Lori Alexander 18: Taking Pictures in the Closet

[EowynW]

Lori's post today made me lose it. She sounded exactly like my mom. 

 

"If he wants to do it let him. Don't say a word." 

 

 

[TeddyBonkers]

Someone please help me understand the way this works, because I am at a loss.

Woman sends her children to public school, works outside of the home, vaccinates her kids (also, WTF???): ungodly, sinning, harlot, etc.

Man sends his kids to public school, wants his wife to work outside of the home, vaccinates his kids: not a big deal, but you should try to change his mind without a word. At least he isn't asking you for anal sex or to rob a bank with him.

 

[Joyce]

Lori's comment on Facebook before she deletes it:

 

"I am 58 years old with zero hormones except the ones needed to survive yet I choose to have sex with my husband every other day because he loves it. Marriage is about self-denial and serving our husbands. As she deprives her husband, she is sinning against God and her husband. We don't do things based upon our feelings but based upon what is right."

 

I first thought that Lori submits so that she can tell others that she submits to her husband. But maybe she loves him... a little?

[BlackSheep]

Once again, Lori's blog makes me thankful for my husband, my life, and my faith. She is entitled to her own beliefs, but I'm glad that they aren't mine.

[EowynW]

So on Facebook Ken makes a comment to earl along the lines of "I wish there was a promise to husbands that they could love and win their wives" blah blah blah. Which is weird to me bdcatse a) hat verse to wives isn't a promise and b ) I have read quite a few stories where the husband's really dug in, started putting their wives first and loving & serving them unselfishly (to hell with leading *eye roll*) and ended up saving their marriages. 

I really wish Ken would tell us all how the hell a husband is supppsed to "lead". I never see him give any examples. 

[Koala]

My first thought is that for a self professed "godly, modest, older woman", she reveals way too much of her private life online.  The internet should not know how often she has sex with her husband.  Does she have no discretion at all?

[EowynW]

1 minute ago, BlackSheep said:

Once again, Lori's blog makes me thankful for my husband, my life, and my faith. She is entitled to her own beliefs, but I'm glad that they aren't mine.

"Good for her. Not for me." - Amy Poehler 

 

Though I'm reluctant to even say "good for her" and Lori in the same sentence. 

[onemama]

33 minutes ago, Joyce said:

Lori's comment on Facebook before she deletes it:

 

"I am 58 years old with zero hormones except the ones needed to survive yet I choose to have sex with my husband every other day because he loves it. Marriage is about self-denial and serving our husbands. As she deprives her husband, she is sinning against God and her husband. We don't do things based upon our feelings but based upon what is right."

 

I first thought that Lori submits so that she can tell others that she submits to her husband. But maybe she loves him... a little?

Cynical me thinks this transcribes to "I choose to have sex with my husband because he threatened divorce/separation if I didn't start to pay attention to his needs. I need him to support me financially. I don't have a retirement without him and I need medical care.  Sex takes 5-10 minutes a day. I guess I can do that in exchange for a roof over my head and financial security." 

But the next line just shows you how bitter she is about this arrangement.  She has chosen to "give sex", every other woman should do the same.  Her blog is her substitute for Ken. She doesn't berate or control him anymore, she "gives him" sex even though her hormones are dead and she has zero libido, so she berates every woman who dares not live by her laws.  

I know.... I'm not very nice. 

[EowynW]

Just now, Koala said:

My first thought is that for a self professed "godly, modest, older woman", she reveals way too much of her private life online.  The internet should not know how often she has sex with her husband.  Does she have no discretion at all?

That really is horrifying and it never sounds like she has fun in bed either. Maybe TMI but when I was a very new wife I, trying to be a good Christian wife, used to be all about "serving my husband in bed" but he hated that attitude and refused to make love if there wasn't time for me to enjoy it either. He says it's either both of us or we wait until it can be both of us. 

[onemama]

2 hours ago, EowynW said:

Sometimes I wonder if conservative Christian teachings don't already set women up to not trust their husbands from the start.

