Alyssa & John 5: She's Raising Fashion Conscious Girls

[Pecansforeveryone]

There are all sorts of musicians out there from hip hop to country that I know very little about and couldn't name one of their songs to save my life.

[mydoggoskeeper]

FWIW Love and Respect was written by my childhood pastor.  It was a fairly mainstream, suburban, non-denominational church.  I think the premise over simplifies both men and women, but its not gothardy-fundie.  

[NoJulius]

I'm disappointed that they won't use John Jr.  ?

[SassyPants]

They really do seem to complement each other. It’s too bad the brainwashing and cult mentality has taken such a strong hold. It’s also too bad that they do not see the dangers and pitfalls of their beliefs. With a bit of education and deprogramming, I bet that they could be nice people. At the very least, they seem responsible. John really doesn’t seem like he wants more children and counting.

Edited February 14, 2020 by SassyPants

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Yes, but John's parents live in the neibourhood. People knows when a congressman is their neighbour, and gossip about the family. I mean, they seem to live in a quiet place, not in a busy city center. 

Of course it may be true that neighbours don't know. But it is possible that Alyssa thinks that just because they don't interact or don't ask questions about TV. 

Agreed - but honestly I wouldn't know if my congressperson had an inlaw or kid on reality TV.  For plenty of people that stuff isn't even on their radar.  I couldn't tell you one thing about any of my neighbors except the names of their dogs.

[lizzybee]

Many people on here have stressed until they were out of breath and eventually gave up that the changes Alyssa made were not outside of what was accepted in the IBLP, just outside of the standards for her family. Yet so many continued to believe that the presence of pants meant that they weren’t still involved in IBLP. At least now there’s a video in 2020 people can point to where Character Qualities are referenced to confirm that she’s not strayed so far as so many have supposed. 

Edited February 14, 2020 by lizzybee
Typo

[kmachete14]

Does anyone remember the character qualities books that Chick-Fil-A used to give out? When I as in 1st grade I remember getting one about honesty featuring a lion. Do they still do this? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

So their I Love You Day theme is the roaring 20s.

God these people get on my nerves. They are anti-alcohol and anti dancing yet they are celebrating the roaring 20s? Do they have any idea why they are “roaring?” Because of all the bootlegged liquor and jazz dancing. Two things they are against. I can’t take their idiocy.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

So their I Love You Day theme is the roaring 20s.

God these people get on my nerves. They are anti-alcohol and anti dancing yet they are celebrating the roaring 20s? Do they have any idea why they are “roaring?” Because of all the bootlegged liquor and jazz dancing. Two things they are against. I can’t take their idiocy.

Also bobbed hair, short skirts, and freedom from the corset.

Oh but the hats...I just adore a cloche hat (is that the name?)

Spoiler

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

39 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Also bobbed hair, short skirts, and freedom from the corset.

Oh but the hats...I just adore a cloche hat (is that the name?)

  Hide contents

 

I love the 20s. I’ve loved it since I read The Great Gatsby in high school. And I get why they chose the theme. Because it’s now 2020. However it’s so ridiculous because they would completely disagree with “the roaring 20s” if they lived in that time. They would be in the group that pushed to outlaw alcohol in the first place.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I love the 20s. I’ve loved it since I read The Great Gatsby in high school. And I get why they chose the theme. Because it’s now 2020. However it’s so ridiculous because they would completely disagree with “the roaring 20s” if they lived in that time. They would be in the group that pushed to outlaw alcohol in the first place.

But they are all too vain to want to show up in Carrie Nation's modest wear.

 

[ModestisHottest]

21 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I can't believe neighbours don't know anything about Webster "fame". More probably neighbours feel a bit embarrased and prefer to say nothing about it.

Also I doubt they discussed about putting Allie in a regular school. John is not going to do something SO opposed to his father beliefs, specially when all his siblings homeschool.

The positive part is that they sound sincere about waiting a while before having more kids (or stopping at 3). They seem to take Alyssa health as a very important issue.

I think you're probably right about the school stuff but I will say I know two very conservative/fundy-lite families with three kids each and both have but their kids in pre-school for a few hours a day a few days a week but still homeschool.  So for example, one of the families has the oldest and youngest home with the mom all day but the middle one goes to pre-school.  The oldest is doing school at home and the youngest is just being a toddler all day.  I'm not sure why they do this but I think part of it is because it's easier to homeschool the oldest one when the middle one isn't needing to be entertained? All that to say, it's possible that while they thought about sending Allie to pre-school they never really considered sending her to K-12 school (and are maybe not telling the whole truth in the video to seem more normal.)

[formergothardite]

On 2/13/2020 at 2:15 PM, lumpentheologie said:

John says they considered putting Allie in preschool, but decided to homeschool because every kid learns in a different way and since they know their children and how they learn they are best equipped to tailor lessons to each kid's learning style.

They chose homeschooling because it gives flexibility in learning styles, yet they chose the most rigid curriculum out there that doesn't adapt easily to learning styles. 

They are still using A Beka video, aren't they?

[JermajestyDuggar]

My son’s preschool is play based. I bet Allie would do great in a play based preschool. 

[lizzybee]

3 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

Does anyone remember the character qualities books that Chick-Fil-A used to give out? When I as in 1st grade I remember getting one about honesty featuring a lion. Do they still do this? 

