Lori Alexander 20: Evil and Hateful as Ever

[usmcmom]

4 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I hate to admit it but her food did look good. But I can't imagine eating the same thing everyday and poor Mr. EW, as unpicky as he is, would probably keep over. 

 

Really bugged me how she kept saying stevia. Maybe it's a California thing. I have it growing in my herb garden and have to use it instead of sugar but I've never heard it pronounced like that before.

  

 

 

I have realized that most of food would have close to zero calories. A bag of lettuce with a few vegetables added in? Nearly void of calories. Her snack of peppers and cucumbers? A bowl of vegetable soup? All nearly without calories. Sure, the dressing would have some calories, as would any protein she might add to her salad. The few chips and homemade chcolotale would have a few calories, but it seems to me she is deliberately making her eating plan based on zero calorie foods. Her breakfast is the only meal that appears healthy and filling to me - an actual meal that will fuel her body for a few hours. A body needs protein to maintain muscle (and to keep us full) and healthy carbs for energy. 

But I actually wanted to also comment on the pronunciation of stevia. I also have never heard of it pronounced that way. My husband works in the food ingredient industry and sweeteners are a huge part of their research and development. He actually worked for the company that developed the technology that allowed the creation of sucralose (Splenda). Anyway, I asked him and he said that in all his meetings with marketers of Stevia, he has always heard it prounounced "Stee-vee-uh," with the long "e" sound. It could be a regional thing or Lori could be uneducated about the products she uses. 

I do think Lori is quite knowledgeable about food and very healthy eating. She reminds me of my sister, who is also very knowledgeable about food and also underweight and struggling with many health issues. The knowledge is a great thing but, in my opinion, they use it to LIMIT their own nutrition instead of improving and expanding it. 

[EowynW]

Yes that's exactly how I and everyone else I know of pronounces it. 

 

This reminds me that I need to go cut back some of my stevia today as it is getting leggy. 

 

Her post today makes me want to scream. I suppose my bout with adrenal and thyroid issues throwing me into terrible anxiety and moderate depression was all in my head and punishment for working a job. 

[BlackSheep]

We've learned this week that feminism causes barrenness, infertility, divorce, depression, and suicide.

If we women would quit our jobs, stay at home, have babies, and submit to our husbands, these things would stop happening!

/s 

 

 

[Red Jumper]

@usmcmom I gave it a try to find some line on her old blog where she said she cooked or fixed Ken something. I didn't bother with the new blog because she is not getting any nicer towards others.

The closest thing I found was this from 03/18/2013:

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Yes, I knew I was suppose to be submissive but I thought since I had his children, cleaned his home, and fixed meals for him, I was being a good, little submissive wife.

I did find some other posts:
from 2011

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We have been making this bread for many years now and I've never ruined it!  Ken refuses to eat any other kind of bread.

This could mean Ken made it and her part was refraining from ruining it (or at least was never successful). Or "we" means they both baked together but as a woman with a home economics class she is so good that she did not manage to ruin their joint effort.


On Jan 5/2013 she posted a cookie recipe. Her is the first line:

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Ken has been making these for many years and they are a hit for everyone that eats them!

So in a home that is so divided into blue/pink roles with a command man and a godly mentor, it is normal that the husband bakes? I thought cooking and baking is wivey's task? 

i also found a post from 2012 where she said Ken grew up in the Caribbean and therefor loves curry. We never heard about her cooking curry in recent times, right? If my husband loves a kind of food, we eat it a lot more times than once in 5 years.

Would she be someone nice and honest, I would have give her a pass on simply never writing about her cooking for Ken. But this is Lori the liar.

[Free Jana Duggar]

OK, y'all, how is it I do not suffer from depression?  My mother was 17 when she had me. She worked and left me in daycare.  How have I survived?   My grandmother was a SAHM with my mom and aunts and some of them have had depression.  

My husband and his sister had a SAHM. She has had depression, but he has not.

Depression has nothing to do with a mother being home. It is either medical or could be due to circumstances in your life.  Some people have a harder life than others and it affects them. 

