Lori Alexander 25: A Wife Is a Good *Thing*

[SusanDelgado]

That poor Kay woman. How long until that gets deleted? 

[usmcmom]

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There were many things I was changing in my life at that time, and confessing to her, seeking her help to hold me accountable for them. What I discovered was that my vulnerability was leading her to finally open up and she too was becoming more vulnerable.

^Ken never says what he was changing about himself. He has never named one specific thing that HE was doing wrong in the marriage. Remember when Lori trashed Lysa TerKeurst for only telling one side of the story?  Isn't that what Lori's book and blog are all about - one side of the story?  We are only told of Lori's failures and none of Ken's. I have no sympathy for Lori but it has always bothered me that Ken likes to paint himself as blameless from day one. 

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“Can I test you?” I asked.  To which she quickly agreed that I could test her in any way I wanted to. No time limit, no take backs, she was going to please me no matter what the costs. Vulnerability and trust had finally come after 20 years of marriage.

I read a quote somewhere that went something like "Never throw someone's past in their face when you know they are trying to change."

I've always thought it was really despicable of Ken to set Lori up for failure by insisting he "test" her. He was deliberately being a stumbling block to his wife as she was supposedly trying to become exactly what he wanted. 

It makes me wonder how he and Lori treated their kids when they were trying to reach a goal. When their daughters were struggling with their weight (aka trying to lose 5 pounds because their parents said they were fat) did they wave donuts in front of their face?  

[quiversR4hunting]

7 hours ago, Koala said:

Here's Ken's version of that:

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 I took care of the kids' sports, my job, my food, my ironing

When asked to iron a shirt, Lori's response was:

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You know ironing is awfully tiring.

And from the book, this Ken's version

[Curious]

16 hours ago, polecat said:

So Lori claimed to take the kids to "basketball, baseball or soccer practice or games; depending upon the time of the year," but Ken said, "I took care of the kids' sports, my job, my food, my ironing." 

These two are the worst liars ever.

I have wondered about this and wonder if they are telling the "truth" as they saw it.  Lori has problems lying, as we know, but since Ken was gone so much of the time, I wonder if she feels like she took the kids and when Ken was home, he took them.

Kind of like Lori said they never used time outs (which I believe is true for *her* because she likes spanking way too much), but Ken said they used timeouts frequently.  Maybe when he was home they did use time outs more often.

Or maybe they are just both lying lairs who lie.

[delphinium65]

16 hours ago, SuperNova said:

I would like confess here and now that I am a foot massage giving helpmeet. Yes, after Mr Nova takes off his own shoes and takes a shower I gladly rub his feet. Then we switch and it's my turn:) 

That sounds fair to me.   

I help my husband with his foot care, but he doesn't help with mine, for a very specific reason: He's a diabetic, with peripheral neuropathy, and I'm not.  But I have no doubt whatsoever that if he thought I wanted his hands on my feet (I'm not real crazy about being massaged, just one of my numerous personal quirks) he would very happily do it.  It's not always what specifically is done, or isn't done, it's being willing to do things.  It's a two-way street here, and Aunt Lori seems incapable of grasping that simple concept.  

[Chocolatedefrauded]

I confess, I trim my husband's toenails cause he butchers it. It started a couple years ago when his nails were getting caught in his socks & he could not figure out how to fix it. He was cutting straight across, like they tell you to, so the ends were sharp. I angle his nails to the shape of his toe. Problem solved. 

It doesn't seem that big a deal to me except that his feet are runner's feet & kind of gross. He does stuff for me that he would rather not so I have to return the favor. Trade off. We negotiate stuff like this all the time. Every couple does stuff that others think is weird or gross. To each his/her own!

[BlackSheep]

Another post about why women should be silent in church.

Is she trying to make us go away by boring us to death?

Her life must be miserable for her to think that her posts are actually interesting and inspiring - not to mention biblical.

[EowynW]

15 hours ago, SusanDelgado said:

That poor Kay woman. How long until that gets deleted? 

 

1 minute ago, BlackSheep said:

Another post about why women should be silent in church.

Is she trying to make us go away by boring us to death?

Her life must be miserable for her to think that her posts are actually interesting and inspiring - not to mention biblical.

