Counting On: Season 4, Part 1: Back to Planet Duggarville

[SadieJane]

35 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Yeah, I'm going thru people making snotty-ass remarks about shit. You don't like the way I talk, then don't listen. You don't like the way I write, don't read it. SO sorry I'm not some Ivy League upper class bitch...I'm just a stupid redneck who is sick and tired of the superiority syndrome that's becoming so prevalent around here....

Just a question for the esteemed educated readers/writers here...can YOU pipe up a nuclear reactor? Can you figure out what kind of valves need to be used, material and size? Can you even describe the cycle that makes power? That's what this stupid, uneducated redneck bitch did for most of her professional life. My shitty grammar and southern accent didn't stop me. 

 

Nah, but if ever anyone has a need to a psych eval, I'm your girl!

[Fluffy14]

So I think Joe must feel he has a lot of  weight on his shoulders trying to be the next Duggar husband. I think his high standards of purity before marriage was to make a point. 

I am not my older brother. 

Not all Duggar males are uncontrolled sexual deviants.

I will not break the rules no matter how high the standards.

I will be a Godly example for my younger siblings. 

I will honor my mother and father and hold to their rules.

I will not dishonour Kendra by over stepping our boundaries.

What can I say about the rest? Yawn. 

[candygirl200413]

I thought my eyes were going to get stuck with Kendra and Joe's twice a day side hugs ( I low key think they just like to compete who can have the strictest courtship rules.

 

[Beermeet]

8 minutes ago, candygirl200413 said:

I thought my eyes were going to get stuck with Kendra and Joe's twice a day side hugs ( I low key think they just like to compete who can have the strictest courtship rules.

 

I was just thinking of how I'm familiar with that game.  I remember specific moments in my life where I got praise for such.  When grandma and I stopped in for a service at the Catholic school church, where the nuns were taking the female students for mass. A few nuns openly praised me for my form ( prayer position hands on the way up to holy communion, head down).   There are more but, that one sticks out.  When young and wanting to be accepted, that stuff works.  I can't imagine being in that environment 24/7 though. 

[PumaLover]

Oh geez... the rollerblading. They had to make sure it was ok for her to hold onto his arm for balance? Or to grab his hand for her to help up?

I help teach figure skating to kids. Holding onto people's hands is part of my job and is not immodest or lustful in any way. I remember Josh and Anna and the handsex but seriously, how is touching someone's hand going to lead you to suddenly get naked and have sex? (And I love that she has cropped leggings under her skirt. There was someone at the ice rink yesterday wearing the same thing!)

[Rio]

That was hilarious watching Austin try to be polite even though he could care less about a wedding cake. Then Joy finally admitted she didn't care either. Why didn't they just have Jana pick one? I think being way "over" planning a wedding is actually mature of Joy-Anna. She knows who she is and she knows the wedding details are not that interesting to her.

Also, Austin is hot. Am I alone in that opinion? 

[Letizia]

2 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Yeah, I'm going thru people making snotty-ass remarks about shit. You don't like the way I talk, then don't listen. You don't like the way I write, don't read it. SO sorry I'm not some Ivy League upper class bitch...I'm just a stupid redneck who is sick and tired of the superiority syndrome that's becoming so prevalent around here....

Just a question for the esteemed educated readers/writers here...can YOU pipe up a nuclear reactor? Can you figure out what kind of valves need to be used, material and size? Can you even describe the cycle that makes power? That's what this stupid, uneducated redneck bitch did for most of her professional life. My shitty grammar and southern accent didn't stop me. 

 

Perhaps you will appreciate this old joke:

A snobbish English teacher was sitting in an Atlanta airport coffee shop waiting for her flight back to Connecticut, when a friendly southern belle sat down next to her.

"Where y'all goin' to?" asked the southern belle.

Turning her nose in the air, the snob replied "I don't answer people who end their sentences with prepositions."

The southern belle thought a moment, and tried again.

"Where y'all goin' to, BITCH?"

