Bro Gary Hawkins 13: What's the other one, Becky?

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Gary’s little black hat is too small for his big head and it looks ridiculous!! ? ?

[thoughtful]

Gary was live from the truck.

"Good morning from South Ca'olina. Y'all notice it's the S instid o' the N, amen?"

"We are fixin' to go into a restaurant and set down. We haven't been to a restaurant in months, and we're fixin' to go in here and set down and eat at a restaurant."

The "pasture" where they're staying is going to meet them. He's going to the dump, "while we settin' here waitin' on him in the air conditioniner, amen? That's nice of me, innit?" 

The pastor told him that this restaurant never closed  - "they been open the whole tahm."

Becky said, at the beginning, that they were going to Cock-a-doodle-doo. I found a Cock-a-doodle Cafe (no doo) in South Carolina, but it looks like they have been doing take out only.

"Far as the president tellin' us it's OK to go to church, that's a good thing, but God told us to go waaay before President Trump was even born. So, go to church, go to church, go to church."

This was a very short video. I guess Gary saw the pastor drive into the parking lot, and he's way too polite to keep him waiting . . . OK - he's way to eager to "set down" in a restaurant.

Ah, fine dining:

Spoiler

 

 

[Idlewild]

Well as the ‘pasture’ is probably paying, Gary probably has to show some manners. I bet he’s one of those people who gives serving staff the runaround with all different additions and orders and then doesn’t leave a tip.

[Caroline]

On 5/22/2020 at 12:48 PM, thoughtful said:

Gary is back on the road, and back on Facebook. He's happy  - he even has a moment with Rascal when someone comments about the dog's cuteness:

  Reveal hidden contents

After staring at Gary, Rascal does this:

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as if he's checking in with Jacob, which is tempting to mentally caption:

"Am I safe? He's actually acting nice to me, which creeps me out."

or just

"Can you believe this asshole?"

I think that zebra-striped thing is a booster seat for dogs, and the humans are all in seat belts (Gary - that's doing something that is mandated by law, and that experts recommend, to keep oneself and others safe - just like masks and social distancing - so why . . . oh, never mind). And the truck is still parked - he's not doing this on a highway somewhere.

Small mercies.

Lots of tooth-sucking and "'n' ever'thin'" today. And, of course, the tapping. I think the reason we only hear the tapping in the truck is that Gary usually drinks from plastic, but his car mug is metal. He probably always taps as one of his many fidgets.

Gary asks prayers for his mother (Becky has to remind him of when the procedure was done), because she's still having problems with her kidneys, and doesn't want to go on "dallasis."

He asks prayers for "safe travellins," and tells us his travel plans, again.

He greets someone who comments, and prays he is doing well in (I don't know if I can even come up with a spelling for how he says this, but here's an attempt): "Massishooshisss."

That's Massachusetts, in case you couldn't figure it out.

He's giving a sermon now. We need to stand for the Lord - he rambles incoherently about a New Jersey preacher who was on channel 10 news. This story, or something related to it, I imagine:

https://6abc.com/some-nj-churches-to-reopen-in-defiance-of-state-order/6199407/

As angering as it is, I laughed at one quote in that news report (bolding mine):

No wonder Gary admires him.

"Let the Lord Jesus Christ just foller us 'n' take keer of us 'n' supply our every needs, 'n' get all the, y'know, ya listen, hey, if you think you're not gonna have some afflictions and have some a'versaries  uh serving uh God, I'm sorry, yir wrong (tooth suck, sad head shake, tapping). You are tee-totally wrong, uh, 'n' ever'thin', but, uh (more tapping)."

Into the End Times stuff. Maybe Jacob and Becky don't have the same physical needs I do, but I would be asking Gary for a bathroom break already, and they haven't even left the church parking lot. Gary bellows "Hang in there!"

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He just wanted to let ever'body know they were about to leave, and he'd better not be on Facebook travelin'. The video immediately cuts off, comes on again, and now the truck is clearly moving. So much for that.