She's sounding more hateful everyday. It isn't even a blog to instruct women anymore. It's a place for a bitter bitch to spew bile. 

[usmcmom]

She's like a petulant teenager who takes things to the extreme over one statement from anybody. Actually, Ken is too 

Parent: No, you can't have the car tonight. I need it to run errands. 

Teenager: *stomps foot* Oh, so I NEVER GET TO DRIVE AGAIN?!? EVER?!?  

Rmemenr when someone asked Ken why he didn't stop playing basketball to help his ill wife? His response was the same (paraphrased) "Oh, I guess I'm not allowed any down time to decompress from my demanding job?!?" 

[Koala]

PROOF that Lori wants to teach men:

Reader

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My husband thinks it’s ok for me to testify during service. He thinks it could help someone. My pastor feels it’s good it lets people know that you are saved.

Lori:

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You may want to share this post with him, Karla, and see what he thinks since Scripture is clear that women are to be silent in the church but then leave the decision up to him since he is your head!

Why?  Unless Lori is trying to TEACH him scripture, what would be the purpose of showing him the post?  

How does Lori know that she hasn't been deceived?  Does she know more than not one, but two men?

A couple of comments below, Lori says:

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Women are still the same and want to be in control. We talk too much and act like we know everything but we are definitely more easily deceived than men and men were made first by God to be the leaders.

Umm, hello?  Didn't Lori *just* act like she knew more than Karla's husband and pastor?

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

5 hours ago, BlackSheep said:

Another post about why women should be silent in church.

So they are able to take more photos?

[Corntree]

I'm so tired of fundies like Lori saying you can't have two leaders in a marriage. I mean, a marriage is only two people. It's not a huge corporation that would probably benefit from leadership. (My husband just pointed out that some corporations have co-leaders, which according to fundie logic wouldn't work b/c everyone would be fighting and nothing would get done.) I am basically a traditional SAHM, but I have never been submissive to my husband and he has never wanted me to be. I think he would find the idea ridiculous. We respect each other and talk things out and neither of us tries to control the other and we have a great marriage. We don't care about one of us being the leader, we just love each other and work together. And we are not miserable as Lori would like to believe. Also, "Ken's Side of the Story" was just gross. When Lori asked what she could do to please him right now, he said if he'd been thinking more clearly he would've led her to the bedroom. Glad you married a blow-up doll, Ken! And then she agreed that he could start testing her to see if she would really do anything he asked. Why do these men want mindless slaves for wives? Is that real love? I don't think so.

[feministxtian]

Feet: OH HELL NO!!! I don't touch his, he doesn't touch mine. I go get pedicures every few weeks. 

Wives being controlling in a marriage: Yes, I was at one time. Hubby had screwed up really bad. So, if he wanted his second chance, well, I was calling the shots. That's since changed back to collaborative leadership (what the hell is there to lead, it's just the 2 of us). We pretty much discuss everything and if one or the other feels strongly, then that's usually the way it goes. Stupid example: My old Nook up and died on me. I wanted a new one RIGHT THEN. I had the $$. Hubby says that he'd rather I wait until he got paid or at least the week he got paid. I really can't drive right now (back injury + narcotics = not a good idea to be driving) so, guess who waited? Yup...me! It's all good though, we went Monday to get it and he bought me the cover and no-glare screen cover. But it's not like there was any fighting or pouting (well, maybe just a little) or someone screaming about getting their way and to hell with anyone else. 

Lori is a twisted individual and I think she and Ken have this sick, co-dependent, passive-aggressive thing going on. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

SOTDRT strikes again!  From an FB comment on Lori's post "women should be silent in church':

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Our first church was pastured by a woman 

So she was a woman pasture?  I had no idea pastures had a gender.

[SuperNova]

2 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Feet: OH HELL NO!!! I don't touch his, he doesn't touch mine. I go get pedicures every few weeks. 

What's wrong with feet? Mr. Nova has nice feet and I don't mind touching them. I don't like strangers touching me so a pedi at the spa is a no for me. 

I have a sis who would agree with you. She can't even stand to see feet in sandals. 

[feministxtian]

2 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

What's wrong with feet?