I think complementarian teachings set men and women up to not trust each other.  Their interpretation of Genesis 3:16 as a power struggle, Ephesians 5:21-end as a hierarchy that isn't supposed to be a hierarchy but is a hierarchy, the way they read "lead" instead of "love"... come on, both verbs begin with an "L", but "lead" is NOT IN THERE. 

The whole teaching has to be torn up and thrown out as it causes a lot more harm than good. 

[Koala]

28 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I really wish Ken would tell us all how the hell a husband is supppsed to "lead". I never see him give any examples. 

Ken tends to get more of a pass than Lori, but when we look back at some of his ideas for "leading", we find they are equally as horrifying as Lori's.  

Ken Alexander:

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I believe that many wives and husbands would respond well to a physical approach to dealing with such trying or out of control times. Allowing a husband leeway to decide how to deal with his wife is part of submission and vulnerability.

Ken Alexander:

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I once suggested that a husband should perhaps walk up to his difficult wife and grab her wrists while looking in her eyes and tell her "stop it. I am no longer putting up with your bad behavior," then walk away.

Ken Alexander:

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What if you quietly walked over to your wife who is seemingly out of control and you placed your hands on her arms and pinned her to the wall, or you gave her a bear hug for a moment where she could not move, and then you kissed her a few times then whispered in her ear, I love you, but this is totally unacceptable behavior. Please stop.

Ken Alexander:

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There is I believe built into many women, but not all, a desire, or seeming need, to have her man step into a situation where she is moody, or has a bad attitude and instead of another hour or two of talking, feel his strength

Ken Alexander:

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I think it vital that couples discuss what, if any physical response can or should be used when the relationship begins to deteriorate beyond what words and logic can heal. 

Comment Lori made to Sunshine Mary during the whole dishwasher debacle:

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My husband and I got a good laugh over it. He told me he would have given me 2 choices, a good spanking or no dishwasher. I told him I would take the spanking any day!

Lori Alexander:

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Men don't like to always use words to solve everything, whereas women do. Marriage conferences teach how couples should "fight fair;" remembering to take all these given steps, asking the right questions, listening carefully, keep talking until its resolved, etc. How come women have mostly gotten their way in resolving conflict and men have to accommodate them? {"Now, honey, you forgot this step and you aren't allowed to say that to me."} This is NOT how it should be in a Christian marriage!

Lori Alexander:

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We do live in a feminized society. Women want men to behave like women and"talk" everything out. One of the couples Ken and I mentored were on the brink of divorce. The wife would have major, uncontrollable tantrums. She admitted she "just couldn't control herself." Ken told the husband to wrap her up in a bear hug every time this happened.

Lori Alexander:

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Ken and I watched an old John Wayne Movie a few months ago. He was married to a very difficult wife. She was always nasty to him. Near the end of the movie, he took her over his knee and spanked her! She behaved herself after this and they were kissing and enjoying each other at the end of the movie. I guess this was a common occurrence in many of the old movies! {Can you imagine a movie like this today? No, instead we get perversity of every kind but if a man acted like John Wayne, he'd be put into prison.}

Most men don't like to just "talk it out" ad nauseam.

I think that's Ken's style of "leading" in a nutshell.  He just *usually* knows to put lipstick on the pig, whereas Lori trots it right out there, mud and all.

[EowynW]

There should be a special place in hell for people like them. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

EowynW, You hubby sounds like such a thoughtful, sweet man. I realize that "sweet" may not be the adjective most people use for a man, but but I think it fits in many situations.

I find that when a man is "sweet' it's not in a syrupy-y, sickly, possibly fake way but genuine.  Doing something for his spouse/ partner just because he knows she/he will like/ enjoy/ be surprised/ etc, etc. by it.

My father was a sweet man, so that was a quality I looked for in boyfriends.  I knew from the beginning when we were just friends Mr. Dress fit the bill.  He hasn't changed in all the years we've been married.  Even now I am sometimes moved to tears when he does something unexpected with the "I thought you might like it" comment.

Adding --  I now know that Lori lets Ken have 5 minutes and some lube, every other day, in the morning only. That adds up to 20 minutes in a 7-day week.  20 minutes.  That's it -- 20 minutes.  And he's supposedly OK with that.

Which leads me to believe that in the 23 years they fought constantly, except for the times she wanted to get pregnant (she had 4 children in about 7 years),  he got no sex at all,  So 20 minutes per week vs, no sex at all seems like a good deal. And with no hormones she has no desire, so she's just lying there, feeling nothing, looking at the ceiling. You can bet cash money that Ken know full well she feels nothing and is just a martyr to his lust

Medical background FJ-ers.  Is it even possible for Lori to have zero hormones as she says?

 

[EowynW]

7 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

EowynW, You hubby sounds like such a thoughtful, sweet man. I realize that "sweet" may not be the adjective most people use for a man, but but I think it fits in many situations.

I find that when a man is "sweet' it's not in a syrupy-y, sickly, possibly fake way but genuine.  Doing something for his spouse/ partner just because he knows she/he will like/ enjoy/ be surprised/ etc, etc. by it.

My father was a sweet man, so that was a quality I looked for in boyfriends.  I knew from the beginning when we were just friends Mr. Dress fit the bill.  He hasn't changed in all the years we've been married.  Even now I am sometimes moved to tears when he does something unexpected with the "I thought you might like it" comment.

Adding --  I now know that Lori lets Ken have 5 minutes and some lube, every other day, in the morning only. That adds up to 20 minutes in a 7-day week.  20 minutes.  That's it -- 20 minutes.  And he's supposedly OK with that.

Which leads me to believe that in the 23 years they fought constantly, except for the times she wanted to get pregnant (she had 4 children in about 7 years),  he got no sex at all,  So 20 minutes per week vs, no sex at all seems like a good deal. And with no hormones she has no desire, so she's just lying there, feeling nothing, looking at the ceiling. You can bet cash money that Ken know full well she feels nothing and is just a martyr to his lust

Medical background FJ-ers.  Is it even possible for Lori to have zero hormones as she says?

 

He really is sweet. He is gentle, thoughtful, laid back, always loving. My dad was a command man and I went as far from that as I could. I put off marrying until I was 29 because I refused to marry a Christian asshat.

I am recovering from  moderate adrenal fatigue and I have an excellent sex drive  I think Lori's problem starts in her head  

 

Guys someone on today's post is asking about a bc method they can sabatoge in order to get pregnant again it has to be a joke. 

[Loveday]

3 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Guys someone on today's post is asking about a bc method they can sabatoge in order to get pregnant again it has to be a joke. 

I just read that. It has to be a joke. But it seems to have gone right over Lori's head--she doesn't do subtle, as we all know. 

[onemama]

Today Lori says that Ephesians 5:24 is "The most hated verse in the Bible"

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The most hated verse by women in the Bible seems to be “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Ephesians 5:24). You can’t teach this verse today without a lot of exceptions and qualifiers or women get all up in arms about it because of the word “everything.”

She softens it, of course, and says it's only women's most hated verse, but.... 

Come on, Lori, how about that one that says "love your neighbor as you love yourself"?  How many people are actually out there practicing that?  Or "love your enemy, pray for those who persecute you...."?   You voted for Trump, Lori. Not exactly the enemy-loving, neighbor-loving, wife-honoring Christian man, now, eh?  Come to think of it, you show little love to your faithful female followers when they tell you that Trey, Jeff, Dave and other men's presence is distracting and -even- hurtful.  

That may be an unpopular verse you chose there, but you may be surprised by the many women who are fine with it, so long as it's taught within its intended context.  It doesn't exist in a vacuum. Women have every single right to oppose the way you teach it, out of context, with the support of your husband and your male friends. 

[SilverBeach]

3 hours ago, Koala said:

My first thought is that for a self professed "godly, modest, older woman", she reveals way too much of her private life online.  The internet should not know how often she has sex with her husband.  Does she have no discretion at all?

She is a hateful, hypocritical woman who makes me ragey. The sound of cognitive dissonance should have rendered her deaf by now. 

Lori knows nothing of love and never quotes the actual Jesus she allegedly follows. She is empty and hollow, and I hope anyone tempted to look to her for guidance decides otherwise. There are no words for how much I despise this decidedly ungodly person. 

