Lori Alexander 20: Evil and Hateful as Ever

[Curious]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

there are places in the US where it is possible to buy a house outright if one has saved money for a few years. However, that's not the norm. There are some people who pay their mortgages off early...or finance for 15 years instead of 30. The only way I'll ever buy a house again is if I get a big enough settlement from my car accident to pay cash...otherwise...nope. 

I think another way they buy houses with no mortgage is to find houses in foreclosure that are "fixer uppers".   Think of the Pecans, giant hole in the bedroom floor, each room trashed worse than the next.   Then they fix it up themselves as they go along

 

[Curious]

I've moved the suicide hotline stuff to a new thread you can find here:

I know that thread drift is an integral part of the FJ culture and I normally don't ask this, but in this case, can we please keep the general Lori "Godly Mentor" Alexender and her husband, Ken "Command Man" Alexander here and the suicide post deletion posts in the other thread.

The vile and dangerous methods Lori Alexander uses in running her old blog "Always Learning" and the new one "The Transformed Wife" are getting more dangerous for people that follow her facebook, blog and "monitored" chatroom and deserve a thread all their own.

Don't forget that search engines love keywords to make it easier for people to find what they are looking for

[polecat]

From her Facebook comments on her blog post about children not being the most important: 

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Should be god first then husbands and wife then children then pets.

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Your husband should be the first on your priority list. (After God of course) It is God's order. He is the leader of the family and you are his helpmet. He needs respect. If you treat him as a second class citizen compared to the children he doesn't get the respect he needs and deserves.

2

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One of the greatest gifts a mother can give her children is to love their daddy deeply until death do they part.

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Husband is more important than your kids.
Children are like visitors in form of an inheritance God gives you yo teach and treat well.

It's incredible to me how these people quantify love. Why does loving your children mean your husband is treated like crap? Can they not love both husband and children? Can they not treat everyone well? 

There are different types of love; I love my children differently than I love my husband. Sometimes they are going to be my priority, and sometimes he is. It depends on who needs what at the moment. I prioritize his needs over their wants, and I prioritize their needs over his wants. Actual needs, such as hunger, thirst, sleep, etc. are always prioritized over wants. Always. I don't care whose they are.

That said, small children are going to tend to be prioritized over adults, and adults should have the reasoning ability to understand this. As children get older, they are going to develop more coping skills and can understand that not all wants are needs -- hence, as they mature, they are going to find their wants slipping on the priority scale. This is normal. 

NONE OF THAT means that a mother doesn't love her children's father. A father who cannot understand why his children need their mother more than he does sometimes is a pretty shitty father, imo. A father who demands that he gets all of the attention all of the time is also a pretty shitty father. 

 

 

[lawfulevil]

12 hours ago, Curious said:

I think another way they buy houses with no mortgage is to find houses in foreclosure that are "fixer uppers".   Think of the Pecans, giant hole in the bedroom floor, each room trashed worse than the next.   Then they fix it up themselves as they go along

 

Where I live there aren't any houses like that to buy- even the houses that a former owner/renter totally trashed, the bank pays someone to fix up to some extent before they list again. Anything they won't bother with has problems much too serious for a DIYer- extensive structural issues or mold, history of use manufacturing drugs, that kind of thing.

There was a house down the street in my old neighborhood that the bank finally foreclosed on- the owners had neglected it for years at that point, they were on drugs. They completely trashed the house when they moved out- every surface was ruined, they kicked in the cabinets, smashed the toilets, and took all the doors off*. It was full of trash, there were drifters living in it at some point, and it had a pretty epic rodent infestation that spread to neighboring houses (my cats were catching something 2-3x a day for awhile). The bank sent a team in and when they finished they sold the house for $270,000. The bank, not flippers.

But California is a Godless place, it is well-known, what with our LGBT people and our Disneyland and our Sushirritos. Animal-style fries? CLEARLY OF THE DEVIL- Godly people eat only 4 fries at a time, without salt, ketchup only on feast days. No God-fearing people ought to be living here anyway, so the improbability of a young couple coming up with several hundred thousand dollars in cash before their fertility vanishes... well that's just a problem for the Heathens.

*Yeah, I went and looked- there was no front door!

[BlackSheep]

@lawfulevil, I had to google Sushiritto. Pennsylvania gets things years after the Coasts. I'll keep it in mind for my next trip to NYC though!

 

 

[lawfulevil]

5 minutes ago, BlackSheep said:

@lawfulevil, I had to google Sushiritto. Pennsylvania gets things years after the Coasts. I'll keep it in mind for my next trip to NYC though!

