Lori Alexander 52: Looking for Debt-free Virgins Without Tatoos

[klein_roeschen]

I just read her since I came to FJ a jew months ago, but I have the feeling that with her tattoo post that got viral last week she is on a downward spiral. Like with all the new attention she is going more hatefull, so she doesn't loose this attention and she didn't care from what cesspool this attention comes, as long as she getting it. She didn't care with whom she will be associated, as long as they stroke her ego. If she drops death today, that will be how she is remembered, as a hatefull, vile shrew. I can't imagine how this can be a goal for life.

[Sarah92]

I'm guessing calling men Betas is a MRA thing as Micheal Witcoff did in reply to Davies' comment. I have no idea what reality these men live in because protestant/evangelical pastors say things about women all the time. Hello, John Piper said women shouldn't teach at seminaries and the list goes on and on. Even my old pastor suggested to me that I should pretend I can't do something, like open a pickle jar, so I can make my husband feel needed. He said this after telling me that I have a strong personality, essentially implying I might make a man feel unneeded with my independent ways. Unfortunately for him, I worked at a restaurant and now know 4-5 different ways to open a jar. 

It's like these guys want women to constantly be brought low by the church. They insist that the church has to put women in their place and make sure they're sufficiently criticized.  Goodness forbid a woman feel good about herself or does something that doesn't make a man happy. 

P.S. Lori's post has fueled me to continue to move forward with that tattoos I've been thinking about for some time. I got three of them essentially priced out on Thursday. 

[Marly]

10 hours ago, ladyicantxplain said:

If anyone needs me to explain "the rationalization hamster" I'll gladly do so, however, it's super-easy to google.  It is the "trademark" of the MRA; trademark symbol in quote is mine.

I made the mistake of thinking I could quickly look this up and then get started on my thesis work for today. The first hit on google was the urban dictionary, and that definition got me so upset (both angry and sad) that I couldn't stop thinking about it and had to postpone beginning (or rather continuing) working on my thesis for an hour -__- 
Basically, they perceive the rationalization hamster as a cognitive tool "liberal women" use to excuse behavior that women-hating men consider to be irrational. But in actuality, it is a way critical-thinking-impaired women-hating men use to justify their own otherwise injustifiable vile and ignorant beliefs about what is and what is not acceptable behavior for women.
MRA's and their beliefs make my blood boil. To calm myself down, I made a meme, and found another good one too.
Top one is mine, bottom one found somewhere on google images.

 

 

 

Spoiler

 

 

Spoiler

 

[FullOfGravy]

1 hour ago, Sarah92 said:

I'm guessing calling men Betas is a MRA thing as Micheal Witcoff did in reply to Davies' comment.

I feel like it may have started with the pick-up artists and their promises to teach men to be "alpha-males" who get all the girls, and then spread to overlapping groups of misogynistic assholes.  And, of course, anyone who isn't an in-charge alpha is nothing but a wimpy beta.

 

2 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Even my old pastor suggested to me that I should pretend I can't do something, like open a pickle jar, so I can make my husband feel needed. He said this after telling me that I have a strong personality, essentially implying I might make a man feel unneeded with my independent ways.

Ugh.  I was once told that my tendency to speak up and contribute ideas in meetings is "intimidating".  I guess I'm supposed to sit pretty and take notes, and swallow any thoughts of my own, lest all those alpha-males get scared by a woman who knows as much as they do.  SO glad I don't have to deal with that nonsense now.

[HoneyBunny]

1 hour ago, FullOfGravy said:

Ugh.  I was once told that my tendency to speak up and contribute ideas in meetings is "intimidating".  I guess I'm supposed to sit pretty and take notes, and swallow any thoughts of my own, lest all those alpha-males get scared by a woman who knows as much as they do.  SO glad I don't have to deal with that nonsense now.

Ugh here too. That’s been the story of my life.  I am strong and I am smart and I am capable. I was fairly convinced I wouldn’t ever marry, or wouldn’t marry for years, because I refused to downplay my abilities.  And then I met my husband, who looked at my untelligence with a sense of pride and awe (eg “Can you believe someone so intelligent has agreed to go out with/marry ME?”). He wasn’t the least bit threatened. I was a goner. 

