Tomorrow (1/19) is Sarah's 30th b-day.

[kpmom]

Sarah Maxwell will be 30 next week. While that's not old by my standards, Sarah has been trained to be a keeper at home all of her life, and is not being allowed to practice her "occupation", at least not in her own home.

I just can't imagine Steve and Teri continually giving their "Courtship" seminars, while having a 30 year old daughter at home. Sooner or later some attendees are going to call them on it.

I also get a very strong feeling about John from Idaho and his two visits in the last 4 or 5 months. It's hard to believe they'd allow a single, young male to visit (without his whole family along) twice without something being afoot.

What do you think? Will Sarah marry, or at least be courted, in 2012?

[Sola]

I do hope so. As much as I hate the whole patriarchal courtship mindset, I hope that Sarah is being courted. It's beyond time that she was living her own life.

[ophelia]

I really hope it for her. Maybe a marriage will allow her to leave her crazy father. Although I don't really see that, since any guy who wants to court her must be approved by Steve and so his beliefs will be quite similiar.

I would love to see the Maxwells having less success in fundieland and doing less conferences etc. but this would mean that Sarah will stay home for the rest of her life..

and we should not forget that fundies are somewhat stupid. The Botkinettes are still single too and write a book about how to get along with guys.. it's obvious that their way does not lead into courtship or marriage, but still they are selling their stuff. I guess it'll be the same with the Maxwells.. even with unmarried children at home.

[haveapicniclife]

I hope so. Her life makes me so sad. It's one thing to be 30 and single by choice, I'm all for that. But to be kept at home like a child, with no choices, no life experience, nothing. It just makes me so sad. Most people turning 30 have been out of college for a few years, working and on their own, have bought a vehicle, maybe even started their retirement accounts. And she has nothing to show for her time.

ETA- she's only five years younger than me! That really blows me away when I think about all the things I've done and experienced in the last ten years.

[genericJname]

I hope so. I'm not generally for depending on a man in order to have a life, but in this case, it may be her only chance out.

[Guest Anonymous]

I'd love to see her end up with someone who makes enough of the right noises to pass muster with Steve, only to do a 180-degree turn after the honeymoon is over. Such turn would include persuading Sarah to enroll in college and encouraging her to make friends outside of the family circle.

[contrary]

I hope all of the same things previously mentioned, for Sarah.

Honestly, though? i don't think she'll get married this year, or ever. I think in Fundie Years, she's already too old. Maybe a widower with young children, but i forget if Daddy Maxwell feels a 2nd marriage of a widower is adultery? (I can't keep everybody's rules straight...)

EFR (edited for riffle)

[Koala]

I actually hope she doesn't get married this year. If she gets married now, it will be on Steve's and the potential husband's terms, not hers. I honestly don't think marriage is a good first step for someone that has been controlled and brainwashed all their lives.

I would love to see her get a job, enroll in college, and walk right out the door this year. I would love to see her pursue her own interests for a while without being tied down to a man or children. She needs time to figure out who she is.

If she marries now she will just be switching prisons and wardens. Steve will see to that.

[Sister Mary Savage]

I hope that she doesn't have to stay a SAHD for the rest of her life. When you are taught from birth to be a homemaker and you cannot do it, it has to suck. :violin: .

[terranova]

John-Marie doesn't give me any skeevy vibes, and I believe Idaho is far enough away from Kansas for Sarah to have some freedom if she were to move there. Hopefully her MIL isn't a bitch.

[emmiedahl]

I have this horrible suspicion that the courting will be for one of the younger girls. Which would suck ass for Sarah. She would be officially taken off the shelf and placed in long-term storage.

[fundiefan]

I bet no. She is too far gone. She's also too valuable to Steve's economical state. Unless she stops making him money, she is his for life.

[Daenerys]

I have this horrible suspicion that the courting will be for one of the younger girls. Which would suck ass for Sarah. She would be officially taken off the shelf and placed in long-term storage.

Yeah, I have this feeling he might be for Anna as well...

[library_youth]

I also think John-Marie is probably for Anna. They are closer in age. I'll feel even sorrier for Sarah if it's true. It would be awful to watch your much-younger sister getting married before you when you've been taught all your life that marrying and being a homemaker is the only correct path for a woman. She's already had to sit there for years and watch others (Melanie, non-reversal Anna) attain what's been so unattainable for her.

[skankbiscuit]

I think John Marie is for Sarah. If Steve wants her to be married to a person who has never been married and lives up to his impossible standards, even Steve has to realize that means Sarah will have to marry a younger man. Right? Also, Steve just seems the type to marry his kids off in birth order. So far that has been the case. So Sarah should be next, yes?

[Jenesis Jexodus]

I wonder if Sarah has had possible courters before that her father turned away and never told her about. Wanting to keep her around to help her mother raise the younger children, keeping secret the suiters that came a calling. Justifying it that they weren't good or faithful enough or something and then just never telling anyone about it. Who would know, who would find out. I wouldn't be surprised if that is what the Duggar dad does to keep his older daughters in the home helping the mother with the youngest.

[fundiefan]

I wonder if Sarah has had possible courters before that her father turned away and never told her about. Wanting to keep her around to help her mother raise the younger children, keeping secret the suiters that came a calling. Justifying it that they weren't good or faithful enough or something and then just never telling anyone about it. Who would know, who would find out. I wouldn't be surprised if that is what the Duggar dad does to keep his older daughters in the home helping the mother with the youngest.

I don't wonder, I just kind of see it as fact. They don't interact much, but they are 'out there' and fundie boy/men do get to see her and I don't doubt for a second that some of them have had extreme confidence to be able to approach the idol, er, Steve. I also have no doubt that they were too worldly, didn't spend enough daily time with the lord, liked baseball, went to a regular church, had hobbies for fun - any number of things that Steve see's as sinful and wrong.

In a nutshell, Sara is most likely screwed. I don't see her having a shot in hell at being married or having a life outside her father. Steve's way of life is extreme even for fundies. He doesn't approve of living life for the sake of life; it all has to be for and about god and the bible and 'not fun' and purposeful and full of work for god's (Steve's) glory. Not even the fundiest of fundies live that way - even the VF crowd has fun for the sake of fun; even the full blown courtship focused fundies have fun, even if it is all only within the family.

Steve has created a world of his own, just as HE needs. He doesn't care or consider that his offspring, as individuals, may need something else because they are not individuals. They. Are. His. He is in total and complete control, and I don't see any man being able to meet his approval.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I also think John-Marie is probably for Anna. They are closer in age. I'll feel even sorrier for Sarah if it's true. It would be awful to watch your much-younger sister getting married before you when you've been taught all your life that marrying and being a homemaker is the only correct path for a woman. She's already had to sit there for years and watch others (Melanie, non-reversal Anna) attain what's been so unattainable for her.

It's not only about never being able to practice your "craft," either - the Maxwells clearly consider their offspring living at home to be children, with no say in what goes on, not allowed to RUN anything or be considered adult. Only when the older sons married out are they given some autonomy or considered to be adults.

So if a younger daughter marries before Sarah, it would be like seeing her younger sister leapfrog her into adulthood. I just can't even imagine.

I'm an older sister with a younger sister who married first. My younger sister also has more education than I do (she's an MD, I have an MS). She has kids, I don't. In some ways now, she feels older than me, mainly due to having kids. BUT!!! We're secular. So I moved out of the house first (to live with roommates entirely across the WORLD, to take an engineering degree), and was considered an adult at that time (right out of high school). I had a full time job, I had my own life. I was not still considered a child while my younger sister got married. Much later in life I did get married - but I was already an independent adult, and chose my own husband.

...which is all just to say, I feel sorry for Sarah. As always.

[Jenesis Jexodus]

I don't wonder, I just kind of see it as fact. They don't interact much, but they are 'out there' and fundie boy/men do get to see her and I don't doubt for a second that some of them have had extreme confidence to be able to approach the idol, er, Steve. I also have no doubt that they were too worldly, didn't spend enough daily time with the lord, liked baseball, went to a regular church, had hobbies for fun - any number of things that Steve see's as sinful and wrong.

In a nutshell, Sara is most likely screwed. I don't see her having a shot in hell at being married or having a life outside her father. Steve's way of life is extreme even for fundies. He doesn't approve of living life for the sake of life; it all has to be for and about god and the bible and 'not fun' and purposeful and full of work for god's (Steve's) glory. Not even the fundiest of fundies live that way - even the VF crowd has fun for the sake of fun; even the full blown courtship focused fundies have fun, even if it is all only within the family.

Steve has created a world of his own, just as HE needs. He doesn't care or consider that his offspring, as individuals, may need something else because they are not individuals. They. Are. His. He is in total and complete control, and I don't see any man being able to meet his approval.

Thanks for the info. You're always to nice to take the time to inform me of what's happening with the fundies and I appreciate it. :)

[kpmom]

In a nutshell, Sara is most likely screwed.

Or not screwed. ;)

Seriously though, I agree, it would be very hard to find even a very fundy man to live up to Steve's standards.

If he found a very godly man who, as you say, followed baseball on the radio (no beast!), but had no other "faults", would that alone knock him out of contention? Probably. Sad.

But, having said that, I still believe John Marie is there for more than just visiting. I just can't imagine the Maxwells allowing a single, young man to sleep in their house, very near their pure, maiden daughters, without some kind of plan. If he had visited with his family, I'd feel differently, but he came alone.

[Phyllis Styne]

When I saw them last year, I wasn't surprised that Mary ended her spiels during the concert by mumbling her last sentence all rushed together. I wasn't even that surprised at Anna doing kind of the same thing. When Sarah did it, though? It impressed me negatively. Like here's a 30-yo whose been doing this act for much of her adult life and if anybody should be wrapping up their little speech in a professional tone it should be Sarah.

So what did that tell me but htat Sarah's about over it. Maybe this is why STeve answers most of the questions. Maybe Sarah is in 'bite me" mode ab out anything that she can't do in the privacy (so called) of the bus.

I mean think about it. To be 30 and never have held hands with a guy, never have even had the chance to sit and tlak and flirt with a guy and let's not even mention being alone with one. What really made me sad is to think of if Sarah does have a chance to marry, we've already seen that it takes a little longer and maybe a lot longer for 30-yo eggs to get on the fertilization train.

[Justme]

I also think John-Marie is for Anna. Being Anna is only 19, I think Stevie will hold off the "official" courtship and marriage for a couple of years to give Sarah a "chance". I also think Sarah is "screwed". I've no doubt Stevie brushed away potential mates when she was younger. Seeing how hard it was for Chris to find a wife, I think he now may be saying the fundie equivalent of "oh shit". :o This is why were seeing many more pic's and stories of Sarah in their blog now.

I think as soon as Anna & John Marie are married, he'll start husband hunting for Mary as she'll be nearing marriageable age. The reversal boys will be able to take care of themselves. Sarah will find herself taking care of elderly parents then living with Nathan. :cry: I do think Nathan & Mel will treat Sarah kindly. But how sad to be "trained" for a "job" that never materialized.....

[emmiedahl]

I think the guy is there for a younger sister, but Steve might be trying to convince him to take Sarah instead. That might be the reason for the hold-up. There could be a disagreement about which sister is getting courted.

Sarah seems really bland to me, even for a Maxwell. The younger sisters have a little more perk to them.

[kpmom]

I think the guy is there for a younger sister, but Steve might be trying to convince him to take Sarah instead. That might be the reason for the hold-up. There could be a disagreement about which sister is getting courted.

Sarah seems really bland to me, even for a Maxwell. The younger sisters have a little more perk to them.

I imagine a lot of the household responsibilities fell to Sarah, especially during Teri's almost decade long depression.

[lilwriter85]

I also think John-Marie is for Anna. Being Anna is only 19, I think Stevie will hold off the "official" courtship and marriage for a couple of years to give Sarah a "chance". I also think Sarah is "screwed". I've no doubt Stevie brushed away potential mates when she was younger. Seeing how hard it was for Chris to find a wife, I think he now may be saying the fundie equivalent of "oh shit". :o This is why were seeing many more pic's and stories of Sarah in their blog now.

I think as soon as Anna & John Marie are married, he'll start husband hunting for Mary as she'll be nearing marriageable age. The reversal boys will be able to take care of themselves. Sarah will find herself taking care of elderly parents then living with Nathan. :cry: I do think Nathan & Mel will treat Sarah kindly. But how sad to be "trained" for a "job" that never materialized.....

I also think Sarah's future will turn out like that.