They just do mini board books currently. I admit I kind of love them. Nothing religious - I think one is titled something like "If your Elephant has the sniffles" for example. They're really cute and fun to read to my kids. Before that they did some paper paged Usborne books that I liked less but kept them for my kid to draw on at the doctor's office. Even though I grew up in GA, there was only one Chick-fil-a near me as a kid and it was a Dwarf House (now they're everywhere - two in the town I live in currently). I think we went there a whopping one time in my childhood. So I don't remember at all. My husband grew up near CFA's mecca land (where their corporate offices are now). He infamously made a joke to me about someone not knowing that Truett's wasn't open on Sunday and I responded something like "what the heck is Truett's?"

Truett's is a sit down restaurant style Chick-fil-a and they have more options. You can even have a hamburger there and they've served CFA's "new" macaroni and cheese for years. I'd never heard of it until I was dating him and driving down to see him. I will say though they do a full buffet style brunch of CFA food on Saturdays that's pretty amazing. I know, I know, it's CFA...but still. 

Adding, if this post seems rambly and not really making sense, my 3yo is currently fighting a nap and I've been in there about half a dozen times since I started trying to write it. One notable time he had stripped totally naked. 

Edited February 14, 2020 by lizzybee

[kmachete14]

People who say every kid has a different learning style are not wrong. Kids learn at different paces, need different levels of scaffolding, might need different kinds of motivation/ affirmation, etc.  

People who say it's because some kids need to hear, some kids need to see, some kids need to be modeled . . . are full of shit. Those "learning styles" have been disproven. Plus, actual schools DO all that. When I teach something, I give it verbally, I model it, I write it on the board, I pass out a handout, I have the kids practice in pairs, I check in individually with each kid, etc. 

I think they have just heard that as a defense of their version of homeschooling so often that they assume it's fact that homeschooling is better for "Different learning styles." 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My first grader goes to public school. He started the year way behind his peers in reading. So his teacher gave us lots of suggestions. We followed her suggestions and read with him every single day at home, pointed out rhyming sounds, and made a game out of it. All while he was working on the same type of stuff at school. He’s made so much progress. He reads so well now. Teachers can work with kids who are learning at different rates. And parents help by reviewing all of it at home. Alyssa and John were homeschooled so I’m not sure why they think they know how public school works.

Edited February 14, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[llg1234]

At the risk of sounding like a leg humper, I'm going to say I'm glad John didn't include Alyssa when when he said "my girls." It always bothers me when men call women girls. I know he's still sexist and a regressive person overall, but I was surprised by this caption.

 

[Melissa1977]

5 hours ago, llg1234 said:

At the risk of sounding like a leg humper, I'm going to say I'm glad John didn't include Alyssa when when he said "my girls." It always bothers me when men call women girls. I know he's still sexist and a regressive person overall, but I was surprised by this caption

I think he was including Alyssa in "girls", but also pointing she was the most important of them. Considering Valentine's is about romantic love, I think I would be better to just post a message to Alyssa. But John dated Allie months ago... 

I personally think parents should never mix romantic events with family events. If I go diner with my son, it's bonding time, but it's not a date! I love my children AND my husband, but it's not the same kind of love...

And now, my BEC comment.... How I hate pictures of smart dressed people at bed. Pyjamas? Ok. Lace dresses and make up? Looks weird. Plus bed is such a private place... 

[JermajestyDuggar]

A lot of the boys were attempting to do The Charleston. Evan was by far the best at it. Zach was probably the worst. So I guess the Bates family is ok with dancing now. As long as you’re male? 

[rebeccawriter01]

14 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

A lot of the boys were attempting to do The Charleston. Evan was by far the best at it. Zach was probably the worst. So I guess the Bates family is ok with dancing now. As long as you’re male? 

Their stance on dancing has always been looser than the Duggars. In the first season, they showed Gil's parents dancing and spoke of their enjoyment of it. They even attempted to teach a few of the kids (Nathan, Trace, and...) a few steps too. Trace learned some dancing skills in his attempts to be in Dixie Stampede. Carlin pushed the envelope the most by wanting a first dance and father daughter dance after Evan included dancing as part of the proposal. 

Now their statements are more about how they don't condone dancing where unmarried people are pressed together, etc. It speaks to their double talk and their ignorance of anything that might go against their IBLP lifestyle. In typical fundie style, they can reconcile anything they want to do with their contrary beliefs if they try hard enough.

[neuroticcat]

If they weren’t still so connected with IBLP I’d assume they were all trending fundie lite given the external changes...but I’m not sure how Gil reconciles it being on the board. 

My guess is Gil and Kelly are still all in (as evidenced by the younger girls’ ski skirts) but have realized they can’t control the older married off ones. So it’s either deal with their new standards or compromise the relationship (and show!)

If that’s what’s happened I give them points for that simply because I’ve known ATI families to essentially shun kids for going fundielite. 

A

[QuiverFullofBooks]

On 2/14/2020 at 9:27 AM, mydoggoskeeper said:

FWIW Love and Respect was written by my childhood pastor.  It was a fairly mainstream, suburban, non-denominational church.  I think the premise over simplifies both men and women, but its not gothardy-fundie.  

I read it at a difficult moment in my marriage, and while it was too fundie for me, it made some good points.

[FluffySnowball]

On 2/14/2020 at 4:51 PM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

 I couldn't tell you one thing about any of my neighbors except the names of their dogs.

You are my kind of person! 

 

Spoiler

 

Edited February 17, 2020 by FluffySnowball

[OyToTheVey]

To me the definition of the roaring 20's is Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald. Like they're the epitome of the 20's. Drinking too much, dancing everywhere, partying, a lot of going out, defying prohibition. The 20's were the time to have fun and let loose after the war. The Bates are like the polar opposite.