Alyssa & John 5: She's Raising Fashion Conscious Girls

[rebeccawriter01]

17 hours ago, OyToTheVey said:

To me the definition of the roaring 20's is Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald. Like they're the epitome of the 20's. Drinking too much, dancing everywhere, partying, a lot of going out, defying prohibition. The 20's were the time to have fun and let loose after the war. The Bates are like the polar opposite. 

I am a fan of the time period and appreciate movies and literature of that time. The only photograph I have of one of my great grandmothers is from that time and features the bob, pin curls, and typical flapper attire for her wedding. 

Leaving out the drinking, dancing, etc., one can note that the 1920s were a coming of age for women's rights (just after the right to vote), more women in white collar jobs, machines that made housework easier, consumer economy, advances in birth control, and a time when more people lived in cities than on farms. Yes, there was prohibition, but the majority of people didn't really break that law. It was illegal to make or sell alcohol, not to drink it. 

It is the culture war that was the 1920s that is striking today. There was the Red Scare and many of the anti-immigration ideas reared their heads during that time. You had the migration of African Americans moving from the south where their ancestors had been slaves to settle in northern cities - Harlem Renaissance. Conversely, you had the KKK spreading its influence and proclaiming it was fighting for the values of Americans against the city dwelling sinners. 

I am all for celebrating history and even went to my own Roaring 20s party on January 1. I just wonder what part of the 1920s the Bates were trying to celebrate or recognize. My guess is that if you asked them, they couldn't tell you. 

[clueliss]

And the first thing into my head with all of this is "Bernice Bobs her Hair"  - which I had to read either in High School or college.  

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernice_Bobs_Her_Hair

(Fitzgerlad)

[JDuggs]

7 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

 

I am all for celebrating history and even went to my own Roaring 20s party on January 1. I just wonder what part of the 1920s the Bates were trying to celebrate or recognize. My guess is that if you asked them, they couldn't tell you. 

It looks like Evan was celebrating gangsters’ rights to open carry machine guns. Ah the good old days.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I understand Alyssa is frustrated with potty training but she needs to keep the pictures off social media. Posting a picture of both girls on potties is going to embarrass them when they are older. 

[nvmbr02]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I understand Alyssa is frustrated with potty training but she needs to keep the pictures off social media. Posting a picture of both girls on potties is going to embarrass them when they are older. 

I don't really find the photos posted on her instagram to be embarrassment worthy, though not something I would personally post on SM, I tend to be very conservative with what I post. I think posting the details about Lexi's struggle to potty train a bit worse, but even that isn't horrible in my mind. Again, not something I would post, especially as a somewhat public figure but it isn't a huge deal to me in the grand scheme of things.

Then again, my husband literally had his bare ass on the front page of the local section of a large metro area newspaper when he was two. My MIL entered the picture in a beautiful baby contest and he won. It has been 38+ years and the picture still turns up frequently within his side of the family ... his grandmother even gave me a copy when we got married. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, nvmbr02 said:

I don't really find the photos posted on her instagram to be embarrassment worthy, though not something I would personally post on SM, I tend to be very conservative with what I post. I think posting the details about Lexi's struggle to potty train a bit worse, but even that isn't horrible in my mind. Again, not something I would post, especially as a somewhat public figure but it isn't a huge deal to me in the grand scheme of things.

Then again, my husband literally had his bare ass on the front page of the local section of a large metro area newspaper when he was two. My MIL entered the picture in a beautiful baby contest and he won. It has been 38+ years and the picture still turns up frequently within his side of the family ... his grandmother even gave me a copy when we got married. 

I think it’s because she’s such a public figure. If it was her private Instagram with only people she knows, it would be different. But her instagram page is basically her job. She advertises tons of stuff on there. So posting pics of her girls on the potty doesn’t seem appropriate. All of the Bates children have grown up with no privacy and don’t seem to care to give their children any. 

[lizzybee]

I’m currently struggling with potty training myself so I kind of feel her. I can see how it would be tempting to poll the masses if I had the ability myself. Idk if I would do it, myself because I’m private too. I was reading through her comments yesterday for my own benefit and taking comfort that there were so many different answers and some of them were ridiculous/funny. It meant to me that there was no fool proof, perfect way to do it, you just kind of have to figure out what works for your specific kid. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

13 minutes ago, lizzybee said:

I’m currently struggling with potty training myself so I kind of feel her. I can see how it would be tempting to poll the masses if I had the ability myself. Idk if I would do it, myself because I’m private too. I was reading through her comments yesterday for my own benefit and taking comfort that there were so many different answers and some of them were ridiculous/funny. It meant to me that there was no fool proof, perfect way to do it, you just kind of have to figure out what works for your specific kid. 