 

[TeddyBonkers]

I'm curious as to where in Lori's Bible (which appears to contain only Titus 2 and Proverbs 31) it gives her the authority to preach about how to cure depression. While her screeds against yoga pants, feminism, and working moms are offensive enough, her "depression is all in your head" shit is FUCKING DANGEROUS. Sweet baby Jesus, Flying Spaghetti Monster, Zeus, or any deity listening, please keep all women, but especially those who might suffer from depression away from Lori's blog, church, and Facebook account.

 

[BlackSheep]

When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

To Lori, anything bad that happens is because a woman didn't stay at home and submit to her husband.

[EowynW]

29 minutes ago, BlackSheep said:

We've learned this week that feminism causes barrenness, infertility, divorce, depression, and suicide.

If we women would quit our jobs, stay at home, have babies, and submit to our husbands, these things would stop happening!

/s 

 

 

Andrea Yates was a good little submit to thy man homeschooling mom and yet look what happened there. 

 

That story still upsets me to this day because it's so fundie like. I truly believe those toxic fundie believes helped set the stage for that tragedy. She was aSAHM, homeschooling, husband wouldn't use birth control, one kid after another, etc etc 

[louisa05]

4 hours ago, Jellybean said:

I worry about Lori's calcium intake - she probably gets enough vitamin D just from being out in the sun, but the sample daily food intake doesn't show much, if any, calcium. It doesn't sound as though she does weight-bearing exercise. On top of both of those, hypopituitarism (loss of pituitary hormones secondary to Lori's tumours) can also contribute to severe osteoporosis. I'm worried about her bone health and really hope she has appropriate monitoring and treatment. A nasty fracture in someone who is underweight and not particularly strong or active could be pretty devastating for her.

 

I try to be a good and compassionate human. I really do. But, that said, I cannot bring myself to worry about Lori. She has access to healthcare and the wherewithal to find reliable nutrition advice as well. She chooses to remain ignorant and eat that poor diet. So the consequences are her own problem. 

I might not feel that way if she didn't spend her life giving horrifying advice on this topic and every other one she addresses to people who seem to believe every ignorant word. 

[EowynW]

Just now, BlackSheep said:

When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

To Lori, anything bad that happens is because a woman didn't stay at home and submit to her husband.

Oh if life were that simple. 

[usmcmom]

37 minutes ago, Koala said:

In today's notebook doodle, she exhorts her readers to "stay clueless".

Mission accomplished, Lori...mission accomplished.

Good for Lori! She is finally following her own advice. Baby steps....

[polecat]

15 hours ago, dairyfreelife said:

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/06/emma-isnt-boss.html

From that link:

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 I asked him when he first fell in love with her. Most dads do when they start responding to them. 

I get tired of her generalizations. How the heck does she know what "most dads" do? This is what KEN did. This is not what "most dads" do. My husband was enamored of our children while they were in utero. He'd lie awake at night and smile as I snuggled against his back, fast asleep, because he could feel our babies kicking against his back. He went to every appointment with me and grinned from ear-to-ear every time he heard the heartbeat. And from what I've seen, my husband is NOT an exception. 

So no, it doesn't take a response for dad to fall in love. Not even "most" dads. Not the ones I've known, anyway. 

[Koala]

First reply is up.  Can't wait to see Queen Lori's response.  Her entire "ministry" is based on telling women how they should look, what they should wear, and what they should think.  She's got to tell them they don't measure up..."make them feel bad, you know".

Reader:

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 I think women get so bombarded with what the world thinks of how women should look, what they should wear, what they should think and say and what crowd you hang with. It's tough living in this world today comaped to back in the old days...women didn't feel they need to measure up or have the pressures they do now and that's sad! it's not right! it comes at all angles for us women compared to men especially how you look! I get so tired of it all! Women we need to stop listening to the lies of this world. Our bodies will never be perfect this side of heaven! We need to live the way Christ intended for us to live. His ways are always better! And His word is truth! The worlds ways are not truth! 

 

[BlackSheep]

Ken's reply to a comment under Bringing Clarity to Women in Ministry:

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Excellent Tiny Tim… the church would be no where without every member in ministry of some sort, but just as God is the head of Christ, and Christ the head of the church, and elders to be the overseers of the church and teachers of the men. All other ministries are open to women which is a broad number and purpose. We will have to ask God all of why He determined this order but many of us can surmise why, and the apostle Paul actually gives us reasons why.

