Alyssa & John 5: She's Raising Fashion Conscious Girls

[irish_dancing_canadian]

Oh wow I would have hated this program as a child. I was super antsy as a kid and could just never sit there and watch vids. I am definetly a learning by doing type person. 

I wonder how Alyssa will react when one of her kids is unable to properly learn from the Abeka curriculum. Although she will likely just ignore it and still force the child to learn that way anyways. Makes me sad, yet again more wasted potential. 

[formergothardite]

18 minutes ago, irish_dancing_canadian said:

I wonder how Alyssa will react when one of her kids is unable to properly learn from the Abeka curriculum. Although she will likely just ignore it and still force the child to learn that way anyways. Makes me sad, yet again more wasted potential. 

I wonder if she would actually notice. The kids do the worksheets along with the class. I'm assuming she checks them, but if they start falling behind I really don't know if she will pull the plug on this really creepy program and start actually teaching them. I don't even know if she has the ability to do that. These kids need to be put in a school. 

[Seculardaisy]

People on Instagram: “Wow Alyssa, you always look so put together and your makeup and clothes are always perfect. How do you find the time with three daughters and homeschooling?”

I think we have their answer. 

[formergothardite]

2 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Holy fuck Jesus Christ on roller skates. What the fuck did I watch????? It was like a bloody car crash I could not look away. I can’t believe it is real. I kept waiting for some Saturday night live people to pop out. That shot is mind numbing and creepy. Those kids in the class seem to be stepford kids..... 

The teacher is something else! And the children are so creepily obedient to her hand motions. The teacher doesn't improve any when she moves from Bible to writing and math. Even with her singing the incy wincy spider she goes really fast and there is no joy in it, 

Spoiler

 

 

[lizzybee]

Speaking of creepily obedient, I have children similar ages to Alyssa’s and mine...aren’t like that at all. It didn’t inspire admiration for their parenting in me, rather it made me uncomfortable and worried about them. I also felt really sad when she told them to get their storybook and it was just a book of those stupid character qualities. Their story time was quizzing them on how to meet that quality. Yuck. 
 

My kids read “Dragons Love Tacos“ and “How to Catch a Unicorn” last night before bed. 
 

The whole video honestly made me sad
-cop out homeschooling

-poor car seat practices

-unnatural obedience

-cult indoctrination for storytime

Anyone still think she’s fundie lite? Bueller? 

 

[nolongerIFBx]

I don't understand the videos for preschool. It isn't that hard to teach preschool, even with a limited education. That said, ABeka has moved to requiring videos if you want an accredited diploma. My siblings and I all did ABeka without the videos, just following the curriculum, and managed to get accredited college/university degrees, even masters courses (one graduates in with their masters in May; I have a graduate certificate). We were enrolled as correspondence students so we did get a diploma from the school in Florida, which people just using academic material from here and there didn't get. But, I know that at least I had to start as a non-degree seeking college student because they didn't have the accreditation at that time. Now they do, but only if you use the approved videos.

[irish_dancing_canadian]

38 minutes ago, lizzybee said:

Anyone still think she’s fundie lite? Bueller? 

 

Haha shes definetly still fundie, just dresses better. 

[JordynDarby5]

On 3/9/2020 at 2:14 PM, nausicaa said:

I was really surprised when I finally saw the videos. There's an Abeka pitch video on YouTube selling the program to parents, and the big selling point seems to be moms saying they could just send each kid to a TV and then announcing "I had so much time for housework!" One mother even goes on and on about getting to have her morning coffee in peace unlike when she did other homeschooling programs. So the hands off aspect seems to be a feature, not a bug. 

I am not against homeschooling, if, as you say, you are tailoring (well thought of) curriculum and doing hands on reinforcement activities, especially with very young children. But this just looks like a cop out for people who had more children than they could handle.

