Lori Alexander 52: Looking for Debt-free Virgins Without Tatoos

[Hashtag Blessed]

2 hours ago, louisa05 said:

I didn't craft. (Still don't. Mr. 05 is certain that this has no impact on his life whatsoever).

I’m sorry but this one really tickles me. No dude in my entire life had ever expressed interest in or appreciation for a woman who crafts. That’s not really a thing. Usually they’ll be mildly impressed or glad that you’ve got a hobby you enjoy, like “oh, you knit? That’s cool,” but if a man is like “oh, she’s really great and I like her and all, but I’m really looking for a woman who can make a decent scrap book so we’re just not going to work in the long run,” then he is seriously disturbed.

“Yeah, she’s hot and we have tons in common but she’s never bedazzled a jacket so she’s just not wife material.

”I love her and the sex is fantastic, but she only ever uses store bought party favors! I need a woman who can hand-make some Pinterest inspired tchotchkes for every event she hosts. It breaks my heart, but I gotta dump her.”

 

[louisa05]

@Hashtag Blessed  Me reading this post, because I never understood that one, either: 

 

Spoiler

 

[Alisamer]

24 minutes ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

I’m sorry but this one really tickles me. No dude in my entire life had ever expressed interest in or appreciation for a woman who crafts. That’s not really a thing. Usually they’ll be mildly impressed or glad that you’ve got a hobby you enjoy, like “oh, you knit? That’s cool,” but if a man is like “oh, she’s really great and I like her and all, but I’m really looking for a woman who can make a decent scrap book so we’re just not going to work in the long run,” then he is seriously disturbed.

I'd think there are probably plenty of men who wish their wives didn't craft! The "don't you have enough yarn?" and "how many watercolor palettes do you need?" guys. I've met plenty of men who appreciate crafting skills, but I've never heard of that being a requirement for marriage. I do think a hobby is a great thing for most people, though. 

i am multi-craftual. My dad is one of those men who is always building and fixing things, and he and his buddy have been restoring tractors. I am their go- to decal applyer once the painting is finished, so I spent my morning today applying decals to a Massey-Ferguson tractor. I'm not sure that counts as girly. 

[Hashtag Blessed]

10 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I'd think there are probably plenty of men who wish their wives didn't craft! The "don't you have enough yarn?" and "how many watercolor palettes do you need?" guys. I've met plenty of men who appreciate crafting skills, but I've never heard of that being a requirement for marriage. I do think a hobby is a great thing for most people, though. 

i am multi-craftual. My dad is one of those men who is always building and fixing things, and he and his buddy have been restoring tractors. I am their go- to decal applyer once the painting is finished, so I spent my morning today applying decals to a Massey-Ferguson tractor. I'm not sure that counts as girly. 

No of course not! It has to be a girly, feminine, non-threatening craft! Restoring tractors is too masculine. If you do that in front of a man you’ll make his man-bits shrivel up and fall off! No no no, better to stick to smearing glitter on  small animal figurines. Or maybe turning arbitrary household items into chalkboards. Although that one might create a product that has too much utility... you know what, just sew some scrap fabric stuff! That’s soft and feminine and mostly useless. Just remember: penises do useful jobs, vaginas do decorative crafts. Okay, sweetheart? 

(For the record, I love crafting. I knit, and paint and do all sorts of artsy things. But I hate that that somehow validates the existence of my genitalia in some people’s eyes.)

[FullOfGravy]

1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

The two subjects that have been mansplained to me most in my life are baseball and history. I have forgotten more about baseball than most of the mansplainers ever knew and I'm 3 hours short of a master's degree in history.

I have a degree in theoretical linguistics, and another one in cognitive linguistics.  For some reason, the phrase "I'm a linguist" seems to trigger an overwhelming compulsion in some men to teach me all about how languages and brains work.

Yes, honey, I've heard of the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis.
Yes, I'm aware that Inuktitut does not actually have 50 words for snow.
No, I don't agree that Latin was a superior language.  No, neither was classical Greek.
No, I don't know the etymology of that random word off the top of my head.  Clearly I'm a fake because I don't know it while you do (this one is a real favourite from guys who don't actually know what linguists do.  Hint: most of us don't memorize etymological dictionaries).

