Bro Gary Hawkins 13: What's the other one, Becky?

[AmazonGrace]

If we could listen to the Hawkins family singing backwards, what kind of messages would be there?

[jjmennonite]

I don't really follow Gary but I pop in here once in a while. Great job @thoughtful but may we have the dog back, pretty please. Gary's video production skills shine as brightly as his speaking and grammar skills. Obviously that wall and sky were meant for dog. Why else would you angle the camera to use only the bottom half of the screen? Now all the other screen shots just look like they are missing the dog. 

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

If we could listen to the Hawkins family singing backwards, what kind of messages would be there?

Maybe they'd miraculously be in tune, and Gary would be pronouncing words correctly!

Nah, not even Satan could manage that.

1 hour ago, jjmennonite said:

Obviously that wall and sky were meant for dog. Why else would you angle the camera to use only the bottom half of the screen?

I know - I wish she'd come back and visit again before Gary leaves - maybe bring the puppies.

I'm so glad you noticed Gary's being as oblivious visually as he is aurally and mentally. Every now and then, I consider cropping out the top with all of that wasted space. But then I think "no, why shouldn't FJ get the full effect of Gary's flair for  making himself look like he's sitting in a hole?"

 

[wallysmommy]

Instead of singing backwards, maybe spelling backwards and Gary's friend really means he's had too many desserts instead of stressed and that's affecting his diabetes.

Thank you for the recaps.  I guess I've been around too many Bro Gary types in my lifetime (a scary thought) that I just can't do him daily. 

[thoughtful]

Spoiler

We find out later that he's drinking "a shake." I wonder if it's some sort of diet shake.

"Good mornin' from North Ca'olina." Gary says he saw something on Facebook about calling this month May because "it may be 70, it may be 30, it may . . . " You get the idea.

After an "and uh, ever'thin', but uh" he suddenly leaps up and whirls around, looking very alarmed:

Spoiler

He sits back down, mumbling "Sorry 'bout that, somebody was comin' up there, didn't know who it was."

I would love to know why that scares him so much.

"Lotta things goin' bad in this world amen so, uh, but, uh."

Lots of the usual about who's having church in a building, he hates the vahris, but he's been "watchin'  video after video, things sent to me, researchin', and this is uh . . . matter fact, ah'll tell ya what ah heard today."

What he's heard is that, now that Georgia and Florida "has opened up, this vahris is diminishing. Not as many people is catchin' it."

And now, Gary imparts his vast medical knowledge. Ready?

"Ah just hope we have not set inside, which - (chuckles) ah haven't set inside (chuckles) ah ain't had time to set inside, we been goin' wide open. But I'm just hopin' that people that have set inside, I hope they haven't set in there so long that their 'mune system have shut down and it won't open back up. Ah heard a doctor say that whenever your immune system shuts down, it's hard to git it back started. "

I'm sure that makes sense to Gary - isn't an immune system just like a truck?

He continues, waving his arm in big circles:

"Your immune system has to - wha-wha-what your immune system works on is what works in the part of keeping, uh, keeping it going 'n' functioning 'n' working is fightin' off vahrises. When it shuts down - (pause for the "just sayin' face")  - bad stuff. 'N' that's mah understandin'. Mah wife used to be a nurse, and she tell - y'know, 'n' these mask, wearin' these mask - they're not helping like ever'body thinks, matter fact ah can't wear a mask. If ah put on a mask, ah'd die in a heartbeat, I mean, I just cain't,  I cain't breathe good enough without a mask much less put one 'em things on, uh no tellin' what it do to me. 'N' ah unnerstan' some of it's because ah'm fat, but that's mah problem, 'n y'know, but uh (snort, cough)."

And so, by both explanation and demonstration, Gary gives us a medical education.

Many inarticulate sentence fragments later, Gary says that what the government is doing with this vahris is like when God sent Moses to Fay-row. More sentence fragments about how "Ron Beatty 'n 'em," "CLA, David Gibbs" was down at Raleigh yesterday, "done a big thang," and then the governor "gets on there and makes a big statement aginst the religious right." Gary makes his pissy face. "He's bein' like Fay-row, he's hardened his heart, 'n' God's prob'ly hardened his heart, so, y'know."

Now, don't you feel as educated about politics and the book of Exodus as you are about medicine? Don't thank me - thank Brother Gary!

We get a long riff of familiar Garyisms, then:

"I been warshing mah hands since ah was a baby. Still today, warshin' mah hands."

He assures us that when he and Becky come out of (say it with me) Walmarts, she squirts his hands with sanitizer. "I ought to have the cleanest hands in America, amen."

Some sentence fragments about letting the government take away the rights our forefathers fought for follow, then "I wanna tell ya, and ya ever heard that expression, 'n' I unnerstand this cain't be true, but ya ever heard that sayin',  if they could turn in  their graves, they could puke their guts out because of what this generation is doing now?"

No, Gary, I've never heard that exact expression. But I feel further educated about medical science - glad to know that the dead can neither turn in their graves nor puke their guts out, but, if they could do one, they could do the other. Interesting - was there a control group for this experiment?

Gary has never coughed or spit in people's faces.

After the usual riff about how people are still going to (insert names of stores and fast food places here), he tells us about the guy at Taco Bell who was licking the taco shells. Gary's not going back to Taco Bell (he reminisces about how the Mexican food in Texas was better anyway).

Again, Gary, the fact that other people are being assholes does not mean that all cautionary measures are bad. And avoiding Taco Bell does not automatically make you safe.

Well, virus aside, avoiding Taco Bell for one's health may be a good plan, but I digress.

In his continuing rant to prove that he's not against keeping clean, Gary seems to be talking about toilets, although he doesn't make that clear. "Hey, listen, hey, wipe yer seats down, put yer seats down, Clorox 'em down, wipe it up real good."

Gary knows people who think there's no virus, but he won't go that far (oh, Gary, you're so moderate and sensible).

He seen a video of a man cryin' over his music bid'ness.

Gary says he's not God, he's just givin' you some "incouragin' words." Gary always triggers a Home on the Range earworm for me when he says that.

He freezes and appears to be reading. This message from the usually-ignored Sarah Anne had appeared about a minute earlier, and is the only long one.

Spoiler

Gary chuckles and says "That's the way it is," but I don't know for sure if he was answering her. He does go into his crap about people fighting and throwing stones again, so I think it's likely.

I suspect that the person who criticized Sarah Anne was of Gary's ilk, considering that she's the pro-mask lady.

Jacob Kim (who I think Gary adores, because he is an exotic foreigner but has an easy name to read and pronounce) posts "Watching from South Korea" and Gary says "Amen, Brother Kim - Jacob Kim, from South Africa - South Korea."

He mumbles about what he's heard about various countries, and ends with some shouting preacher-rant.

Spoiler

Praise be to. . . the . . . LAMB!

Gary:

Spoiler

 

[jjmennonite]

He's drinking boy Plexus. A manly man may eat pink gravy and weens, but Jill has arranged for Plexus to make ' that which pertaineth to a man'. It's kinda obvious why she's keeping this a secret. 

[Alisamer]

51 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

  Reveal hidden contents

We find out later that he's drinking "a shake." I wonder if it's some sort of diet shake.

"Good mornin' from North Ca'olina." Gary says he saw something on Facebook about calling this month May because "it may be 70, it may be 30, it may . . . " You get the idea.

After an "and uh, ever'thin', 

I'm going to hold my nose and be OK with Gary's bit about May - I'm also in NC, and this week I've had my electric blanket on one night, and the air conditioner on the very next night. 

I am really curious about where the "and everything" comes from, because just in the last year and a half both my parents have started saying that constantly, as filler words. My mom also a few years ago started listening to a gospel music radio station in her car all the time. I wonder if somebody on there says that and she and Gary both picked it up from there?

Thankfully mom doesn't complain much if we change the radio station when riding with her - as long as it's pop music rather than rap or metal, and not turned up too loud, she's OK with it.

 

Gary needs to only talk about things he actually KNOWS. Like weens & gravy. Leave the science info to scientists. Or at least educated people.

[thoughtful]

It's a miracle!

Spoiler

Everything is spelled correctly! Next time, maybe the punctuation will be right as well.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good, um, 'n' ever'thin.

 

[Ozlsn]

11 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

If we could listen to the Hawkins family singing backwards, what kind of messages would be there?

"Get a job, na na na na, nananana nah!"

 

Edited May 15, 2020 by Ozlsn

[thoughtful]

Another practice session in the church basement tonight. We see Becky from a great distance, and hear her playing and singing This Blessed Old Book. She has almost got it, but stumbles on some chord changes.

When she finishes, we hear Gary tell her "Do it agin."

She does, while Gary makes all kinds of rustling, clicking, coughing, sniffing noises. Jacob, who I think is hidden on the other side of Becky, tries to sing along on one chorus.

After the second time through, Gary says "Like that. All right, folks, she's done."

Gary, what was the point of this? Becky clearly needs more practice on this one, and you were no help. So why go live on Facebook? Just wanted to feed your addiction, and it's too dark outdoors?

 

 

[keepercjr]

Gary’s daughter got married on Thursday.  Gary’s dad officiated the service (outdoors in a park).  She has only known this guy since this year and now they are married.  I hope she isn’t making a huge mistake.  I know she is older (19 maybe?’  Can’t remember) but she looks about 11 years old.  Older son Caleb has a girlfriend and she went with Caleb to the wedding.  In more daughter news, she visited her mother and little brother this month, which was so nice to see.  I get the impression (no direct evidence) that Gary has kept the kids from her.  No mention of Caleb visiting her too.  I hope their relationship continues to improve.

