Lori Alexander 18: Taking Pictures in the Closet

[Emilycharlotte]

7 hours ago, Koala said:

Ken Alexander:

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What if you quietly walked over to your wife who is seemingly out of control and you placed your hands on her arms and pinned her to the wall, or you gave her a bear hug for a moment where she could not move, and then you kissed her a few times then whispered in her ear, I love you, but this is totally unacceptable behavior. Please stop.

Ick.

Sorry not to be more articulate, but besides the fact it's abusive to pin a person to the wall or otherwise restrain them...there is something terribly icky about that quote.

Also, I can't imagine him laying a hand on Lori without losing a couple of fingers--or worse.

 

[usmcmom]

Oh goody! I hope Trey responds to Mary Esther and gives us some insight into his marriage. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

We can hope, because as Trey is so blind to himself, he'll show us his true colors.

Can't help thinking Mary Esther might be trolling Trey a little.   "My goodness Trey, you big strong, manly command man headship you"  Insert fluttering eyelashes here.

[usmcmom]

13 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

We can hope, because as Trey is so blind to himself, he'll show us his true colors.

Can't help thinking Mary Esther might be trolling Trey a little.   "My goodness Trey, you big strong, manly command man headship you"  Insert fluttering eyelashes here.

You might be right. Mary Esther was the one who commented about all the men who were responding on Lori's post a few weeks ago. Ken rode in and tried to soothe her anxiety a bit. 

I think I like Mary Esther and I hope she comments more. 

ETA:  As my son would say "SHOTS FIRED! SHOTS FIRED!"  

Now will Phylla come back with proof from the blog?  Of course, we will never see it, if she does. 

[Koala]

I seem to remember Lori saying the same thing, but maybe I'm wrong.

I do see that she says:

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We would have had more if I were able. 

They "weren't able" because they were using birth control.

Lori:

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I hate birth control. I wish it had never been invented. If it hadn't been invented, I would probably have more children

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Having said all that, Ken and I were not quiverful when we were young.  We did use birth control until I had Ryan.  After that, we used natural family planning.  Years later, we decided we did want God to bless us with more children if He wanted, but I was 45 years old at that time.

So when they "weren't able", Lori was already 45 years old.  Before that they were purposely preventing children (probably because Ken was trying to save for retirement).  

I also wouldn't be surprised if Ken agreed to try for more at 45, because he had a fairly good idea that Lori wouldn't get pregnant.  

*Side note* Ken probably gave up on birth control after their second baby, because he saw that Lori would just sabotage it to get her way.

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 Ken told me I could stay home after I had my second baby. I was a full-time school teacher. I wanted to stay home with Alyssa so badly that I put a hole in my diaphragm and we conceived Ryan!

 

[usmcmom]

Looks like Mary Esther is having none of this sabotage nonsense when it comes to the birth control issue. 

Has it really gone over Lori's very dim head that SHE is guilty of what Trey is accusing Sarah of?? 

[feministxtian]

Ok...I guess in some ways we could be considered "conservative Christians" (theologically, not politically). Hubby has gone above and beyond since my accident. Who knew getting sideswiped could end up hurting so damn much?!? Last night, he started hinting...but ended with "if you feel up to it". I figured what the hell...BUT...he would not force the issue nor pout if I told him I wasn't interested. 

He STILL drives me all over freakin' town. Won't let me drive (which is fine because I hate his SUV), 

I've been wanting to get a mani/pedi, wax, etc. but have  put it off because finances. Guess who's going tomorrow evening? Told him I couldn't justify it b/c we're moving in less than 2 weeks. Well...that was the WRONG thing to say! Told him it'd be about 100 bucks, wrong again! Something about "if getting 'done' would make you feel better, then go do it, do you want me to drive you?" 

Big yoga ball for PT? Guess we have to get one. Pillow for desk chair? We'll go find a new one that would work best for you. First two things to get set up in our new place? My office and our bedroom. 

Hubs goes above and beyond. Lorken and others could NEVER understand that because my hubs is like that, I'd walk through fire for him. 

[EowynW]

My hubby is in the other room doing his laundry while I'm stuck in bed resting my still sprained knee. (Who knew they took so long to heal?) He also unloaded all the groceries, fed and put up the collies, and is packing his own lunch for tomorrow. He hasn't blinked an eye at the dirty dishes or messy house. He told me tonight I needed to stop stressing about it because he didn't marry a cook or housekeeper. He married me, his best friend,  to be his wife

[Koala]

Recently, Lori blasted a reader for the following comment:

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 I agree with all the precepts of this except the reference to the income as "my husband's". My husband's paycheck is not his income, it is ours. We're a family. We're a team, regardless of my support role at home. 
In the same way, my money is not mine but "our" money. I have my own money that comes through inheritance avenues annually and rivals my husband's income in size. In fact, our home we received via my inheritance. Legally he has no claim to these funds if I don't co-mingle them. But I've made sure he has access to them. Our home was not put in my name but both of our names on my insistence. 
Any money that comes to either husband or wife is jointly together theirs.

Lori's response:

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 I have never minded saying that the income my husband works his tail off to earn is his income...

Another reader chimed in and said:

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Lori, you refer to the money that a husband makes as his, but I would think it’s their money.

Lori replies:

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I prefer to not dwell on what I deserve, as the feminists have tried to train us to do, but to be thankful for a husband who works hard to provide for me.

Then we have this little gem from another reader:

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Amen! I think it’s rather fun and romantic to refer to my husbands earnings as “his”. 

Lori TOTALLY agrees:

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I agree. Feminists have taught women to be so selfish and self-oriented that the last thing they need to concentrate on is it being “their” money! 

Clearly, Lori strongly objects to women saying "our money".

Except:

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Ken and I try to be very careful with our money and not be wasteful or extravagant.

[feministxtian]

for the love of all that's holy...it's OUR money...the $$ that comes in is primarily used to keep a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs and keep the lights on. Does it really matter? For years we had separate bank accounts (we still do but finally put the other's name on them), and we'd decide who was going to pay what bill. I could and can go and see how much $ he has and he can do the same for me. IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER!!! It's not like he "oh so graciously" agrees to support you and can refuse on a whim (like my x-husband). 

She's a dipshit who doesn't know shit from shinola about a good marriage...you know the one where both folks really believe that whole "love, honor and cherish" each other. As I said above, I'd walk through fire for my hubs...he'd do the same for me. 

@EowynW sprained knees hurt like a bitch. Do the whole staying off it thing...I think your hubby and my hubby may have been separated at birth! 

[Koala]

It only mattered because she was looking for an opportunity to control/correct another adult. The last quote made it pretty clear that even she didn't believe what she was saying to those women.  She just wanted to sound superior. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Unless Mary Esther is 150, condoms and the diaphragm have been around for a long, long time so I'm not buying her" "I have 9 children because no bc options."

Also not buying this anti bc blast from Lori "If it hadn't been invented, I would probably have more children"  Since she says they stopped using bc after Ryan what was stopping her from having more children? Not bc, because they weren't using any.

I do remember her saying on the blog that she only had 4 children because after the last one she got too sick (at 30) and wasn't able to get pregnant again because of her illness,  Who knew that a bad gut (as she calls it) and chronic neck pain cause infertillity

So either she's lying and was using bc, or she and Ken never had sex. 

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

So either she's lying and was using bc, or she and Ken never had sex

Either way, we know she lies often and effortlessly...kinda like that moron in DC. 

[Granwych]

31 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

So either she's lying and was using bc, or she and Ken never had sex. 

Most likely, both.

[KDA]

On 5/7/2017 at 9:46 AM, usmcmom said:

It appears that Lori has deleted several comments on Facebook. I wish I had grabbed a screenshot of all of them. Somebody responded to this one with "Nobody deserves to be hit by their partner, no matter what." Lori followed with "Nobody here is condoning abuse," (paraphrased.). 

I think this commenter was definitely condoning abuse. Thoughts? 

That comment right there made me shudder. Does that "man" claim to be a christian? He isn't one.

[onemama]

A man wrote this reply to Trey´s post:

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You sir, are in error. My wife is to conform to Christ and not to a mortal sinner like myself. Nowhere in scripture does it say women are to conform to their husbands. The Bible talks about the individual priesthood of each believer and how they are personally responsible for their own walk with God and how we are all new creations in Christ and everyday we conform more to his image. My precious wife and I fail every day and every day the lord brings us closer to each other as we follow God together. Not only is she a perfect and unique creation of Christ she is also my sister in the Lord and fellow Believer. Were I to die tomorrow she would still be as complete abs God honoring on her own as she would be with me. Her place is next to mine, walking in the Light of our Lord.

This grieves me very much that there are people such as yourself who would tell my 5 smart, capable and creative daughters that they were created not to glorify their God but to bring glory to their husband should they choose to marry. The Bible does not teach such a thing. My daughters have full and equal access to God and their personal walk with Him whether married or single as my sons do. They are called the same as every other Believer is, to be more Christlike. They are complete in Christ with or without a man. Being married doesn’t take away a women’s responsibility of her walk with God of her use of the talents that God has given her.

 

Sounds like a man who loves his wife and his daughters. I'm surprised Lori allowed this rebuke, as she finds Trey's post to be 

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Wise and biblical words.

You tell me which one of these men sounds more christlike and loving. Not Trey, that's for sure. 

[foreign fundie]

57 minutes ago, onemama said:

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You sir, are in error. My wife is to conform to Christ and not to a mortal sinner like myself. Nowhere in scripture does it say women are to conform to their husbands. The Bible talks about the individual priesthood of each believer and how they are personally responsible for their own walk with God and how we are all new creations in Christ and everyday we conform more to his image. My precious wife and I fail every day and every day the lord brings us closer to each other as we follow God together. Not only is she a perfect and unique creation of Christ she is also my sister in the Lord and fellow Believer. Were I to die tomorrow she would still be as complete abs God honoring on her own as she would be with me. Her place is next to mine, walking in the Light of our Lord.

This grieves me very much that there are people such as yourself who would tell my 5 smart, capable and creative daughters that they were created not to glorify their God but to bring glory to their husband should they choose to marry. The Bible does not teach such a thing. My daughters have full and equal access to God and their personal walk with Him whether married or single as my sons do. They are called the same as every other Believer is, to be more Christlike. They are complete in Christ with or without a man. Being married doesn’t take away a women’s responsibility of her walk with God of her use of the talents that God has given her.

 

Sounds like a man who loves his wife and his daughters. I'm surprised Lori allowed this rebuke, as she finds Trey's post to be 

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Wise and biblical words.

You tell me which one of these men sounds more christlike and loving. Not Trey, that's for sure. 

I'm sitting here frustrated that I can't upvote this guy. Without even going into the headship/ submission debate he makes Trey  look like the fool he is by quoting the Bible back to him in a relevant, balanced and respectful way. How will Lori cope with such a display of Biblical common sense on her blog? It makes her writing look so much worse too...

[onemama]

This exchange shows how heartless Lori and ken are, and how contagious their heartless "teachings" are:

A woman on her blog "My husband's past struggle"

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So what do you do when your husband doesn’t care about being godly? I both admire and resent everything you say because I know (in my home) this won’t happen.

working outside the home is a prison of debt for me. But staying at home….? That made me a prisoner of his emotional abuse.

As I said, I both admire and despise you. Take what you will from it. I know I won’t hear a reply because you’re beyond Proverbs 31 and Titus 2….and don’t have time for sinners who have tried and failed miserably.

 

Lori:

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When your husband doesn’t care about being godly, God has the perfect plan for you found in 1 Peter 3:1-6.

some wives will suffer under disobedient husbands so how do they respond? By living in subjection to them without a word and with godly behavior in hopes that their husband will find Jesus. You must have an eternal perspective. 

our husband will suffer an eternity in burning hell if he doesn’t repent and believe so your goal should be to make his short life here as pleasant as possible in hopes that he will one day know the LORD.

 

Ken:

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 our hearts break for stories like yours

Thankfulness is what can break us out of our self pity and back into Christ

You say “I know in my home this will never happen.” You are right… it can never happen until you first change your mindset and allow Christ to do His mighty work. 

If you desire to move forward to your dreams and push through your fears… join Lori’s chat room and allow the godly women in there to minister and speak truth to you

So how are you doing in getting ready for the next life? Can Jesus count on you to be faithful? To win your disobedient husband by your joy and godly behavior?

 accept the challenges the Lord has given you and walk faithfully and joyfully within them

 

Another reader:  

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If you are stuck in a poor me frame of mind, turn it around quickly before it becomes a habit. When negative thoughts come up, replace them with all the things you have to be thankful for. Make sure you don’t stop submitting and honoring your husband during this time, in fact try to go the extra mile. Yes, you will be tired from working, but rely on God to give you strength to serve your man.

as long as he is not asking you to rob, murder,steal or any of the true exceptions above, God still calls you to obey, submit to and honor him in all things. And do it joyfully and with a smile on your face because you are following God’s design for a helpmeet. Love him and serve him joyfully and trust in God to change his mind or not, that is not your job

 If you haven’t read CTBHH or Lori’s book The Transformed Wife, I strongly, strongly urge you to get a copy and read them. They are awesome books that show you what your role as a wife is AND it is backed up with scripture.

 

These are just bits and pieces from the posts. My dear unloved wife, don't join that chat room or buy those books.  You already say you hate yourself, they will only help push you over the edge of despair. 

Go to Jesus. Go to women that actually care about you and won't find ways to ,somehow, blame you for everything that has gone wrong in your marriage and your life in general.  

Look at the way they answered a man's "poor me" post:

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Is it odd that my wife has only made my lunch for work 2 or 3 times in 22 years? Is it odd that I iron my own clothes for work, but when my son goes to a dance she irons everything for him?

Ken:

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Unfortunately what you are describing as “odd” behavior is the norm in far too many Christian marriages

It gets even worse if the wife is a stay at home Mom and has plenty of time to care for her husband but chooses not to. Then it it becomes really odd is when she expects her husband to be helping her with the housework.

His wife went into a tizzy and tirade over how disrespectful he was to boss her around....

It is a sad state of being that is completely contrary to God’s Word and the model of Jesus who gave His life away for those he loved. The Christian husband has to keep loving a wife who does not appropriately love him back, keep talking to her about the things she could do better if she wants to please the Lord and her husband, but ultimately leave her selfishness up to the Lord to change.

 

Yeah, the guy still gets told that he's stuck with the unsubmissive and selfish wife, but they actually show some understanding, share some stories of other unreasonable women, and don't try to blame him for his wife's selfishness or tell him to be cheerful and do whatever she wants. 

You won't get any sympathy from these people.  

[polecat]

9 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Big yoga ball for PT? Guess we have to get one.

Off-topic, but ... I have a big yoga ball that I bought last summer for rebounding. It's part of my daily therapy, and let me tell you, it's the best $30 I've maybe ever spent on workout equipment. Not only do I love that stupid thing, but I can't keep my kids off it. (And the neighbor kids when they come over!) It's a wonderful tool and fun to boot. I hope you enjoy yours, too. It's been super helpful for reducing swelling for me but has also helped with core strength. But also ... super, super fun. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

"Submissive" has popped up again, commenting on yesterday's blog about the most hated Bible verse.

She's going on about wearing pants, abominations, not eating pork and general nuttiness, You have to read it to believe it.