[ladyicantxplain]

My husband has "crafted" genitalia out of ground beef in a saute' pan before, but that's about as "crafty" as he gets.  

He could not care less if I "craft", though I love to fix things, do photography, write, paint, draw...etc. 

One time during The United Pentecostal Church of America years, I learned to sew.  Still have the most hideous skirts ever sewn, hanging somewhere in the recesses of the closet.

Who are the men and women who THINK these things qualify as "femininity?"

 

Mercy of God.

 

I'm a tiny little woman who knows how to put on a cedar shake roof, because I was the only child of a carpenter.

THAT is useful femininity.

[polecat]

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

I'd think there are probably plenty of men who wish their wives didn't craft! The "don't you have enough yarn?"

I'll thank you to leave Mr. Polecat out of this! 

Ackshally ... his mom was a huge crafter, so he kind of gets it. Doesn't mean he likes my yarn obsession, but he gets it.

[Sarah92]

My favorite way to open a jar which has worked with both plastic and metal: take a sharp knife (used all sizes with realitive success, I've found larger/longer knives work better) and gently bounce the back of it at a slight angle on the rim of the lid. This forces the lid to turn. Of course hold it away from yourself and be careful. Do this while staring into the eyes of any man who dared underestimate your abilities. A safer alternative would be wrapping a rubber band around the lid for increased grip but not as dramatic nor terrifying. 

I've always been told that I should smile more.. A lot of people think I hate them when I first meet them because I'm straight-faced and quiet. I'm just an introvert with a resting bitch face. I'm also not super externally emotional which puts some people off. The whole women argue from emotions doesn't work on me because "bitch, I barely feel emotions, what are you talking about?" 

A couple years back when I was working at the hated restuarant we got a new dish washer/delievery guy that I had actually graduated with from highschool. I was working on my masters at the time. I heard him and the pizza guy (who was a giant douche canoe) giggling and whispering over something on the other side of the kitchen. Dish guy comes up to me a minute later with the sandwhich baskets and says "here you go sandwich girl!". I whipped around, grabbed the baskets, looked him in the eye and with a low voice told him to never call me that again. I saw his eyes go wide and he scurried away. They planned on calling me a degrading name for their own amusement. I'm sure they were trying to take advantage of my quiet nature thinking I wouldn't say anything. I rarely pull out my command voice, as I call it, but if I do its because someone has done some shit and I am not happy. 

My book shelf in my apartment is loaded with psych books, religious text books, and my everyday reading. And its also littered with "girly"  things like stuffed animals, cute boxes, flowers, and used to hold my nail polishes. Its a reminder to the fact that one can be typically feminine and still be intelligent. A fuck you to society really. 

[wild little fox]

Maybe I've missed the posts but I've never read anything by Lori or Ken about how much they love each other. I see no kindness, tenderness, or fondness for one another expressed. Everything they write seems to be on the lines of how they both are miserable in a marriage they don't want to be in and they can't get out of because their god hates divorce. How is any of that even remotely good teachings? Yes, let's look to Ken and Lori for their example of a godly joyless life. No, thank you. 

[HoneyBunny]

Mr. Buns loves that I sew, not because he gives a fig if I sew, more that I am very handy at mending. And, interestingly, due to my sewing (I’ve made all the draperies and valences and even the couple of slipcovers in our house), I’m extremely handy at wood working. Just this week we repurposed our old redwood railing into a half wall that hides our garbage cans. The two of us worked together to maximize the lumber, which involved a lot of measuring and planning. 45 years of sewing really helped with that. 

[Frog99]

11 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Even my old pastor suggested to me that I should pretend I can't do something, like open a pickle jar, so I can make my husband feel needed. He said this after telling me that I have a strong personality, essentially implying I might make a man feel unneeded with my independent ways.