Decades later, I have to laugh at the jar opening ruise. After a fall that crushed both his wrists and my lupus diagnosis, it too often takes two of us working together to open jars. We can’t help but laugh about it. 

[wallysmommy]

My family's reunion should be a West Virginia hooting good time of judgment when my Lori-following part of the family has to interact with the divorced, remarried (some with multiple marriages), tattooed, living in sin, probably have debt, college-educated, multi-religious beliefs, woman preacher part of the family.  But I do think there's some compartmentalization going on.  They condemn the anonymous others, but ignore the same "ungodliness" within their own family.  I am much more comfortable with my "ungodly" cousins than the "holier-than-thou" ones.  If only they'd bring an ice chest of beer to the reunion things would be much more fun (sigh).

Edited to add:  Maybe next year they should invite Jill Rod and family, except we don't have enough money to provide a love offering.  It would only be a 50 or so mile trip to the state park where the reunion is held.

[polecat]

16 hours ago, fluffy said:

I can't imagine why Lori and Ken weren't better received at the church! She written about oral sex, somehow applicable to swimwear in her pea brain, and whether it is skanky to wax or shave your nether parts. For the record, it is. 

Lori, you need to keep your big nose out of other people's genitals.

[delphinium65]

2 minutes ago, polecat said:

Lori, you need to keep your big nose out of other people's genitals.

Kinky.  Not that I object to kinky...Lori's the one making a big deal out of everything...but now I need brain bleach for that mental image, because Lori is in it!    

[louisa05]

2 hours ago, FullOfGravy said:

Ugh.  I was once told that my tendency to speak up and contribute ideas in meetings is "intimidating".  I guess I'm supposed to sit pretty and take notes, and swallow any thoughts of my own, lest all those alpha-males get scared by a woman who knows as much as they do.  SO glad I don't have to deal with that nonsense now.

This was on the list of reasons I would never get married that I was entertained with at lunch every day at the Christian school. Other items on the list: 

*I cut my hair to a chin length bob. (Men prefer long hair and won't date or marry anyone with short hair. Except Mr. 05 dated and married me with my hair that exact length)

*I didn't have a nice enough car. (Getting a nice enough one would have put me in debt, and Lori said that is bad...I'm so confused). 

*I didn't craft. (Still don't. Mr. 05 is certain that this has no impact on his life whatsoever). 

*I didn't know how to cook. (Except that I did)

*I was too smart. (A man would not be able to "lead" me). 

*My legs were too long. (This automatically made me immodest unless wearing long baggy pants or very loose maxi skirts and men prefer modest women). 

*I drank too much coffee (no idea what that one was about). 

*I was "sickly". (Not after I got the hell out of that mold infested building and had a job with more work-life balance--or as much as you can manage as a teacher)

There are more. I'm sure I blocked out a lot of them. I sometimes remember one when I'm doing something that I either supposedly didn't do or  is something that I was supposedly doing wrong and thus repelling men. 

Oh, and we weren't allowed to have food in our classrooms at all. So if you wanted to eat, you had to eat in the staff lounge and listen to this shit or eat in the lunchroom with the kids and then get roped into supervision because you were there. And there was no reason for the rule other than forced socialization. 

 

[EowynW]

Vaughn Olman commented on today's post. 

[SilverBeach]

2 hours ago, HoneyBunny said:

Ugh here too. That’s been the story of my life.  I am strong and I am smart and I am capable. I was fairly convinced I wouldn’t ever marry, or wouldn’t marry for years, because I refused to downplay my abilities.  And then I met my husband, who looked at my untelligence with a sense of pride and awe (eg “Can you believe someone so intelligent has agreed to go out with/marry ME?”). He wasn’t the least bit threatened. I was a goner. 

