Alyssa & John 5: She's Raising Fashion Conscious Girls

[Melissa1977]

21 minutes ago, Johannah said:

Maybe Alyssa didn’t get to have fast food much as a kid (or new clothes) and giving that to her kids feels like a life of luxury to her?

Alyssa was into healthy food before her marriage and when Allie was a baby. She has had 3 kids and a serious heart sickness in a short period of time, plus she has expressed how overwhelmed she is and how strapping the girls in the car and drive helps her.

I think she knows fast food is not good for the girls. But she's too exhausted (physically or mentally) to put an effort in cooking. 

 

[Kelsey]

I went out with my Dad a lot as a kid. Movies, fairs, lunches, dinners, camping trips, etc. It was never called a date. Just "your Dad is going to take you to see the Little Mermaid and eat at Pizza Hut"

[Natalie22]

3 hours ago, Johannah said:

Maybe Alyssa didn’t get to have fast food much as a kid (or new clothes) and giving that to her kids feels like a life of luxury to her?

But unfortunately she's not reraising Alyssa, she's raising new humans who have never experienced her childhood and never will.  They're also different people, with different personalities, different situations, and different relationships.  Doing something to fill a void from her life is not a healthy thing to do.  It's fine to reflect on your childhood and take the good and leave the bad, but often times that process mixes in trying to fix the hurt that you feel from your own upbringing and that is not a good thing.

[princessmahina]

I can’t tell if Allie is upset or tired in their newest Sunday pic. 

[Bobology]

5 hours ago, Johannah said:

Maybe Alyssa didn’t get to have fast food much as a kid (or new clothes) and giving that to her kids feels like a life of luxury to her?

Yes, I believe it does. She was the main cook for her huge family for years. I don't know at what age she started taking on that responsibility, but it was too much for a child. She had to have burned out.

My opinion about Jana Duggar still being single at 30 is burnout, too. She spent years and years taking care of someone else's babies, kitchen and house in general. By delaying marriage she is effectively limiting how many kids she will have, thus how much child-rearing and housework she will have.

[lumpentheologie]

Re: everyone's stories about people thinking they were dating their male relatives---

I am just so glad that we as a society are finally moving away from assuming that two people of different genders spending time together in public are having sex. Like seriously, WTF?? 

First of all random strangers' relationships/sex lives are really not anyone's business.

And secondly, assuming that really reduces male/female interaction to sexual interaction, as if men and woman couldn't have anything else in common that might make them want to hang out together. It's like a broader societal version of the "don't be alone with anyone but your wife" rule, and harmful in the same way. 

I remember my mother telling me a story about a man she knew in the 90s and how he got caught cheating on his wife because he got in a car accident and another woman was in the car (during the day).  I was so surprised by that---like, I've ridden in cars with lots of men that I haven't been having sex with (even married men, since I've been married). It reminds me of fundie logic that says you have to immediately have sex with your brother in law if you're alone in the house together. ?

[Bazinga]

Back to the remodel video, anyone else notice that John was removing the popcorn ceiling without a mask on? I'm no contractor, but that seems like a major don't to me! (and before anyone jumps that there might not being any masks for sale 1) it appears they filmed this awhile ago and 2) if there is no mask available, maybe wait to do a project that might endanger your health).

[Perrierwithlemon]

1 hour ago, Bazinga said:

Back to the remodel video, anyone else notice that John was removing the popcorn ceiling without a mask on? I'm no contractor, but that seems like a major don't to me! (and before anyone jumps that there might not being any masks for sale 1) it appears they filmed this awhile ago and 2) if there is no mask available, maybe wait to do a project that might endanger your health).

I don't watch their videos, but I do know a bit about popcorn ceilings. If the popcorn ceiling dates to before 1970, it has asbestos. Still, even after 1970 they can be made with materials (like styrofoam!) that you should avoid breathing in -- especially as it is scraped off and creating tiny dust particles. 

[Lgirlrocks]

15 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

Re: everyone's stories about people thinking they were dating their male relatives---

I am just so glad that we as a society are finally moving away from assuming that two people of different genders spending time together in public are having sex. Like seriously, WTF?? 

First of all random strangers' relationships/sex lives are really not anyone's business.

And secondly, assuming that really reduces male/female interaction to sexual interaction, as if men and woman couldn't have anything else in common that might make them want to hang out together. It's like a broader societal version of the "don't be alone with anyone but your wife" rule, and harmful in the same way. 

I remember my mother telling me a story about a man she knew in the 90s and how he got caught cheating on his wife because he got in a car accident and another woman was in the car (during the day).  I was so surprised by that---like, I've ridden in cars with lots of men that I haven't been having sex with (even married men, since I've been married). It reminds me of fundie logic that says you have to immediately have sex with your brother in law if you're alone in the house together. ?

If fundies could have real friendships with people of the opposite sex it would help them a lot. I think it would eliminate the need to “date” parents and siblings. It would allow them to be able to build friendships and know how to talk to people of the opposite sex.

[grandmadugger]

10 hours ago, Bazinga said:

Back to the remodel video, anyone else notice that John was removing the popcorn ceiling without a mask on? I'm no contractor, but that seems like a major don't to me! (and before anyone jumps that there might not being any masks for sale 1) it appears they filmed this awhile ago and 2) if there is no mask available, maybe wait to do a project that might endanger your health).

John should have a mask for his regular job. I would hope that they donated surplus but I would assume they kept some to keep the employees safe. 