My conservative Christian father used to tell us (sisters and I) that he wanted us to be independent, able to think for ourselves, and able to take care of ourselves (he also said that we were expected to get at minimum a 4 year degree to have as the foundation for whatever we felt led to do in life). He and my mother (they have been married for almost 55 years) stressed that we shouldn’t marry someone because we felt like that’s what was expected, or out of a need to have someone care for us or out of fear that we might not find anyone else. 

DH and I have been  married for almost 20 years. He recently said there could not be a more perfect woman for him. 

[feministxtian]

Mr. Xtian is the more crafty/artsy one. He does these incredibly intricate cross stitch stuff, draws, does models, has a better eye for decorating and all that stuff. He's a fantastic carpenter too. But, don't ever ask him to fix a car or a computer...he's useless. 

I can sew, crochet, enjoy watercolor painting, cross stitch, and needlepoint, but I have to be in the mood. Once we move and things quiet down, I'm going to dig out the space themed cross stitch patterns I had and get busy. I have one that's like Earthrise with an LM on the surface of the moon. 

He wasn't much of a sports fan when we got together...then he ran into my daughter, the football fiend from HELL. He learned all about football from her...a then 14 year old little girl. 

Hubs will admit in a minute I'm smarter than he is, and he says it gives him something to try to live up to. It's nice to be with someone who has no problem when my brains and geek come out to play. 

[FundieCentral]

I don’t really craft... I tried to scrapbook once, bought 80$ worth of supplies, and then gave up soon after. I don’t even know where those things are. But I love the idea, still  I can also sew on a button because life skills. But that’s it. I don’t bake bread, I don’t do fashion, I don’t paint or draw or make jewelry... photography bores me to no end, I’d rather kill myself than spend hours in the kitchen, and a household helper will be the first thing I’ll spend money on once I can afford it. Basically, I’m a failure of a woman. 

But: what really may save me are my household management skills. Honestly you guys, I just love household management. I love making a budget, a chore list, organizing a household, making a calendar, etc etc. If my career doesn’t work out, I’ll become a professional organizer. 

Maybe I’ll just about pass Lori’s test for adequacy. Like... a D+ maybe? I paint my toenails all the time though, maybe that bumps me up to a C-??? 

Questions over questions. 

[EowynW]

4 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I'd think there are probably plenty of men who wish their wives didn't craft! The "don't you have enough yarn?" and "how many watercolor palettes do you need?" guys. I've met plenty of men who appreciate crafting skills, but I've never heard of that being a requirement for marriage. I do think a hobby is a great thing for most people, though. 

i am multi-craftual. My dad is one of those men who is always building and fixing things, and he and his buddy have been restoring tractors. I am their go- to decal applyer once the painting is finished, so I spent my morning today applying decals to a Massey-Ferguson tractor. I'm not sure that counts as girly. 

Mr EW is currently driving us to the city so I can roam the craft stores and make a couple of cheap drop spindles.  

[Briefly]

I was never overly feminine or girl. I like dresses and skirts, and I also like to wear pants.  I basically live in jeans. I don't wear make up, I used to buy after my pregnancy my skin became even more sensitive and I couldn't find any at all that didn't set my allergies off so I just go without it and don't miss it.

My parents didn't push college, although they didn't discourage it either. But they both wanted us to be able to survive on our own. So we learned to cook, basic repair stuff, etc.

I am very crafty, my mom probably would have been but never had the time.  Until I was in 6th grade and took home ec, where I learned to crochet.  I taught her and then she discovered her crafty gene and let herself go! I'm addicted to crochet and I do a variety of different crafts.

Mr. Briefly is an electronics engineer and has always built things.  He's pretty crafty, too. He is also (because he's an engineer!) very much the do-it-himself type because he is such a perfectionist and doesn't necessarily like to have other people make/build/fix things for us although he is beginning to realize that he has limits as he gets older.

Our daughter had no choice in being crafty, she kind of grew up surrounded by it!

And yes, sometimes I do have to ask for help with pickle jars.  Sometimes I can open them, but not always.  So Mr. Briefly says he knows he's still safe, since I do sometimes still need help with that!

[Sarah92]

The Christian Right is a foul page and of course they just love Lori. She just attracts the loveliest people many of whom have a murderous  bent. 