[thoughtful]

Thanks, @keepercjr

I sure hope Gary changed out of the yellow plaid shirt he wore for his Thursday AM video before the wedding. It explains the timing of the major haircut and beard-scaping Becky gave him on Wednesday.

Interesting that this major life event happened, and Gary never mentioned it in his live videos or sermons - seems it should be more on his mind than the truck repairs and "Walmarts." I have a hard time imagining it was discretion - I don't think Gary knows how to do that.

It may have been why relatives who go to the "false gospel" church were on his mind that morning. In any case, I'm glad he hasn't talked about it.

[keepercjr]

Well here he is.  He couldn’t even be bothered to take the crap out of his shirt pocket for the wedding.

 

He also didn’t take out his ear piece for his phone!

 

[AmazonGrace]

Oi she looks very young.

[Idlewild]

She does look very young. Gary really doesn’t see the point in making an effort for anybody, does he? He doesn’t properly prepare sermons or Facebook posts and cant be bothered to look smart for his daughter’s wedding. 

I hope she finds happiness and love in her marriage- being offspring of Gary cannot be easy.

[thoughtful]

And doesn't he look proud and happy! /s

I know, he might have valid reasons, even reasons we'd agree with, for concern, or to be tense among estranged family.

But this is Gary we're talking about, so it's hard not to imagine that he's just being pissy because he's not the center of attention, not the officiant, somebody said something about Jesussss that didn't come from the KJV, or some other pissy Gary reason.

And now I have to pee - I wonder why? ?

[AmazonGrace]

She's trying to hold on to his arm and he's got hands in his pocket.

[MayMay1123]

She looks like an elementary school child! At least g-hawk showed up...

[ignorantobserver]

Well, she does look very young, but mostly very innocent and sweet. I also like her dress - it's cute, adorably childish and looks like they didn't spend a fortune on it, which is very reasonable for such a young couple. I agree that nineteen is very young to get married, but that doesn't have to mean anything.

I mostly worry that her taste in men might be messed up because of her father. Hopefully, her husband doesn't resemble him...

[griffin]

keepercjr, you're KILLING me! How did you know all this??  I'm so impressed. Bro didn't do his daily toothsucking or screechfest video today so I thought I wasn't going to get my fix.

[thoughtful]

58 minutes ago, griffin said:

Bro didn't do his daily toothsucking or screechfest video today

Well, we know he wouldn't miss church. So, if he was at Promise Baptist, the Church of Daddy, or a new place, he didn't go live with it (probably wasn't featured as musician or speaker, and I use both terms loosely).

Maybe the Sunday evening service will be captured for posterity.

ETA - why, it's as if he heard me say it:

Edited May 17, 2020 by thoughtful

[wallysmommy]

Being the sneaky snooper that I am, I looked at the daughter's FB page and saw a pic with mom.  It was taken in my neck of the woods!  Oh, my.  Six degrees of separation from Bro. Gary.

The other six degrees may be that Becky went to HS with one of my cousin's kids since they're from around the Glenville, WV area.

Edited May 17, 2020 by wallysmommy

[Ozlsn]

My guess is that Gary's passively-aggressively punishing her for having left, for getting back in contact with her mother, for not allowing him to choose her husband, for not following his exact One True Faith, etc. I sincerely hope she has found a good man, and that her relationship with her father develops on her terms.

Edited May 17, 2020 by Ozlsn
Verb

[Xan]

The expression on his face makes me want to reach through the screen and slap him.  He just couldn't behave himself, could he?  I guess Becky and his dad made him go.  But he didn't get to be the center of attention.  He didn't get to deliver a sermon.  And they're outside.  He didn't even get to talk about being in a church.  There he is in his cowboy hat with his hands in his pockets.  Your daughter is getting married, fool.  Act like you have some affection for her, at least.

Nah.  This is Gary.  Gary only cares about Gary.

[thoughtful]

Gary will be celebratin':

https://www.christianpost.com/news/nc-judge-sides-with-churches-blocks-gov-coopers-restrictions-on-indoor-services.html

Quote

A federal judge in North Carolina issued an order Saturday to allow indoor worship services, blocking Democratic Gov. Roy Cooper’s enforcement of restrictions on churches during the coronavirus pandemic.

“The record, at this admittedly early stage of the case, reveals that the Governor appears to trust citizens to perform non-religious activities indoors (such as shopping or working or selling merchandise) but does not trust them to do the same when they worship together indoors,” stated Judge James C. Dever III.

Hey, your honor - watch the videos from Promise Baptist and the Church of Daddy - they all seem to snuggle up pretty close.