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Duggars by the Dozen 47


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I thought the Duggars refused to do anything Santa related. Because Christmas is all about Jesus! Why is he sitting in their living room? 

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Love after abuse is a funny thing. You can still love your family, want to see certain members, and have good memories but refuse to be victimized yet deeply want your family to be “normal” and healthy more than you want anything. It’s a roller coaster. 

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5 hours ago, marmalade said:

Josie already has an Apple watch? She's what, 14?

That’s a pretty common gift in my area among parents who don’t want their kid on-line 24/7, but want them to have some of the features. They can monitor usage a little better. They aren’t always actual iPhones, but have text, calling to a limited list, the fitness apps and I think some limited games. 

6 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I thought the Duggars refused to do anything Santa related. Because Christmas is all about Jesus! Why is he sitting in their living room? 

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I think they’ve been seen doing Santa stuff several times over the years. Surprisingly they don’t seem to be hard-core on that one. 

Edited by Mama Mia
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17 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

That’s a pretty common gift in my area among parents who don’t want their kid on-line 24/7, but want them to have some of the features. They can monitor usage a little better. They aren’t always actual iPhones, but have text, calling to a limited list, the fitness apps and I think some limited games. 

I think they’ve been seen doing Santa stuff several times over the years. Surprisingly they don’t seem to be hard-core on that one. 

They were hard core for the cameras. I remember when they didn’t even have a Christmas tree.

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27 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

They were hard core for the cameras. I remember when they didn’t even have a Christmas tree.

Yeah, just had a Happy Birthday Jesus sign hanging off the stairs with no tree.

Interestingly, that's what Jill has done this year. 

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7 hours ago, marmalade said:

Josie already has an Apple watch? She's what, 14?

Good for her. If I had my premature birth, premie health struggles, seizures, bathroom accidents, and childhood televised I’d better get an Apple Watch and a heck of a lot more.
 

What the betting someday Josie receives an itemized list of the cost of raising her with the Apple Watch listed? 

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On 12/26/2023 at 2:22 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

They were hard core for the cameras. I remember when they didn’t even have a Christmas tree.

I'm pretty sure they said they didn't have a Christmas tree because the little kids would mess with it/get hurt by it and it was too much work.  It wasn't they were opposed to Christmas trees, it was that it was too much work with too many small children.

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40 minutes ago, imokit said:

I'm pretty sure they said they didn't have a Christmas tree because the little kids would mess with it/get hurt by it and it was too much work.  It wasn't they were opposed to Christmas trees, it was that it was too much work with too many small children.

I bet it was mostly money and time motivated. That was the motivation for almost all their choices back before the show. The kids went without so much because there wasn’t enough money or time.

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For a long time now, the back burner of my brain kept trying to match up who I thought Joy looked like, and it finally crystallized in my mind: Billie Eilish (who I love). Not just facial similarity , but they both often favor a tomboy look.

 

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On 12/26/2023 at 1:16 AM, Father Son Holy Goat said:

Love after abuse is a funny thing. You can still love your family, want to see certain members, and have good memories but refuse to be victimized yet deeply want your family to be “normal” and healthy more than you want anything. It’s a roller coaster. 

That is understandable. However she has had contact with them during and since the book has come out.  I think it is Jimbob only that they had an issue with and a few people who supported him.  JimBob - according to Derrick was still contacting them via friends and leaving veiled threatening messages after the disagreement.  She has also had his 'followers' post up unpleasant things on her instagram.  I have seen these messages and they are not the sort of things you say to an abuse victim.    In addition, she stated that her siblings were afraid of him or indicated that they are being manipulated by him.  So why on earth would you be visiting his house (as it is his house) at all? - would this not be triggering bearing in mind that he is a narcissist? and therefore cannot change his behaviour and has never apologised. But again, we don't know the full story. Perhaps he has changed and expressed remorse.

And I know about abusive family members as well.  I was and still am dealing with them. But I would not have them in my house and not visit their house.  I would have dearly loved to have them around for christmas and so on, but I know that as soon as the smiles dissipate and after a short period, we will be back to square one.  They can snap any moment and revert back to the same behaviour.  This is what happens when there is no remorse at all and they are always right!

 

On 12/26/2023 at 3:58 AM, Father Son Holy Goat said:

Good for her. If I had my premature birth, premie health struggles, seizures, bathroom accidents, and childhood televised I’d better get an Apple Watch and a heck of a lot more.
 

What the betting someday Josie receives an itemized list of the cost of raising her with the Apple Watch listed? 

