Tomorrow (1/19) is Sarah's 30th b-day.

[Justme]

So far she has 59 b-day greetings, more than any other Maxwell on their birthday. I hope this makes her feel special/loved. (She's sure not going to feel loved at home.)

Thanks for those that shared Stevie's emails. I find little hope that Sarah will be allowed to marry. No one is going to "measure up" to Steve's standards. Plus, he's never going to let his work-horse go. :cry: Many the forthcoming years will "mello" Steve so Anna & Mary can marry. In 10 years, Steve will be 70, Anna 29 and Mary 25.

[WonderingInWA]

That is so weird that he wouldn't have at least replied with something regarding N&M's wedding. I have seen one photo of them somewhere but it was just a half-body shot and then Teri had written up an account of the day somewhere and I can't remember where I saw that either. You would think that if the photos exist somewhere they would be happy to share them just as a testimony to such a holy union, or some dumb Christianese wording. Maybe since N&M were married so long ago, they were allowed risque dresses on the bridesmaids and then he'd have to do an entire dad's corner on it to explain why he let that happen!

[Marian the Librarian]

From the latest comment on Maxwell Family's "Sarah's Birthday" post:

Gabby S says:

January 20, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Happy Birthday, Sarah! My little girl loves the Moody series so much that she wants to throw a special birthday tea party for you this weekend. She wanted to know how many candles she should put on your cake

Hope you have a year full of blessings,

The S Family

>>>>>>>

30

Another of Steve's typically terse answers. Looks like he's finally been forced to acknowledge the truth.

[fundiemomnot]

Thanks for those that shared Stevie's emails.

You're welcome. I thought it was really interesting. I really wanted him to answer why it is okay to seek out work and customers, but not a husband. Poor Sarah.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Thanks for those that shared Stevie's emails.

You're welcome. I thought it was really interesting. I really wanted him to answer why it is okay to seek out work and customers, but not a husband. Poor Sarah.

Even in his little Bible search though he acknowledges that Ruth went out of her way somewhat to put herself in the path of Boaz, even while not throwing herself at him exactly.

So IF you were to admit this were in any way relevant to reality (which I, two beers in, will not, but just for the sake of argument...) you'd think ol' Steve-O would be all about finding what sufficiently Godly gatherings were going on in his corner of Kansas or even among various people in the US/Canada that they've met on their various bus trips, and maybe figure out a way to attend those gatherings or even have Sarah work at them if there are positions available for staff. That way she would not be pursuing (heavens no!) any particular guy, but would be making herself available to his path, as per the recipe.

But no...

Seriously though she needs to do SOMETHING. I'd suggest volunteer work, but of course that's not nearly restrictive enough for Steve, I mean, she'd be meeting and mingling with the garden variety citizens of Leavenworth, Kansas, goodness only KNOWS what depravity she might encounter :roll:

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

yeah there is some real magical thinking going on in steve's head. or more likely he wants sarah at home as another devotee of himself and therefore is saying he is letting it up to god, knowing full well how unlikely it is for anything to happen.

i'm 29 this year, newly single out of a 3 year relationship. i have been to uni, got a post grad, lived in europe for 2 years, bought a flat, had 2 loves (so far), many boyfriends, heaps of dates, heaps of friends, travel and fun. sure i'm single now like sarah...but i feel so much luckier than sarah cos my self worth is not tied up in marriage and babies.

And my dad gave me $ for a deposit on a house on the other side of the country...didn't keep me at home. yay for feminist, atheist, educated fathers!!!

[fundiemomnot]

"...therefore is saying he is letting it up to god, knowing full well how unlikely it is for anything to happen."

I especially like how they didn't leave buying a new stainless steal vs. enamel stove top "up to god". Nathan didn't leave choosing a humidifier "up to god". Somehow, marriage, which is the only course to the ultimate blessing - having a boatload of babies - is left to a miracle. In no other area of their life do they operate this way. It's astonishing.

[Lillybee]

I hope that they celebrated her birthday with a bit more than two animal crackers.

