Tomorrow (1/19) is Sarah's 30th b-day.

[VenusDaisy]

Have any of you read this: http://botkinsyndrome.blogspot.com/p/en ... drome.html

The first paragraph says it all, but it does go further (sadly, and almost unbelievably).

The second paragraph talks of 'covert incest'. Not sexual. But, of an adult getting emotional fulfillment from a child because the spouse isn't available. It makes my gut churn.

Teri was depressed for years, and who knows, honestly, how that manifested. Steve has taken 100% control of that family, in every way. Sara was the oldest daughter.

Reading that whole site, Steve and his control needs along with Teri and her depression, all combined with what we know of how isolated that family is and how they are the be all and end all (and only) people, relationships and experiences any of them have...

Dude, it creeps me the fuck out. Steve should be shot, Teri needs a good psychiatrist, and all the offspring need some deep, personal, intense therapy and detox.

Wow! That link did make my stomach churn! I agree, that entire family needs intense therapy!

[Constance Vigilance]

Aye, my mother's family has a caretaker sister. All she ever did was stay home and take care of her parents all her life -- she worked literally one block from the family house. When her last parent died we thought she would die with him. :( Fortunately she has rallied and has some hobbies and friends and stuff now. But it is a terrible thing to do to a daughter.

[kpmom]

Last night, I had a dream about Sarah Maxwell getting married. She and her intended had published a little book about it and somehow mailed it to folks here at FJ, then announced it on a live video feed.

After that, the dream proceeded to get really weird.

What was the book called? "Betrothal Days With the Moodys"?

You know as much as we've talked about Sarah and her single status we deserve to be told of any engagement before anyone else!

[synchroswimr]

What was the book called? "Betrothal Days With the Moodys"?

You know as much as we've talked about Sarah and her single status we deserve to be told of any engagement before anyone else!

Ha! I don't remember the title. It was the size of a baby's board book, though. :-)

[lilwriter85]

i can see Sarah Maxwell being the designated caretaker for Ma and Pa Maxwell. I think Sarah Malley might have a better chance of getting married than Sarah Maxwell.

[Guest Anonymous]

i can see Sarah Maxwell being the designated caretaker for Ma and Pa Maxwell. I think Sarah Malley might have a better chance of getting married than Sarah Maxwell.

Yeah, and I think that's why Steve relieved her of her moderating duties on the Titus2 blog last year. He would not want her being exposed to comments that might confirm her fears about his intentions for her.

[FloraDoraDolly]

i can see Sarah Maxwell being the designated caretaker for Ma and Pa Maxwell. I think Sarah Malley might have a better chance of getting married than Sarah Maxwell.

Sarah Malley seems to get out quite a lot, traveling and speaking at churches and conferences. She even strikes up conversations with random strangers at the mall. The strangers all seem to be young females and of course the conversations are all about religion, but she isn't sitting at home waiting for Prince Charming, even though that's what she expects her readers to do. But Sarah Maxwell? I honestly don't see how she'll meet anybody under her present circumstances.

[darkplumaged]

But Sarah Maxwell? I honestly don't see how she'll meet anybody under her present circumstances.

I think it's not impossible that some of their blog readers have grown sons whom they could tell about Sarah. I have no idea if even the "godliest" random guy would impress Steve enough to be allowed to correspond with Sarah... but I think this is the only real option for her. She does nothing that would bring her into contact with single men IRL.

[freejoytoo]

Sarah Maxwell makes me think of the story Evelyn in Dubliners by James Joyce. I worry that if she does get courted she'd possibly be swapping one cage for another.

[Mudgie]

There is a part of me that often wonders if Teri is behind the fact that Sarah hasn't married yet. I wonder if she struggled so much with post partum depression and having additional children afterwards that there is a part of her that does not want that for her daughters. So by keeping Sarah a daughter at home until her early 30's she's keeping her from having a large family and lessening her chances of the crippling depression she herself suffered from. It's just something that has occurred to me time and again.

Regarding Sarah Malley, she looks terribly unhealthy as though she's anorexic.

[Mama Mia]

For all of these SAHD who are moving through their teens and twenties and into their 30's without a husband - I wonder how much of an internal conflict they must have between wanting to be married with their own home and knowing that as soon as that happens they are increasing the number of children they will end up with.

Even if they firmly believe in the concept and goal of letting God decide how many children they have - they may very much prefer that God give them the 6-8 children they are likely to bare if they marry in their early thirties-- not the 15+ that is probable if they marry at 20ish.

A decade of caring for younger siblings while sloooowwwllly hoping for Mr. Right to wander by might not be an entirely bad thing in their eyes.

[Brainsample]

Have any of you read this: http://botkinsyndrome.blogspot.com/p/en ... drome.html

The first paragraph says it all, but it does go further (sadly, and almost unbelievably).

The second paragraph talks of 'covert incest'. Not sexual. But, of an adult getting emotional fulfillment from a child because the spouse isn't available. It makes my gut churn.

Hey, my internet ears are burning.

[Justme]

I'm gleaning from the last blog that she's not much of a sewer. (Mary seems to be talented in sewing.) We rarely hear of Sarah cooking. (Anna seems to be the "cook".) Though not a "homemaking skill", she's also not musical, either. Can she make goat's milk soap? Can she garden? (I don't recall the Maxwell's doing much gardening.) In the world of fundie, strong homemaking skills are important. Perhaps this is a reason fundie men have not come a-corting.....

 

All the more reason, Sarah, why you need to fly the nest, take some college English/Creative Writing classes and **breath**.

[Creaky Mom]

One doesn't need to be much of a sewer to sew the crap those girls do.

[DCmilly]

This is one of the reasons that I feel like these families really fail their daughters. If you believe that the only option that your daughter will have when she grows up is to be a homemaker then the least you need to do is give her the skills to be a good homemaker. If these girls don't know how to cook well, understand nutrition, have basic medical/nursing skills, make clothing, basic business administration and bookkeeping, maintain household finances and have a thorough understanding of child development and education then their parents have failed their daughters even when measured by their own standards of raising homemakers.

[tabitha2]

Neither Jessa nor Jinger can cook or sew and are not particularly maternal.

[zoestercoaster]

This is one of the reasons that I feel like these families really fail their daughters. If you believe that the only option that your daughter will have when she grows up is to be a homemaker then the least you need to do is give her the skills to be a good homemaker. If these girls don't know how to cook well, understand nutrition, have basic medical/nursing skills, make clothing, basic business administration and bookkeeping, maintain household finances and have a thorough understanding of child development and education then their parents have failed their daughters even when measured by their own standards of raising homemakers.

I think the biggest failure is the refusal to acknowledge that some women just aren't "domestic" types. They're shoehorning young girls and women into roles that may not necessarily fit their personalities.

But yes, I also feel they are being shortchanged and expected to "learn by osmosis" basic homekeeping skills. Keeping a budget can be difficult! Nutrition is not intuitive, especially if you have been raised on TTC.

[DCmilly]

DCmilly wrote:

This is one of the reasons that I feel like these families really fail their daughters. If you believe that the only option that your daughter will have when she grows up is to be a homemaker then the least you need to do is give her the skills to be a good homemaker. If these girls don't know how to cook well, understand nutrition, have basic medical/nursing skills, make clothing, basic business administration and bookkeeping, maintain household finances and have a thorough understanding of child development and education then their parents have failed their daughters even when measured by their own standards of raising homemakers.

I think the biggest failure is the failure to acknowledge that some women just aren't "domestic" types. They're shoehorning young girls and women into roles that may not necessarily fit their personality types.

But yes, I also feel they are being shortchanged and expected to "learn by osmosis" basic homekeeping skills. Keeping a budget can be difficult! Nutrition is not intuitive, especially if you have been raised on TTC.

I agree...I just didn't state it well. I think that women should follow their passions whatever those may be, but if you're going to force them into homemaking then you at least need to educate them about the basics of homemaking.

[YPestis]

Sarah is a great baker. Here is the link:

http://www.titus2DOTcom/blog/index.php/ ... e-of-anna/

to a turtle cheesecake she made for Anna's birthday (scroll down to the see the pic). I'm not much of a baker but that looks professionally done. I'd say Sarah is a decent cook. As the oldest girl, she's probably cooked for the family for many years before her sisters were old enough to do the same. And we know all the Maxwell girls know how to clean very well.

[Guest Anonymous]

Sarah is a great baker. Here is the link:

http://www.titus2DOTcom/blog/index.php/ ... e-of-anna/

to a turtle cheesecake she made for Anna's birthday (scroll down to the see the pic). I'm not much of a baker but that looks professionally done. I'd say Sarah is a decent cook. As the oldest girl, she's probably cooked for the family for many years before her sisters were old enough to do the same. And we know all the Maxwell girls know how to clean very well.

Aha, the famous turtle cheesecake... I was expecting it to be turtle-shaped!

My guess is that Sarah, the only remaining non-reversal baby still at home, just does what she can to differentiate herself from the younger siblings. She is the "writer", and doesn't belong to the MG singing group, spends morning prayer time alone, not with the father, looks after the business rather than the home. She may be a more introverted ersonality, or even have inherited her mother's depressive illness (and be subject to her father's "cure") from things that have been said here and there, and perhaps just prefers to have time out from the kitchen which is a very open plan part of the home.

[Renting with Raggles]

DCmilly wrote:

This is one of the reasons that I feel like these families really fail their daughters. If you believe that the only option that your daughter will have when she grows up is to be a homemaker then the least you need to do is give her the skills to be a good homemaker. If these girls don't know how to cook well, understand nutrition, have basic medical/nursing skills, make clothing, basic business administration and bookkeeping, maintain household finances and have a thorough understanding of child development and education then their parents have failed their daughters even when measured by their own standards of raising homemakers.

I think the biggest failure is the refusal to acknowledge that some women just aren't "domestic" types. They're shoehorning young girls and women into roles that may not necessarily fit their personalities.

But yes, I also feel they are being shortchanged and expected to "learn by osmosis" basic homekeeping skills. Keeping a budget can be difficult! Nutrition is not intuitive, especially if you have been raised on TTC.

Add a fair amount of magical/ fallacious thinking and the ability to affirm the consequent:

Godly females are good housekeepers.

My daughter is a godly female.

Therefore, cheese on toast served as normal, sit-down dinner = good housekeeping.

[BogoPogo1]

Seems like Sarah did plenty of the cooking back when I used to read their forums. Also, isn't she the one who is usually behind the camera? I believe she is reasonably passable in all those skills, while the younger girls are still being trained. I think of her more as a graduate of homemaker-school who now has other primary responsibilities related to the business and the writing of books.

[Justme]

Happy Birthday! Maybe this is the year will finally become an "adult"....

[Jessica]

Free Sarah!

[simplysweet]

I feel so bad for her - in Fundie world isn't she going to be considered a "old maid?"