I'm just not into feet. I like the pedis because I do wear sandals/flipflops almost exclusively almost year 'round (live in the desert so we really don't get much of a winter). However, I just think they're gross. 

[Curious]

I don't like random strangers touching me...period.   I HATE anyone touching my feet because they are super screwed up due to nerve damage.  However, if someone is going to touch my feet, I prefer it's my husband because he knows the least stressful ways to touch them.  Also, he trims my toenails because I'm not bendable enough to do it myself. 

This is not a task he enjoys, but he does it without (too much) complaining because it is how it is.  He does a lot of personal hygiene help (that I am not going to detail here) for me with no complaints.  

I somehow doubt that Ken would be willing to do the level of care my husband does, given that he didn't seem to be at the hospital much when she was in there for her salt deficiency or whatever it was.

[polecat]

7 hours ago, SuperNova said:

What's wrong with feet? Mr. Nova has nice feet and I don't mind touching them. I don't like strangers touching me so a pedi at the spa is a no for me. 

I have a sis who would agree with you. She can't even stand to see feet in sandals. 

I have the issues as @feministxtian and your sister about feet. Even with my kids. When they were babies, I loved their fat, pudgy toes. Now that they're teens/preteens, they like to creep me out by sticking their feet out at me. Nope, nope, nope. My husband's feet aren't any better (although his are usually soft and clean because he doesn't go barefoot like they do, lol). But no, feet gross me out, and it's not something I think I could just get over.

[Koala]

Navy shirt and shorts pic should be posted every time she tries to shame women about being immodest.  My lord, do her readers ever get sick of reading the same damn thing every week??

[delphinium65]

22 minutes ago, Koala said:

Navy shirt and shorts pic should be posted every time she tries to shame women about being immodest.  My lord, do her readers ever get sick of reading the same damn thing every week??

Yeah, I saw she yammering on about modesty again.  Aunt Lori, Patron Saint of Ass-Hanging-Out-Shorts.

[molecule]

She didn't even get the title of the book right. 

She said,

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A godly, pastor’s wife lent me her book Modesty: More Think a Change of Clothes by Martha Peace and Pastor Kent Keller.

The correct title is Modesty: More Than a Change of Clothes.

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I also disagree that any of God’s principles can be made too big a deal about

So when the bible speaks against gossip or self-centeredness and she is challenged about those things, why does she think people are making too big a deal about them?

[AlwaysDiscerning]

What the hell? This is the biggest contradiction ever from what she said the other week

[Koala]

Lori:

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Yes, you are right, but we must be careful to not disrupt the church service in any way. I have sat in front of women who chat quietly with each other for a long time during the sermon and it’s very distracting. 

Unless you're a guest, in which case it's totally okay to take videos and try to snap pictures of celebrities.  That's not distracting at all. 

I also like that in response to one of her readers, Lori begins:

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If you knew your Bible, Emily, you would know...

Nice.  Leave it to Lori to use her "ministry" as an opportunity to talk to people like they are absolute dirt beneath her spoiled little feet.

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Ken likes my skirts and dresses above my knees a few inches so this is where I wear them. Others believe this is immodest but I don’t care since it’s my husband who sets my standards.

Then why post about modesty?  Shouldn't it be left to fathers and husbands to "set the standard" for what's appropriate?  Lori's opinion shouldn't be needed at all.

As a side note, Ken has said many times "Lori would disagree with me on this..." or "Lori and I don't agree on this.  He most certainly doesn't set her standards.

 

[EowynW]

My husband says I can wear whatever I want. Therefore no one has the right to disagree since my boss made the rules. :D!

[TeddyBonkers]

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If you knew your Bible, Emily, you would know that this meant eating bread and drinking wine for communion in remembrance of Christ’s death on the cross and His shed blood for the forgiveness of our sins. It’s something our church does once a month.

If you knew YOUR Bible, Lori, you'd at least make an attempt to explain that Jesus was using symbolic language when he said, "Take, eat, this IS my body. Take, drink, this IS my blood". 

(Or, you know, you could think he was being literal. I'm of the belief that it's both bread and body, wine and blood. Lutherans, we can't make up our mind! lol)

And if I recall my confirmation classes correctly, it was the Passover Meal that Jesus was at with his disciples. Yes?