[onemama]

3 hours ago, EowynW said:

I really wish Ken would tell us all how the hell a husband is supppsed to "lead"

This is Ken's reply on today's blog post

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He should have said “step up and be the spiritual one” in the home, not the leader. To lead spiritually is to lead from bottom up anyway, sacrificing oneself for the service and well being of others. There are many wives who are the more spiritual ones of their home, but they are, as you so well put it, to still allow their husbands to lead. And by their godly behavior won their husbands to the Lord and to spiritual leadership.

Confusing. But even more so because everything they teach points towards leader = boss, the one with the last word, authority.  But in this little comment, it almost sounds like Ken gets what that "leadership" is supposed to be about, and he acknowledges that  the wife is the one doing the leading, except that you can't call it that, because the wife is not supposed to lead, she's supposed to submit. Darnit. Except... well... let's go back to our trusted definition of leadership.

How is a wife supposed to follow her husband's "spiritual leadership" as her "head" if he's doing whatever he feels like doing?  In the end, it sounds like the wife has to adapt herself, not matter the cost, to whatever her husband wants to do.  If husband chooses vaccination, wife has to go out of her way to find out what all can be done to protect her children from its effects. If husband takes them to the Golden Arches, wife has to see to it that she cooks as many meals as possible from scrach so the kids are well nourished when they are in her care. If husband wants her to work, she should work.  If he's awful, she should submit. It sounds exhausting, and very much like sacrificing herself for him. Very much like "loving him as Christ loved the Church". Very much like usurping his God-given sacrificial headship. 

 

Oh,Trey's reply to the innocent lady trying to coax Lori into giving her permission to sabotage her birth control!!!!! 

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It sounds to me like you are trying to take the responsibility of birth control upon yourself so that you can purposely fail and go against your husbands wishes (and his hard NO to more children) and get pregnant again. Do you really think this is something that God would honor?

Eh, Lori? Just tell the lady to suggest she use a diaphragm and tell her to puncture it. Problem solved. 

[onemama]

And more Trey;

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Just as Paul explained his position and responsibility to Christ, wives hold the same position and responsibility to their husbands.

In this position, God calls you (wives) to strive daily, on a moment-by-moment basis, to conform yourself to your husband. Specifically, He calls you to submit to your husband in everything. He calls you to obey your husband. He calls you to serve your husband. He calls you to do everything that you can to please your husband. He calls you to glorify your husband. Yes ladies, you were made for the glory of your husband and you need to understand… THAT is YOUR place.

 

Trey, you forgot to mention the commands the same apostles Paul and Peter gave husbands in relation to their wives. You may want to pay a bit more attention to YOUR place, lest your prayers never get past the ceiling of your room. 

[Loveday]

Welp. We 'ladies' just got told, didn't we? What the hell? And who the hell does Trey think he IS? 

What an absolute ass.

[EowynW]

What the hell kind of Bible is trey reading? I am literally shaking. I hate him. 

[Loveday]

Is Trey married? I feel like that's been asked before, but I can't remember the answer. If he's not, that insane comment is the reason why. And if he IS married...his poor wife. 

[onemama]

10 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Is Trey married? I feel like that's been asked before, but I can't remember the answer. If he's not, that insane comment is the reason why. And if he IS married...his poor wife. 

I think he's married and I think he complains about his wife not "knowing HER place".  Trey, like Dave and more recently Jeff, appears to have no self-awareness to speak of.  It's amazing how they spend so much time talking so hatefully about women and how we don't "know our place", blissfully unaware that they sound like the @ssholes they probably are. 

Leslie Vernick would classify them as emotionally and spiritually abusive. They don't see women as people deserving their respect, no we only exist to fulfill a role.  Trey is the one who says that men wouldn't want to have anything to do with women if it weren't for sex.  That says everything we need to know about that Trey person.  Despicable.

[Loveday]

Thanks. I only hope he doesn't have any children. He does not need to reproduce.  Unfortunately, he's probably got a dozen. 

[Hane]

@onemama, I think you're spot on about what happened to the LorKen marriage when it hit the 23-year mark: Ken was fed up with Lori and she was staring the very real possibility of divorce--and having to support herself!--right in the face. Being an all-or-nothing type of person, she decided to Bible herself up and go for broke.