Decades later, I have to laugh at the jar opening ruise. After a fall that crushed both his wrists and my lupus diagnosis, it too often takes two of us working together to open jars. We can’t help but laugh about it. 

Right on, my sister. I can really identify with your post. Mr. SB is not threatened by me in the least and says my intelligence is a turn-on.

1 hour ago, wallysmommy said:

hooting good time of judgment

LOLOLOL! Sounds like something Bro Gary would say.

[feministxtian]

2 hours ago, HoneyBunny said:

Ugh here too. That’s been the story of my life.  I am strong and I am smart and I am capable. I was fairly convinced I wouldn’t ever marry, or wouldn’t marry for years, because I refused to downplay my abilities.  And then I met my husband, who looked at my untelligence with a sense of pride and awe (eg “Can you believe someone so intelligent has agreed to go out with/marry ME?”). He wasn’t the least bit threatened. I was a goner. 

Decades later, I have to laugh at the jar opening ruise. After a fall that crushed both his wrists and my lupus diagnosis, it too often takes two of us working together to open jars. We can’t help but laugh about it. 

I didn't need a church to tell me that shit...the parents did. Too smart, too "big" (at the time, 5'3", 135lbs, muscular/athletic build), "walked like a guy" (that ended when a friend of the mother's said my walk could make a grown man cry), not interested in "feminine" things (whatever that means), didn't wear make up, and then point blank, "too ugly", "too bossy", "intimidating"...etc. So, I crawled into a shell, twisted myself into a shell of a person, subconsciously went after men who treated me like shit, including my now husband. Then, a few years ago, I decided that all that shit needed to go (it was about the time the mother died) and found that forceful, intimidating bitch that had been living inside me for years and let her out to play. Told the hub how it was going to be and if he didn't like it he was welcome to hit the door. 

Turns out the hubs is REALLY turned on by that. He loves telling people how I make more money than he does, that I work in an engineering field (or just tells them I'm an engineer because trying to explain mechanical design takes too long) and thinks my short, now chubby, no make up self is quite hot. 

I used to open all the jars but since my accident I don't have the hand strength. 

[louisa05]

1 minute ago, feministxtian said:

I didn't need a church to tell me that shit...the parents did. Too smart, too "big" (at the time, 5'3", 135lbs, muscular/athletic build), "walked like a guy" (that ended when a friend of the mother's said my walk could make a grown man cry), not interested in "feminine" things (whatever that means), didn't wear make up, and then point blank, "too ugly", "too bossy", "intimidating"...etc. So, I crawled into a shell, twisted myself into a shell of a person, subconsciously went after men who treated me like shit, including my now husband. Then, a few years ago, I decided that all that shit needed to go (it was about the time the mother died) and found that forceful, intimidating bitch that had been living inside me for years and let her out to play. Told the hub how it was going to be and if he didn't like it he was welcome to hit the door. 

Turns out the hubs is REALLY turned on by that. He loves telling people how I make more money than he does, that I work in an engineering field (or just tells them I'm an engineer because trying to explain mechanical design takes too long) and thinks my short, now chubby, no make up self is quite hot. 

I used to open all the jars but since my accident I don't have the hand strength. 

Oh, that reminded me of another theme in the teacher's lounge game of "why Louisa will never get married": 

I was not feminine enough, either. And that had to be the damn dumbest one. I am a textbook girly girl. I read Vogue. I love clothes and purses and nail polish. I have so much lipstick that on four different occasions in recent memory, I have accidentally purchased a second of the same shade without realizing I already had it (not as a replacement--but literally thinking I was acquiring a new one). I like sparkly things especially if they are jewelry. I love me some pink. I currently have a pinkish phone (Apple's rose gold) with a clear cover so you can see the pink. A pink purse. A Kindle with a pink case. Pink pens. A pink travel cup for coffee. Children in elementary classrooms say to me with as much sarcasm as 3rd graders can muster, "gee, Mrs. 05, do you like pink or what?". And I like small children and stuffies and cooking and baking and flowery stuff and pretty much every stereotypically girly thing but crafting. 