How come Gary ignores the things that look like clear signs from God?

He complains about the bad Internet (at this place that has housed and fed him for a month), and tells us again that, the Lord's will, the next place will be better, and his videos won't "crackle' 'n' pop 'n' all that good stuff."

"God bless ya! See ya 'til the next time!"

Well, no, you won't  . . . oh, never mind.

Gary, as always:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Does that mean he's eventually on his way to Maine for red weens?  No churches are open in my part of Maine (that I know of), but I'm sure those churches Bro Gary goes to will tempt fate and covid-19 and open just for him.

[thoughtful]

Gary asks:

[Dana723]

Did he say where he was in South Carolina?

[AmazonGrace]

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary asks:

AG answers: It depends.  Gary, if I see Jesus when I look at you Jesus looks pretty idle and useless and given to self- centered, bitter rambling. Is that what Jesus looks like?

Edited May 24, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[grandmadugger]

I hope people see a little bit of Jesus in me. I wear a mask whenever I can’t maintain social distancing. We have also donated almost 600 masks. I hope people see the love of Jesus in our work. He was always helping others. If I think like Gary and Jill then I am right. We’ve been blessed with donations of fabric, stamps, and envelopes for mailing. 
 

So Gary what have you done to be a blessing to others during this time? Who have you helped? Did you shop for your parents since you were at the Walmarts daily? Did you wear a mask to protect those around you? Did you donate to a food bank? Did you support a small business? 

[forgetmenow]

Gotta give Gary a shoutout for all the reminders that liquor stores are still open.  Now I have some wine, beer and hard cider in the fridge.   I hardly ever drink,  but after I found out I could get a no contact pickup, it was too good to pass up!  Thanks, Gary! 

[Seahorse Wrangler]

8 hours ago, grandmadugger said:

I hope people see a little bit of Jesus in me. I wear a mask whenever I can’t maintain social distancing. We have also donated almost 600 masks. I hope people see the love of Jesus in our work. He was always helping others. If I think like Gary and Jill then I am right. We’ve been blessed with donations of fabric, stamps, and envelopes for mailing. 
 

So Gary what have you done to be a blessing to others during this time? Who have you helped? Did you shop for your parents since you were at the Walmarts daily? Did you wear a mask to protect those around you? Did you donate to a food bank? Did you support a small business? 

Thank you for the donations.

we know Gary supports small business like Paparazzi, Tupperwear and the toothpasta thing.

 

[keepercjr]

Gary is live right now.  Not watching but snapped this screenshot.  I feel like I am seeing people who will end up dead sooner rather than later.  They aren’t even pretending to Social distance...as he screams and spittles on them all.   
 

[thoughtful]

Rodney Crosby, that paragon of wit, posted on Gary's Facebook:

Off to watch the video  - I'll be back!

[Idlewild]

1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

Gary is live right now.  Not watching but snapped this screenshot.  I feel like I am seeing people who will end up dead sooner rather than later.  They aren’t even pretending to Social distance...as he screams and spittles on them all.   
 

Some of them look like senior citizens too...my best friend, who is 61, has spent 3 weeks gasping for air due to Covid- she is just coming out of it and is utterly wrecked. She said older people don’t stand a chance. 

[Carol]

I'd like to think that people look at me and see Jesus's twin sister, separated at birth.  Smack talkin', shit stirrin', rule breakin', love making'(I sense another song here) real human being with a big heart and a love of laughter.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Carol

[grandmadugger]

4 hours ago, Seahorse Wrangler said:

Thank you for the donations.

we know Gary supports small business like Paparazzi, Tupperwear and the toothpasta thing.

 

It’s what I can do to help. 
 

Gary only supports things that pay him. I should have known. 

[zeebaneighba]

20 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary asks:

T

I read that as one sentence, not a signature :

"You might want to think before you answer, Bro Gary Hawkins!"

