of their town because he's a hillbilly, and hoping that whoever recommended him to them didn't lie enough to go to Hell.

Besides the usual, Gary says:

"Now this tahm ah have been out here, first tahm, uh, first tahm comin' back Arizona in eight years, ah'm finally beginnin' to like it again, amen. But ah got to hang out more on the reservation, and ah'm findin' out, y'all Indians' a little bit rougher than us white people, amen! Y'know, ah've never talked about scalpin' nobody, amen!

He gets laughs throughout that little speech, but considerably fewer for the last comment.

When he mentions his prayer cards, he makes some crack that they may want to wipe the germs off of them, and assures them he's taken a bath. Is that mockery of their Covid precautions, Gary, or just more of the faux self-mockery you think has to be part of your spiel?

After asking them to stand, and announcing John 1, he says, "Pray for me, ah have just now changed over to a bigger, giant print Bahble and, uh . . .  it's big!  And the words are big - ah kin see what ah'm sayin' now mah wahf said 'You gonna read the Bahble, you gonna gotta to be able to get it' look in verses 19, the Bahble says . . . "

And yes, there is not the teeniest break between his (probably unfinished, probably inaccurate) quote from Becky and announcing the "verses." So the new Bible is large print. I wonder if that will actually help Gary read what it says.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+1%3A19-34&version=KJV

Let's see . . .

All of the st endings still become th endings. Some of the th endings become ed endings. One of the modern endings becomes a th ending. There are lots of other errors. And, as ever, he reads like it is a grocery list.

KJV: Make straight the way of the Lord, as said the prophet Esaias.
Bro Gary Version: Make straight the path of the Lord, as - as said the prophet Elias.

 KJV: He it is, who coming after me is preferred before me, whose shoe's latchet I am not worthy to unloose. These things were done in Bethabara beyond Jordan, where John was baptizing.
BGV: He it is, who cometh after me is preferred before me, whose shoe's latch - latcheth ah am not worthy to unloose. These things were done in Bethabara beyond Jordan, where John was baptized.

KJV: And John bare record, saying, I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him.
BGV: And John bared record, saying, ah am the spi - ah saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him.

KJV: And I saw, and bare record
BGV: And ah saw, and ah bared record

Ah, well, Becky - you tried.

This is his How to be a Forerunner in These Per'lous Days message.

Gary has "no idear" what will happen in our country, but "if ah could figure it out, we wouldn't have Democrats in the White House, amen. And ah'm not preachin' politicians ah'm just sayin' if we could figure all this stuff out it'd be goin' the raht way not the wrong way amen. Butchu know what, it may come to the part 'n' we have to be - uh uh crucifahd for our Lord 'n' Savior we may have to be persecuted matterofact, Brother Gary _____ (Yausie?) if ah'm sayin' that name right he's already had a few tahms been called the places didn't already call on him."

Gary's been "cussed out, but that's to be expected when ya go hang out with Yankees, amen."

He says he told a lady (he makes sure they know it's at the church with the half-paralyzed pastor!) who was afraid to go out soul-winning by herself, "If they cuss ya out, God'll take keer of ya, amen? If they git their gun, run real fast is all ah kin tell ya amen."

Very encouraging, Gary.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+corinthians+15%3A58&version=KJV

Be planted. Gary says he's made out of the clay from North Carolina, "y'all are made out of whatever it is y'all got out here in Indiana - ah mean Indian land amen!"

He announces Ephesians 3:7-8, and reads Phillipians 3:7-8 (he never corrects himself - I just figured it out by googling what I thought he was saying, which, as you will see below, was not easy!):

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+3%3A7-8&version=KJV

KJV: But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.
BFV: But what thanks were - were we - were  - what thanks we again to me, those that count lost of Christ.

KJV: Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ
BFV: Yet doubtless, and I count all things but lost for the ex'lenly of the knowledge of Christ. Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that ah mah - ah may win some

And he yells for a while about all the things it "costes" to stand for Christ.

According to Gary, "they say" that Catholics will deny anyone who gets saved "won't have nothin' to do with them. Listen hey, because wha? Because they've got the real deal, bein' born again saved bah the grace of God."

He warns them not to listen to the Catholic radio station, but says he's listening to it, to "get some catches" he can use on Catholics.

Did you know it "costed" a lot to have the King James Bible?

He says the people on the Catholic radio station are even more arrogant than Baptists.

"The Baptists is the right way, but the only way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ. Amen? Ah mean, if you'll read, we're talkin' 'bout John the Baptist, whenever it is (?) he never mentioned John the Catholic."

?‍♀️

He screams out his quote from John the Baptist, addressing Herod: "Listen, hey! You shouldn't be with that woman, that's another woman's husband! Ah mean another woman's wife!"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+10%3A13&version=KJV

He launches right into his loudest, chanti-est screaming mode, about how he could complain, because lots of bad things have happened to him, but "God is faithful!"

Doing his riff about how Becky's "lagging" makes him late, but he thinks it's God keeping them out of accidents, he says "she's caused us some wrecks. She's caused us some heartache." He must see puzzled or disapproving faces, because he gestures to Becky and says:
"Ah'm glad you're laughin' - they think ah'm bein mean."
Becky: "I didn't cause you to wreck."

It doesn't even register on him - he goes on with his old story about seeing a young couple jump out of their Suburban before it blew up. It was on the other side of the road, and he witnessed the explosion, so I never understand how, even when he tells it right, this story fits his narrative that Becky's making them late saved them from anything.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+timothy+4%3A6-7&version=KJV

On to the "no matter who it harelips' riff, anybody mad at him is mad at God, claiming the Bible "was put in hillbilly language, ya say 'How do ya know?' Ah understand it, ah understand what ah understand of it amen."

And then he goes on with a long "ah am what ah am," bit, like Paul, or possibly Popeye. Lots of faux modesty.

He tells a story about a text he got after the revival in NY, "an' ah just lit'rilly got ripped from top to bottom" for something he preached. He texted back "Who are you?" and got the answer that the person was a concerned citizen. He proudly tells them he blocked that number, because he could have let the Devil and the flesh get in him and make him argue, but he realized he had another week of preaching ahead and didn't want it to get in the way.

Of course, the idea of being open-minded and learning something never even occurs to him. To Gary, an open mind is the devil's playground.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+9%3A1-5&version=KJV

Be a forerunner by being busy. Gary tells us what a typical week was like when he was a child (did you know Gary's father took college courses at one point?), and rattles off his upcoming itinerary, including picking up his trailer and having more work done on it and lots of traveling. He won't have time to have fun - he'll be busy preaching and uplifting Jesusssssssss.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+1%3A23&version=KJV

This is part of your first reading, Gary - you're repeating yourself. And you still said Elias.

Gary say he has a daughter he hadn't seen in four years, until this past Christmas (one of Becky's daughters, I assume). She hasn't been to church since the pandemic started, and he picked on her about it. She said she didn't need to be instructed.

In his "not makin' light of the Covid" and being "jallous" of the guy who died of it riff, he adds "Listen hey, you not shakin' mah hand, you hittin' mah elbow it hurts and ah'm bruised up but ah'll be OK amen!"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+50%3A15-22&version=KJV

Many errors, including:

KJV: Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him.
BGV: Joseph will pre-adventurous hate us, and will certainly request - require us all the evil which we did unto him.

KJV: And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants. And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?
BGV: And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, unto - said before said behold we be thy servant. And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for  I am in the place of God.

He does his routine about Brother Stout in his wheelchair, and how lucky he feels not to be like him.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+7%3A50&version=KJV

The rich man raises his eyes in torment. You'd better be sure you're saved.

Oh, and Gary thinks God is punishing him, because there's been snow everywhere he's gone out west.

 

[postscript]

“Bared record” - was John nekkid, Gary? 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

The Duggars have been involved with One for Israel, a Christian organization that aims to "Bless All Israel with Jesus".  They seem to be a Christian missionary group in Israel. I don't remember the entirety of the Duggars' involvement. I know Joy and Austin went first to Switzerland on their honeymoon for television. Then Joy and Austin went to Israel and volunteered with this group. The Israel portion of their honeymoon wasn't filmed, but they posted pictures (back in 2017 when they got married). 

Edited March 26, 2021 by Bluebirdbluebell

[Ozlsn]

5 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He screams out his quote from John the Baptist, addressing Herod: "Listen, hey! You shouldn't be with that woman, that's another woman's husband! Ah mean another woman's wife!"

Herod certainly seems to have had a more varied sex life in the BGV than in any other version I've read.

6 hours ago, thoughtful said:

did you know Gary's father took college courses at one point?

I feel like this is a "pics or it didn't happen" moment...

6 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Oh, and Gary thinks God is punishing him, because there's been snow everywhere he's gone out west.

It's A Sign, Gary. Stay the hell in one place and get a paying job already.

[EyesOpen]

On 3/25/2021 at 3:24 PM, thoughtful said:

But Gary is not good at that sort of thing, to say the least.

And we have out next thread title!

[Xan]

OK folks!  Gary's posted on Facebook again.  It's his usual word salad about the only way to make sure your soul is saved but this time we have a bonus Gary-ism:  Jesus died "on the Old Red Cross".

[thoughtful]

Gary asked, they answered:

Spoiler

Brother Stout is trying to be funny with Becky:

Spoiler

 

[Howl]

This popped up on my twitter feed: 

and this area looks so beautiful that I plugged "Cleopatra's Needle, Navajo Nation" into google maps, which is happy to locate named landforms.  I pulled back on the view a little, and what to my wondering eyes would appear but...to the east of Cleopatra's Needle as the crow flies, the community of Naschitti on  Hwy 491!  Cleopatra's Needle is about 17 miles north of Fort Defiance. 

Anyway, I hope Bro Gary goes straight to hell for going around preaching in person.  The Navajo Nation has been decimated by Covid.

At one point the City of Gallup closed all of the exits into the town from the Interstate -- 100% shut the town down because the rate of Covid infection was so high.  At one point, Médecins Sans Frontières sent physicians. 

A significant portion of people on the Reservation (which is quite an immense place) have no internet access, some with no TV and possibly no radio.  Communication about the severity of Covid and the need to socially distance in a culture that functions through extended family relationships has been a battle.  

Were Bro. Gary to have Covid and not know it, he's be a one-man Typhoid Mary, going from place to place, singing and preaching in enclosed spaces and spreading Covid.  

SRSLY, f**k that guy. 

Side note: Hwy 491 used to be Hwy 666, and then, in 2003, it was changed to Hwy 491.  U.S. 666: "Beast of a Highway"?

 

Edited March 28, 2021 by Howl

[thoughtful]

20 hours ago, Howl said:

Anyway, I hope Bro Gary goes straight to hell for going around preaching in person.  The Navajo Nation has been decimated by Covid.

What's worse, he knows that (well, as much as Gary ever retains what he has been told), as do all of the fundies who have continued to travel, have church, and otherwise endanger others.

They just stubbornly insist on risking everyone's lives, because this life doesn't matter.

Becky got a gift and they got a goody bag (or, as Gary called it in his post, a "good bag"):

Spoiler

She got a necklace. Now, if she could only get a clue:

Spoiler

Gary gets a good bag and a free hotel room, gives back some whiny guilt:

Spoiler