 

On 3/9/2020 at 4:06 PM, formergothardite said:

I think I watched the same pitch video and it is awful how the big thing seems to be that you can basically ignore you children. Poor Allie is in preschool, yet she is watching boring videos and doing worksheets. It is just sad to think that is her preschool education. It seems like Alyssa is putting no effort at all into her children's education. 

I can't believe that's actually a selling point. That's just so weird. So you don't send your kids to the 'evil public school or think homeschooling is better by plopping them down in front of the TV and ignoring them? Why are you homeschooling your kids if you want to ignore them? Why wouldn't that be the selling point of sending your kids to public school? 

[nausicaa]

Just now, JordynDarby5 said:

Why are you homeschooling your kids if you want to ignore them? Why wouldn't that be the selling point of sending your kids to public school? 

I would think so too, but I imagine a lot of these types are more concerned with shielding their children from the heathen, worldly influences of public school than they are interested in the additional academic opportunities that homeschooling can provide. 

I also think after a certain number of kids and a husband who does no housework, cooking, or laundry, mothers just get so overwhelmed that it's nearly impossible to basically run an engaged, full-time PK-12 schoolhouse out of their home. (I think that they are justifiably overwhelmed. I'd just argue that's something that should acknowledge when choosing or pushing this life style.)

[HerNameIsBuffy]

7 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

I also think after a certain number of kids and a husband who does no housework, cooking, or laundry, mothers just get so overwhelmed that it's nearly impossible to basically run an engaged, full-time PK-12 schoolhouse out of their home. (I think that they are justifiably overwhelmed. I'd just argue that's something that should acknowledge when choosing or pushing this life style.)

Agreed.  Not excusing it just acknowledging it as a thing.  but Alyssa only has one school age kid so she doesn't even have that excuse.  When my kids were small we played games and had activities with numbers, letters, etc...not homeschool it's just parenting.  

[Melissa1977]

20 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

also think after a certain number of kids and a husband who does no housework, cooking, or laundry, mothers just get so overwhelmed that it's nearly impossible to basically run an engaged, full-time PK-12 schoolhouse out of their home

But Alyssa just homeschools Allie. She could put Zoey and Lexi on TV for a while and actually teach something to Allie. But maybe she tried and failed... I wouldn't be able to homeschool 1 single kid, that's why they attend a school.

Also John is involved. At least he looked after the girls when Alyssa worked and seemed hands-on. He could put some effort in homeschooling, too. 

I think parental lazyness and lack of expectations are the problems in Websters homeschool system. It's a pity.

[nausicaa]

Just now, Melissa1977 said:

I think parental lazyness and lack of expectations are the problems in Websters homeschool system. It's a pity.

Oh agreed, I was thinking or large Fundie families in general, not the Websters specifically. 

Honestly, I think Alyssa just doesn't put that much of a priority on education, and without ever being exposed to people who do, doesn't even know what she doesn't know.

I think this board skews towards more educated and academic oriented people, so we're missing that some people think knowing "enough to get by" is fine. (It's not, but that attitude is out there.) I mean, Alyssa barely got through high school, but she has a nice house, cute clothes, and lots of followers on IG. In her world, that's all you need, so I doubt she thinks her education was inadequate in any way. 

[formergothardite]

5 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

Alyssa barely got through high school, but she has a nice house, cute clothes, and lots of followers on IG. In her world, that's all you need, so I doubt she thinks her education was inadequate in any way. 

Especially since she is raising girls. The expectation is that they will grow up to look cute, find a nice husband and have babies. I wonder if she had had boys if they would push for a better education. 

[SassyPants]

Truth be told, the video method might be better than what a hands on Alyssa could provide. In terms of education, and that includes the raw basics, Alyssa seems to at the bottom of the Bates’ class. The girls would be better off in a PS. 
 

Alyssa would have been better off going to Beauty School, than getting married as a teen. It’s pretty clear she realllly wanted to get out of Bates Motel. Too bad she’s repeating some of the same mistakes with her girls, which is even worse.