So why was I not feminine enough for these people? Because I love baseball and understand it. And I understand football enough to have an intelligent conversation about it. Women who understand sports are not feminine enough no matter what else they do. And, of course, no guy is going to want a woman who actually enjoys watching a game with him. Of course not. 

Although, ironically, Mr. 05 does not watch any sport but a little college football and never understood much of what he was watching until I came along and started explaining it to him. 

[feministxtian]

I have never read Vogue. I have never read a romance novel. I have never watched a "chick flick". I love football and hockey. My phone has a black and gold Kate Spade cover. My tablet cover is blue/white. My car is race red. I'm NOT a girly-girl with the possible exception of the bi-weekly mani/pedi/wax. I spent most of my life in jeans, concert t-shirts and tennis shoes. 

The mother assumed that my clothing choices indicated my sexual preferences. Dumb bitch didn't realize that being a car nut was great for meeting guys...I mean, wanna meet a guy? Go to where they are! 

[delphinium65]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

Vaughn Olman commented on today's post. 

And here I thought he had crawled back into the woodwork from whence he came...isn't he the one who said kids should get married shortly after their first stirring of interest in the opposite sex to 'avoid fornication'?

[ladyicantxplain]

40 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

So, I crawled into a shell, twisted myself into a shell of a person, subconsciously went after men who treated me like shit, including my now husband. Then, a few years ago, I decided that all that shit needed to go (it was about the time the mother died) and found that forceful, intimidating bitch that had been living inside me for years and let her out to play. Told the hub how it was going to be and if he didn't like it he was welcome to hit the door. 

This.

Men respect THIS.  Not a mousy, silent, worthless-thinking rug on the floor woman.

Good for you.

 

[feministxtian]

I wish I had recorded the epic blasting I gave the hubs that one day. I had reached my limit and had a few weeks and a good therapist to find that bitch that lived inside me. There were actually 3 epic blasts I gave him. He was a captive audience for all three of them. There was no way to get away from me. He found out real quick how it was going to be. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Her latest doodle on facebook says virtuous women don't get angry at older women trying to teach them. In other words, if you don't like what Lori teaches, you aren't virtuous. 

[louisa05]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

I have never read Vogue. I have never read a romance novel. I have never watched a "chick flick". I love football and hockey. My phone has a black and gold Kate Spade cover. My tablet cover is blue/white. My car is race red. I'm NOT a girly-girl with the possible exception of the bi-weekly mani/pedi/wax. I spent most of my life in jeans, concert t-shirts and tennis shoes. 

The mother assumed that my clothing choices indicated my sexual preferences. Dumb bitch didn't realize that being a car nut was great for meeting guys...I mean, wanna meet a guy? Go to where they are! 

My pink purse is Kate Spade. I believe knowing who Kate Spade is (at least pre-suicide) is a wee bit girly.

One of the things I have dealt with my entire fucking life since I was a teen is the persistent stereotype that I can't possibly be smart, like to read, be well educated, or understand a single thing about any sport because I am also a girly girl. And that has come from non-churchy people. Two very butch lesbians (their own self-description, ftr) I was in a grad literature course with once stared at me incredulously in a small group discussion because I made an intelligent contribution about the topic. Then one said the following: "none of us thought you were very smart or were even reading the books, cause, well, look at you with the hair done and the skirts and all". 

In my  undergrad college years, I often resorted to trying to hide my innate preference for girly things so I could be taken seriously. 

With men, it has been incredulous looks when I know what an ERA is or can identify a penalty in football before the flag is thrown because "you don't look like the type of woman who would get sports". 

There are a lot of damaging stereotypes related to gender both in and out of the church world. 

[klein_roeschen]

13 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Her latest doodle on facebook says virtuous women don't get angry at older women trying to teach them. In other words, if you don't like what Lori teaches, you aren't virtuous. 

Actualy, coming from her I see that as compliment. She can stuff her kind of virtuous where the sun never shines

I have long hair I wore mostly in an complicated looking braid, wich I do blindly in the morning while sipping my coffee. I love maxi skirts and maxi dresses and my secret addiction is nailpolish. I'm overweight, but are curvy with wide hips and large breasts. I drive a little, girly car. But since I'm half an inch short of 6 feet, don't wear make up, are able to carry heavy stuff when needed and don't let people give me shit, I'm not feminine in the eyes of some people, too. I'm single, so something must have to be wrong with me. But I'm happy with being single. If I someday meet Mr. Röschen, that would be nice. But I don't will become desperate if I won't met him. I will perfectly happy becoming the crazy dog lady

[feministxtian]

You should see the looks on people's faces when I start talking about cars, sports or the space program. There's "but you're a girl" comments...

I can't talk about "classic literature" because I've never been able to force myself to read it. I know very few pop culture references because I'm not into it. I've never seen an episode of popular TV shows (Seinfeld, Friends, Gilmore Girls), I prefer geek documentaries and podcasts. The mother was shocked that our house in VA was decorated "so tastefully". I tend to live inside my head. Its interesting in there, full of ideas, designs, how to do certain things...

 

 

1 minute ago, klein_roeschen said:

But since I'm half an inch short of 6 feet, don't wear make up, are able to carry heavy stuff when needed and don't let people give me shit, I'm not feminine in the eyes of some people, too.

You're a "good German girl" according to my beloved grandmother...she had NOTHING nice to say about the little skinny girls at all. 

[wallysmommy]

My bestie and I play the ditzy blonde pretty well sometimes so that people underestimate us and we can annihilate them at their own game.  We're both highly educated, savvy, smart, and wear great shoes.  Lori would be highly disapproving that cleavage shows --  you can't help it when the boobs start almost at your chin, and I'm not wearing a turtleneck on my short-necked body in 95 degree South Louisiana weather for the sake of "modesty."

[louisa05]

@feministxtian The two subjects that have been mansplained to me most in my life are baseball and history. I have forgotten more about baseball than most of the mansplainers ever knew and I'm 3 hours short of a master's degree in history. 

I had lunch with a pretty conservative friend on Thursday and she brought up how much she hates the term "mansplain" because of how it persecutes the poor persecuted men. I gave her some examples of mansplaining I have experienced and she realized that she had experienced mansplaining quite often. Then she said that maybe she just "doesn't go looking for sexism". Uh, yeah, no one does, sweetie. Doesn't mean some men aren't being sexist. 

[feministxtian]

2 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

@feministxtian The two subjects that have been mansplained to me most in my life are baseball and history. I have forgotten more about baseball than most of the mansplainers ever knew and I'm 3 hours short of a master's degree in history. 

I had lunch with a pretty conservative friend on Thursday and she brought up how much she hates the term "mansplain" because of how it persecutes the poor persecuted men. I gave her some examples of mansplaining I have experienced and she realized that she had experienced mansplaining quite often. Then she said that maybe she just "doesn't go looking for sexism". Uh, yeah, no one does, sweetie. Doesn't mean some men aren't being sexist. 

I've been "mansplained" on feminism and white privilege more times than I care to count. I finally told said man that the minute he became a minority female he could talk to me, until then he had absolutely no frame of reference. 

[klein_roeschen]

13 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

My bestie and I play the ditzy blonde pretty well sometimes so that people underestimate us and we can annihilate them at their own game.  We're both highly educated, savvy, smart, and wear great shoes.  Lori would be highly disapproving that cleavage shows --  you can't help it when the boobs start almost at your chin, and I'm not wearing a turtleneck on my short-necked body in 95 degree South Louisiana weather for the sake of "modesty."

My approach to "tempting" is just to ignore it. People and men esp will look, as long as they don't stare like a creep and don't give me unwanted creepy "compliments", they can look. And I will not select my clothes to the modesty standards of some oversexed and underfucked nuts. Tomorow afternoon I will be at my favorite lake and half the people there will be completly naked or topless and no one will care or stare.

@feministxtian I will rise my beer in a salute to your beloved grandmother, she sounds like a woman I would have liked!