Fwiw the advice we were given by our son's neurologist when he was small was true for us.  They'll do it when they're ready.

We were told that while the brain is working on another part of development, like speech, it's harder to potty train.

I had one who was super easy to train since as soon as he realized there was another option he was done.

I had two others who trained later, one of whom was on the spectrum...and once it was potty trainings turn in his development it was done overnight.

I know it's frustrating - I remember having 3 in diapers...but hang in there and it will happen. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My youngest is 5 and would happily still wear dipaers if I let him. I always have to remind him to go every time and he still has accidents most days. I honestly think he would wear diapers well into elementary school because he just doesn’t care. But they aren’t allowed diapers at school so I couldn’t wait for him to be ready. 

[Melissa1977]

8 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

My youngest is 5 and would happily still wear dipaers if I let him. I always have to remind him to go every time and he still has accidents most days. I honestly think he would wear diapers well into elementary school because he just doesn’t care. But they aren’t allowed diapers at school so I couldn’t wait for him to be ready. 

It happens sometimes. I understand the people who say "children know when they are ready", because it's their experience, but there are exceptions. There are children who don't care! Others are so afraid of changes in their life that prefer to keep diapers just because it how they have been living before.

Also some children ARE prepared but just not realise, and an adult must encourage to leave diapers. 

I know children (some very little) who they themselves said "no more diapers". But not all children have that reaction, despite being ready.

 

[therulesofjinx]

It's not up anymore (perhaps it was a story that has expired?)- did she post that she is potty training Zoey at the same time as Lexi because she doesn't want to do it again later? But what happens if there are more kids down the road?

[llucie]

7 hours ago, therulesofjinx said:

It's not up anymore (perhaps it was a story that has expired?)- did she post that she is potty training Zoey at the same time as Lexi because she doesn't want to do it again later? But what happens if there are more kids down the road?

Saw that. She even said on the last youtube video that she would love to have more children once she gets the doctors all clear. Maybe she hopes to get the girls potty trained before the next baby comes, but i dont understand the rush and i think it may be a bit too early for Zoey.

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 hours ago, therulesofjinx said:

It's not up anymore (perhaps it was a story that has expired?)- did she post that she is potty training Zoey at the same time as Lexi because she doesn't want to do it again later? But what happens if there are more kids down the road?

It was an Instagram story. It was the two girls sitting on potties watching tv. 

[VineHeart137]

Stopped by because I was curious to see what other people thought of how cavalier Alyssa is when talking about her daughter's toilet habits and I see there's already a discussion ongoing. She has another post mentioning how Lexi "pooped in her panties" twice today. It struck me as an odd thing to tell the world but maybe I'm being uptight? I know she is a public figure but I feel her children deserve for some parts of their lives to remain private.

[ColeJo]

@VineHeart137 I definitely agree. Alyssa doesn't seem to understand the implications of posting this stuff or she doesn't care. Things posted on the internet stay on forever. I know one person on YouTube who gives her children the choice of whether they want to appear in a video. I would be horrified if my parents did that.

[just_ordinary]

While I think that is definitely TMI and I am a private person that values the right to control your online presence, I do think for many people u25 this is just the new normal. And honestly- I don’t care if someone I meet has such information about them online. And most teens I know don’t care either. It’s probably a generational thing and I don’t know if it’s actually problematic or just uncomfortable for people that grew up different/are more private.

[Screamapillar]

I just get the sense that Alyssa' oldest must have been pretty easy to train because she seems a bit put out that Lexi is having a difficult time. Which I totally sympathize with, because everyone hates potty training. My oldest trained quickly with little effort on my part, so I'll probably be unpleasantly surprised if my youngest is difficult. But I'll stop short of keeping a public tally of how many times he soils himself.

[Ali]

8 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

While I think that is definitely TMI and I am a private person that values the right to control your online presence, I do think for many people u25 this is just the new normal. And honestly- I don’t care if someone I meet has such information about them online. And most teens I know don’t care either. It’s probably a generational thing and I don’t know if it’s actually problematic or just uncomfortable for people that grew up different/are more private.