[Melissa1977]

7 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Especially since she is raising girls. The expectation is that they will grow up to look cute, find a nice husband and have babies. I wonder if she had had boys if they would push for a better education. 

Bates boys didn't receive a better education than the girls and I doubt Webster household was different. At least John does not seem to be "cultivated". 

I wonder if Erin will put a bit more effort in homeschooling, being such a perfectionist. Or Tori. But if Alyssa has her golden baby boy, he will be in the TV school, too.

[lumpentheologie]

Realizing this is how the Webster girls are educated has made me ragey.  I took a class on teaching and learning in grad school and I wouldn't wish this kind of "instruction" on a college student.  With a small child it's educational neglect on par with abuse. Imagine if a child was forced to sit in the back corner of a classroom, never allowed to interact, as a question, or get any attention from the teacher. That's essentially what Allie is doing, and it's tragic. 

Hey fundie moms: Guess when else you can ignore your kids? When they're at SCHOOL, being taught by an actual teacher who responds to them, and as a bonus they're learning how to interact with other people and getting to explore the world.  

But those are exactly the things fundies want to avoid with their kids, so I'm convinced the educational neglect is actually a feature and not a bug for them.  I hope Alyssa gets some pushback from her followers about this. From the educational point of view, there is really no metric you could use to say this is better for kids than real school. It doesn't have any advantage over school in terms of letting you have time without your kid either.  But it does succeed at keeping them ignorant, incurious, and intellectually stunted.  Between this and blanket training, it would be surprising if any fundie kids left the cult. 

No wonder Alyssa doesn't know basic things, if this is how she was raised.  If this is what she associates with 'learning', no wonder doesn't show a single glimmer of curiosity about the world beyond her experience.  I'm so, so sad for these children. 

[Bazinga]

I might get a little flack here for being quite judgey but after watching their day in the life, I found their whole day lazy. What was up with their breakfast for the kids? I get on a rushed day, you might have to hand out pre-packaged food in a pinch. But they were literally doing nothing all day long. Then it was an hour (or two, I forget) of tv "school". What were John and Alyssa doing at this time? Not participating in teaching their kids. Then they left for lunch. Then it was nap time where John and Alyssa lounged in bed. Then they worked out (probably the only real active thing they did all day). Then dinner of mac N cheese and some veggies. But that was just for the girls. What did John and Alyssa eat? It didn't look like they had breakfast, just coffee. So do they only eat one meal a day? I hope not. I know we all like to think Alyssa is just thin and petite, but I do worry about the girls and the pressures of being on TV and the internet. I don't really want to insinuate anything, but the lack of eating for her in a day has me scratching my head. Maybe they ate the Mac N' Cheese too? Anyways, then it was bedtime, which was done by 7:30. In which both parents gleefully talked about the 5 hours of "us" time for the remainder of the night.

They literally did nothing, or little to nothing with their kids all day, and they are jumping around about "us" time. John and Alyssa, you got us time almost all day long. I know this was a day in their life, but I hope it was just a rushed video for their YouTube content. I hope most days involve them interacting with their children in somewhat meaningful ways. Trips to the park or library. Meals prepared for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (most of the time, I get life happens). I will stop there.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, Bazinga said:

I might get a little flack here for being quite judgey but after watching their day in the life, I found their whole day lazy. What was up with their breakfast for the kids? I get on a rushed day, you might have to hand out pre-packaged food in a pinch. But they were literally doing nothing all day long. Then it was an hour (or two, I forget) of tv "school". What were John and Alyssa doing at this time? Not participating in teaching their kids. Then they left for lunch. Then it was nap time where John and Alyssa lounged in bed. Then they worked out (probably the only real active thing they did all day). Then dinner of mac N cheese and some veggies. But that was just for the girls. What did John and Alyssa eat? It didn't look like they had breakfast, just coffee. So do they only eat one meal a day? I hope not. I know we all like to think Alyssa is just thin and petite, but I do worry about the girls and the pressures of being on TV and the internet. I don't really want to insinuate anything, but the lack of eating for her in a day has me scratching my head. Maybe they ate the Mac N' Cheese too? Anyways, then it was bedtime, which was done by 7:30. In which both parents gleefully talked about the 5 hours of "us" time for the remainder of the night.