Wait wait, let me guess... Because Eve was tempted! Because women are the weaker vessel!

Such reasoning became irrelevant when Christ went to the cross. Christ died so that I could have a personal relationship with him. My personal relationship with Christ is more important than any headship that a mortal man might have over me.

[dairyfreelife]

1 hour ago, polecat said:

From that link:

I get tired of her generalizations. How the heck does she know what "most dads" do? This is what KEN did. This is not what "most dads" do. My husband was enamored of our children while they were in utero. He'd lie awake at night and smile as I snuggled against his back, fast asleep, because he could feel our babies kicking against his back. He went to every appointment with me and grinned from ear-to-ear every time he heard the heartbeat. And from what I've seen, my husband is NOT an exception. 

So no, it doesn't take a response for dad to fall in love. Not even "most" dads. Not the ones I've known, anyway. 

Even better is that Ryan didn't agree either saying he loved Emma while Erin was pregnant with her. I thought the same thing when I read that-Ken didn't like them until they were older. That's not the experience I have gathered from most dads though.

[jerkit]

"Most people do X" actually means "people in my immediate sphere do X and I am incapable of admitting other people may do Y"

 

HTH

[polecat]

More of Dr. Lori's medical wisdom: 

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I believe the main cause of postpartum depression is not getting enough sleep

The NIH says: 

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Postpartum depression does not occur because of something a mother does or does not do.

It adds:

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After childbirth, the levels of hormones (estrogen and progesterone) in a woman’s body quickly drop. This leads to chemical changes in her brain that may trigger mood swings. 

Not getting enough sleep can certainly exacerbate matters, but it does not CAUSE PPD.

[EowynW]

Something I've been mulling over for awhile is how people like my mom,Aunt Lori, etc expect that just because we are women we want to get married just to have babies. And I hate that.

 

I do hope we have a baby or two. Mr EW will be the most gentle, amazing father and and I know he'll be the perfect co parenting partner. 

 

But I still value my marriage as highest priority. And I still look forward to developing further talents and passions and contributing to my family and society in other ways besides just motherhood. A baby or two will be a welcome icing on the family cake but I don't want it to be my consuming desire and my life revolve around solely being Mom. In one ways I dread motherhood precisely because I'm afraid I'll be sucked into nothing but diapers and play dates and blah blah blah. I'm hoping there's a way to keep it a balanced. 

I hope this makes sense. 

[EowynW]

18 minutes ago, polecat said:

More of Dr. Lori's medical wisdom: 

The NIH says: 

It adds:

Not getting enough sleep can certainly exacerbate matters, but it does not CAUSE PPD.

I guess that's why she ignored her kids all night. 

[polecat]

28 minutes ago, EowynW said:

But I still value my marriage as highest priority. And I still look forward to developing further talents and passions and contributing to my family and society in other ways besides just motherhood. A baby or two will be a welcome icing on the family cake but I don't want it to be my consuming desire and my life revolve around solely being Mom. In one ways I dread motherhood precisely because I'm afraid I'll be sucked into nothing but diapers and play dates and blah blah blah. I'm hoping there's a way to keep it a balanced. 

I hope this makes sense. 

It does make sense.

I think -- and I'm not a psychologist or anything like that, just a mom -- it's almost natural to be sucked into an all-consuming "baby tunnel vision" when they're little. And you don't really mind because your baby is the first baby to ever baby. I mean, no one's baby has ever babied quite as babily as your baby is doing right this very minute. NEVER EVER EVER. I think it's a biological function that helps us keep our babies alive. This little human needs us for everything, so we are naturally inclined to hyperfocus on them. That's my guess, anyway.

At some point, you'll wake up from your baby coma and go, holy heck, what is WRONG with me? And you'll find yourself again. Some women never seem to snap out of the "ZOMG MY CHILDREN ARE MY EVERYTHING!" But I think those women are the ones who have spent their lives wanting nothing more than to be a wife and mother, either because that's their nature or because it's a socially conditioned role. But you won't be that way because you have other hopes and dreams, too. 

 

ETA: I should add that not all women go into a baby coma, either. A lot do, but some just keep puttering on as normal. Whatever you (general) do, that's normal for you!

[Hisey]

8 hours ago, Jellybean said:

(disclaimer: I am not a doctor)

You sure sound like one!

1 hour ago, polecat said:

It does make sense.

I think -- and I'm not a psychologist or anything like that, just a mom -- it's almost natural to be sucked into an all-consuming "baby tunnel vision" when they're little. And you don't really mind because your baby is the first baby to ever baby. I mean, no one's baby has ever babied quite as babily as your baby is doing right this very minute. NEVER EVER EVER. I think it's a biological function that helps us keep our babies alive. This little human needs us for everything, so we are naturally inclined to hyperfocus on them. That's my guess, anyway.

At some point, you'll wake up from your baby coma and go, holy heck, what is WRONG with me? And you'll find yourself again. Some women never seem to snap out of the "ZOMG MY CHILDREN ARE MY EVERYTHING!" But I think those women are the ones who have spent their lives wanting nothing more than to be a wife and mother, either because that's their nature or because it's a socially conditioned role. But you won't be that way because you have other hopes and dreams, too. 

 

ETA: I should add that not all women go into a baby coma, either. A lot do, but some just keep puttering on as normal. Whatever you (general) do, that's normal for you!

I'd like to add that "baby coma" is actually a hugely wonderful, exciting fascinating place to some parents, and they go there because they find it so. It is fun, miraculous and wonderful and you enter it voluntarily. You don't have to. There are parents who are a bit more dispassionate, a bit less entranced, and their kids grow up fine, too. Maybe better, who knows? 

By age 8 or so, your kids welcome a little space, and there is time to do your own thing. 8-year olds don't want their mothers to stay during playdates, are happy to watch tv while you do other things, and don't necessarily need to talk to you every minute of the day. So even if you go into a baby coma, it ends and you can resume your old self again.

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He eats a big salad every night but then likes an omlette or something else once in a while. We both eat very simply, but when my children were at home, especially my sons, I would always make a much heartier and filling dinner for them. I'd make spaghetti, stews, and things like this.

Why? Because your sons want/need/deserve more food than your daughters? 

[EowynW]

when my mom cooked it was always with "the men" in mind. 

 

"They deserve big hearty meals be star they work so hard blah blah"

[EowynW]

Lori giving out PPD advice to a mom who has been struggling with it for 8 years is frightening. My midwife friends are required by law to talk about and present information and many of their clients were so grateful for it. I grew up in the birth community and every once in awhile a story goes around of a severely depressed new mom trying to kill heir child because she wasn't suppprted one she should've. In the midwife circle hey see the most resistance among Christian mothers because the stigma against depression is so strong. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

2 hours ago, polecat said:

It does make sense.

I think -- and I'm not a psychologist or anything like that, just a mom -- it's almost natural to be sucked into an all-consuming "baby tunnel vision" when they're little. And you don't really mind because your baby is the first baby to ever baby. I mean, no one's baby has ever babied quite as babily as your baby is doing right this very minute. NEVER EVER EVER. I think it's a biological function that helps us keep our babies alive. This little human needs us for everything, so we are naturally inclined to hyperfocus on them. That's my guess, anyway.

At some point, you'll wake up from your baby coma and go, holy heck, what is WRONG with me? And you'll find yourself again. Some women never seem to snap out of the "ZOMG MY CHILDREN ARE MY EVERYTHING!" But I think those women are the ones who have spent their lives wanting nothing more than to be a wife and mother, either because that's their nature or because it's a socially conditioned role. But you won't be that way because you have other hopes and dreams, too. 

 

ETA: I should add that not all women go into a baby coma, either. A lot do, but some just keep puttering on as normal. Whatever you (general) do, that's normal for you!

Just remember life has its "seasons".  You may or may not get sucked into a baby coma, but it will pass.  I have never birthed children. Mine are adopted, but it was a huger struggle.  In the late 1990's we had two adoptions that fell through when the birth mother's changed their minds and kept the babies.  I was a wreck and even had a fleeting thought of suicide.   It took about 7-8 years before we could get the nerve to try again.  

Now in my forties,  the thought of a baby?  Hell no!

[EowynW]

We would love to adopt if we cannot conceive. But it seems hugely expensive for working poor(er) folk like us.