Lori Alexander 18: Taking Pictures in the Closet

[feministxtian]

21 minutes ago, desertvixen said:

If I was living in Vegas, I'd be in my flip-flops or other sandals 9 months a year as well!  (And men just do not get it - my partner is all "what if you need to run?" Then I'll run in my flip-flops (nice adidas ones with a little cushion) or in my bare feet!

I don't run. EVER. Although, today, I wore this really cute pair of brown suede flats (like moccasins) I got at Saver's for like 10 bucks. Real leather and brand new...very comfy too. Most of my sandals are essentially just covers for the bottom of my feet when it's hot. 

[BlackSheep]

26 minutes ago, desertvixen said:

If I was living in Vegas, I'd be in my flip-flops or other sandals 9 months a year as well!  (And men just do not get it - my partner is all "what if you need to run?" Then I'll run in my flip-flops (nice adidas ones with a little cushion) or in my bare feet!

Sandals are my go-to footwear. Unless I'm at work or hiking, or it's snowy and freezing cold, I'm in sandals. 

[Seahorse Wrangler]

I met Sea Filly 1's new beau today. He has shoulder length hair and people have been telling him to cut it in order to impress me.

 

When he texted SF1 about it, she asked me and I was  "It's his hair, he can wear it how he likes!"

 

As long as he's kind and does all the correct things by her, hair is going to be one of my least concerns.

 

 

[louisa05]

Lori today: 

Quote

Therefore, after arguing constantly with my husband for 23 years and wanting to control him, for the past ten years I have learned that I was sinning against my husband and my Lord. I have been mentoring women for the past ten years and I now encourage them to stop trying to control what their husband watches, what he eats, what he wears, what he does with his free time, where he goes, etc. We are their wife, not their mother.

You know what, she is right. No woman should try to control her husband like this. I don't do any of this. I never have. It never occurred to me to do this. I do know women who do this stuff. And they aren't happily married or coupled (as the case may be). 

The problem is that, guess what, Lori, they are our husbands, not our fathers. And they should not control what we watch or eat or wear or what we do with our free time or where we go, either. How is that so hard for her to see? 

[BlackSheep]

@louisa05, I agree with all that you say. Well said. 

And like you, I don't control my husband. He doesn't control me. We work together. We ask each other for advice and input. We both appreciate time together and time alone. 

[EowynW]

Earl should get a divorce. If you are hoping death gets you out of the marriage then it's dead already. 

[lawfulevil]

57 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Earl should get a divorce. If you are hoping death gets you out of the marriage then it's dead already. 

No fucking joke. Lorken-Cult logic at its best:

"Well, God is very against us filing some papers and moving on with our lives, but he's okay with me hating you and constantly praying for your death."

Marrying someone you actually like and staying together because you love one another and your lives are better together? Blasphemy!

Marrying some random man you think will be a good provider, becoming a doormat because he hates your actual personality, growing to truly and completely loathe one another, and praying for their premature death so you can actually live in a way that makes you happy? Godly!

[Fascinated]

3 hours ago, louisa05 said:

 

The problem is that, guess what, Lori, they are our husbands, not our fathers. And they should not control what we watch or eat or wear or what we do with our free time or where we go, either. How is that so hard for her to see? 

You nailed it again, @louisa05! This would never occur to Lori and yet it should be so obvious to any rational thinking person.  

[SilverBeach]

On 5/5/2017 at 11:59 AM, louisa05 said:

 

And I prefer sandals or flip flops for about six mths a year. I literally own no "in between" shoes besides sneakers. It's boots or sandals.

 

I own in between shoes (loafers, etc.) but rarely wear them. Count me in the club, the less foot covering the better. I wear open toes until there is snow on the ground.

Me and Mr. SB have our home improvement dates at Menards.

[louisa05]

6 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

I own in between shoes (loafers, etc.) but rarely wear them. Count me in the club, the less foot covering the better. I wear open toes until there is snow on the ground.

Me and Mr. SB have our home improvement dates at Menards.

Loafers and ballet flats and such tend to slip on my heels and give me blisters. That is one reason I don't own or wear any. I would like to find some that don't, but no luck. I have narrow heels but my feet are not narrow enough for narrow width shoes. It is a problem.  