That is the very least that they could give to her after filming her seizures with her at one point in an immodest fashion with just a small blurring out. 

 

Edited by Bridgecape
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A lot of parents I know with kids ages 10+ are getting them Apple Watches because it’s a way to track them and communicate with them, without the access that phones can give. But I can see the health info being useful too. 

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Is JB doing damage control by having Jill and Derick in his home at Christmas AND making sure the moment is visually captured and strategically posted online for all to see? To me, it’s interesting they’re talking to Jed, since isn’t he more Team JB and Josh? I would have thought he and Jill were more on the outs. 

I saw my extended family Christmas Eve and Christmas Day; enough to last for at least six months (4th of July). It’s a strange, dysfunctional dynamic. Two parentified sisters act like they are the mother and father of us all these decades later. Like they are the headship of the family. One sister will take the opposing view of absolutely everything I say. The other deceptively acts like she cares, but she is all about bonding with opposing-view sister. It took me way too long to recognize how deceptive she was.

I understand the desire for that “normal” family. I had it for years, kept throwing myself back into the mix hoping it’d materialize. I finally grasped that I was the one who had to change and stop waiting for them to change. I learned that showing up for myself was more important, that I had value. I stopped putting myself out there to be trampled on for their entertainment.  

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On 12/25/2023 at 1:32 PM, marmalade said:

Josie already has an Apple watch? She's what, 14?

I can't snark on that. My 14 year old has had an apple watch for more than a year. And an iPhone, iPad, Macbook.... As do pretty much all of her friends. It is the norm in our area. 

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1 hour ago, BensAllergies said:

A lot of parents I know with kids ages 10+ are getting them Apple Watches because it’s a way to track them and communicate with them, without the access that phones can give. But I can see the health info being useful too. 

Yea, the version a lot of kids I know had pre-phone is called a Gizmo. Pretty cheap to buy and then a few dollars a month. Around here they all have regular phones by 10-12 ish. But the limited function watch was super helpful for them to call mom/dad/grandma, Track if they are at the park or wherever during elementary school. 

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Having a watch that acts as a phone is popular with the tweens and young teens. Mostly because parents don’t want their kids to have smart phones yet. But they need to call them if they are at practice or a friends house. And kids want to text eachother.

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8 hours ago, Cam said:

Is JB doing damage control by having Jill and Derick in his home at Christmas AND making sure the moment is visually captured and strategically posted online for all to see? To me, it’s interesting they’re talking to Jed, since isn’t he more Team JB and Josh? I would have thought he and Jill were more on the outs. 

I saw my extended family Christmas Eve and Christmas Day; enough to last for at least six months (4th of July). It’s a strange, dysfunctional dynamic. Two parentified sisters act like they are the mother and father of us all these decades later. Like they are the headship of the family. One sister will take the opposing view of absolutely everything I say. The other deceptively acts like she cares, but she is all about bonding with opposing-view sister. It took me way too long to recognize how deceptive she was.

I understand the desire for that “normal” family. I had it for years, kept throwing myself back into the mix hoping it’d materialize. I finally grasped that I was the one who had to change and stop waiting for them to change. I learned that showing up for myself was more important, that I had value. I stopped putting myself out there to be trampled on for their entertainment.  

I think I was 25 when I finally realized that nothing was forcing me to participate in my fucked up extended family dynamic. It was just a stupid volleyball game with a sure guarantee that you'd end up getting called an asshole for any mistake. My sister got so nervous but I felt deliciously free. Fuck that noise.

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On 12/28/2023 at 12:00 PM, BensAllergies said:

A lot of parents I know with kids ages 10+ are getting them Apple Watches because it’s a way to track them and communicate with them, without the access that phones can give. But I can see the health info being useful too. 

Our son is 10, 11 in June. Once he has to start walking home from middle school next year he will be getting an I -watch for this exact reason. We will probably get him an actual IPhone once he starts modified sports as well. 

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On 12/28/2023 at 9:03 PM, Kiki03910 said:

I think I was 25 when I finally realized that nothing was forcing me to participate in my fucked up extended family dynamic. It was just a stupid volleyball game with a sure guarantee that you'd end up getting called an asshole for any mistake. My sister got so nervous but I felt deliciously free. Fuck that noise.

We must have the same family! I refused to participate in volleyball games at family reunions starting young because it was way too competitive. Too many arguments and frustrations. I feel like they’ve chilled out in more recent years. Thank goodness. But I still won’t play. 

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