[freethemall]

So Alyssa had posted some stories of homeschooling her kids, talked about Allie starting "kindergarden". Because if you can't spell it, you certainly shouldn't be teaching it.

[marmalade]

I can't believe that spellcheck didn't try to correct that. 

[AussieKrissy]

56 minutes ago, marmalade said:

I can't believe that spellcheck didn't try to correct that. 

Was going to come here and say the same thing. All I can think is maybe it did and she was like ah no that’s not the word.... if so the arrogance to not recheck... sigh this is the Mid-Evil woman.

small graces, I do believe that kindergarten is German for garden of children. 

I must add, thank the stars my daughter is not needing to be homeschooled. My grammar and all that Jazz is garbage. The difference is, I know that and I’m not about to homeschool, my lack of knowledge. 

[AussieKrissy]

Just looked. She corrected the spelling 

[formergothardite]

Alyssa really, really, really doesn't need to be educating any children. At least not until she educates herself. 

[Paperplate]

On 5/7/2020 at 4:43 AM, freethemall said:

So Alyssa had posted some stories of homeschooling her kids, talked about Allie starting "kindergarden". Because if you can't spell it, you certainly shouldn't be teaching it.

I often catch myself spelling it "kindergarden" too because that's how you pronounce it. And I know German so I'm  very sure of the correct spelling.

It doesn't really matter whether Alyssa is good at spelling or not though. Her input into the girls' schooling basically ended after she bought the curriculum. She's not really teaching anyone. All the girls seem to do is watch videos. And anyone can drill someone with flashcards. No skills needed.

[formergothardite]

3 hours ago, Paperplate said:

t doesn't really matter whether Alyssa is good at spelling or not though. Her input into the girls' schooling basically ended after she bought the curriculum. She's not really teaching anyone. All the girls seem to do is watch videos. And anyone can drill someone with flashcards. No skills needed.

It does matter since she is the one responsible for grading all tests and quizzes and observing her children to make sure they are learning what they need to learn. Abeka pushes that this is "real" homeschooling since the parents are the ones responsible for administering test and grading papers.  She could do the accredited Abeka program where she then sends samples of the graded tests and papers in for them to evaluate, but either way, Alyssa is going to be responsible for knowing if her children can pass tests and spell. If she is uneducated, then she will not pick up if her children are struggling to learn while watching a classroom on the television. 

[nausicaa]

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

It does matter since she is the one responsible for grading all tests and quizzes and observing her children to make sure they are learning what they need to learn. Abeka pushes that this is "real" homeschooling since the parents are the ones responsible for administering test and grading papers.  She could do the accredited Abeka program where she then sends samples of the graded tests and papers in for them to evaluate, but either way, Alyssa is going to be responsible for knowing if her children can pass tests and spell. If she is uneducated, then she will not pick up if her children are struggling to learn while watching a classroom on the television. 

Also, I've noticed even among non-homeschooled children, the kids who come from families in which there are intellectual discussions at the dinner table and the parents read for fun and watch documentaries have a huge leg up in school over other kids. They are more tuned in to current events, they have larger vocabularies, and they think of reading as a leisure activity, not a punishment done solely for school.

I imagine this is even more true when your parents are your teachers. I think the Webster house is an intellectual wasteland and those girls are spending their "sponge years" getting absolutely no stimulation or encouragement from Alyssa inside or outside of their curriculum. 

[Audrey2]

We all knew people when we were in school who weren't into the academic part of it. Some were really into activities, or fashion, while others hadn't found their interest yet. I see Alyssa as one of these students- I think she would have passed classes okay, but she didn't have academic interests. Unfortunately, she is doubly screwed. First, she was a Bates, and we know they preach homeschooling. Even more unfortunately, she married someone whose Dad is a vocal advocate for home schooling. Because of pressure (my perception) from both sets of parents, Alyssa doesn't have much choice but to homeschool, even though, if she had gone to public school, I don't think she would have cared for school.

If any of the Bates adult offspring send their children to a non-homeschool, it would have to be an adult who lives away from the Bates area (if they live close, Tori will teach them), and is married to someone who is open to trying external schooling. I can only seeing one of the boys doing this, and only if he (like Zack) marries someone from outside their Fundie circle.

[Sheltie]

I agree Audrey.  I don’t think it’s anything against Kelly’s teaching.  I think it’s more that Alyssa just isn’t interested.  I think the result would be the same no matter how Alyssa got her education.

[Johannah]

Was Katie’s boyfriend/courtship partner (?) homeschooled?

[marmalade]

38 minutes ago, Johannah said:

Was Katie’s boyfriend/courtship partner (?) homeschooled?

I'm about 95% sure he was. 

[llucie]

8 hours ago, Johannah said:

Was Katie’s boyfriend/courtship partner (?) homeschooled?

You mean Travis Clark? there is a photo at his insta on his graduation ceremony, it looks like a church afiliated private school to me.

[Johannah]

So maybe Katie’s kids have the best shot at school attendance. Especially if she moves to New Jersey instead of staying in Tennessee. 

[Lgirlrocks]

I’m going to go and a limb and say that Zach and Whitney may not home school either. If Tori keeps having kids she won’t be able to home school everyone else’s kids as well as take care of her own. 
when I was a kid I wanted to be a teacher. I was being home schooled at the time. My mom told me to just home school my kids. She said this way I could be a teacher. I don’t care the amount of pressure I would never home school unless there was no other option. I think Jill Dillard, Duggar, stepping out of the mold will allow for others to do the same.