[Letgo]

I loved the birthday comment for Sarah wishing her freedom and happiness. Steve totally did not get it, as evidenced by the fact that he published it. Sadly, he will never "get it" soon enough to free Sarah. Or anyone else in the family.

[Sola]

I met Steve and Terri once and asked them how they went about finding spouses for their children. It was about eight years ago, so I didn't really know. Terri told me that they would not in any way try to look for or arrange opportunities for their kids. They would simple wait for the Lord to send the right person. A woman beside me could not believe her ears. "Nothing at all?!?!" burst out of her mouth. Terri confirmed.

Last year I had the nerve to ask Steve why he was comfortable pushing his various business ventures (ie not waiting on the Lord to send customers to his door for the books, courses etc) while at the same time assuming that a spouse would walk through the door. He didn't approve my post, but did write to me on my private email.

At first his answer was kind of rude (I think). He wrote to me, "Maybe I'm missing something, but where do you find the parents of the girl taking the initiative in finding a husband in Scripture?"

I replied, "Thanks so much for your reply. Well, not the parents, but in Ruth's case she arranged her own match with Boaz. In fact you could say her approach, directed by her mother-in-law, was quite forward.

However, it's not that I have an example of the parents of girls initiating a courtship, but that there are so few examples of how marriage was arranged (at all) that I wonder how you came up with your approach. For instance, if we go by biblical examples should we send out servants with money and jewels to approach potential mates for our sons?

I just really do wonder if you are trying a system that may not work out for your daughters. I use Sarah as an example because she is the one getting to an age where her healthiest childbearing years are behind her. At 31 when I finally had my first child I was considered to be advanced maternal age."

Steve's response,

"Ruth would be an interesting example to spend some more time with. One of the key aspects of courtship is being under the parent's authority and that is what she did. As instructed she placed herself in the path/proximity of Boaz. At that point Boaz initiated the relationship.

We are doing two things, which we don't consider them anything. That is double talk but maybe you will understand. We are very open to meet new families as we travel and in our area, but we aren't going to manipulate circumstances to make something happen. That is somewhat similar, but not to Ruth's extent. However, I've seen some where the parents have gotten involved and approached the boys family. Or they are extremely overt in getting together when not invited. We haven't felt God's leading for such a thing. And we are praying. We feel that if God can save us from hell, surely, He can provide a spouse for every child that He wants married.

It's a difficult thing to raise girls with the heart's desire to be a wife and mother, but also realize it isn't God's will that everyone gets married. We desire His best for all of our children and want to see Him work and not later have regrets and doubts about did we do it in the flesh. I think families that are aggressive in finding their daughters husbands stand the risk of having great doubts later in life if there are struggles in the marriage. We want to know that we know, God is the One that put them together. We also don't want to make a idol out of marriage. We want God's best for each one.

Also, we feel it is much different for the girl than the boy. The girl will be under her husband's authority. So this guy is going to set the direction completely for her life from then on. He better be the right one."

I thanked him and that was the last of it.

So basically Steve expects the perfect husband for Sarah just to walk through the door? But at the same time Sarah is not allowed to independently make any friends outside their immediate circle so as to enable her to become noticed by this 'perfect husband'?

The only people who Sarah meets outside that circle are the people at the conferences and lets face it, most of the sheeple there are so much in awe of the Maxwells that they aren't going to approach Steve over forming a relationship with Sarah. To them the Maxwells are on a pedestal; they are out of reach. I would be very surprised indeed if even if a family had a son who was interested in Sarah, that the family approach Steve over a potential courtship.

Sarah isn't going to get married any time soon unless things change at Maxwell Towers.

[WonderingInWA]

Which is really sad! If he still believes the way he did when he responded to you, then he's not willing to help her. His own daughter! And she's so brainwashed thinking he walks on water, she will never rebel.

She's pretty and has worked hard for the family. He should encourage her to become more social (which he will never do) and give her hope if she would like to seek out a spouse,.

Then again, maybe she doesn't. Maybe she has no desire to get married. I don't think it has ever been Sarah on the blog that has said she wanted to someday be a wife and mother, has it? Can't remember.

