Katie and Travis 5: Baby Makes Three

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I have insane self-consciousness about my appearance because of being overweight and never becoming used to it.  When I wear makeup I just think of the phrase "lipstick on a pig" and that's all I can see when I look in the mirror.  I have to bite down HARD on any commentary about my body because my daughter is 2 and really aware of everything.  I don't want her to inherit my issues - she can develop her own later if she must.

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

I just recently watched Katie's wedding video for 1st time and that was the 1st time I really saw her as looking "pretty pretty". Her dress really flattered her and though she looked like a 35 year old she seemed very beautiful.

I think Carlin gets pretty heavy on the spackle and contouring sometimes.

Carlin looks so much more beautiful and fresh faced without make up. Imho.

Erin's pretty has never seemed more than average and at times vaguely threatening. Its too controlled,  to rigid...what was that movie...mommy dearest? 

[Expectopatronus]

My sister overbuys for my daughter. I tried to set the limit of no more than four things for Christmas but it didn’t work. We have way too much stuff and it gets overwhelming. I would much rather my daughter get a book, a quality toy and maybe some needed clothes than 10 Dollarama type toys. Trying to purge is not possible as my sister looks for the toys when she is at my house and offers to patch the worn out clothes. I spoil her daughter too but in smaller quantities. I’ll buy her an outfit she likes that is a better quality cotton and will last, books, and a few toys. I have to remind myself that to my sister more stuff = more love. 

[Kiki03910]

On 3/9/2023 at 9:11 PM, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I have insane self-consciousness about my appearance because of being overweight and never becoming used to it.  When I wear makeup I just think of the phrase "lipstick on a pig" and that's all I can see when I look in the mirror.  I have to bite down HARD on any commentary about my body because my daughter is 2 and really aware of everything.  I don't want her to inherit my issues - she can develop her own later if she must.

Wishing for you to reach a point of comfort and loving yourself. We live in a shitty, judgmental world. Please be kind to yourself!

[gobucks]

I watched today's YouTube video. They did their newborn photo shoot that we've already seen on instagram. They did an ad for Capital One browser shopping extension. Kenna and Esther came for a quick visit. Hailey had her pedi appointment where they said she hasn't gained back to her birth weight. They ordered a lab draw to check jaundice levels. They disclosed that Katie passed out in the shower a few days ago *whenever this was filmed* and had to go to ER. Her iron levels were borderline but didn't get more iron or blood transfusions so they told her to get up slowly when she is moving around. They go to the lab to get it drawn for the baby.. and they missed the lab hours. Cut to the next day to Travis and Hailey's first "daddy daughter date" (his words) to get the labs drawn because Katie wasn't feeling well. Travis says that he got a lot of looks because of his young age at the hospital... It really seemed to bother him that people do double takes because he looks "16". Hailey did gain back her weight and her jaundice levels are good. They are planning a trip to TN to meet the whole Bates fam. 

Edited March 14, 2023 by gobucks

[AussieKrissy]

15 minutes ago, gobucks said:

I watched today's YouTube video. They did their newborn photo shoot that we've already seen on instagram. They did an ad for Capital One browser shopping extension. Kenna and Esther came for a quick visit. Hailey had her pedi appointment where they said she hasn't gained back to her birth weight. They ordered a lab draw to check jaundice levels. They disclosed that Katie passed out in the shower a few days ago *whenever this was filmed* and had to go to ER. Her iron levels were borderline but didn't get more iron or blood transfusions so they told her to get up slowly when she is moving around. They go to the lab to get it drawn for the baby.. and they missed the lab hours. Cut to the next day to Travis and Hailey's first "daddy daughter date" (his words) to get the labs drawn because Katie wasn't feeling well. Travis says that he got a lot of looks because of his young age at the hospital... It really seemed to bother him that people do double takes because he looks "16". Hailey did gain back her weight and her jaundice levels are good. They are planning a trip to TN to meet the whole Bates fam. 

Kudos to him for taking the babe and not making unwell Katie go with him. I know that dads get praised for doing shit they just should do. But I will praise any fundie that surprises me by going against what I expect them to do. I am old enough to be his mother and had my baby later in life and I still felt like I didn’t know what the hell I was doing doing things on my own with a newborn. So the fact that he went on his own is a big plus for me. I hope his supportiveness continues 

[0 kids n not countin]

Imo Hailey looks very much like Travis's mother.

[front hugs > duggs]

8 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Kudos to him for taking the babe and not making unwell Katie go with him. I know that dads get praised for doing shit they just should do. But I will praise any fundie that surprises me by going against what I expect them to do. I am old enough to be his mother and had my baby later in life and I still felt like I didn’t know what the hell I was doing doing things on my own with a newborn. So the fact that he went on his own is a big plus for me. I hope his supportiveness continues

A few days after my brother was born, my mom had to go back into the hospital, I believe for a blood clot situation? My dad thought my brother would go back into the hospital with her 🤣. Ignoring the fact that it would obviously be overwhelming to be caring for a newborn at home while your wife is in hospital, I think he was MORE overwhelmed at the idea of taking care of the newborn on his own!

[JermajestyDuggar]

On 3/9/2023 at 11:11 PM, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I have insane self-consciousness about my appearance because of being overweight and never becoming used to it.  When I wear makeup I just think of the phrase "lipstick on a pig" and that's all I can see when I look in the mirror.  I have to bite down HARD on any commentary about my body because my daughter is 2 and really aware of everything.  I don't want her to inherit my issues - she can develop her own later if she must.

I’ve been there don’t that most of my life. I was in high school in the 90s when extreme thinness was the only body type allowed. It’s taken me so very long not to completely hate my fat body. It’s taken a long time to accept that diets never made me happy and they only hurt me. I used to think the same way about lipstick on a pig. I’ve finally gotten to a point in my life where I will dress up, do my hair, and makeup and not feel like I’m putting lipstick on a pig. I don’t know how old you are but I’m 40. I think part of it is my growing older and part of it is changing my mindset. I’m constantly challenging my ideas of beauty and body shape. It’s a process. It’s taken me years to shift my mindset. There’s a book called “Anti-Diet” by Christy Harrison that speaks on why diet culture has fucked us all up for decades. I’m sure there are other books and podcasts that might interest you. 
 

My recommendation is to buy clothing you like that fits you and your new body size. Everyone feels like shit about themselves if they go to their closet and nothing fits. Just remember that our culture has told you that gaining weight is always bad and losing weight is always good. When it’s not. That’s just a lie and it needs to be challenged regularly. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Ok I’ve decided to get on my soap box again 😂

What I would love for our culture to consider is this: 

Are fat people more likely to be depressed because they are fat? Or is it because of the culture that reacts to them being fat that causes higher rates of depression? 
 

Think of it this way. Fundies like to say that the LGBTQ+ community has higher rates of suicide. And that’s the reason why being queer is bad. They say it causes depression. When anyone with any sense knows it’s not being queer that causes depression. But the culture around you telling you that you are wrong to be gay. It’s a sin to be trans. You are bullied or rejected due to something that is part of you and something you didn’t choose. 
 

Now think about fatness. If a person loses weight, that person is constantly complemented for it. They are told how much better they look. It makes the person internalize any weight gain as making them look worse or making them bad in some way. They are better when thinner and it’s reinforced everywhere in our culture. It’s all over social media that weight loss is best and weight gain is horrible. It’s a personality flaw to gain weight. There must be something wrong with you if you gain weight. Wouldn’t that make anyone depressed? Wouldn’t that upset most people? Wouldn’t that cause depression? Of course! So it’s not the weight gain that causes anyone to be depressed or unhappy. It’s the cultural reaction to it. It’s our internalized ideas of diet culture and fat phobia. It’s not the weight itself. If a person suddenly feels so amazing because they lost weight, a big reason for it is because everyone around them u is a complementing them and strangers are treating them better. This is why I never talk about anyones weight. I never focus on it at all. It’s a neutral for me. And if weight was treated more like a neutral, many less people would be harmed. 
 

ETA: and if anyone comes at me with the health excuse to fat shame people. I might lose it, lol. Just fair warning 😝 Because weight is not a good indicator of health. 

Edited March 14, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[rebeccawriter01]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Ok I’ve decided to get on my soap box again 😂

What I would love for our culture to consider is this: 

Are fat people more likely to be depressed because they are fat? Or is it because of the culture that reacts to them being fat that causes higher rates of depression? 
 

Think of it this way. Fundies like to say that the LGBTQ+ community has higher rates of suicide. And that’s the reason why being queer is bad. They say it causes depression. When anyone with any sense knows it’s not being queer that causes depression. But the culture around you telling you that you are wrong to be gay. It’s a sin to be trans. You are bullied or rejected due to something that is part of you and something you didn’t choose. 
 

Now think about fatness. If a person loses weight, that person is constantly complemented for it. They are told how much better they look. It makes the person internalize any weight gain as making them look worse or making them bad in some way. They are better when thinner and it’s reinforced everywhere in our culture. It’s all over social media that weight loss is best and weight gain is horrible. It’s a personality flaw to gain weight. There must be something wrong with you if you gain weight. Wouldn’t that make anyone depressed? Wouldn’t that upset most people? Wouldn’t that cause depression? Of course! So it’s not the weight gain that causes anyone to be depressed or unhappy. It’s the cultural reaction to it. It’s our internalized ideas of diet culture and fat phobia. It’s not the weight itself. If a person suddenly feels so amazing because they lost weight, a big reason for it is because everyone around them u is a complementing them and strangers are treating them better. This is why I never talk about anyones weight. I never focus on it at all. It’s a neutral for me. And if weight was treated more like a neutral, many less people would be harmed. 
 

ETA: and if anyone comes at me with the health excuse to fat shame people. I might lose it, lol. Just fair warning 😝 Because weight is not a good indicator of health. 

Standing and applauding...

My mother has always struggled with weight in large part due to food insecurity as a child. Now she has advanced cancer and is losing weight at an alarming rate. Her primary doctor ignored all of the signs of cancer and congratulated her for losing weight before sending her home without referring her on to an oncologist. It was three months before she finally got in to see someone in oncology. We'll never know what could have been had that doctor actually paid attention. I suffered from fainting several times a week for over a year. A different doctor looked at me and said, "you are overweight." I responded with, I am aware but was not aware that weight makes people just fall down randomly.

Skinny doesn't mean healthy and vice versa. Yes, I'm aware of the risks of increased weight. I'm also aware of the bias healthcare has towards it and the blame they assign. My stubbed toe isn't a result of carrying an extra pound. My sinus infection isn't either. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

58 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

Standing and applauding...

My mother has always struggled with weight in large part due to food insecurity as a child. Now she has advanced cancer and is losing weight at an alarming rate. Her primary doctor ignored all of the signs of cancer and congratulated her for losing weight before sending her home without referring her on to an oncologist. It was three months before she finally got in to see someone in oncology. We'll never know what could have been had that doctor actually paid attention. I suffered from fainting several times a week for over a year. A different doctor looked at me and said, "you are overweight." I responded with, I am aware but was not aware that weight makes people just fall down randomly.

Skinny doesn't mean healthy and vice versa. Yes, I'm aware of the risks of increased weight. I'm also aware of the bias healthcare has towards it and the blame they assign. My stubbed toe isn't a result of carrying an extra pound. My sinus infection isn't either. 

I also have a doctor who blames everything on weight. His bias keeps him from being a good doctor. He would probably be a decent doctor if he didn’t have that bias. 

[HeartsAFundie]

It was no easier on weight for those of us growing up in the 70s and 80s.  When I was in the 8th grade in 1977-78, I was 5'1" and weighed about 125 pounds.  I got picked on mercilessly throughout grammar school for being fat.  Keep in mind I went to school with a student body that mirrored the Rodrigues kids-looks, body type, right down to the Portuguese heritage-so I stood out like a sore thumb.  The irony isn't lost on me that if I were in 8th grade today with the same height and weight, no one would blink an eye.  

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, HeartsAFundie said:

It was no easier on weight for those of us growing up in the 70s and 80s.  When I was in the 8th grade in 1977-78, I was 5'1" and weighed about 125 pounds.  I got picked on mercilessly throughout grammar school for being fat.  Keep in mind I went to school with a student body that mirrored the Rodrigues kids-looks, body type, right down to the Portuguese heritage-so I stood out like a sore thumb.  The irony isn't lost on me that if I were in 8th grade today with the same height and weight, no one would blink an eye.  

 

Bullying is also taken more seriously today. Yes, it absolutely still happens. But when I was bullied every day at school for my weight for 3 years straight, not a single teacher bothered to notice or care. We never had any sort of class topic on bullying. It was never addressed at all. Nowadays, I know that at least bullying is addressed. It’s recognized in schools. It still happens but at least it’s not 100% ignored like when I was in school. 