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I think it's entirely possible/ probable that Earl's wife would also welcome him having a massive heart attack "that took him home to the Lord".

SMH that it has never occurred to Earl that some/ part/ all? of his unhappy marriage might be on him.

And isn't Earl a speshul snowflake to assume  that, of course, he'll spend eternity with the Lord.

[polecat]

Once again, I have to wonder if Earl is aware that everything he writes on Lori's page is broadcast to everyone on his friends' list. I'd be devastated if I found out my husband would rather be dead than spend one more minute with me. Although now that old Meatloaf song is in my head: Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. Thanks, Earl.

Get a divorce, you horny dumbass. She deserves better.

[EmiGirl]

Everyone I think of that lose I think of the Dixie Chick's "Goodbye Earl." That's probably what would happen if he was my husband. 

[usmcmom]

It appears that Lori has deleted several comments on Facebook. I wish I had grabbed a screenshot of all of them. Somebody responded to this one with "Nobody deserves to be hit by their partner, no matter what." Lori followed with "Nobody here is condoning abuse," (paraphrased.). 

I think this commenter was definitely condoning abuse. Thoughts? 

[Koala]

Lori replied to that, and it wasn't to explain to him that women who are hit by their husbands aren't "getting what they deserve".  She loves  men like Stephen, who openly explain why abuse isn't abuse, and it's really the woman's fault anyway (or "anyways" as Lori would say).

I am betting Ken caught wind of it and made her take it down (probably hoping no one had time to take a screen shot).  

They both make me sick.

[Emilycharlotte]

6 minutes ago, Koala said:

They both make me sick.

Agreed.

I must have some deep-seated masochistic streak, though, because I keep reading. 

[foreign fundie]

1 hour ago, usmcmom said:

It appears that Lori has deleted several comments on Facebook. I wish I had grabbed a screenshot of all of them. Somebody responded to this one with "Nobody deserves to be hit by their partner, no matter what." Lori followed with "Nobody here is condoning abuse," (paraphrased.). 

I think this commenter was definitely condoning abuse. Thoughts? 

Abigail's heroism is a great story for women with bad husbands. Abigail went round her husbands back to do what he wouldn't do (very unsubmussive), arranging a delivery of food for David and his band of warriors. She made the delivery herself so that she could personally plead for mercy for her husband's insults. She did not only take her own moral responsibility, but even her husbands, saving his life and that of her whole household.  She publicly called her husband a fool to future king David. Here is the story:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+25

I honestly do not know how you can read into this story that Abigail was a passive woman waiting for God to sort out her husband. And she definitely "maintained a self contrary to him".

[usmcmom]

Slight Conversational detour ahead.

On Lori's YouTube channel she has a video entitled "My Quiet Time With Jesus" (I think - it's about five entries down).  Anyway, she continually refers to the last book of the Bible as RevelationS!!  

I simply do not have time to keep gently reminding these people that it is REVELATION. SINGULAR!  ONE!  THE REVELATION TO JOHN!!  How can a person have a scriptural retort for every comment on her blog but not know this??  I have a bizarre urge to strike her with a leather strap every time she does this.  

Also, in the comments, somebody compliments her Bibile (???) and Lori points out that she will be getting her mother's one day. How cold can a person be??!?  Is it just me; or is that something that could have been left out of the conversation??   

[onemama]

On 6.5.2017 at 4:27 PM, louisa05 said:

stop trying to control what their husband watches, what he eats, what he wears, what he does with his free time, where he goes, etc. We are their wife, not their mother.

I agree with this, but if a woman felt she had to control her husband because she had reasons to suspect (or she knew) he was getting up to no good, I'd tell her she's still not his mother, not even whe he wants her to clean up his mess, pay his unpaid fines, bail him out of jail, or whatever.  

 

On 6.5.2017 at 4:27 PM, louisa05 said:

. I do know women who do this stuff. And they aren't happily married or coupled (as the case may be). 

As I mentioned above, some women do this stuff because their husbands are irresponsible and get up to no good.  If a wife is controlling her husband, my first question would be, why? 