[gilora]

Maybe Steve is finally ready for Sarah to marry. ITA with the prior posters who thought that the blog post sounded like a personal ad.

Despite her age, I think Sarah would be a good catch for a man strong enough to stand up to Steve. She's attractive, accomplished and "pure." Of course, such a man would never obtain Steve's approval -- ahem, god would never lead such a man to Sarah.

[Daenerys]

Maybe Steve is finally ready for Sarah to marry. ITA with the prior posters who thought that the blog post sounded like a personal ad.

Despite her age, I think Sarah would be a good catch for a man strong enough to stand up to Steve. She's attractive, accomplished and "pure." Of course, such a man would never obtain Steve's approval -- ahem, god would never lead such a man to Sarah.

I agree. She'd also be a good catch for someone who doesn't want too many children, as she's only got 10-15 years left and isn't from the most fertile of families. She'd probably have around 6-8 children if she got married now, which is a managable number for a QF family, especially in these economic times.

[virginmojito]

I'm exactly 30! Any other 30yo-s here? There is a whole life ahead of her. I've been wanted to be 30 since I was 17. Schoolboys stopped teasing me or making comments on me, twenty-someting men find me a 'real woman' and men 10 ys older then I treat me respectfully, finally, not like a 'kid'. I don't know, I like it, I love it. I worked and studied a lot, I'd like to enjoy this 'season of life' - I stole this one from michelle - except that I won't be on yellow pills all the time due to no ability to deal with reality. We're starting a family this year, we'll have even more fun. Poor girl should have escaped. No matter what pains you have to go through on your own, still better than being controlled! And THAT very nice man will be sent along.

[Deleted03]

I agree. She'd also be a good catch for someone who doesn't want too many children, as she's only got 10-15 years left and isn't from the most fertile of families. She'd probably have around 6-8 children if she got married now, which is a managable number for a QF family, especially in these economic times.

we don't know about the women. only the brothers are married and we can't evaluate their fertility.

Plus orgasm helps getting pregnant and I doubt mama maxwel heard about them! *ehehe*

[fundiefan]

I still think it is evidence of Steve's own insecurities. If he had any faith in the way he raised his kids, he wouldn't have a problem with his thirty year old adult daughter interacting with people outside the family. He would trust her to do the right thing; he would trust her to make smart choices and not put herself in a position to put her purity and godliness in doubt. He would trust that he raised her right so she is fully capable of being an adult.

Since he doesn't let her out of his sight, he doesn't trust her or what he taught her. He has no faith that he's done right by raising them as he did. He has zero confidence in his own choices and ways.

Like all tyrants, he is too fearful of those he oppresses rising up against him. Best to keep them downtrodden and controlled rather than risk retaliation.

[bertiebean]

From the latest comment on Maxwell Family's "Sarah's Birthday" post:

Another of Steve's typically terse answers. Looks like he's finally been forced to acknowledge the truth.

That was me!! Gabby Dean is a penname I write under. Guess it's not so secret now XD. I'm glad I got him to admit it, but fully expect it to be gone within the hour if he's lurking here like we suspect.

[Zoom]

I'm 30. I don't look 30 though. My students laughingly concluded that when standing with them I looked like one of them. My colleagues have walked into my classroom to talk to me and not realised I've been there because I've been sitting next to a student helping them. I still get carded when buying alcohol and I get to ride the bus for the under 25 price.

In difference from Sarah I have a job I love. I have two Masters. I have my own apartment. I've lived in three different countries. Although I was back living with my parents while I was in gradschool I was treated as an equal. I had equal responsibility and equal say in issues that concerned all those who lived in the house (at one point my brother and his girlfriend also lived there).

I wish I had a man in my life but until I meet someone I am out in the world learning, living, loving and above all I have a life that is my own.

[Justme]

Which is really sad! If he still believes the way he did when he responded to you, then he's not willing to help her. His own daughter! And she's so brainwashed thinking he walks on water, she will never rebel.

She's pretty and has worked hard for the family. He should encourage her to become more social (which he will never do) and give her hope if she would like to seek out a spouse,.