[thoughtful]

I had written up most of the video, and somehow lost it all. I don't know if I have the patience to do it all again, but will try to find the highlights that aren't repeats of things we've heard a million times, and add the peculiarities of GLIB (yes, that's their acronym!).

This post is brought to you by the color green.

Pastor Joe Pridgen is soft-spoken, and thinks he's funny. He and the congregation talk about Memorial Day, and I can't hear details. He has them rise, and tells them that the piano player has been "playing hooky" (maybe staying home, like we are all supposed to?), and they haven't had a chance to  plan much, so they should blame him, not her, if they seem unprepared.

They sing The Battle Hymn of the Republic, too fast for anyone (including Gary) who doesn't have the verses memorized to read them. But they all belt out the chorus.

Pastor Joe prays and yaks for a long time while they are still standing. One woman rocks from side to side constantly, and I wonder if she's developed that technique for surviving Pastor Joe's between-hymn rambles.

The pastor tells them to remain standing ("you'll be sittin' down for a while"), and springs a surprise hymn on the pianist. She turns to it in the hymnal, says she doesn't know it but will follow him, by which I know she means the tempo. But he also doesn't wait for a starting pitch, and so they go through the entire hymn in several keys simultaneously. It's  a defensive, KJV-only one - http://ehymnbook.org/CMMS/hymnSong.php?id=pd01082

He says he will not subject them to any more of the "terrorism" of his singing, and lets them sit - they've been up for 10 minutes.

He announces an upcoming pastors' fellowship (on April 9 - nobody catches it, but he does say June 9 later), in North Carolina. He says anyone is welcome to come along, because "you can't get too much of God's word." "You can get too much watermelon, but you can't get too much of God's word." He repeats the same formula for hog jowls and collard greens with jalapeno peppers.

Gary comes up and says it's good to be in the house of the Lord. He's excited about being back on the road. He mis-reads much of 1 John 4:11-21 after cracking some weak jokes about how long he's going to preach and telling a story about substituting for a preacher up in Maine who had a migraine, that bears no relevance whatsoever. Gary, I already did a "Rain in Spain" parody about you - don't tempt me to another.

Some congregants try to read along with him, but most give up as Gary mispronounces, skips, add, and substitutes words.

Before he got borned again, Gary hated people.

He goes to a new reading (already!) - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+4%3A1-12&version=KJV

Even more mispronunciations and made up words; "for it was now eventide" comes out "for there was no evening - no events." And "the good deed done to the impotent man" becomes "the good deeds done in the important man."

"Buddha and Allah (I swear he says "olive") are in Hell because they rejected Jesus Christ."

Um, Gary - Allah is not the name of a person, it's just another name for  - oh, never mind.

He skips around to several readings. Gary gets into his bellowing, singing, hissing mode, and this congregation is his kind of audience - they yell right back at him. He "runs a quick commercial" to tell them that they have a good opportunity to do right by God here, ending with his "good preaching right there even if I am doin' it."

You can't get saved by confessin' - we get to hear the rest of this saying: "The po- the do- the Pope is fulla dope, so he ain't gonna give you no hope."

"As the Bible says the grass is greener on the other side" No, Gary - that's not from the Bible. "And that side's Jesus, hey." Gary quotes the 23rd Psalm, which, since I am so used to hearing "pasture" from him and knowing he means "pastor" calls up some interesting images.

I will leave you to your own thoughts of green alien clergy, and Gary lying down in them. Maybe it has something to do with olives, and deeds done in important men.

At the restaurant last night (so, at least two restaurants were visited yesterday), Gary told "the lady" that there was something in the food that made him swell up (I think it was supposed to be a weight-gain joke). "That's feedin' that fleshly. We ought to be swellin' up with Jesusss, amen."

Gary, you're a poet.

If you're saved, you'll want to talk about Jesus - all the time, to everyone you meet. Brother Pridgen reminds Gary of Oliver B. Greene (Gary pronounces his first name "Olive," which gives me some confusion about Allah).

"If you gonna hang 'round people, just hang on  - THEY GONNA HURT YOU!" That's been going on "since Adam and Eve messed up at the Garden." The "at" instead of "in" makes me picture  "Madison Square," rather than "of Eden." Did Adam and Eve lose a hockey game?

Gary tells us he got his start preaching in nursing homes. Wouldn't you love to see a double bill of Gary and Steve Maxwell?

Gary preaches only from Scriptures - preachers' opinions mean nothing. ? He admits he "runs rabbits" sometimes, but Becky tells him when he does. He imitates her doing so, in a very low-pitched voice, for some reason.

If you ever get a man who stands up for God, you got to back him up (he rattles off "you ain't paid me enough yet. You don't pay me enough, I won't ever come back, amen." I guess he's trying to be funny).

The old-time preachers would tell you "the door swings both ways, don't let it hit you behind." Did they all preach in old-timey saloons or restaurant kitchens?

He zooms through mentioning that the place they were just staying provided 'lectricity and a few groceries, and that he thanks God for all that stuff. But he hopes that they aren't now thinking that Gary was a "bum" who "didn't wanna do nothin'." Because he was willing to go door-knockin' but they couldn't because of Corona. "You say why? 'Cause we'da had the law called on us amen."

He tells them they should get a soul-winning group together to knock on doors. They should get behind Brother Pridgen, even if he wants to spend $300,000 on a new church building. Up to full screaming mode for a "WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!" Conway needs a Bible-believin' Fundamentalist, Baptist Church (quietly: "Yes, ah know ah left the 'Independent' off - it's a little funny, isn't it?").

He talks about the death of Becky's grandmother (and if some of her relatives see this on Facebook, he really don't give a flip). "The SAME DAY that mah wife's grandmother died, the one that played the Bandit . . . Huh? . . . Burt Reynolds. Now I wanna say somethin' to ya - I don't know where Burt Reynolds is, but Burt Reynolds knows where he's at. But ah wanna tell ya, I have watched some of the stuff he's  - movies he's made, his testimony wasn't too good, amen?"

But one of the family members put "on there" (Facebook, I guess), that Becky's grandmother was "ridin' with the Bandit in his car." Several "Mmmmms" from the congregation. And Gary's pretty sure that she had a good testimony.

Gary has told his children that, if he ever has to speak at one of their funerals, (yelling and pointing) "an' they didn't act like it, an' they didn't show it, I wouldn't - I don't give a flip if ah made the WHOLE WORLD mad, I was not going to lie for anyone."

"I wouldn't want nobody to say that Gary Hawkins was ridin' with one of the famous movie stars, when he int."

Oh, I guess he was back to Burt Reynolds.

He keeps sayin' "I'm tryin' to quit" but keeps talking.

"When I do wrong, GOD BEATS THE SNOT OUTTA ME!"

His wife likes to talk about Tupperware - she told Miss Betty she was married to that stuff. Gary doesn't know what it's for, so you'll have to ask the ladies. "You don't eat it - I done figured that one out real quick-like, amen."

Being saved is like when a woman is pregnant - after a while, you just know.

"I am a nut - I'm just screwed over right."

He tells the "laundrymat" story again - this time he says she told him "Even before you started talking about me to God, I knew there was something in you."

I think you switched something around there, Gary.

He repeats the tadpole bit, but this time he names some bodies of water in which he was baptized, and adds fish and sharks to the creatures that know his SSN. "But, the last time ah got baptized, ah dropped my

Spoiler

religion"  (were you hoping for "pants?")

"and got salvation."

 

Edited May 24, 2020 by thoughtful
riffles, clarity

[thoughtful]

Sunday evening service at GLIB - Pastor Pridgen jokes that he has a bucket in the back because it was raining cats and dogs and a fish came with it. He says the downpour reminded him of Uganda in the rainy season.