[Kiki03910]

15 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Bullying is also taken more seriously today. Yes, it absolutely still happens. But when I was bullied every day at school for my weight for 3 years straight, not a single teacher bothered to notice or care. We never had any sort of class topic on bullying. It was never addressed at all. Nowadays, I know that at least bullying is addressed. It’s recognized in schools. It still happens but at least it’s not 100% ignored like when I was in school. 

This topic makes me so sad because it feels like there's no way we can win. I grew up a pretty normal weight, though tallish and athletic (big shoulders) but I thought I was supposed to look like Kate Moss and hated myself. Flash forward to today, my slim mid-teen niece feels self-conscious because she isn't built like a Kardashian. Meanwhile covid-era stress got me quite thin just in time to realize that's not the "ideal" body type anymore lol. WHAT THE FUCK. I'm just trying to be kinder and less judgmental about myself, and about others. Most of us are just out here doing our best in a fucking terrible, challenging world. I'd much rather people focused on how nice, empathetic, and generous others are than what they look like. Hug yourselves, you guys. You totally deserve love and understanding and acceptance.

[SorenaJ]

Honestly what helped me was realising there is no award and no price for being the thinnest, tallest, curviest etc etc. We all go to bed at the end of the day, and no one gets "ranked" on their looks. A rank list won't be posted through the letterbox, and you don't win anything by being thin. You are free to just exist. Before that, I would look at other people and think "why is my body not as good at theirs?" But the list of rankings does not exist. 

[CanadianMamam]

I doubt Katie  ever got this kind of attention from KJ, let alone a grandchild. You can tell she knows how different Travis's smaller family is from her own. 

[Seeking]

So glad to hear she has help, but SOTDRT in her post. Perhaps just typos?

[Tangy Bee]

Katie better enjoy the help while she can because Mrs Clark has another grand baby coming soon. She will have to split up time for both infants.

[CanadianMamam]

16 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Katie better enjoy the help while she can because Mrs Clark has another grand baby coming soon. She will have to split up time for both infants.

She will but Katie and Travis live really close and Kayla is a couple hours away in Delaware. Kayla is due in May so hopefully Katie will be through the worst by then or at least figured out good coping mechanisms. 

[doubleT]

Very nice of Mrs. Clark to help out like that.  A real benefit to Katie, who seems to be having some medical issues to deal with.  Wonder if they have to do with the clotting issue and coming off those shots.  

I wonder why she slept on the couch and not in the guest bedroom though.  

[CanadianMamam]

58 minutes ago, doubleT said:

Very nice of Mrs. Clark to help out like that.  A real benefit to Katie, who seems to be having some medical issues to deal with.  Wonder if they have to do with the clotting issue and coming off those shots.  

I wonder why she slept on the couch and not in the guest bedroom though.  

Guest room is downstairs, pretty far from the nursery. If she was there to help out with the middle of the night wake-ups, it was probably easier for her to sleep on the couch and keep her ear out. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Kelly wouldn’t even hold a grandchild for an hour so her daughter could take a shower and get ready uninterrupted. Small families are better than 19. Proof right here. 

[JDuggs]

I haven’t been paying close attention. Did Katie start out breastfeeding and then switched to formula? I don’t know how you can breastfeed without getting up a couple of times during the night. And does Travis need uninterrupted sleep also? He can get up too. I realize that they’ve already stated that they want a smaller family, but I’m glad Hailey is just fussy enough to reinforce it. Katie and Travis are very lucky to have an unpaid night nurse. This is a luxury most new parents don’t have.

[CanadianMamam]

1 minute ago, JDuggs said:

I haven’t been paying close attention. Did Katie start out breastfeeding and then switched to formula? I don’t know how you can breastfeed without getting up a couple of times during the night. And does Travis need uninterrupted sleep also? He can get up too. I realize that they’ve already stated that they want a smaller family, but I’m glad Hailey is just fussy enough to reinforce it. Katie and Travis are very lucky to have an unpaid night nurse. This is a luxury most new parents don’t have.

I mean, most people I know had kids late enough that their parents were retired and were able to help out.

Katie posted that she might need to supplement because Hailey wasn't gaining and then never updated.

You can breastfeed and still miss a feeding. Your boobs will be heavier but your body will thank you. 

Travis has been doing all the driving and stuff and taking care of Katie and Hailey. I am not going to shame them for accepting the help they are offered, especially if Hailey is a fussy baby.