 

 

I was kidding about it being a California thing, they're everywhere now. I looked and you have sushi burrito options- Oishii Poke is the best-reviewed place but there's others.

[Free Jana Duggar]

Just an update: Ken did write me back on FB.  He said someone named Bethany W had his response and I could talk to her.  Don't know who that is though.

[quiversR4hunting]

Houses for 100% down is hard no matter where you live. My area is a lot less expensive than the left and right coast but my salary also reflects that I don't live in an expensive area. If I was to move back "home" (where I grew up) there are many houses less expensive than where I live now but salaries are a little less. (There are also a lot of houses on water where I grew up that I couldn't even touch because of the expense.) 

As others say, either you save forever or you buy a house like Pecan did to buy debt free. 

On 6/3/2017 at 6:12 PM, EowynW said:

Late 80s I think. I remember playing Super Mario's at a friend's house  on the Atari early 90s. 

Yup! Late 80s. My brother, sister and I received one for Christmas one year, we loved it. In the early 80s a cousin of mine had the Atari with the big joy stick. Another friend (mid 80s) had a real arcade Ms Pacman in her basement. I thought they both were super rich.

[Hisey]

3 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Just an update: Ken did write me back on FB.  He said someone named Bethany W had his response and I could talk to her.  Don't know who that is though.

Of course you do. All you trolls know each other.

[lawfulevil]

8 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Of course you do. All you trolls know each other.

Hey, don't drag me into this!

[EowynW]

12 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Of course you do. All you trolls know each other.

Yea he assumed everyone who messaged him were all from FJ & knew everyone else lol

[littlemommy]

8 hours ago, EowynW said:

Yea he assumed everyone who messaged him were all from FJ & knew everyone else lol

He probably thought he appeared terribly clever in pointing it out. I'm sure he literally patted himself on the back for it.

[Joyce]

Ken has a comment or wall of text on the Always Learning Chat Room for Men: 

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Your wife is most likely suffering from a form of depression or anxiety if she is taking the L-Lysine. What is so crazy is that so many women suffer from mental/emotional issues brought on by their own rebellion. One cannot supplement their way out of regularly violating their own stated values. She believes in all the values of goodness, kindness, generosity, love, pleasing others, etc. when it comes to how she is to be treated by her husband, but she won't put in the effort to give you the same consideration. Watch out as this often leads to more serious depression and erratic behavior until some therapist puts a label on it to help excuse the behavior. 

We each have to own our own stuff in life, and when a person is unwilling to own it... there is so little one can do about it. Set your standards as to what is decent behavior towards you and when that is crossed you should have pre-discussed consequences which she does not have to agree to, but you need to carry it out. 

For instance, if she is being defiant or mean with you in front of the children, don't say a word to her, juts tell the kids to get into the car and you are going for ice cream, or in this case to the park. Walk away from her every time she is mean or pull out your phone and video tape her. Be ready in advance for how you will consistently handle these unruly times.

If she is going to church with you you should perhaps ask an elder and their wife if they would meet with you after church on a Sunday. Let her know that this is set up and if she refuses to meet with them, tell her you will be asking the elders to put her under church discipline. The elders may be hesitant to get involved, but this may give her some pause for gaining control over her runaway emotions.

If you play her punching bag she will keep punching. I am not saying to punch back verbally, I am saying that you must find a way to show her that you will not put up with her meanness, and control, especially in front of the kids.

 

Please feel free to move or share in the other thread.

[BlackSheep]

A reader replied:

Soon to be deleted, I'm sure.

14 minutes ago, Joyce said:

Ken has a comment or wall of text on the Always Learning Chat Room for Men: 

Please feel free to move or share in the other thread.

Naturally, no mention of also seeing a doctor. I shudder to think how many women might be trapped in a relationship like this - bullied and berated into believing that it's all their fault - and suffering needlessly with mental/emotional issues.

[Joyce]

Here's another Facebook comment from Ken:

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Mental/emotional illness is not easy to understand or to know how to deal with it. It's impossible to know for sure how much emotional illness a person has is self-caused by their sin, and how much caused by hormonal imbalance and other factors. All one can do is what you have done to be faithful to God's calling on your life. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and having watched the drama, she has a choice, to go down the same path or choose to go against it. We will keep you in our prayers and I now the Lord will honor your faithfulness. Our prayers are always for full restoration of your family, and that the Lord may be glorified even through your pain.

At least, Ken recognizes the hormonal/chemical/biological aspect of mental illness.

[EowynW]

I wish Lori would actually do some research instead of just reading commentaries by old dead white guys who didn't care for women. 