He urges them to take brochures from someone who is planning a mission trip to Israel next year, and prayer cards from Gary, which will be over by the hand sanitizer. It's hard to be an evangelist when you can't get into churches.

There's a general sense of both Gary and Pridgen wanting things from the congregants tonight.

He announces a hymn, the pianist starts, and then he start talking again! Eventually they get together, and sing  https://library.timelesstruths.org/music/Glory_to_His_Name/ , which really revels in the image of being washed in the blood of Jesus.

While they're standing, he talks. We are like Bibles, and people need to see God when they read us. He asks someone to pray, and that keeps them on their feet a while longer.

Pridgen asks them to sit (whew!), preaches, makes some announcements, gets into a metaphor of a pole vaulter (we must raise the bar), and a story about ending up in Oklahoma City (which he thought was the "armpit of America)" to teach Arabic to missionaries. He'd been asked to do so, refused, and then ended up there because his daughter said she'd be there for a flight layover and never came, and decided it was a sign from God. He quotes Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay. He asks everyone to take a deep breath - twice. If you're alive, you can do work for God.

If he had his way, he'd go to Uganda, East Africa and stay there until he dies.

They sing Nothing But the Blood. He reminds them to give to the tithe and offering baskets. He plays a track on a tape, by Jan McDonald of Eufala (it sounded like Ebola until I figured it out) Oklahoma. The song is old-fashioned Country-Western in style, and chock-full of typical Baptist lyrics, but I couldn't find it online. I wonder if Pastor Joe knows that she died recently, and, yeah, things being what they are, I can't help wondering what she died of.

He turns things over to Gary, saying that, after Gary tells them what God has laid on his heart, then they'll "finish up in a few minutes."

Yeah, right.

Gary keeps repeating their church and town name - he did the same in the morning. Basic sleazy lounge singer/comic habit - get applause by mentioning local stuff.

He does his "we need to get back to runnin' buses, when Coreena/Corona is done" schtick, tells them how well (excuse me - good) they're doing, supporting six missionaries. "Next year it'll be twelve." People get a little bit nervous when you talk about money, but "I just wanna let you know that ain't your money in your wallet, or your bank HAYMEN! Good preachin', if I am doin' it. I don't know where I'm goin', I'm followin' God, is that OK?"

I know where you're going, you slimeball - you want to be on their missionary list. Or maybe you're angling for some other position . . .

Gary gets visions. His Daddy was a church planner, and Gary knows all about church-plannin'. With God, nothing is "unpossible."

Gary's got a heart for them - he'd love to see his gospel tent set up there - not for him, but to see someone get saved. He tells the supportive cop story from Florida, the people are afraid to come into church crap, and the almost-a-teenager who got saved routine.

"A saved person will hurt you - a Christian won't."

He just wants to be in a Bible-believin' church. "We take that 'independent' and we'll just throw it in the trash. And we'll take that 'fundamental' because most-times it's 'funny-mental' AMEN and just be Bible-believers."

"You know how to keep from gittin' whuppins? I don't think I ever learned it. And some of my children did and some of 'em didn't."

He tells them that, if the Coronavirus stays around, they'll need a much bigger church, and does his imitating-stupid-people voice to say they have to stay six feet apart and "don't touch me, you might have a coronavahris."

If you're gonna go to Walmarts, etc., you don't know what anybody did to that cheeseburger, etc., in Bible days they went to services everyday, so don't complain about church four times a week, etc.

Some people complain that God hasn't come back yet, and (stupid-person voice again) "well if He don't come on pretty quick, He's gonna have to apologize to these Sodomites 'round here. Lemme jus' let you know something, God ain't gonna 'pologize to nobody."

He starts another sentence, and someone bellows out "Yea, He does His will!" so loudly that it takes Gary a bit by surprise (turnabout is fair play, Gary!) but he recovers with a "HAYMAYUN!"

"He burnt Sodom and GUHmorrah right on time. And America will be gone, right on time."

