Lori Alexander 18: Taking Pictures in the Closet

[EowynW]

10 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Melissa:

Lori:

Then another reader posts a link and Melissa responds:

Yup, take that Lori. Another reader actually provides something helpful, not the godly mentor and her canned responses. 

I can't find that conversation. 

[onemama]

31 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I can't find that conversation. 

Date Night doodle (facebook), somewhere in the thread started by this comment " I think the mentality behind prioritizing date nights....." 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Yes on the date night post and this was just added:

Melissa:

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I do believe I can concern myself with this boundary. When a woman has been emotionally abused by a "Christian" husband just telling her to continue being a servant is not right. I was a faithful, obedient, servant for more than 20 years to a husband that took it to an extreme. I believe what I learned from that experience was that boundaries are necessary, healthy, and acceptable. I want to be who God expects me to be, but if I am so downtrodden that I have no voice, I am not being the woman God desires.

Lori:

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I can't believe you can improve upon God's prescription for you in 1 Peter 3:1-6!

 

[Bad Wolf]

Why oh why did I fall down this rabbit hole? And I thought the Duggars were crazy. 

[kpmom]

2 hours ago, Hisey said:

I'm guessing Lori and Ken do not have date nights. Wow, could this marriage get any worse?

It's so obvious they don't like spending time with each other. 

Geez, even their sex life is over in  just a few minutes (ewwww, that I even know that).

My marriage did improve with date nights.  We were ships passing in the night until we made a point of getting out 1-2 times per month.

We have found we laugh more and enjoy each other's company more now that we get out and relax.  Plus we have fun planning what we'll do.

What's so bad about that?

[Koala]

It might interest Melissa to know that Lori doesn't "believe" in boundaries. 
 

From the 2014 post "Is Setting Boundaries On Others Biblical?"

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You see, the problem I have with the word boundary and doormat is that neither of these words are in the Bible. 

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What about being called to be a "living sacrifice?" What about denying ourselves and giving ourselves to others? What about generosity and a servant being called the greatest of all? All these just don't seem to fit in with the so called"boundaries" people are setting up for others in their lives or the fear of being a doormat.

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Setting boundaries for others seems like psycho babble to me and not biblical at all. All this stuff about not being a doormat seems the same. If we insist on setting boundaries for others and not being a doormat, we will ALWAYS be unhappy when we are inconvenienced, interrupted, or asked to do things we don't feel like doing.

In 2013 she wrote:

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Where in Scripture does it say to not be a doormat?

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We are so selfish, always protecting ourselves and our rights instead of becoming like Jesus, sacrificing our lives for others, and yes, even becoming a doormat for others. 

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 If He was a doormat for us, the least we can do is to be a happy, privileged doormat for our family.

That post can be found here: http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/12/priveleged-to-be-doormat.html

Of course that's not the way Lori actually lives her life.  She sets lots of boundaries for others (she devotes a good portion of her day to preventing others from posting opinions that differ from her own), so the idea that she is a "doormat" for anyone is absolutely laughable.  I think she just gets a kick out of trying to get other women to be doormats with no boundaries.

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Someone needs to post that to Melissa on facebook. 

[usmcmom]

Hey Ken and Lori; you know what is likely to happen after date night?  Sex; that's what.  Each spouse has spent a few hours focusing on the other and on their relationship. This often makes the wife feel relaxed and more loved. When a woman feels loved like that, sometimes she finds herself wanting to have sex with her husband because she has just had some uninterrupted quality time with him. It is spontaneous and romantic, not expected and timed. 

The husband sees a woman who is laughing and relaxed, likely receptive to his advances. He is reminded why he loves her (and it is not just for the sex). These things can all add up to a mutually satisfying night in the bedroom - an encounter that may last an hour or more!!  

(No wonder Lori hates date night.)

P.S. You two argued on date nights. That is NOT NORMAL. You cannot assume all couples argue on date night. Most of us like our spouses. 

[crawfishgirl]

Lori's opinion regarding other people not setting boundaries really makes me shudder.  My mother was just like that - she constantly told me to just serve others and not worry about how I was treated.  Such a "do as I say, not as I do" attitude.  Lori is truly vile to teach women that they don't have enough worth to be able to set boundaries and take care of themselves.

[KDA]

I've been away working (because I'm a heathen who works to help support her family) and I've missed this place. I haven't caught up on all the comments yet, but the ones I've read have made me laugh

This place is good for my soul. It's taken a long time to bring myself back from the brink of suicide after abuse in my marriage and Lori condoning it, and this place helps so much

 

[BlackSheep]

1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

Why oh why did I fall down this rabbit hole? And I thought the Duggars were crazy. 