I don't agree with abortion but I want a systematic reduction of it through education, alleviation of poverty, birth control, and access to good health care. They'd just rather kill women. 

I actually learned how to braid hair from my dad and he gave me the most fashion advice. He makes a great apple pie as well. He recently start playing around with beading and I now have two DesignsbyDad bracelets as I call them. 

[fluffy]

40 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

The Christian Right is a foul page and of course they just love Lori. She just attracts the loveliest people many of whom have a murderous  bent. 

 

First of all, I suspect Angela Lansbury, performing as Jessica Fletcher in Murder She Wrote - lol, might be surprised to see her award-winning face here.

Secondly, none of these women haters surprise me. This might as well be something from the Taliban. Give it a Christian spit shine and it's still just misogyny. This kind of propaganda has not one single thing to do with "saving babies" or promoting a "culture of life." That would involve education, health care, eradicating poverty, and so on. You just have to wonder what the hell the world is coming to. Last night on tv, I heard a political ad and the revolting candidate was bragging he had support of the national right to life group AND the NRA. The mind boggles at how people reconcile those two agendas. 

[Hisey]

Lori's IG post about her "happy hour" puzzled me. Who invites relatives over and serves them bread and butter? The whole thing seemed like a setup to get people to admire her bread. Kind of like a "Bread Show" or something.

Lori: Hi, Aunt Jane. Help yourself to something to eat. [nudges bread forward]

Aunt: Thanks. Oh, is that your bread that you've been talking about?

Lori: Why, yes, yes it is. It is Eikhorn bread, only takes 18 hours to make and it is SO DELICIOUS. And easy! The 18 hours just whiz by. Try some. [Aunt takes a bite, Lori zooms in] How is it?

Aunt (politely): It's very good. [looks around in vain for some more food]. 

Lori: You should make some for Uncle.

Aunt: Well, the hospital keeps me pretty busy, so I don't know if. . . 

Lori [turns away in disgust]. Uncle, did you try my Eik. . . 

Uncle: What? Yes, very good. 

Lori: [cheerfully] Well, at least in this house you can get some wholesome, nourishing food! 

Uncle to Aunt (in undertone): Is this all there is to eat? 

Aunt to Uncle (in undertone): I think so. [pause] Just have another slice for now, and we can go out for pizza later.

Lori posting on her FB the next day, "My relatives LOVED my bread. They thought it was the best bread they ever had. My aunt and uncle had never eaten Eikhorn bread before--I introduced them to it. My uncle had several slices, he LOVED it so much! If my aunt makes it for him -- she works out of the home, so I'm not sure if she will -- I am sure it will cure his male-pattern baldness and rosacea"

 

 

[Sarah92]

56 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Lori's IG post about her "happy hour" puzzled me. Who invites relatives over and serves them bread and butter? The whole thing seemed like a setup to get people to admire her bread. Kind of like a "Bread Show" or something.

Lori: Hi, Aunt Jane. Help yourself to something to eat. [nudges bread forward]

Aunt: Thanks. Oh, is that your bread that you've been talking about?

Lori: Why, yes, yes it is. It is Eikhorn bread, only takes 18 hours to make and it is SO DELICIOUS. And easy! The 18 hours just whiz by. Try some. [Aunt takes a bite, Lori zooms in] How is it?

Aunt (politely): It's very good. [looks around in vain for some more food]. 

Lori: You should make some for Uncle.

Aunt: Well, the hospital keeps me pretty busy, so I don't know if. . . 

Lori [turns away in disgust]. Uncle, did you try my Eik. . . 

Uncle: What? Yes, very good. 

Lori: [cheerfully] Well, at least in this house you can get some wholesome, nourishing food! 

Uncle to Aunt (in undertone): Is this all there is to eat? 

Aunt to Uncle (in undertone): I think so. [pause] Just have another slice for now, and we can go out for pizza later.

Lori posting on her FB the next day, "My relatives LOVED my bread. They thought it was the best bread they ever had. My aunt and uncle had never eaten Eikhorn bread before--I introduced them to it. My uncle had several slices, he LOVED it so much! If my aunt makes it for him -- she works out of the home, so I'm not sure if she will -- I am sure it will cure his male-pattern baldness and rosacea"

 

 

Wait does Lori really say it takes this long to make? Most recipes I've found say that it takes about 1 hour 45 mins and look no harder than the bread recipes I usually make. I enjoy making bread and have had people ask for me to teach them how to make it but I don't repost pictures of it a million times because that would be weird. I have no intention of watching her youtube video because they kinda freak me out idk why. But I feel like you're spot on with your description haha. I can imagine guests walking it hoping for snacks and liquor to help ease the pain of her company only to come it and find a lone loaf of bread on the table and a single bottle of wine (you know so everyone only has their portion). The guests then try to find a way out of the hell they just walked into. 

[Hisey]

12 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

Wait does Lori really say it takes this long to make? Most recipes I've found say that it takes about 1 hour 45 mins and look no harder than the bread recipes I usually make. I enjoy making bread and have had people ask for me to teach them how to make it but I don't repost pictures of it a million times because that would be weird. I have no intention of watching her youtube video because they kinda freak me out idk why. But I feel like you're spot on with your description haha. I can imagine guests walking it hoping for snacks and liquor to help ease the pain of her company only to come it and find a lone loaf of bread on the table and a single bottle of wine (you know so everyone only has their portion). The guests then try to find a way out of the hell they just walked into. 

I watched her original Eikhorn video (she has made a few update videos as well). It seemed to take her a day and a half. She makes the sponge then has to keep going back to it, for one reason or another. I think she has figured out a way to cut the time down a bit, since her original video. Still, it is not a quick process.

[Seahorse Wrangler]

1 hour ago, Hisey said:

L

Lori posting on her FB the next day, "My relatives LOVED my bread. They thought it was the best bread they ever had. My aunt and uncle had never eaten Eikhorn bread before--I introduced them to it. My uncle had several slices, he LOVED it so much! If my aunt makes it for him -- she works out of the home, so I'm not sure if she will -- I am sure it will cure his male-pattern baldness and rosacea"

 

 

They even ran out of lube and had to get one of those large barrels of pure Organic Grass Fed Butter Lubes that only cost $5,000 per application. Ken showed them how to order it..

[Sarah92]

So for Christmas do you think she gives her family jars of grilled cheese butter grease as homemade lotion? You know because she's so thrifty. 

[feministxtian]

@klein_roeschen My grandmother was a feminist before being a feminist was the thing. She emigrated from Germany to the US when she was about 18 years old. She had a third grade education, but the woman was BRILLIANT! She could talk about art, opera, politics, books, you name it. She did the New York Times crossword puzzle in PEN! 

She had this total take no prisoners, no bullshit attitude. I mean...don't mess with her, she'd shred you! She spoke 3 languages (German, English and Spanish). She would rip the mother a new one every time she'd say something shitty about me...I was "leibschein" (I can't spell it). I was the princess of all princesses, goddess of all goddesses and the only granddaughter worth talking about. She dissed my cousin for being "too American looking" and loved the "nice German peasant" granddaughter who LOOKED like she could kick ass and take names. I'm glad she lived long enough to see her first great grandchild. 

[klein_roeschen]

@feministxtian I would definitly have liked her and would have looked up to her as a role model! Since I don't know when she was born, but with a third grade education it's very likely she had a working class or lower farming class backround. Hard work from a young age was the norm, either in a factory or in the field. They had no use for the frail, feminine girls, because the sturdy ones got the work done. And such an evironment didn't raise a meek and quiet spirit either. And then there where 2 world wars, where a lot of men where away and the women had to take charge. I'm from a working class/ lower farming class backround and I'm proud that.

I would gess Leibchein either "Liebchen" wich is a loving form of darling or "Liebling" wich translate to beloved favorite.

[smittykins]

As a female Yankees fan, if I mentioned my favorite player(at the time)was Derek Jeter, I sometimes got “Of COURSE you like him—he’s HAWWT!*”. It couldn’t be because, you know, he was a good shortstop and an even better human being...

*not that I didn’t think he was good-looking, mind you...