They laughed and made fun of Noah, honey.

Gary says neighbors watch to see if your car doesn't move on a Sunday. "I'm not talking about Coronavahris, but be very careful about cancelling your services, because that's when somebody's gonna come."

Gary's afraid to go to the hospital. Becky had to go to one for a doctor's appointment right before they left North Carolina, and Gary had to use the restroom (ah, another inspiring Gary subject). When they told him that they would need to take his temperature and ask him some questions, and that he'd need to wear a mask, he said "I'm not innerested - I'll just pee out here in the hall - out here in the driveway (unintelligible), amen. I'm a - I'm a - I'm a - man. HAYMEN! I didn't do that, I waited  'til the gas station (unintelligible). But if I'd hadda went bad enough, I'da done it, prob'ly wouldn'ta bothered me!"

Back to being serious - Gary's afraid of the hospital, because that's where you get the stuff.

There's an 84-year-old lady who wants to be there, but her son won't let her. Now, Gary's not downplaying the vahris. He claims that, after he left Florida, he quarantined himself away from his family for two weeks to protect his mother, because she'd just gotten out of the hospital.

Walmarts-where-they're-not-six-foot-apart again, governor of Virginia in a huddle, but we can't have church? Gary says he's always told people to stay home from church if they're sick - that's common sense. "I'm not sure people have common sense any more. (sniff)."

"I don't know what you think about Donald Trump, and if you don't like him don't tell me, I don't like you amen." Gary goes on to praise Trump for being a good businessman, not taking his paycheck,  doing a good job during the Coronavahris, and never mentioning the upcoming election, because he keers about America.

Hook, line and sinker.

He repeats his conspiracy theory about Joe Biden not being the next president if the Democrats win, and "you can (not sure - poke?) church down the road."

"Ah'm homeschoolin' my boys - my boy." Liar - Becky does it all. He says that'll go next. He has to fight to continue homeschooling because Jacob's got another five years - well, three, because they don't fight with you after 16.

High goals you have for your kids, Gary.

But he hasn't mentioned anyone for you to vote for, other than your children and your Christianity. Way to protect that tax-free status, Gary.

If you like socialism, Gary will take up a collection and send you to "some countries is already in that, and you can live over there."

"I don't like socialism - yesterday was the first time  in six or seven weeks that I got to go to a restaurant and sit down and eat in it."

Yes, Gary - all that socialism means is that you don't get to eat in a restaurant. Fight the good fight.

Gary's way of saying that each person is an individual is to say that, if the women got together and talked about how to cook a dish, they'd each have a different way of doing it, and each of the men would "mechanic" different from one another.

His point to mentioning that we are so wildly divergent? "Don't let the Devil put some kinda wedge in you to destroy the ministry."

We need to be reproved and rebuked sometimes. "We need to God to get a holt o' us and get  that chainsaw out and just trim us up once in a while."

Great, now we're hedges.

Your chicken bog recipe doesn't have to be just like someone else's. If you can get the doctrine right, "PHOOEY ON THE REST OF THAT JUNK!"

People tell him "Brother Hawkins, you've said some things that I would never say, and ah say 'yeah, that's why God called me an' not you, amen - I had the guts to say it.'"

He tells us how he "called a girl up one time" - he'd led her to God, and called to tell her that he'd heard she was doin' wrong, and that made him think she was not saved. He called her up because God told him to. Now she's living deeper in sin, because she didn't listen to him.

He's got family members who want him to get out of the ministry. But he stays in, because he wants to see his enemies get saved.

He says "I didn't get excited and jump around like a monkey tonight."

Pastor Pridgen comes up and tells us about "one of the most depressing songs he ever heard," Playing Games at the Foot of the Cross. He never wants God to look down and ask why he is playing games at the foot of the cross, but the Devil has a way of putting us on the sidelines.

He tells us the whole history of his bus route programs, and how God can do anything, if we give enough of ourselves. I won't bore you with it, but will mention that one of them started with "about 12 little snotty-nosed kids."