The only generational thing about it is not admitting it is a problem. I am a high school teacher and just this month I overheard a conversation where students were implying they knew something person about him and were making what seemed like threats about it. Bullying still exists.

Edited February 25, 2020 by Ali

[nokidsmom]

9 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

While I think that is definitely TMI and I am a private person that values the right to control your online presence, I do think for many people u25 this is just the new normal

I grew up way before the days of the internets, and I realize that this is a new normal for many people but somehow I would not be comfortable with posting about my kids, and no way would I post about their toilet training.   The way I see it, once you put this stuff out there, you lose control over it.   I would hate to have my kid come back at me years down the line angry that I posted about their potty training or anything else that turned out to be embarrassing or have a negative impact.

ETA: I fully admit I am more sensitive to this because I endured a good amount of bullying as a kid.  I don't even want to think about how much worse it would have been if my tormentors could get more information online to use against me.   I have a niece who posts nearly everything about her kids online.  I am waiting for the day that some of what she puts out there comes back to bite in some way or another.

 

Edited February 25, 2020 by nokidsmom

[just_ordinary]

19 minutes ago, Ali said:

The only generational thing about it is not admitting it is a problem. I am a high school teacher and just this month I overheard a conversation where students were implying they knew something person about him and were making what seemed like threats about it. Bullying still exists.

I never said bullying doesn’t exist anymore??? 

But I doubt that a few sentences about potty training are the topic most will harp on.

[catlady]

but it's something that bullies can find by googling their victims.  the popular kids in my middle school made the rounds of picking on the non-popular kids, me included; if the internet and social media existed in the 70s and 80s, I can only imagine how much worse it would have been for us if those kids could find my parents' info from a dozen years earlier.

[Screamapillar]

Back in my day you had to have a friend's parent volunteer embarrassing childhood stories. Today they're all posting it online. Making embarrassing story material entirely to accessible for their small children's future classmates and friends. 

Was I a bully as a preteen? No. But when my friend's mother told me an incredibly embarrassing childhood story about a potty accident did I bring it up and laugh about it for days? I sure did. I look back on that now and realize that I was not being a good friend. But I was a kid, and my brain wasn't fully formed yet. Social media oversharing is like tossing gasoline on the fire of bullying. 

Edited February 25, 2020 by Screamapillar

[freethemall]

16 hours ago, VineHeart137 said:

Stopped by because I was curious to see what other people thought of how cavalier Alyssa is when talking about her daughter's toilet habits and I see there's already a discussion ongoing. She has another post mentioning how Lexi "pooped in her panties" twice today. It struck me as an odd thing to tell the world but maybe I'm being uptight? I know she is a public figure but I feel her children deserve for some parts of their lives to remain private.

I think it's the language she uses, which is surprisingly blunt - the difference between "she pooped her panties" and "she had an accident" is vast. Plus, I dont know about other people but I dont want anyone thinking about my kid's panties, theres a lot of sickos out there.

[meep]

14 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

While I think that is definitely TMI and I am a private person that values the right to control your online presence, I do think for many people u25 this is just the new normal. And honestly- I don’t care if someone I meet has such information about them online. And most teens I know don’t care either. It’s probably a generational thing and I don’t know if it’s actually problematic or just uncomfortable for people that grew up different/are more private.

They are going to feel its impact much more years down the line. 

[kmachete14]

I’ve posted about this before. I’m 26. 
 

People around my age LOVE hunting down old photos and posting them. I wish I had more. Posting naked baby pics of yourself is a “cute” thing to do. Throwback Thursdays and Flashback Fridays is a thing on social media. The more awkward/ silly/ candid the photo the better. 
 

This trend has been going on since I was in high school. I don’t even know what you would be bullied for ... “haha you had a bowl cut! You peed your pants while being potty trained! You took a bath with your cousins! You played naked in a mud puddle!” Those are the moments people WANT to share. It’s not considered embarrassing, it’s like a contest!

I wish my mom kept a chronological log of my life like Alyssa is going to have here with her kids. 
 

Things may change in a generation but right now this stuff is totally “normal” (Alyssa is far from the only mom doing this.) 

I teach fifth grade and we even have a little project where the kids bring in hilarious baby photos and guess who is who. 
 

This is just my experience and what I see from millennials and gen z.