Alyssa & John 5: She's Raising Fashion Conscious Girls

[freethemall]

On 6/23/2020 at 2:26 AM, neuroticcat said:

I think it’s good if she’s questioning meritocracy. Maybe it will begin to crack the fundie ideology.

Except she recovered, so the lesson she likely took was that God puts you through tests and if you pray enough he will heal you and you will end up with a stronger testimony that are you are now required to witness (like this video). We've seen fundies go harder after some kind of religious questioning, like Joy and Jinger Duggar.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

On 6/25/2020 at 7:45 PM, freethemall said:

Except she recovered, so the lesson she likely took was that God puts you through tests and if you pray enough he will heal you and you will end up with a stronger testimony that are you are now required to witness (like this video). We've seen fundies go harder after some kind of religious questioning, like Joy and Jinger Duggar.

Yep.  I've known a lot of fundy-lite people who are full of praise and give God full credit to healing themselves or a loved one.

I've never known one who had an answer for why innocent children continue to die from disease.  Other than "God's will" and "calling an angel home" which are non-answers.

[llg1234]

Nothing like celebrating the fact that your child is ready to be a sister mom

Please please please be done with kids. 

[clueliss]

I just saw that in Instagram and thought, congrats Alyssa, you’ve raised a sister mom.  Good work.  
 

free allie

[Skeptic55]

Everything is twisted with them. I was likewise thrilled when my 6yo was able to come downstairs, get her and her brother’s breakfast (within reason - I set it up the night before), and occupied themselves for a minute. But my kid isn’t a pseudo-mom, and I don’t expect her to watch her brother while I continue to have babies. Her comment takes on an entirely different meaning because we know the history behind it with her own upbringing.

[Perrierwithlemon]

I guess the next thread title needs to be "she's raising sister-moms."

[catlady]

I didn’t like that line about her hard work paying off.  That makes it sound like dressing her own kids is a chore she wants to avoid, because after five years, she’s had enough.  Yeah, I really hope she’s done having kids.

[Perrierwithlemon]

2 hours ago, catlady said:

I didn’t like that line about her hard work paying off.  That makes it sound like dressing her own kids is a chore she wants to avoid, because after five years, she’s had enough.  Yeah, I really hope she’s done having kids.

Or it sounds like she's been training Allie to do that. No 5yo should be responsible for dressing their siblings. She should be playing dress-up and engaging in imaginative play at that age. Fundie parenting is so twisted. 

[formergothardite]

5 hours ago, Perrierwithlemon said:

Or it sounds like she's been training Allie to do that.

That is what it sounds like to me. Like she worked hard to make sure Allie could care for herself and her siblings and Alyssa is now happy because she can avoid her children even more than she already does. 

[neuroticcat]

I think this is actively taught in fundie circles...”work yourself out of a job,” Michelle or Kelley or probably both always say. Teach your kids as much as possible-so you won’t have to do it anymore. I think it’s a sad necessity with mega families but also is part of their philosophy of authority/power with the parents.

Facebook keeps giving me some ad that is this smiling mom selling her chore system saying, “I have eight kids and haven’t done a dish in five years!” It makes me mad every time I see it.

I’m all for giving kids responsibility and think it’s great for their sense of purpose when they contribute meaningfully to a household. But that’s for THEIR benefit or everyone’s well being not for the parent’s leisure. And if you do give them meaningful jobs? Pay them for it in some kind of currency. Because, in my opinion, that’s actually teaching them how the world works. 

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

I think this is actively taught in fundie circles...”work yourself out of a job,” Michelle or Kelley or probably both always say. Teach your kids as much as possible-so you won’t have to do it anymore. I think it’s a sad necessity with mega families but also is part of their philosophy of authority/power with the parents.

Facebook keeps giving me some ad that is this smiling mom selling her chore system saying, “I have eight kids and haven’t done a dish in five years!” It makes me mad every time I see it.

I’m all for giving kids responsibility and think it’s great for their sense of purpose when they contribute meaningfully to a household. But that’s for THEIR benefit or everyone’s well being not for the parent’s leisure. And if you do give them meaningful jobs? Pay them for it in some kind of currency. Because, in my opinion, that’s actually teaching them how the world works. 

I never understood the contradiction of giving young children adult responsibilities, yet once those children grow to be young adults, curtailing their freedoms and developmentally    Appropriate opportunities to the point of making them unfit? unprepared? for life outside the bubble. Such a stain on the entire approach if you ask me. It’s all about control, and nothing more, as far as I can tell.

[nausicaa]

On 7/3/2020 at 4:55 PM, formergothardite said:

That is what it sounds like to me. Like she worked hard to make sure Allie could care for herself and her siblings and Alyssa is now happy because she can avoid her children even more than she already does. 

Yeah, "all my hard work paying off" is what gets me. Otherwise, I could just see her celebrating her daughter's development and leadership skills. 

But the "hard work" comment really suggests she's been training Allie to do this. I'm all for chores, but dressing one's siblings is way too much for a five year old to be tasked with. 

I'm also worried because we already know Allie's school program is subpar to say the least and household tasks may begin to take priority over education if Alyssa continues down this route. I know an overwhelmed mother who homeschooled her kids with the best of intentions but gradually began to use the two oldest daughters to help her watch and tutor the younger kids, make lunch and clean up, and do yard work. The parents would speak proudly of this, and I thought "When on earth do those girls do their schoolwork?" They're in high school now and despite being quite bright, are testing several grade levels below where they should be. 

[formergothardite]

21 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

Facebook keeps giving me some ad that is this smiling mom selling her chore system saying, “I have eight kids and haven’t done a dish in five years!” It makes me mad every time I see it.

I've been getting that exact same ad! It kind of seemed like this is another version of the Maxwell's managers of the home. The point of that system is to put as much work on the children so the parents don't actually have to do it, which is just so, so sad. 

18 hours ago, nausicaa said:

But the "hard work" comment really suggests she's been training Allie to do this. I'm all for chores, but dressing one's siblings is way too much for a five year old to be tasked with. 

It really does appear that Alyssa's goal has been to train Allie to care for her siblings. I agree, children that age need to start learning to help around the house and do some basic self care like getting themselves dressed, but not taking care of their toddler siblings! Even if Alyssa has no more children after this, I still think she will do as little parenting and teaching as possible. She only has three children and she has pretty much already checked out of parenting and homeschooling. After she dresses her children in matching outfits she seems bored with them. And John seems to be perfectly okay with all this. 

[Johannah]

Their entire family would benefit from those girls going to a real school

[Deleorean88mph]

12 hours ago, Johannah said:

Their entire family would benefit from those girls going to a real school

The Dillards broke the mold and that's huge by fundie standards. Idk what prompted it, was it because Jill was overwhelmed with homeschooling? Israel needed more socialization?  Derrick went to school so he realized what his kids would otherwise be missing out on? Whatever the reason, good for them!

As for the Websters. John's father is a homeschool advocate. I'm guessing John was homeschooled. Alyssa also doesn't know any different. 

[SassyPants]

13 hours ago, Deleorean88mph said:

The Dillards broke the mold and that's huge by fundie standards. Idk what prompted it, was it because Jill was overwhelmed with homeschooling? Israel needed more socialization?  Derrick went to school so he realized what his kids would otherwise be missing out on? Whatever the reason, good for them!

As for the Websters. John's father is a homeschool advocate. I'm guessing John was homeschooled. Alyssa also doesn't know any different. 

So they say. Let’s wait to see if a Dillard actually attends PS. I think the chances of that happening would have been greater if Covid-19 hadn’t emerged.

[JanasTattooParlor]

41 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

So they say. Let’s wait to see if a Dillard actually attends PS. I think the chances of that happening would have been greater if Covid-19 hadn’t emerged.

So I went and looked at the school district website for the district that Israel will be attending school in and they appear to be opening as planned with face to face instruction starting August 13th. Kids 10 and up are required to wear masks, they talk of redesigning classrooms and cafeterias to promote social distancing, potentially just having lunch brought to students in their classroom, special area classes having the teacher come to their room to have class, etc. So I guess we'll see in about a month if Jill posts a first day of school pic of him or not. 

[Bobology]

It's possible Derick encouraged public school because he went to public schools (I'm assuming here... did he?) and he realized doing so did not limit or deter his religious faith (another assumption.) Ooohh, many assumptions are being made here, lol. Where IS that meme?

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, Bobology said:

It's possible Derick encouraged public school because he went to public schools (I'm assuming here... did he?) and he realized doing so did not limit or deter his religious faith (another assumption.) Ooohh, many assumptions are being made here, lol. Where IS that meme?

My guess: Derick realised thay Jill was unable to properly homeschool, and he is too proud to have illiterate children. He understood that only a real school could help his boys to get a future degree/ accreditation. Why a public one? Because no money for a private Christian one.

[Melissa1977]

On 7/6/2020 at 12:41 PM, formergothardite said:

After she dresses her children in matching outfits she seems bored with them. And John seems to be perfectly okay with all this

Alyssa is clearly bored and overwhelmed with motherhood... but she only has 3! She doesn't play with them, doesn't homeschool, barely cooks them real meals, and now not even dresses them.  She put a lot more effort when Allie was little (healthy food, activities etc)

Alyssa and John were undoubtely hard workers in the past. Now, maybe because Alyssa's health problems, have turned lazy and only dream of fast food, grifted outfits and child-free moments. While there are worse fundies, it's a bit sad to see how they are losing themselves. 

[AussieKrissy]

I too have wondered if Jill will homeschool now because of covid

[EmiSue]

34 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

I too have wondered if Jill will homeschool now because of covid

I had the same thought. I'm homeschooling my son this coming year because of covid and he's the same age as Izzy. My husband and I and most of our family and friends went to public school, so this wasn't something we ever thought we'd do. It's just a response to the emergency the US is in because of the pandemic. I can't imagine the pressure Jill would be under to reverse course and I hope if she does it's only temporary. 

[GreyhoundFan]

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