 

http://newlife.id.au/workers-at-home-or-keepers-at-home-in-titus-25/

 

http://newlife.id.au/busy-at-home-how-does-titus-24-5-apply-today/

[December]

Re the image posted by @BlackSheep, gotta love that lack of historical context. It's not like 1960s hippies and feminists were the first groups to make teenagers act out against societal norms. For instance, 1920s flappers? 

Also, if the only content that people search out on their gadgets is "filth," they really need to explore more of the internet. There's a difference between content and the medium it's available in. 

[BlackSheep]

1 hour ago, December said:

Re the image posted by @BlackSheep, gotta love that lack of historical context. It's not like 1960s hippies and feminists were the first groups to make teenagers act out against societal norms. For instance, 1920s flappers? 

Also, if the only content that people search out on their gadgets is "filth," they really need to explore more of the internet. There's a difference between content and the medium it's available in. 

And if Grease taught us anything, teens had cars in the 50s. Some were hoodlums too. Oh dear!

[EowynW]

Hahaha Cassi's wedding dress isn't "modest" at all. And her engaging session dresses are way too short according to Lori's standards.  The Godly Mentor needs to shut up about modesty since none of her kids are modest. 

[Koala]

Spoiler

I actually think today's post may have been directed at Alyssa.  She posted on her public Instagram that she is studying for mid-terms, so maybe she's gone back to college?

I think Lori is really miffed that Alyssa won't follow her "prescription" for being a godly woman.  After that glowing birthday letter about Steven a couple of weeks back, Lori didn't even comment on Alyssa's birthday post where she talked about the struggles she's overcome. (It's no surprise that Lori did a  a couple of videos about food/eating disorders the following week).

I have come to realize that a good majority of Godly Lori's posts are directed at her own family.  When they do something she doesn't like, she immediately responds with a post or two, a notebook doodle, and a "Youtube" for good measure.

From Lori's post:

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Sadly, even “Christian” women question God

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No, God wouldn’t want me to give up my dreams and career to be a homemaker instead. 

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 No, God doesn’t really care if I wear a bikini or dress immodestly.” 

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 Denny taught that a woman who has a career is a fish out of water. She’s not where she’s supposed to be. Therefore, women are getting many more diseases, anxiety, and pain than ever before because they are away from where God wants them to be in their home and with their family. Women are to be home. This is their water. This is what is best for them. They are to be busy at home, not running here and there or having a career.

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Most women would rather have careers, make a name for themselves, shop, eat out, waste money, go to Bible Studies, and do everything but be keepers at home

Spoiler

It's so obvious what Lori's doing.  It infuriates her that her daughter is out there living life to the fullest.  She has a career, friends, and from the looks of it, a really happy life.  All of the things Lori never had/was too mean and lazy to have.  

 

[dairyfreelife]

Also, my grandparents were able to buy a nice little house in a nice safe neighborhood in their early 20s in the 1950s. Tell me a single 21-22 year old today who could do so? It's not even about having the money. To get a loan, for example, you would need to put a minimum of 3% down as it's very rare now to do a no-money down loan. If you can't put at least 20% down, you have to pay for MI (mortgage insurance). In Lori's neck of the woods (San Diego area) I found a little house with 3 bedrooms, 1 bath and around 800 square feet-it's a stated fixer-upper built back in 1944. The local schools seem to be meh, you are near a highway and shopping center, so probably quite noisy. It is priced currently for $336K. 3% down is a little over 10K and 20% would be around $65K, which is a huge amount of money for most people. Say you manage to put 10% down, which would be close to $37K. A monthly mortgage for that would be close to 2K. This does not even begin to count other expenses like paying PMI and escrows. Not 100% accurate to the number, but you can guess the cost of HI (homeowners insurance) by taking the home value, dividing it by 1000 and then multiplying that result by $3.50. So this home, i.e would get the average cost by taking the 336K and dividing it by 1000 so 336. Take 336 time $3.50 and you get 1176. If you take that number and divide it by 12 months=about $100/month for the escrows. However, other insurances may be required for certain policies for certain locations. Most HI covers fire and wind damage, but anyone in a flood zone is also required to have flood insurance, which is NOT covered in HI. 