Just from reading her latest comments and her previous ones about calling her husband Lord (does she add "and Master") the woman is a wackaloon.

Unfortunately Trey has not yet responded to Mary Esther's request to tell us all about his strong godly manly man command man headship know-your-place-woman Christian marriage

[quiversR4hunting]

11 hours ago, feministxtian said:

kinda like that moron in DC

Um, you are going to have to be more specific.    DC seems to be moron mecca, like a moth to a flame. Reminds me of this:

 Thinking of Moths to a Flame. How do these hurting women, already in abusive or nearly abusive situations find Lori (the monster) Alexander? What she teaches is biblically unsound, manipulative and abusive (spiritually and emotionally). I just keep hoping that women that find Lori also find us kind souls over here at FJ- we may not be the "right" kind of people but we are far more loving than Lori & Ken Alexander (the monster couple), Trey and Cabinetman.

[polecat]

Does this sound like Trey, Earl, Cabinetman, et. al or what? 

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He will say that he really did nothing at all. That she made his life a misery. That the constant nagging got him down and pushed him to the brink of depression and suicide. That she was lazy. That she was always flirting with or sleeping with other men. That she never had sex with him and that made him feel worthless. That she spent all his money and he worked himself to the bone to keep a roof over her head. That she was a bad mother who neglected the children. That the children hate her. That her friends all think she is mad and have nothing to do with her. That even her family abandoned her. That she was cruel to him. That she hit him. That she called him names. That she deliberately did things to make him angry. That she is a liar.

And Lori? This is Lori: 

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Women coming into his life will want to be better than that awful woman. They will want to heal him after the misery and pain she caused him. 

Because she's somehow different. 

I wish I could send this link (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/jean-hatchet/when-is-an-abuser-not-an-_b_14837776.html) to all the sad, hurting women who come to Lori's blog begging her for help and understanding.

The women who write stories like this: 

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She never stopped cleaning and cooking because he ensured she knew that it was her duty. It was never quite good enough and calling her lazy made her try even harder to service his needs. She probably did not sleep with other men and was afraid to look at one or have men as friends ... She stopped going out or socialising. She was frequently bullied into sex she didn’t want. She may have been forced to perform sexual acts that she didn’t like. She may have been raped. She may have been forced to watch porn or encouraged to look like the women in porn. She thought there was something wrong with her for not liking sex. She rarely thought it might be because he made her feel so dehumanised that intimacy with him was repulsive.

 

And still get told by Lori that the fault is theirs. 

All of this is almost verbatim, and it hurts my heart so much to think of these women, textbook abuse, both from the men who write on her blog and the women asking for help. And Lori just blithely supporting all of it.

[onemama]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

the woman ("Submissive")  is a wackaloon.

I think she might be a troll. Notice how she's always controversial and always takes everything to the extreme. 

[usmcmom]

Today Lori's post has yet another photo of a beautiful kitchen, which made me wonder about something. Remember when Lori said she had her Chat Room members share pictures of their sparkling clean kitchens? I wonder if Lori looked at all of those and suddenly became dissatisfstied with her own kitchen, thus the new counter tops because she "set hot pans on them and cracked them."  

I think the chat room is planting seeds of discontent and Ken needs to shut that thing down like RIGHT NOW!!  

[Koala]

49 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Today Lori's post has yet another photo of a beautiful kitchen, which made me wonder about something. Remember when Lori said she had her Chat Room members share pictures of their sparkling clean kitchens? I wonder if Lori looked at all of those and suddenly became dissatisfstied with her own kitchen, thus the new counter tops because she "set hot pans on them and cracked them."  

I think the chat room is planting seeds of discontent and Ken needs to shut that thing down like RIGHT NOW!!  

Yeah, in the "look at my new kitchen!" video, she said that the remodel was planned for 5 years from now.  Unfortunately, the sink rusted, and since you can't replace your kitchen sink without remodeling the entire kitchen, they had to do it right away.  Makes sense, right?