Alyssa & John 5: She's Raising Fashion Conscious Girls

[Mrs Ms]

40 minutes ago, freethemall said:

Thered be more because we know Whitney had 1, and Erin had several.

I actually was thinking it was an announcement too, only because 1. Alyssa is due for one and 2. Itd be a fun/new way to announce.

I thought one empty one to represent them all. 

[FluffySnowball]

I actually have something positive to say about Alyssa for once. But seriously, when I saw on her Instagram account that three of her brothers are staying with her for a visit, I found this quite positive. They aren’t so small they’re sent over so she can babysit them. Instead, it seems they all just genuinely want to spend time together. It’s great Alyssa doesn’t just spend #girlstime or is doing #girlythings with her little sisters, but seems to get on well with her brothers, too. It’s sad the  Duggars seem to have stunted such connections - likely as a result of what Josh did as a teen. 

[CarrotCake]

I have the feeling Alyssa is way closer with her brothers than her sisters. They are coming over quite a lot while Katie I think only came when Alyssa was in the hospital. 

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, FluffySnowball said:

I actually have something positive to say about Alyssa for once. But seriously, when I saw on her Instagram account that three of her brothers are staying with her for a visit, I found this quite positive. They aren’t so small they’re sent over so she can babysit them. Instead, it seems they all just genuinely want to spend time together. It’s great Alyssa doesn’t just spend #girlstime or is doing #girlythings with her little sisters, but seems to get on well with her brothers, too. It’s sad the  Duggars seem to have stunted such connections - likely as a result of what Josh did as a teen. 

She loves those boys and they visit often. The young girls don't. Alyssa is not close to her young sisters, and in fact those poor girls are ignored by most of the family. 

[HermioneSparrow]

5 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

She loves those boys and they visit often. The young girls don't. Alyssa is not close to her young sisters, and in fact those poor girls are ignored by most of the family. 

Michaela seems to spend time with the little girls.

[FluffySnowball]

7 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

She loves those boys and they visit often. The young girls don't. Alyssa is not close to her young sisters, and in fact those poor girls are ignored by most of the family. 

While I agree with you that the younger girls seem almost forgotten, I don’t think it’s Alyssa’s job to balance out her parents’ mistakes. She has her own children to rise and if her connection to some of her siblings are are closer than to others, so be it... In fact, with 18 siblings, this is just natural and it’s Kelly and Gil’s Job to make sure none of their children feels forgotten, left out, or otherwise overlooked. 

[neuroticcat]

I’ve mentioned this before somewhere but I have a friend whose grandfather was one of 19. He expressed that he wasn’t close to his parents or many of his siblings. The kids naturally formed sibling groups of four or five close together and they almost became their own family unit. I think that can’t help but happen. The lost girls will be close with each other but the other siblings feel more like aunts or uncles I’d guess. 

[Melissa1977]

5 hours ago, FluffySnowball said:

While I agree with you that the younger girls seem almost forgotten, I don’t think it’s Alyssa’s job to balance out her parents’ mistakes. She has her own children to rise and if her connection to some of her siblings are are closer than to others, so be it... In fact, with 18 siblings, this is just natural and it’s Kelly and Gil’s Job to make sure none of their children feels forgotten, left out, or otherwise overlooked. 

I never said it was Alyssa's job. I was just answering to a poster who was suprised that Alyssa is close to her younger brothers. She has always been.

It's sad for me that nobody seems to notice the 3 young girls. Kelly post about them twice a year and her birthday messages show her relationship with them is distant, compared with the personalised sentimental messages she writes for the older girls. 

Despite the girls not being adult siblings responsibility, out of 8 or 9 big bros and sis, seeing none of them involved with those girls is a bit shocking, especially because the 3 middle boys (and the 2 little boys maybe) do have close relationships with adult siblings. 

[rebeccawriter01]

12 hours ago, FluffySnowball said:

While I agree with you that the younger girls seem almost forgotten, I don’t think it’s Alyssa’s job to balance out her parents’ mistakes. She has her own children to rise and if her connection to some of her siblings are are closer than to others, so be it... In fact, with 18 siblings, this is just natural and it’s Kelly and Gil’s Job to make sure none of their children feels forgotten, left out, or otherwise overlooked. 