He has them sing Is Your All on the Altar, and insists it be a cappella so they can concentrate on the words.

He says some people get stirred by preaching, but don't follow through. He asks that people not just be stirred, but changed. He asks that God take us further than being stirred.

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

Edited May 25, 2020 by thoughtful

[Idlewild]

@thoughtful thank you as ever for listening through this rubbish.

So he’ll quarantine to protect his mother but won’t take a few sensible precautions to protect everyone in a hospital- that place where sick and vulnerable people are? He really is despicable. If people give money after listening to that then more fool them. 

I love the way socialism = Gary not being able to stuff his face in a restaurant!

[AmazonGrace]

You think "maybe you should get out of ministry" is a nice way of saying, "maybe some lazy grifters should get a job and stop taking advantage of us"? 

[AmazonGrace]

Gary was online while driving again, to say nothing. 

Why can't such a bone idle specimen find the time to rant on Facebook while not endangering traffic?

[thoughtful]

56 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Gary was online while driving again, to say nothing.

As he starts, Becky says something that is partly drowned out by Gary's greeting, but ends with "while you're driving?" Gary says "What?" She repeats it (I still can't hear the beginning due to the truck noise, but it's hard not to imagine that she is asking if he should be doing that while he's driving).

He ignores her, and goes right on.

"Yesterday, I seen God really startin' to do somethin' in this church."

He goes on about the growth of this "church plant."

"Got to go to two set-down restaurantsss, um . . . Sat'dy, amen, and, uh, so, but uh."

Now, @AmazonGrace, how could you call those deep thoughts "nothing?"

You must be a reptobate who refuses to do good deeds in an important man.

Don't make God get out the chain saw.

Good postin', even if I am doin' it.

Edited May 25, 2020 by thoughtful
riffle of Satan!

[Xan]

9 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary keeps repeating their church and town name - he did the same in the morning. Basic sleazy lounge singer/comic habit - get applause by mentioning local stuff.

He's getting his routine down pat.  Sleazy lounge act/call and respond preacher routine.  I'm thankful that you do these recaps, thoughtful, because listening to Gar preach is getting harder for me.  Particularly, I despise the way he puts his hand up by his ear to cue the people that they need to call back to him.  "Amen?"  Stuff it, Gar.  If you can't do this on your own, you ought not to be preaching.

I looked up the church.  It's a little storefront "church" in a tiny strip mall.  Gary mentions that there were 18 people for the morning service and 14 for the evening service and that the church was started 6 years ago.  He encourages them not to give up.  Why, Gary?  If the best they can do after 6 years is 18 people, maybe giving up and going to an established church instead is the best option.  Then again, those big established churches don't bring Gary in to preach and then take him out to eat.  (And, I assume that Becky and Jacob were part of that group so only 16 actual church members were there.)

Gary mentions that he's 47 and that he's been preaching for almost 21 years.  I'm stunned.  I figured he was older and, as terrible as he is, I didn't have any idea that he'd been preaching that long.  

Gary's started adding a lot of "Am I making sense?" into his sermons.  I suppose it's another device to get people to shout back at him.  From this safe distance, I can say "No, Gary.  You're not making any sense at all."

[wallysmommy]

@thoughtful You forgot the HAYMUN at the end of "good postin', even if I am doin' it."  Or maybe a loud "Rufus Bless."

[thoughtful]

8 hours ago, Idlewild said:

So he’ll quarantine to protect his mother

The fact that Gary didn't mention that until now makes me wonder if his mother or some other family member told him to stay away.

Because, after the usual "just a sinner saved by grace, it's not about me" bullshit disclaimers, Gary always makes sure that we know about all of the good deeds he did, or was willing to do until  somebody stopped him because of CreenaCorona. He was desperate to go out door-knocking, after all.

So, if that happened, maybe he didn't think to re-frame it as his good deed until recently.