They literally did nothing, or little to nothing with their kids all day, and they are jumping around about "us" time. John and Alyssa, you got us time almost all day long. I know this was a day in their life, but I hope it was just a rushed video for their YouTube content. I hope most days involve them interacting with their children in somewhat meaningful ways. Trips to the park or library. Meals prepared for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (most of the time, I get life happens). I will stop there.

Doesn't he work?

[Bazinga]

Just now, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Doesn't he work?

Not in this video. I don't know if they mentioned why he wasn't working that day.

[nausicaa]

31 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Especially since she is raising girls. The expectation is that they will grow up to look cute, find a nice husband and have babies. I wonder if she had had boys if they would push for a better education. 

I think there is a lot of this with the Websters and it's one of the reasons I come down so hard on Alyssa.

I think she has being cute as a big priority. And I think for her, being kinda dumb, or at least dumber than your husband, is a big part of being "cute."

16 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

Imagine if a child was forced to sit in the back corner of a classroom, never allowed to interact, as a question, or get any attention from the teacher. That's essentially what Allie is doing, and it's tragic. 

I already thought those videos were bullshit, but using this comparison really brings home how abysmal all of this is. 

Edited March 11, 2020 by nausicaa

[lumpentheologie]

4 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

I already thought those videos were bullshit, but using this comparison really brings home how abysmal all of this is. 

Right?  Most parents would be up in arms about that happening to their kid, but the Websters are paying money to make sure it happens to Allie. 

[neuroticcat]

I also think some fundies think all secular educational philosophy is indoctrination. The Maxwells Managers of their Schools goes on and on about the value of textbook only learning- as in give your kid a textbook and worksheets. 
 

It could be that there’s some alternate reality out there where she’s been told this is the best way to hone educate without secular influence. 

Or, optimistically, she might recognize she doesn’t have what it takes, and, still not wanting to risk exposure to school, feel justified in paying for a video classroom. It’s not good, but it’s better than the fundie homeschoolers who just use the Bible only for everything. 

[TuringMachine]

So if one of her kids has ADHD they're just fucked. I find it hard to believe any young child can sit through that, let alone one with an attention disorder. And what happens if they don't understand something or have a question?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

12 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

I think she has being cute as a big priority. And I think for her, being kinda dumb, or at least dumber than your husband, is a big part of being "cute."

I tried that when I was young.  A dorm parent at boarding school gently pointed out that playing dumb doesn't work when people know you aren't, it just comes off fake and patronizing.  I remember being super upset for some reason, and thinking it was very unfair that I had one less tool in my arsenal.  

I have exclusively ended up with men who prefer dumb women, making life difficult for both sides.

But I have news for Alyssa, from someone who has lived a lot longer and was once happy to skate on being cute (if not dumb)...smart lasts.  I'm not saying older women can't be cute, we can be adorable….but in society being young and pretty is very different than being middle aged and pretty and ...I've seen gorgeous women age who didn't have smart to fall back on and the dumb thing is just sad after a certain point.  

[lumpentheologie]

10 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

But I have news for Alyssa, from someone who has lived a lot longer and was once happy to skate on being cute (if not dumb)...smart lasts.  I'm not saying older women can't be cute, we can be adorable….but in society being young and pretty is very different than being middle aged and pretty and ...I've seen gorgeous women age who didn't have smart to fall back on and the dumb thing is just sad after a certain point.

This is so true, but I also want to add that being cute or smart aren't the only things that can make someone attractive.  Lots of people aren't particularly smart and that's fine.  There's a lot to be said for people who are kind, fun, and loving.  

I say this as someone who spent my youth dating smart, good-looking people who treated me like shit.