On 6.5.2017 at 4:27 PM, louisa05 said:

The problem is that, guess what, Lori, they are our husbands, not our fathers. And they should not control what we watch or eat or wear or what we do with our free time or where we go, either. How is that so hard for her to see?

Headship, of course! The hubby is the supreme authority, his word belongs in the Bible (one of her followers said that in a comment). Not so the wife. She's the submissive, the follower, the easily deceived, weak, yet somehow not so weak.... Whatever.  

I agre with you, Louisa.  Lori has never heard of the concept of mutuality. 

[louisa05]

20 minutes ago, onemama said:

 

 

As I mentioned above, some women do this stuff because their husbands are irresponsible and get up to no good.  If a wife is controlling her husband, my first question would be, why? 

 

Most of the ones I know do it because they think that it is their job to pick out  the husband's clothes, schedule his life, tell him what he can and cannot eat, etc...they truly do treat them like they are children and seem to think that is normal and expected. There was a meme going around social media awhile back that said something like "your husband will always be your biggest and neediest child". I found it disturbing, to be honest. My husband is a grown man, not a child. If your husband is a needy child, perhaps he was not marriage material until he matured. 

 

[usmcmom]

Well I wish I'd grabbed a screen wchot but Lori deleted a Facebook comment on her latest post. It was something like "It took you all this time? Wow..." I was a little surprised she deleted it because she really does not shy away from talking about her "rebellious" years.  I will give credit to Lori for admitting her own faults in their early marriage.  Ken cannot seem to think of one thing he did wrong all those years. 

[EowynW]

She wouldn't even post a Sunday post. Just reshared yesterday's post 

[onemama]

9 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Most of the ones I know do it because they think that it is their job to pick out  the husband's clothes, schedule his life, tell him what he can and cannot eat, etc...they truly do treat them like they are children and seem to think that is normal and expected. There was a meme going around social media awhile back that said something like "your husband will always be your biggest and neediest child". I found it disturbing, to be honest. My husband is a grown man, not a child. If your husband is a needy child, perhaps he was not marriage material until he matured. 

 

Oh, I completely agree with you, but that's not the kind of controlling I'm referring to, altough I'd still want to know who taught those women to mother their husbands like that.  I'm talking about the wife who feels the need to control her husband's whereabouts, check his jacket pockets, his phone; basically, whatever she can get hold of that will tell her what her husband is up to. My question to that wife would be: "why do you feel the need to do that?" Chances are she can't trust him, which means he's given her reason not to trust him, or she has some serious trust issues.  It's going to take more than sheer willpower to stop that need to control him. I'm not saying this control is good, but it's justified and the woman living like that deserves compassion and proper help.

Telling a woman in those circumstances to just "snap out of it" or that she shouldn't have married him in the first place is unhelpful.  How many starry-eyed 20-somethings (assuming they married fairly early, as is custom in conservative circles) are paying close enough attention to the things their future spouse does that may mean trouble in the future?  What if the habits that cause her to worry began after they got married?

I listened to a podcast by Leslie Vernick, a Christian counselor who specialises in troubled and abusive marriages, where  she explains all these things very well and teaches women the real meaning of living out that infamous 1st Peter 3 passage that Lori likes so much. I wish I could share the video, but she keeps her videos unlisted on youtube and only shares them with subscribers. She reaches out to the hurting and offers real advice, and I guess she doesn't want people like Dave and Trey posting their poisonous comments on her videos where she counsels women directly.  She's nothing like Lori, although she's pretty conservative and very pro-marriage.  http://www.leslievernick.com/

 

[smittykins]

It's like those FB posts that say "Would you show your "bae"(I HATE that)your texts?"  Ummm, no.

[EowynW]

Sometimes I wonder if conservative Christian teachings don't already set women up to not trust their husbands from the start. I mean, for example, all you hear is how visual and sex driven guys are and how just going to the grocery store in summer is a struggle and how every man battles porn use, etc and no wonder that a woman could start to feel slightly paranoid about wanting to  see what could be on her husband's phone. I remember being so shocked when my husband told me he didn't think about sex all or even most of the time because it was so contrary to the teachings I'd had growing up