Lori is her own brand of crazy. Welcome to the party.

[Koala]

In the last four days she has posted 2 pictures of meals she ate at restaurants.   

*sigh* It seems like just last week she was complaining about people eating out too much.  Maybe that's because it was literally only 7 days ago. 
 

7 days ago:

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We don’t need an expensive college education, the latest fashions, expensive haircuts and manicures, spa days, elaborate vacations, new cars, perfectly decorated homes, eating out often (Americans now spend more money on dining out than groceries)

4 days ago 

Today:

She didn't post a picture, but she says they eat out on Saturdays as well:

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Every Saturday, Ken and I walk along the beach and then eat at our favorite breakfast place with my parents. 

That's a lot of eating out for someone who bemoans how often Americans eat out.

[BlackSheep]

Lori:

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The Bible says nothing about having date nights but it does have a lot to say about wives being help meets, submissive, loving, and pleasing their husbands.

The Bible also says nothing about using blogs, Instagram, Facebook and non-Biblical books (all of which Lori produces) for marriage advice.

[BlackSheep]

Lori:

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[Date nights] failed to get rid of my rebellious spirit and unsubmissive attitude.

Thinking that date nights will fix deep-rooted problems is like taking an aspirin to fix a broken leg.

[EmiGirl]

Now whenever I picture serEna joy in The Handmaid's Tale I automatically think of Lori. I really think that she would adore living in Gilead. Of course that assumes that she was a Wife and not an Econowife  or a Martha. But Ken is definitely the kind of person I think of in the role of one of the husband's (I refise to call him a commander).

[EowynW]

9 minutes ago, EmiGirl said:

Now whenever I picture serEna joy in The Handmaid's Tale I automatically think of Lori. I really think that she would adore living in Gilead. Of course that assumes that she was a Wife and not an Econowife  or a Martha. But Ken is definitely the kind of person I think of in the role of one of the husband's (I refise to call him a commander).

I hope the tv adaptation comes to Netflix soon. 

Lori deletes comments of men she doesn't agree with too. I've tried a few different names for fun in the past and even the guy comments only get by if they agree with her. She only likes disgusting men. 

 

Ken replied to Jeff. 

[Koala]

It looks like Dave is out, and Trey is in.  Lori just posted a link to her book.  Above the link she copied the following:

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"For a Christian woman who wants to better understand what God's design for marriage is, this book is an excellent resource. Lori speaks the plain truth of God's word. For all of you women out there with less than wonderful marriages, consider what you have been doing..... how has that been working out for you? Remember the definition of insanity... trying the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. If you are tired of trying it your way and having less than than desirable results, then why not try it God's way and see what happens. God's way is what Lori teaches in her book.

Women, is your marriage in shambles? Chances are high that it's your fault for not doing it God's way. He designed marriage and He tells you plainly how it is to be done in His word. Sure, it's easier to just blame everything on your husband but if you are not obeying Gods word, it matters little what your husband does. Until you obey God, He will not bless your marriage. Women, you hold the keys to your marriage. All you have to do is get past your pride and give God's way a try. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain.

Thank you so much, Lori, for obeying God's command in Titus 2 and teaching the younger women how to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. I consider you blessed of the women that are on this earth and may your rewards in heaven be great!" (Trey)

Seriously?  I am just...speechless.  

How is any of this appropriate?

[Imrlgoddess]

Cardiff by the Sea huh? Yeah. Had a friend who lived there when I was stationed at Camp Pendleton. It's not a cheap place to live or visit. Beautiful, for sure. But even on a military, 2 income household, we didn't hang out there unless we were going to our friends house for BBQ. I'm not sure how I feel about someone spending $12 on a salad.... (I totally Googled it).

#socalprincess #bigsalads #10mins&loob 

[HoneyBunny]

We've got some dissension in the ranks.!  How long will it last?  Maybe Lori is eating her big salad right now and won't be able to immediately hit the delete button. 

 

Kathi Bonham Lori, you always talk about being against abuse in marriage and encouraging women to call for help if they are being abused. Now you're saying that all a woman needs to do is follow "God's prescription." God does not call wives to submit to abusive husbands. Either you stand against abuse or you don't...you need to be much clearer in your arguments and you should always support the victim, not drag her down.

3 · 14 mins

Nancy Ovchinnikov Amen, Kathi!

10 mins

[BlackSheep]

Lori's blog post about women being silent in church:

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11 “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.” We are commanded to learn in silence while being in subjection to the leadership of the church.

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12 “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” In case women didn’t understand verse 11, Paul repeats himself. “Women are to be in silence.” They are not to teach, nor to be in authority over men. They are to be silent as in not speaking in the church. Yes, this is hard for women but it is what we are called to do and respect the role the Lord has given to us.

One of her FB comments about her post:

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But, of course, the decision is up to the elders in each church how they want to run their church.

For women, It's a commandment.

For men, it's a rule that they can change if they want to.

[Loveday]

From Ken's reply to Jeff:

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They say that up to 10% of Americans have some form of Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality disorder. Then you have many others who bump up against this spectrum of just being self-centered and selfish, spending their time and focus on the things they want to do, but expecting to be cared for by others.

Ken, you just described your wife!  

Well, you do live with her, so you would know. 

[onemama]

9 hours ago, Koala said:

What about being called to be a "living sacrifice?" What about denying ourselves and giving ourselves to others?

When have you ever denied yourself, Lori?  Can you show us the sacrifices you are making for others?

9 hours ago, Koala said:

Setting boundaries for others seems like psycho babble to me and not biblical at all.

I'm assuming you live in a house. That's a boundary around you to keep you safe. You talk about a garden you like to sit in or lie in to enjoy the sun. I'm assuming that garden has a fence, which also constitutes a boundary. 

9 hours ago, Koala said:

We are so selfish, always protecting ourselves and our rights instead of becoming like Jesus, sacrificing our lives for others, and yes, even becoming a doormat for others. 

Do you allow everyone into your home, regardless of the time of day or night, or do you ask them to respect your sleep and your schedule?  Do you allow anyone and everyone into your home? How about a homeless person who needs a shower and a meal?  How about a family who just lost their home to a fire? Are you out there inviting them into your home, allowing them to inconvenience you, so they can be safe?  

5 hours ago, BlackSheep said:

But, of course, the decision is up to the elders in each church how they want to run their church.

Has Lori replied to this?  She's got way too much going on on her blog and on facebook. It's overwhelming!  Just skimming through the comments I saw a lot of ignorance being thrown around and nobody steps in to say, wait a minute, that's not true!

That little bit in bold explains a lot of what is wrong in our church today. We think it's our church, to be run the way we want it run, but it's not. It may be our club, with our rules -like that sign that said that only modestly dressed people may attend-, but The Church belongs to Christ. He said that He would build His church, and His rules are going largely unfollowed these days.  I don't see many people in the Loriken camp getting up in arms about the lack of love for the broken, lack of compassion for the hurting, lack of sacrifice for the needy. I don't see them giving up their luxuries to really help the hungry and needy.  They are happy to go on a long holiday, buy expensive stuff, eat out, spend a lot of money on making their lives as nice and comfortable as possible, while there are believers in their very state, probably their very city, struggling to make ends meet.  They don't believe they are called to lay down their comforts for someone else's need. 

When Lori starts sacrificing her comforts for a needy person's needs, I might start paying some attention to her -other than to call her out on her hypocrisy-. Let the cymbal clanging continue. 

@Koala, thanks for unearthing that post and sharing those quotes. 

[Granwych]

On ‎5‎/‎1‎/‎2017 at 9:40 PM, EowynW said:

My Mom divided every job into pink and blue. I wasn't allowed to help mow, learn car maintenance or annthing like that because it's a  "man's job." 

Since I grew up with three sisters, we all pretty much did everything from changing tires to chopping/hauling wood to shoveling snow.  No way would my parents let us loaf in front of the TV while they busted their asses doing chores.

[foreign fundie]

Now, just to counter the crazy of Lori, this BBC link.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-39780214

This woman has chosen to disobey and even leave her husband to safe lives of intersex babies. And wait for it, she does it because she believes God created these children, loves them and has asked her to sacrifice her cushy life to take care of them. 

None of this can fit anywhere in Lori's thinking about man/ womanhood or submission, but it is a testimony of faith and courage that cannot be blogged away.

[BlackSheep]

 

3 hours ago, onemama said:

Has Lori replied to this?  She's got way too much going on on her blog and on facebook. It's overwhelming!  Just skimming through the comments I saw a lot of ignorance being thrown around and nobody steps in to say, wait a minute, that's not true!

I wasn't clear in my post. That comment was made by Lori: