Tomorrow (1/19) is Sarah's 30th b-day.

[ncb]

I just read the post and it made me so sad and so angry that this poor woman has been so brainwashed by her parents. It is like Steve sat there and helped her write that post to make her truly horrid situation seem like it was her choice, as if a term like "choice" even applies to someone who has never been taught/allowed to think for herself or see anything of the world beyond Steve's control. He is such a bastard.

[WonderingInWA]

OMG, that is so sad! SOOOOOOO sad! That she felt the need to even post it, that Stevie even allowed her to post it.

We need to stage an intervention and get her the hell out of that house. If successful, that will be "His plan", right? Who's with me????

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I'm no Christian but even I seem to recall a saying "God helps those who help themselves."

I'm not saying she has to actively go out trolling for a man, but I don't see HOW God is ever going to put a guy in her path if she never leaves the HOUSE. She needs to put herself in some places where men her age and sympathetic to her background might encounter her, y'know? (Of course you know. I'm preaching to the choir here surely...)

Not going to church at all is just the worst part. She belongs to NO community at ALL. None. There's no matchmakers she can call, no classes she can take, no church services to get involved with volunteering at, no chat forums to meet people on, no library volunteering, NOTHING. How is she supposed to even be seen by any eligible people? No one is going to just approach her in the supermarket when she's out with her sisters doing the shopping.

The one slim shot they had was the conferences, and it seems they have fewer of those as time goes by. It's just so sad...

[virginmojito]

I doubt she's happy. It is not the lack of a husband, but rather, the pestering and pressure she gets. If she could live on her own... I wonder if she can keep the money she earns with the books SHE!!! writes.

[Guest Anonymous]

OMG, that is so sad! SOOOOOOO sad! That she felt the need to even post it, that Stevie even allowed her to post it.

We need to stage an intervention and get her the hell out of that house. If successful, that will be "His plan", right? Who's with me????

I think Steve didn't just allow her to post this, but MADE her do so, as punishment for daring to question her destiny in life.

[WonderingInWA]

I think Steve didn't just allow her to post this, but MADE her do so, as punishment for daring to question her destiny in life.

Oh, you're probably right. He's all about upholding the image that what they've done is the right way to raise children.

Can't wait to see the comments that come in on the blog. Of course, Stevie will be sensoring them so nothing fun will show up. But obviously this whole "Sarah's not married and there are no prospects on the horizon" has become an issue for Stevie and having Sarah post about why she's happy to not be married is his form of damage control.

[Almost Quiverfull]

Poor Sarah. The pastor of the fundie lite church I use to attend said that the Lord can bring someone your way, but there's nothing wrong with giving him a little bit of help. He encouraged the young people in the church to get involved, take classes get to know other Christians.

The thing that worries me is that even if there was someone who was interested in courting Sarah he'd have to go through Steve. How many guys are going to agree to being "discipled" by Steve before they can court his daughters. I feel sorry for all the Max girls. Free Sarah, Anna and Mary.

[Deleted05]

Someone needs to forward that to Anna-Sophia.

[Daenerys]

Oh, you're probably right. He's all about upholding the image that what they've done is the right way to raise children.

Can't wait to see the comments that come in on the blog. Of course, Stevie will be sensoring them so nothing fun will show up. But obviously this whole "Sarah's not married and there are no prospects on the horizon" has become an issue for Stevie and having Sarah post about why she's happy to not be married is his form of damage control.

It's not much of a damage control, as it just highlights the ridiculousness of the situation.

[WonderingInWA]

It's not much of a damage control, as it just highlights the ridiculousness of the situation.

Right. It would ignore the elephant in the room if she'd just not mentioned it at all. But there were a lot of comments on the previous post expressing what some might call concern over her, um, unfortunate situation of being unmarried. It's interesting to me she even mentioned that there don't seem to be any prospects on the horizon. Good God, Stevie -- get that girl somewhere she can meet guys her own age! The world is huge -- there has to be someone out there for her.

[crazyforkate]

Poor Sarah. The pastor of the fundie lite church I use to attend said that the Lord can bring someone your way, but there's nothing wrong with giving him a little bit of help. He encouraged the young people in the church to get involved, take classes get to know other Christians.

The thing that worries me is that even if there was someone who was interested in courting Sarah he'd have to go through Steve. How many guys are going to agree to being "discipled" by Steve before they can court his daughters. I feel sorry for all the Max girls. Free Sarah, Anna and Mary.

Good for your pastor! I went to a summer camp once where the counselor was talking to us about dating, and sobbing- sobbing- she told us that she had committed a terrible sin by asking a guy friend on a date (which was really an event with her youth group), when she should have trusted God to bring him into her life if that was His plan. I was like- really?! This girl was maybe sixteen or seventeen and felt so guilty about it. It is so wrong to inflict that kind of shame on your children.

[Sola]

Poor Sarah, surely we know of some nice fundie man we can shove in her direction?

If she got out there in the real world she'd meet a nice man within weeks.

[Mommy22alyns]

Ugh, poor Sarah. :(

[virginmojito]

That's a life pretty hopeless. I don't know what would keep me alive. She does not sound like she really wants out. People who WANT out will get out no matter what (look at RRuth). They leve their comfort zone behind even if it seems like risking their lives. But they who really want out will do that and face a world that was painted as horrible, dangerous and sinful to them. Sarah rather remains in her agony and dies inside.

[dairyfreelife]

I have said this before, but I used to post on a forum when I was in my fundie stage called I don't date. I remember one girl had an avatar that was a door and stairs up to it that said "I believe in doorstep." Basically some of the girls-most actually seemed to feel that God would give them someone and would bring him to their doorstep-ala the mailman or UPS man or whatever. I bet Sarah is made to believe that too and that some guy has to approach her father before approaching her. I haven't had much luck finding dates and I work and go to school and the gym, etc. But at least I can meet and talk to other guys. Sometimes Sarah is probably unable to do. I bet she isn't allowed to talk to any male not her dad or sibling and if they speak to her, she is probably only allowed curt, short responses back. Poor Sarah. I wish she would escape the compound.

If that demo tape dude posted on a pic with her once is single...

[survivor]

That's a life pretty hopeless. I don't know what would keep me alive. She does not sound like she really wants out. People who WANT out will get out no matter what (look at RRuth). They leve their comfort zone behind even if it seems like risking their lives. But they who really want out will do that and face a world that was painted as horrible, dangerous and sinful to them. Sarah rather remains in her agony and dies inside.

It really isn't that easy. Yes, some people can, but saying "because she doesn't leave and because she tows the party line - she doesn't want to" is totally unfair. She's being raised in abuse. Women return to extreme life-threatening abuse over and over. If it was easy to leave, we'd all be gone the first time they did anything wrong.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents. But I'm an abuse survivor who is struggling not to go back after a year of separation. This morning I told him I loved him and I wanted to come back. So, I must not really want out of my abuse. Or maybe years of abuse takes its toll on you and wears away your believe in yourself, your competency, and your perceptions. /soapbox

[virginmojito]

It really isn't that easy. Yes, some people can, but saying "because she doesn't leave and because she tows the party line - she doesn't want to" is totally unfair. She's being raised in abuse. Women return to extreme life-threatening abuse over and over. If it was easy to leave, we'd all be gone the first time they did anything wrong.

I know many, many people who escaped from home! With much more than just spiritual abuse involved! Imagine rape, broken jaw, being locked out in pj's during wintertime, etc. Point is, you have to take steps towards freedom! You can't expect a saviour to come and rescue you. It might happen but I would not wait for that.

[deborahlynn1979]

I'm no Christian but even I seem to recall a saying "God helps those who help themselves."

FYI, this is NOT in the Bible, and it really goes against most of Christianity because God helps those who CAN'T help themselves. I'm not sure why people always think it's in there.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_helps_ ... themselves

[Hane]

It really isn't that easy. Yes, some people can, but saying "because she doesn't leave and because she tows the party line - she doesn't want to" is totally unfair. She's being raised in abuse. Women return to extreme life-threatening abuse over and over. If it was easy to leave, we'd all be gone the first time they did anything wrong.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents. But I'm an abuse survivor who is struggling not to go back after a year of separation. This morning I told him I loved him and I wanted to come back. So, I must not really want out of my abuse. Or maybe years of abuse takes its toll on you and wears away your believe in yourself, your competency, and your perceptions. /soapbox

Please, please cut off all contact with him and stay out. There are many of us here eager to give you moral support--me among them.

[Avalondaughter]

In case we need further proof that the Maxwells read here. It's this post in a nutshell.

[Guest Anonymous]

I know many, many people who escaped from home! With much more than just spiritual abuse involved! Imagine rape, broken jaw, being locked out in pj's during wintertime, etc. Point is, you have to take steps towards freedom! You can't expect a saviour to come and rescue you. It might happen but I would not wait for that.

Wow, you know everything! You should run the world and then no one would be oppressed anymore! Imagine!!111!!

[tabitha2]

I agree.No one can get out alone but you have to determine in your head to make a start and take the first steps yourself-even if it is just asking for help from an outside source.

[Austin]

It may be stark and seem cruel, but only Sarah can get Sarah out of this. She is an adult and she is choosing to stay. Sure, emotional and spiritual abuse have limited her abilities to think clearly about the issue, and has disadvantaged her mightily. But the fact remains that only she can leave. No one can save her, just as no one can save any adult person in any type of abusive situation. They must save themselves, or at least take first steps towards freedom. Who else can possibly do it for them?

[virginmojito]

I agree.No one can get out alone but you have to determine in your head to make a start and take the first steps yourself-even if it is just asking for help from an outside source.

Totally. It is called willpower. You can buckle up in or see your life going down the sink. Your call. No magic wizard or saviour will come. It's not because I say it so, it's a fact of life, take it or leave it. I believe it's easier to stay in one place and pity yourself but it will not take you anywhere.

[virginmojito]

It is not my responsibility to save the world : ) But since I know many people with serious damages done to them, I have difficulties finding excuses for totally sane, healthy adults.