The tax rate for San Diego County is .78%. For the above property it would be just over 2600 for property taxes on the home. Divided by 12 would be close to 220 a month. So $2K for a monthly mortgage, 320 a month for the escrows plus another about 100 for PMI means paying close to 2500 a month. FYI your DTI (debt to income ratio) should not exceed 36%. Also, you must factor in closing costs or cash reserves often required for home buying-which are usually several thousand $ alone. If I assume said person buying this home has no other debts at all, no car payments or credit card debt or anything else they are paying monthly excluding prior rent or renters insurance, then they'd have to be be making at least $66K for the DTI to be allowed for the loan. If I put a debt of say $350 imagining they have car insurance and maybe a small car loan for a used car or something, then they would need to be making $75K or more. Don't forget that this house is a "cheap" house in Lori's area that needs fixing up, so even more money put into it. Could use some paint in places and doors inside for the rooms would be nice since it has none, that type of fixing up and maybe other unmentioned stuff (could have water damage/foundation problems/bad roof, etc). It's not likely in a good neighborhood either (doors have bars with special locks-not usually an indication of a great safe area) and the schools are not highly rated (4-5 out of 10). On the plus side, you get a great downhill view of a parking lot. 

So, yeah, the whole idea of no debt and buying a house outright or that people can live fine on $10/hour and could afford a home if they tried and young people are just bad at saving and that's why millennials aren't able to buy homes-just what planet are these people living on? Because it's not this one for sure. Many millennials aren't buying homes because houses are too expensive, it's insane trying to qualify for a mortgage, and they can't meet the DTIs required because coming out of school making 30K doesn't allow you to buy much house and in her area, not going to happen. Also, Lori and Ken are really ones to talk about buying stuff for their children considering all the stuff her parents gave them and they have clearly done to help their own children. Their two kids near them have deeds of trust with Lori and Ken. Son Ryan works in Ken's business. They admitted to helping Cassi and her husband financially. I guarantee they helped Steven get his dentist partnership and Alyssa's husband once worked for Ken's business as well. So, give us a huge break already or put your money where your mouth is Lori. They gave more to their children financially than most parents ever have or could. Maybe they didn't have a lot of "toys", but they had plenty of money help in other ways. (I'm not sure I believe that her children had very few toys anyway). 

[lilwriter85]

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Most women would rather have careers, make a name for themselves, shop, eat out, waste money, go to Bible Studies, and do everything but be keepers at home

 

 

 

 

Isn't Lori making a name for herself? The bitch has a few fucking public blogs which she considers "ministries". She keeps saying that her goal is teach younger women and let's not forget that she had a post that went viral and she bragged about it.  She self published a book and put it on Amazon.

Many working women just go out and do their jobs and nobody outside of their workplaces, friends, and families knows about them. Lori is her in McMansion posting various blog postings aimed at strangers and she has a chat room where she is chatting with some people that she has never met in person and probably will never meet. 

[EowynW]

Yes it's hard. Even my inlaws don't understand that it's a different world now than it was 20 years ago! My father inlaw literally thought that Mr. EW could work for 9.50 and we'd make it fine! Mr. EW makes $16 an hour at a job with benefits. This is one of the highest paying jobs in our area. I make $10 an hour part time. We hope to move as soon as Mr. EW puts the time in gaining experience in his field in order to qualify for something better. 

My MIL is constantly making snide remarks about how much money we make, saying that we have plenty and are doing extremely well and we need to go buy a house now so we can have grandkids blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong, we are doing fine. We've never taken a cent of "help money" from our folks. No debt, paying all bills and meeting all needs with a bit to spare ever month, but still not enough to try to buy in the near future. Many of the older generation just don't understand. And it gets super frustrating. 

[BlackSheep]

Oh yay, a quiz!

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Questions you must ask yourself: “Is my home generally clean, tidy, and organised?

Yes

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Is my family being fed nourishing meals?

Yes. Mr. BlackSheep and I both enjoy cooking. I'm a vegetarian and he's an omnivore, but that never gets in the way of creative cooking.

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Are their clothes cleaned and put away?

Yes. Mr. BlackSheep and I each do our own laundry. We each lived on our own before marrying, so we are used to doing our own. I do the sheets and towels because I like folding them just like my mom taught me. Life can be so crazy and unpredictable... folding sheets and towels is orderly and satisfying.

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Am I spending plenty of time teaching, training, and disciplining my children?

We don't have kids.

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Am I doing what my husband wants me to do for him?

Yes. He wants a loving, happy wife. He wants me to be a partner in all things. He wants each of us to follow our dreams. I want the same things for/from him.

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Am I looking well to the ways of my household?”

Yes

 

[BlackSheep]

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Therefore, women are getting many more diseases, anxiety, and pain than ever before because they are away from where God wants them to be in their home and with their family. 

What a shame that there isn't a godly blogger who can show these women compassion during their darkest moments!

A blogger who will encourage these women to seek out counselors and health care professionals who have dedicated themselves to the care of the bodies and minds that God has given us!

A blogger who won't delete the comments of those who are trying to help!

A blogger who values the life, safety, and wellbeing of each and every one of her readers and commenters!