If the Addie, Ellie, and Callie are overlooked, I think that is primarily an issue with Gil and Kelly Jo's "gender rules." Warden, Isaiah, and Jackson have gotten to go to camp, basketball camp, have paint ball events, camping trips, etc. The younger two boys were taken to martial arts classes and rock climbing. With the exception of the ropes course thing where it was mostly just Kelly Jo screaming, the girls are locked into activities that do not allow them to be more active.

We've seen the three girls visit Michaela. That included a trip to the zoo, painting, and sewing lessons. We've seen them visit Erin. That included baking a cake. It has stuck out to me that with both the Duggars and the Bates that when an activity is planned for the younger girls, the father immediately does an activity with the boys too. I get that it wouldn't be a 1:1 trade off with separate activities. But it just always seems quite lopsided. The boys have basketball camp. Why not let the girls do something else? When the girls bake a cake with Erin, the boys were taken to learn to play golf. 

Even the birthday parties are this way. I've not seen the younger girls have a girl only party (Tori's bachelorette party at the beach aside). The boys always get to participate in the girls' birthday parties at pools, etc. However, the girls are left out of the boys' events with no alternative activity shown. 

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

If the Addie, Ellie, and Callie are overlooked, I think that is primarily an issue with Gil and Kelly Jo's "gender rules." Warden, Isaiah, and Jackson have gotten to go to camp, basketball camp, have paint ball events, camping trips, etc. The younger two boys were taken to martial arts classes and rock climbing. With the exception of the ropes course thing where it was mostly just Kelly Jo screaming, the girls are locked into activities that do not allow them to be more active.

We've seen the three girls visit Michaela. That included a trip to the zoo, painting, and sewing lessons. We've seen them visit Erin. That included baking a cake. It has stuck out to me that with both the Duggars and the Bates that when an activity is planned for the younger girls, the father immediately does an activity with the boys too. I get that it wouldn't be a 1:1 trade off with separate activities. But it just always seems quite lopsided. The boys have basketball camp. Why not let the girls do something else? When the girls bake a cake with Erin, the boys were taken to learn to play golf. 

Even the birthday parties are this way. I've not seen the younger girls have a girl only party (Tori's bachelorette party at the beach aside). The boys always get to participate in the girls' birthday parties at pools, etc. However, the girls are left out of the boys' events with no alternative activity shown. 

The girls are likely too busy with chores (cleaning, laundry, helping the older siblings in their homes, grocery shopping, cooking) to double down on outings and activities.

[Flossie]

I'll confess that I've only watched the cringeworthy episode where Zach first proposed to Sarah Reith, the rest of what I know is from this and other online forums.

I knew there were younger kids still at home, but I swear I've never heard of Addie, Ellie, and Callie before.

[Syriana]

Now that I didn't expect...Allie wearing a Grl Pwr top!

(It's in Alyssa's Insta stories, I took a screen shot of it but removed it rem the post because I wasn't sure I was appropriate)

 

Edited March 5, 2020 by Syriana

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, Syriana said:

Now that I didn't expect...Allie wearing a Grl Pwr top!

(It's in Alyssa's Insta stories, I took a screen shot of it but removed it rem the post because I wasn't sure I was appropriate)

 

If her stories are public it would have been fine to post.

[Syriana]

4 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

If her stories are public it would have been fine to post.

Thanks.

The top in question:

[HeartsAFundie]

On 3/3/2020 at 12:27 AM, neuroticcat said:

I’ve mentioned this before somewhere but I have a friend whose grandfather was one of 19. He expressed that he wasn’t close to his parents or many of his siblings. The kids naturally formed sibling groups of four or five close together and they almost became their own family unit. I think that can’t help but happen. The lost girls will be close with each other but the other siblings feel more like aunts or uncles I’d guess. 

I went to grammar school with someone who was one of 19 kids.  She was number 17-the Callie Bates of the bunch.  I also knew #18 and #19-the Judson and Jeb of the family.  Those were the ones she was closest with as the older ones were already out of the house or at least living their own lives by the time she came along.   Come to find out, my father as a kid knew #1, #2, and #3 -the Zach, Michael and Erin ones.   That blew my mind when I was a kid that both me and my father-who was 24 when I was born-went to school with siblings from the same family.  But considering that Zach and Jeb are 23 years apart, it's possible.  

Edited March 7, 2020 by HeartsAFundie

[Forevernotfundie]

On the Websters YouTube Channel they have a „day in the life“ online.

It made me sad for Allie espacially seeing how they do her school. She basically just sits there watching a video and has to fill out her workbook. All while the smaller ones nap and the parents chill in bed. 

Alyssa even says „listen to your teacher“ - and means the voice of the woman in the video. Shouldnt she be the teacher of her daughter if she decides to homeschool her? I cant imagine how boring this must be... and how little education means to them. Very sad. 
 

(Please excuse my english - its not my first language)

[VBOY9977]

1 hour ago, Forevernotfundie said:

On the Websters YouTube Channel they have a „day in the life“ online.

It made me sad for Allie espacially seeing how they do her school. She basically just sits there watching a video and has to fill out her workbook. All while the smaller ones nap and the parents chill in bed. 

Alyssa even says „listen to your teacher“ - and means the voice of the woman in the video. Shouldnt she be the teacher of her daughter if she decides to homeschool her? I cant imagine how boring this must be... and how little education means to them. Very sad. 
 

(Please excuse my english - its not my first language)

I agree. I think that watching videos to learn is something that you should be doing if you don’t understand what the heck your professor is talking about or you want to learn extra stuff/skills. But was very important to me in my education to have one on one interaction with my teachers and be able to ask them questions. And I think at Allie’s age she should be doing something more fun and interactive. 

[formergothardite]

3 hours ago, Forevernotfundie said:

It made me sad for Allie espacially seeing how they do her school. She basically just sits there watching a video and has to fill out her workbook. All while the smaller ones nap and the parents chill in bed. 

Alyssa even says „listen to your teacher“ - and means the voice of the woman in the video. Shouldnt she be the teacher of her daughter if she decides to homeschool her? I cant imagine how boring this must be... and how little education means to them. Very sad. 

Almost everyone I've talked to who has used that curriculum ended up having issues in the long run because little children don't learn by sitting and staring at a teacher on a screen who doesn't interact with them and doesn't pick up when they aren't understanding. 

I'm sure Alyssa is doing it because she wants to do as little work as possible. Actually homeschooling her children would take tons of time and effort. 

[EmmaWoodhouse]

As a homeschool grad, I've had both good and bad experiences with video curriculum.  One of my brothers used Math-U-See when nothing else was making sense (including one-on-one coaching with my math professor dad).  He is a very visual and kinetic learner and it worked for him.  I also watched a nutrition course from Great Courses as part of my highschool health credit and it supplemented my reading and projects well.   However, I also had a year of biology via video course and it did nothing for me.  Just like choosing homeschool, private school, public school, or a combination, it's really a case-by-case, child-by-child basis. 

I just hope that Alyssa is making the best decision for each child in each subject.

[Lgirlrocks]

I did switch on school house for two subjects one year in middle school. I enjoyed it because my mom usually handed me a text book and expected me to read the lesson then do the work. I loved going out for school, when I was finally allowed to, because of the interaction. 
most kids don’t get a choice in where they go to school. If you choose to home school then you need to make sure you are the one teaching them. If you can’t the find someone who can. 

[haroldtheyrefundies]

I did an online private (secular!) school for high school and it worked well for me. It had real teachers in a real classroom and the videos were normally pretty short. I'm a visual learner so it was a good fit for me. The only thing that was hard for me was the tests but I've never been good at testing so that's just a me thing, but at this school they let you re take tests until you get a passing grade which was nice. I picked this school because I was able to get an official transcript and diploma which was important for me since I wanted to go to college. I did another online  "school" for 8th grade when I went back to homeschooling during the middle of the year and I didn't like that one as much. It wasn't accredited (but they also don't advertise themselves as an online school. Just online homeschool curriculum). i felt that program was too kiddish for me and wanted something more legit for high school. We did Switched on Schoolhouse as a kid too but I don't remember how I felt about it. We also used Abeka but just the textbooks. My sister remembers using Abeka more than I do. 

[doubleT]

This style probably works for Allie and she is good at doing what she is suppose to do without much supervision.  I'm sure Alyssa checks her workbook and makes sure that Allie is understanding her lessons.  Now, Lexi and Zoe may be different and then Alyssa will have to, hopefully, adapt to what they need to learn.  

Edited March 9, 2020 by doubleT
changed "were" to "her"

[Melissa1977]

On 3/5/2020 at 2:31 PM, Syriana said:

Now that I didn't expect...Allie wearing a Grl Pwr top!

When you do not give a proper education to your daughters, a trendy T-shirt means nothing. There is no girl power for Allie. She is learning that she must be pretty and be a mother someday. And worse than that, she will probably learn that "girl power" means using lipstick 

[lizzybee]

I didn’t homeschool but I struggled in math and science and ended up doing summer school a couple of years in a row. Summer school was just a work book with lessons and exercises and when I felt ready I would take a test. I just did that until I ultimately passed everything and completed the class and gained the required credit to graduate. When I long term subbed I did so at an alternative school within the public school system. That was their entire school curriculum. I did more tutoring style work and administered their tests. It wasn’t any more exciting than that and I’m not confident they got anything much out of it either. Any student in the county could opt to go there and do school that way though and I can definitely see the appeal. Once you did all the work you graduated, so when you were done with high school depended on you alone. 
 

I’m going to homeschool, it’s been my plan since I was in middle school. My bff was homeschooled well and I was very jealous of her homeschool friends, all the activities they did, and the school schedule she kept. She ended up doing a homeschool/private school hybrid at the end of high school and now has a masters degree and works for a university. It was a good example for me of what homeschool could be if done well, and it made me want to offer that to my kids. My oldest in particular I feel is going to get the most out of being homeschooled because he marches to the beat of his own drum big time. My youngest I think would do just fine in a regular setting. Oldest would always be in trouble and struggling 10/10. 
 

It definitely is like any other kind of education in that you’re going to get the result of what you put into it. Hopefully Alyssa isn’t planning on phoning in her daughters’ entire education with video lectures this way. Some is definitely okay. I’ll probably rely on heavy help when it comes time to teach chemistry for example but as someone with a background in education myself, I can easily say that only video stuff isn’t going to render great results because it’s too dependent on her to absorb everything only one way and it takes a plethora of methods to help students comprehend a subject matter. The same thing isn’t going to work all the time even if it’s working now. She said she was homeschooling so she could play to their strengths when it comes to learning. Hopefully she means that and isn’t going to just cop out with a video throughout. If that’s all she’s planning on doing, then she’s not going to be doing her daughters any favors. 
 

I have friends who were homeschooled that turned out amazing with great jobs and I have other friends who were held back by that system. I see the pros and the cons if it’s not done well. It wouldn’t be right to write Alyssa’s homeschooling off over one example of how she’s doing things, so I’ll withhold total judgment, but for now I’ll just say that I’m not encouraged by her methods here for the kids’ education long term. 

[Melissa1977]

21 minutes ago, lizzybee said:

Hopefully she means that and isn’t going to just cop out with a video throughout

I have zero hopes for Webster girls in homeschooling terms. If a parent is not putting any effort with her firstborn, thinking she will eventually put more effort in the youngers is a naive thought IMO.

Also homeschooling is relatively easy at young ages. There are lots of activities that can be done painting or playing, with storybooks and fun papersheets etc. No need a TV screen at all! If Alyssa is unable to sit down with Allie and explain her how to do a preschool activity, no way she's doing it when it becomes more and more difficult.