 

[Rachel333]

People looking down on others for non-standard grammar is kind of a pet peeve of mine too. It comes across as classist (and sometimes racist) and ignorant of how language works. The Duggars are uneducated, yes, but I've known many very educated people who speak like them because its a dialect, not a marker of education. A lot of people look down on people who use African-American vernacular English as well because they think it's a mark of ignorance when really it's an English variant with an internally consistent grammar of its own and is used by a lot of extremely intelligent and/or educated people.

On a different topic, Joe and Kendra specifically set a rule that they can only have two 3-second side hugs a day? Really? Fundies are ridiculous.

[TheDuggarnaut]

2 hours ago, Fluffy14 said:

So I think Joe must feel he has a lot of  weight on his shoulders trying to be the next Duggar husband. I think his high standards of purity before marriage was to make a point. 

I am not my older brother. 

Not all Duggar males are uncontrolled sexual deviants.

I will not break the rules no matter how high the standards.

I will be a Godly example for my younger siblings. 

I will honor my mother and father and hold to their rules.

I will not dishonour Kendra by over stepping our boundaries.

What can I say about the rest? Yawn. 

I hadn't thought of it from this POV, but you make good points. I remember JD's comments after Joshgate, about the responsibility he felt to set an example for his younger brothers. 

This is probably Joe feeling the same responsibility, as well as Duggars trying to prove that not all their sons are pervs. And another, stricter adjustment to their rules, thanks to Josh.

That said, I still think its nuts. I wonder what made them decide on 3 seconds? Did they hug once for 4 seconds and he got a boner? Do they have a stop watch to count the 3 seconds? 

[bella8050]

I find the swapping of "when" to "whenever" annoying but it's certainly not a Duggarism. It's a regional dialect. I know plenty of well educated, intelligent people who use such dialects or pronunciations that don't fit the norm. Some who've had media training to boot and still fall back to what they're used to.

 

[WiseGirl]

Looking like I made the right choice to watch The Vietnam War instead of this train wreck.  Actually watching anything else would be a better choice.

[Georgia3112]

2 hours ago, Rio said:

Also, Austin is hot. Am I alone in that opinion?

You're not alone, although it's difficult to admit I thought that lol, what's wrong with me?

[singsingsing]

6 hours ago, Rio said:

Also, Austin is hot. Am I alone in that opinion? 

No, I think he's good looking. I think Ben and Jeremy are good looking, too. And I thought Derick was cute way back when we first met him. You know, before he became a raging dickbag. 

[amers]

My thoughts: 

Joy is a doormat. She thinks it's bad to speak her mind or give an opinion and it's not just with her man, it's with everything. Those type of people think it's cute but it's extremely frustrating. It's your wedding, choose something! Your whole life has revolved around getting married and your truly have no idea what you want? 

Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe. Bless their hearts. They sure feel superior with their standards and Mommy and Daddy telling them what they can and can't do. But they clearly don't see that it makes them look like immature 8 year olds to get on tv and say "my daddy said it's ok if I have to touch his arm but not his hands" while trying NOT TO FALL THE F**K DOWN! That's beyond drinking the cool aid, that's disturbing. They are in their 20s and they are one step front getting engaged and they are asking their parents if they can touch to not fall on concrete. Who would be proud of that, either themselves or parents? I'd feel ashamed if my 20 year old child came acrss with the maturity level of a 4 year old. It's not raising kids for Jesus. It's traumatizing them and brain washing them into thinking touching the hand of an opposite gender person leads to Hell. 

 

Jill, I quit paying attention. Are we going to see your birth? That's all I want to know.

JESSA your child needs to be a model and he's beyond adorable. Ben was even normal this time. If watch the Jessa and Ben show. 

4 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

No, I think he's good looking. I think Ben and Jeremy are good looking, too. And I thought Derick was cute way back when we first met him. You know, before he became a raging dickbag. 

Agree. I don't know what happened to Derrick but he went from Aaron Rodgers to...i don't know. Now he just has crazy in his eyes. But the others are good looking. 

[singsingsing]

5 minutes ago, amers said:

Joy is a doormat. She thinks it's bad to speak her mind or give an opinion and it's not just with her man, it's with everything. Those type of people think it's cute but it's extremely frustrating. It's your wedding, choose something! Your whole life has revolved around getting married and your truly have no idea what you want? 

This was me and my first boyfriend. And we were only a little younger than Joy (17 and 16). Neither of us ever wanted to make a decision. Where to eat, what movie to watch, what to do - it was incredibly frustrating, and we were both equally at fault. Neither of us wanted to be judged by the other for whatever decision we made. We were both doormats. A relationship like that doesn't work, and a relationship where one person is a doormat and the other isn't (I won't name any names, but they start with J and J.......) is just as bad, if not worse.

That experience really taught me that it was important to be decisive and to not worry so much about every little choice. And that if you choose a movie to watch and the other person really doesn't want to watch it but goes along with it anyway and is really unhappy about it, then they're passive aggressive and that's their problem, not yours. My dad was always terrible for this. He'd never make any important decision, never even give solid input, no matter how much my mother begged him. Then, if things didn't turn out well, he'd suddenly be saying, "Well I never wanted to do that. I thought we should do X instead." Then why didn't you say that in the first place? It's not cute, it's extremely passive aggressive and it's designed to protect that person from any and all criticism and blame by deflecting 100% of the responsibility onto the person who steps up and actually makes the decision.

And fundie culture trains women to function like that. It's sick and it poisons relationships.

[HarleyQuinn]

Whoa whoa whoa, Aaron Rodgers is hot, let's not compare dWRECK's tragic face with him, even before surgery.  

I didn't watch but this rollerblading thing sounds ridiculous. 

[Buzzard]

10 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

1. Wait, is that what the episode is actually called?? Because I can totally see them blasting people who need/use food stamps and Marie Antoinette style telling them if they just pray to Jesus, they too can eat cake.

Yes, that was really the name of the episode.  There is no way any Duggar got that reference. Considering the "cake" part of the episode was maybe 3 minutes they would have been better calling it "smashing shit and trying not to fall".

Dear TLC, Please contact me in advance and I will name next week's episode for you.  I guarantee it will be better than whatever you have.  May I suggest "Useless travel = plot point?"

[Exjw2015deed]

Perhaps ben and Jessa seem the most stable because they actually courted the longest instead of the standard 90 day fiancée deals fundies get into. 

The coffee scene with Jeremy and jinger really bothered me. It annoyed me because she knew she was right but "obeyed" her husband to leave it open. First he said very angrily "I wanted coffee not lava, open it." No please or thank you. Why did he the. insist that she leave it open as he drives? Why would you take a chance of having lava spilled on her legs? She looked really upset at first but laughed it off when she should've really gotten into him about it. He's funny but his arrogance is starting to spill through. 

Also, Austin should've married Joy when she was about 21 and more mature. Her whole life she was the middle sister and her sisters made all decisions for her. Hair, clothes, and makeup.... She just started to become her own woman and being comfortable in her skin. I can see Austin with someone like Jana who is a little more assertive or has her own sense of self.

Im over commenting on Jill and derick.

Joe seems really sweet on Kendra. But again I don't understand how these people have no time alone and end up being married so fast. Being intimate with someone isn't always about the physical.  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, amers said:

Joy is a doormat. She thinks it's bad to speak her mind or give an opinion and it's not just with her man, it's with everything. Those type of people think it's cute but it's extremely frustrating. It's your wedding, choose something! Your whole life has revolved around getting married and your truly have no idea what you want? 

She was raised to be a door mat. Jana and Jessa have the ability to make decisions, but that is out of necessity, once KJB&DQ handed over the raising of children to the sister moms Jana was the leader, Jill was the tattle tale and Jessa was 2nd in command and in charge of keeping the kids in line.  Joy was the youngest of the 5 older girls, so I'm guessing all the older sisters always told her what to do or just let her run with the boys.  In the last 3 years she's gotten a crash course in "how to be a Godly  Gothardly Duggarly woman"  You will smile sweetly at your man and wait for him to tell you what you think.  She's afraid to make a decision God only know what will happen to her if she speaks up.

[Eternalbluepearl]

6 hours ago, bella8050 said:

I find the swapping of "when" to "whenever" annoying but it's certainly not a Duggarism. 

This honestly catches me off-guard every time I watch the Duggars. The Bates might say it too. In my head I'm just saying "the word is when..." over and over. 

[Lurky]

I can't even begin to understand how it would be so bad for Kendra to hold Joe's hand, but it's not going to inflame terrible passions if she holds James'.  Or if she falls and Joe helps her up.  Where's the logic in this?

The only thing I can think of is that because Josh was so well known for the Hand Sex (I loved the Kid Farm version) they've got even more extreme about it.  But the Hand Sex was because it was the only way for them to touch, and they're raised in an environment where everything is hyper-sexualised.  Letting the couples be more natural with each other would lower the temperature on GASP! HAND HOLDING! rather than inflame terrifying passions, IMO.

[Carm_88]

7 hours ago, bella8050 said:

I find the swapping of "when" to "whenever" annoying but it's certainly not a Duggarism. It's a regional dialect. I know plenty of well educated, intelligent people who use such dialects or pronunciations that don't fit the norm. Some who've had media training to boot and still fall back to what they're used to.

Yes, but I think it's also important to point out that likely the Duggars do not know the difference. That's the difference here, people can say all they want "It's regional" but I am 99% sure that the Duggars don't know that it's wrong. I'm guessing the SOTDRT doesn't teach that. 

[nst]

the entire show is so contrived.  Joy just copies Jill - she has been taught to be submissive and it also seems that Austin just didn't care about the wedding planning as Joy didn't as well. These people just wanted to be together. And one poster said that Joy was always told what to do by her sisters - again that is so obvious.

And jeremy and Jinger again the domineering man rolls over her and she has to take it.  It was sad to watch. He is the moulder and he knows it. 

Jessa's courtship was longer because Ben was underage and they could show a 18 year old man marrying a 20 year old woman imo.   

Kendra and Joe I just can't care about they are beyond ridiculous 

Jill and Derick again play with the devil dealing with Samuel

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

On the topic of 'when' vs 'whenever', something amusing happened to me tonight.

I got a new colleague at work. When I first met her, something about her eyes and hair reminded me of Jana (her name is similar too), something about the shape of her face reminded me of Kendra. Next thing you know she's telling me she's from Arkansas, I ask which part, she says Northwest, and I'm like "woah, you come from Duggarland." Anyhow, she's super cool, working on her thesis, and completely unDuggarlike. A couple of time I noticed her saying 'whenever' in the place of 'when', then catching herself and correcting it.

No, she has never seen the Duggars, but knows people who have. She pointed out that a grand wizard of the KKK also comes from her neck of the woods. Then she went on to talk about some of the things in NWA that make it a good place to live, such as the fact that she paid only $350/month for a small home on a piece of farmland that she shared with a few friends (the average rent for a small 1bdrm in my city is close to $2000 CAD). Her place was a short drive from city amenities, and it sounded like she did lots of fun (definitely not Duggar-approved) activities while living there.

[SapphireSlytherin]

@feministxtian- THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

I've spent my entire adult life having to super-prove myself as intelligent simply because I have a Southern accent.

Oh, you're Southern? Guess you're plenty dumb, so I'll talk REALLLLLL SLLLLOOOOWWWW so you can try to understand what I'm saying.

I have plenty of Southernisms sprinkled throughout my spoken (and sometimes written, but only in informal settings because I write for a living) dialog. I frequently say "Who all is going?" or "What all did you buy?" and I use y'all like salt-on-french-fries.

But to assume I'm stupid/uneducated/don't know better because I use colloquialisms and regional dialect is presumptuous, condescending, and rude.