Maxwell 38: Forgotten Jesse and the Spinsters Have to Replace the Vests for the Wedding

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I was thinking about why I find this so fascinating is the huge life change all in one fell swoop these fundies have when they get married.  We all have life changes, but for most of us it's more incremental.  We date while still living at home as teenagers.  We can dip our toes into relationships with nights and weekends before moving in or marrying.

I got married too young the first time, so went from home to college to marriage but I'd been to boarding school, lived at college, and no one was monitoing my purity (my dad was a firm believer in don't ask don't tell and I appreciated that.)

But for fundies they go from an incredibly sheltered existance as their parents child and then with some magic words are suddenly in a different sheltered existence as a spouse. 

That would be like plucking me from my boring, suburban life and plopping me down in a cabin on the ice fields of Greenland handing me a manual on how to catch and dehydrate fish and saying "this is who you are now."

Which would be great, and preferable to finding myself with a fundy headship....but I do find the absolutes of their way of living fascinating.  And I think it would be kind of exciting, albeit terrifying, to have such a sudden cataclysmic change.  

 

8 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Oh, I can’t wait for the video. I do hope it’s up before Sarah begins her blog posts. I’m sure Steve doesn’t like that the bride’s families have their own plans & friends, but in truth he can’t do anything about it. They all managed to keep the engagement under wraps, but now-too bad, so sad.

I also noticed in Rachael Craig’s pics that they did an ‘after party’ with the Bons & Bowers’-but the Maxwells drove home. Maxwells are not a social bunch, that’s for sure. Too much fun, I guess. Or a boy might get too close to one of the girls.

Are there any age appropriate single guys in either the Bon or Bower clan for Steve to worry about?

[Giraffe]

Perhaps this is BEC, but why are they "Christopher's children"? Why aren't they "Christopher and Anna's children"?

[fundiefan]

25 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

 

Are there any age appropriate single guys in either the Bon or Bower clan for Steve to worry about?

I have no clue. I’m sure someone else knows ages in those families. For what I said, it was more general. Any boy cooties near Steve’s pure, sheltered daughters is probably to be avoided. If they engage with peers of any age range, they might get ideas. I was honestly really surprised to see that Family Camp picture of Anna & Mary in a circle of mixed company without a brother to hold them accountable. Even though Steve was no doubt there, or at the very least John & we know Jesse was-none were in that circle.

Of course, who truly knows anything about how that all works in Maxhell, but there is enough ‘out there’ for speculation & patterns. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

I have no clue. I’m sure someone else knows ages in those families. For what I said, it was more general. Any boy cooties near Steve’s pure, sheltered daughters is probably to be avoided. If they engage with peers of any age range, they might get ideas. I was honestly really surprised to see that Family Camp picture of Anna & Mary in a circle of mixed company without a brother to hold them accountable. Even though Steve was no doubt there, or at the very least John & we know Jesse was-none were in that circle.

Of course, who truly knows anything about how that all works in Maxhell, but there is enough ‘out there’ for speculation & patterns. 

Denver Bon is 20 And Charlie Bowers is early 20s so they are close enough to Anna’s age. The Craig’s don’t have any adult sons yet.

[FloraKitty35]

At least there appeared to be an adequate amount of food for Gigi's party and Nathan was wearing gloves to hand it out.  

Edited May 30, 2020 by FloraKitty35
added more to post

[Bethy]

2 hours ago, fundiefan said:

I also noticed in Rachael Craig’s pics that they did an ‘after party’ with the Bons & Bowers’-but the Maxwells drove home. Maxwells are not a social bunch, that’s for sure. Too much fun, I guess. Or a boy might get too close to one of the girls.

I can't snark too hard on that. The only lodging that I know of in Cedarville is a small and pricey inn which might not even be open because of Covid. You have to travel probably 20 minutes to the nearest city that would have a hotel, they're pretty strict about occupancy limits (I've been in places where it was a strict "five humans per room" which would mean a room for Steve/Teri/Sarah, one for John's family, Nate and Mel would have to stay in separate rooms and divvy up the kids, and Christopher would have to parcel out a couple to the aunts to stay under occupancy limits.) Six rooms times $150-200 a night for a place that isn't a total roach motel, and the amenities that would mitigate some of the cost (like the all-you-can-eat hot breakfast) probably also don't exist because of Covid. Even if they had Uriah they'd be out of luck with all those humans needing a place to sleep. I don't imagine the Craigs, with their own brood of now-we-only-have-ten-at-home, can house many. Getting housing with folks from the church (IF they're even affiliated with Grace Baptist, and not home churching or nursing-home churching on the regular and just renting the church for the ceremony) might have been a possibility but who's going to open their home to strangers in the middle of a pandemic? I'd have been making tracks for home too if I was them.

[Jigsaw3]

There's a picture of four ushers on Rachael Craig's insta stories, and Joseph isn't one. It looks like he wasn't there? If the original plan was to have him as a groomsman, that would make for even sides. I really hope that nothing is wrong with Elissa and the kids, and they either were evading photographers or chose to stay home for something  reasonable but small. For example, one of my friends was down a groomsman at his wedding due to a kid with a 24-hour gastro thing: unpleasant and meant he couldn't travel, but nothing permanent.

As for no post from the Maxwells, it's possible that they're waiting until designated photographer Christopher returns from his visit to Anna and edits more than the one photo Sarah chose to post earlier.

[CyborgKin]

14 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Hell yes!  Her trading is profitable! She's buying land! She's planting vineyards! She's selling clothes! She's got a wholesale sash business!

With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She's touring the facilities and picking up slack

7 hours ago, Bethy said:

It's hard to say. I've been a bridesmaid and I've been a photographer. I'd take photographer any day. No dress fittings, nobody cares about your hair or makeup, and you get to wear shoes that don't make your toes go numb. You don't have to take stupid pictures where you're jumping in the air or holding your bouquet out at arm's length. And you can smile or not smile - it's up to you.

And you get the be the one to tell everyone else when to smile or perform for stupid jumping pictures

[WineGlass]

15 hours ago, Alisamer said:

But I think he wants "godly young men" for his daughters who will follow his own rules to the letter. And finding one who is willing to follow all those rules and defer to Steve as much as possible, while also buying a home debt-free (preferably within the Maxwell radius) is practically impossible!

This reminds me of Elizabeth Bennet's reply to Mr Darcy's ridiculous requirements of an accomplished woman: "I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any."

This would certainly explain the spinsterhood of the daughters - the GYM for them just does not exist.

[PennySycamore]

@WineGlass,  I totally read that quote of Miss Bennett's in Jennifer Ehle's voice, saying that to Colin Firth as Mr Darcy.  

[Melissa1977]

14 hours ago, Giraffe said:

Perhaps this is BEC, but why are they "Christopher's children"? Why aren't they "Christopher and Anna's children"?

I know Maxwells are extremelly patriarchal, but I think it's normal to call the kids that way, when the father is your relative. My mom always say "Melissa's kids" while my in-laws say "Husbandname's kids". 

[Black Aliss]

18 hours ago, anjulibai said:

It's interesting that Sarah wasn't a bridesmaid. Did she not want to be? 

I really do not like the bows on the bridesmaid dresses. They don't look like they were originally part of the dress, just added using a spool of ribbon from Michael's. Hobby Lobby.

FTFY

14 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

At least there appeared to be an adequate amount of food for Gigi's party and Nathan was wearing gloves to hand it out.  

But no mask! No one was wearing a mask and one of the kids, (Andrew?) was running up to cars to retrieve cards and gifts and bringing them to Gigi. It's like they are trying to kill her.

[JermajestyDuggar]

If I was around the Bontragers at the wedding, a group that seems to refuse to social distance, I too would want to leave the wedding pretty quickly afterwards. 

[Giraffe]

2 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I know Maxwells are extremelly patriarchal, but I think it's normal to call the kids that way, when the father is your relative. My mom always say "Melissa's kids" while my in-laws say "Husbandname's kids". 

That’s a good point. Normally I wouldn’t notice it but she had referred to “Nathan & Melanie’s kids” in the same post. Of course, it could also be as simple as Anna wasn’t there. 

[kpmom]

22 hours ago, fundiefan said:

. They all managed to keep the engagement under wraps, but now-too bad, so sad.

 

Not really though.  FJ knew about it. ?

[IReallyAmHopewell]

 

Where are you finding pictures of Jesse's groomsmen? I really, really, really hope Mary or Anna get to marry. I'm, of course, not holding my breath, but come on Steve! How does it look, Buddy? No daughters marriageable? Sarah is past her sell-by date--she could only deliver 5 to 10 kids at her age. But Anna is perfect marriage age! Make them live in the family compound and she could keep doing _______ [whatever the hell it is she does] for you all.

[fundiefan]

1 hour ago, kpmom said:

Not really though.  FJ knew about it. ?

True. But, the Craig's didn't even talk about it. He managed to keep it quiet within his circle & the bride's family. 

But, he got cocky & updated his "about" to include five married sons and of course, that sent people looking. He's either *that* stupid, or he knew/wanted people to figure it all out. 

Those within his circle kept it quiet. The rest of the world doesn't play by Steveie's rules.

[CyborgKin]

17 hours ago, WineGlass said:

This reminds me of Elizabeth Bennet's reply to Mr Darcy's ridiculous requirements of an accomplished woman: "I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any."

This would certainly explain the spinsterhood of the daughters - the GYM for them just does not exist.

And if they ever realised that and tried seeking someone who didn't fit their parents' impossible mould, well they still wouldn't get any suitors past their parents' watchful eye.  And God forbid (I mean, Stevehovah forbid) that they dare leave their father's protection before they marry!

The Maxmen at least had some amount of autonomy to choose a wife with a little bit of leeway.  Only a little but enough find women who actually exist.

[WineGlass]

On 5/31/2020 at 12:32 AM, PennySycamore said:

@WineGlass,  I totally read that quote of Miss Bennett's in Jennifer Ehle's voice, saying that to Colin Firth as Mr Darcy.  

Elizabeth Garvie to David Rintoul for me!

[desaraeh]

Did anyone notice that Mary has a wrapped ankle and crutches in the Gigi's birthday photos?  I wonder what happened.

Edited June 1, 2020 by desaraeh
spelling

[Giraffe]

2 hours ago, desaraeh said:

Did anyone notice that Mary has a wrapped ankle and crutches in the Gigi's birthday photos?  I wonder what happened.

Which picture? I’m not seeing it. 

[Austrian Atheist]

Maybe it's because I'm not a native speaker but I am confused. A couple of posts ago Sarah avoided the word "single" for herself (because she lives with other people?), now she calls Jesse before wedding "single" despite him also living with others and already being in a relationship with Anna III.

BTW where is he moving? I'm curios.

 

[CyborgKin]

Well there's a new post with whole bunch of new photos with captions.  And it starts off with this gem:

Quote

Some were surprised not to know Jesse was in a relationship. While our family is very public, for the sake of privacy for individual family members, on different relationships, we choose to keep it quiet based on preference. Jesse enjoyed an amazing courtship, and we’ll share more on that later.

On one hand, fair enough.  On the other hand, Steve's preference

 

"Special times" is a really vague caption for a bunch of people sitting in a circle... especially since it's a photo of a single special time.

"Checking out a photo location Friday with the to-be bride and groom" - you can just say 'future' Sarah.  Also, nice contrasting colours on that shirt, it's a real eye-catcher.

[desaraeh]

1 hour ago, Giraffe said:

Which picture? I’m not seeing it. 

3rd picture from the bottom of that post.  She's sitting under a canopy and in the bottom right of the picture.  You have to click on the pic to really see it.

Edited June 1, 2020 by desaraeh

[anjulibai]

That post is very stilted and oddly unemotional. Sarah isn't happy about this.