Then again, maybe she doesn't. Maybe she has no desire to get married. I don't think it has ever been Sarah on the blog that has said she wanted to someday be a wife and mother, has it? Can't remember.

I'm pretty sure she wants to be a wife and mother. Other FJ'ers have reported that she was upset when Anna announced her pregnancy. (Along the lines of "she's only 25ish, why not me...".)

[fundiemomnot]

I wish I knew how to make the separate quote boxes:) I'm new here.

Steve and I wrote to each other last June, so I'm sure he still thinks the same way.

Regarding Sarah's desire to marry, she mentioned at one point that she had to stop reading Christian romance novels (I think this was in the era before all fun was banned) because it made her think about marriage too much. She quotes Steve as saying that there's more to life than dreaming about marriage. I think he said something like, "A girl should get on with life and learn life skills." Wish I could be more specific.

I'd love to know more about Sarah's comments about Anna's pregnancy. Was that here?

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I wish I knew how to make the separate quote boxes:) I'm new here.

Steve and I wrote to each other last June, so I'm sure he still thinks the same way.

Regarding Sarah's desire to marry, she mentioned at one point that she had to stop reading Christian romance novels (I think this was in the era before all fun was banned) because it made her think about marriage too much. She quotes Steve as saying that there's more to life than dreaming about marriage. I think he said something like, "A girl should get on with life and learn life skills." Wish I could be more specific.

I'd love to know more about Sarah's comments about Anna's pregnancy. Was that here?

I don't think there's an automatic way to make the separate quote boxes - I do it manually in the editor.

You just need to open the block with {quote="poster"} and end it with {/quote}, but use square brackets rather than the curly ones I have shown here. Paste whatever text you want inside, type your own stuff in between multiple quote sections, whatever. So:

{quote="CookieMonster"}

some stuff he said! Just copied and pasted with the usual methods you use on your computer

{/quote}

Turns out like:

some stuff he said! Just copied and pasted with the usual methods you use on your computer

I will say I like the multiple-quote functions on fark.com, wish this site had similar, but you get what comes with whatever software you have, surely.

I also really do wonder what Sarah REALLY thinks about her sisters in law. Not to imply they don't get along and are genuine friends, but there's got to be a little twinge of jealousy in there. I mean, they're adults, and she's not, even though they're younger than she is (IIRC).

[jenny_islander]

I wish I knew how to make the separate quote boxes:) I'm new here.

Steve and I wrote to each other last June, so I'm sure he still thinks the same way.

Regarding Sarah's desire to marry, she mentioned at one point that she had to stop reading Christian romance novels (I think this was in the era before all fun was banned) because it made her think about marriage too much. She quotes Steve as saying that there's more to life than dreaming about marriage. I think he said something like, "A girl should get on with life and learn life skills." Wish I could be more specific.

I'd love to know more about Sarah's comments about Anna's pregnancy. Was that here?

There should be a "Quote" button at the top right corner of the post you want to quote. I clicked it to make this post.

The thing is, okay, a girl should get on with learning life skills . . . but Sarah Maxwell isn't a girl anymore. Her father is being selfish. It makes him look very, very bad. He does not look like a Godly man leading his family flock; he looks like a weird clingy old creep. Steve Maxwell, are my words simple enough for you to take in?

[fundiefan]

I am also grateful for those of you who pray for me. It is such a blessing to know you are upholding me to our Heavenly Father. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if the Lord wants me married, it is an easy thing with Him. But, that appears to not be His plan at this very moment, so I joyfully go with His plan and know that when it is His timing, it will happen. I rest contentedly and happily in what the Lord has given me.

 

Love,

Sarah

[Guest Anonymous]

titus2.com/blog/index.php/2012/01/23/thank-you-9/

I am also grateful for those of you who pray for me. It is such a blessing to know you are upholding me to our Heavenly Father. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if the Lord wants me married, it is an easy thing with Him. But, that appears to not be His plan at this very moment, so I joyfully go with His plan and know that when it is His timing, it will happen. I rest contentedly and happily in what the Lord has given me.

Run, Sarah, run! :(

[Creaky Mom]

On a positive note, there were balloons. :clap: