Lori Alexander 52: Looking for Debt-free Virgins Without Tatoos

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

On 7/28/2018 at 8:30 AM, FullOfGravy said:

I was once told that my tendency to speak up and contribute ideas in meetings is "intimidating".  I guess I'm supposed to sit pretty and take notes, and swallow any thoughts of my own, lest all those alpha-males get scared by a woman who knows as much as they do. 

Did we work at the same company?

I was once told very emphatically in a performance review that I needed to stop setting meeting agendas, asking for progress reports, and cease keeping the meetings on track -- because the male team members didn't like it.  I replied I was the Sr. Project Mgr, I was responsible for the project, they were meetings I called, and that the men, like everyone else on the team, reported to me. 

Exactly was the reply. It's hard enough for them to report to a woman, much less  have to discuss work progress in a meeting in front of the whole team.  Let one of the male team members run the meetings and I could take notes.  I was told that if I absolutely had to discuss project progress with a male team member, it should be quietly in private. 

I was also told that if I had an idea in a planning meeting for future projects, I should quietly tell a male colleague and let him present the idea.  Because the men in the company dislike it when a woman has a better idea than they do.  And if I presented the idea/suggestion I was being aggressive and showing off.  The kicker was being told that I should be thankful if my idea was accepted even if credit went to someone else (male) because after all we're a team here and putting my idea into practice was what mattered, not that I got the credit because it was mine. 

At that moment I knew I was never going to move up in the company, because my work would never be recognized. It should come as no surprise that I began looking for a new job that night.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

22 hours ago, louisa05 said:

One of the things I have dealt with my entire fucking life since I was a teen is the persistent stereotype that I can't possibly be smart, like to read, be well educated, or understand a single thing about any sport because I am also a girly girl.

We are the same person!  I'm a pink-loving girly girl, who can cook, can, make jam and jelly, bake, make clothes, needlepoint embroider knit, is crafty, make-up, hair, nails, fashion, etc.  All the stereotypical things.

But then I'm smart, well- read, educated, study, understand basketball, and can figure out engineering/mechanical design problems in my head, know about cars, know how to use tools, can measure lumber needed for a job, know which kind of nails to use, paint and plaster, and do mental math (%s, add columns of figures, long division, etc. -- thanks Daddy for doing those math drills while I was growing up).

I worked with a man once who said a woman who looked like me shouldn't be so smart and it was disconcerting at best.  Because how were men supposed to treat me? How could a woman be pretty/ girly girl and smart at the same time?

Well ..... Mr. Dress figured it out.  He loves me the way I am and treats me like ........ umm ... a person with lots of talents.  Like an equal.

[feministxtian]

9 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

@feministxtian I would definitly have liked her and would have looked up to her as a role model! Since I don't know when she was born, but with a third grade education it's very likely she had a working class or lower farming class backround. Hard work from a young age was the norm, either in a factory or in the field. They had no use for the frail, feminine girls, because the sturdy ones got the work done. And such an evironment didn't raise a meek and quiet spirit either. And then there where 2 world wars, where a lot of men where away and the women had to take charge. I'm from a working class/ lower farming class backround and I'm proud that.

I would gess Leibchein either "Liebchen" wich is a loving form of darling or "Liebling" wich translate to beloved favorite.

My grandmother came here in either 1924 or 1926, so immediately post WW1. I remember her telling me of needing a wheelbarrow full of money to buy a loaf of bread. She was a seamstress here in the US. She went from a seamstress to the head of the department that did the buyer's samples. I still have a robe she made, even though it's wool and scratchy as hell. I would never wear it, I'd itch to death, but, ya know? 

My grandmother was anything BUT "meek and quiet". Her favorite name for people was "horse's ass". She had a laugh you could hear for miles, I swear it came from her toes. She was NOT "domestic" in any way, shape or form. She's been gone over 30 years now and not a day goes by that I don't think of her. In many ways I'm just like her and proud of it. 

[Emilycharlotte]

5 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

My grandmother came here in either 1924 or 1926, so immediately post WW1. I remember her telling me of needing a wheelbarrow full of money to buy a loaf of bread. She was a seamstress here in the US. She went from a seamstress to the head of the department that did the buyer's samples. I still have a robe she made, even though it's wool and scratchy as hell. I would never wear it, I'd itch to death, but, ya know? 

My grandmother was anything BUT "meek and quiet". Her favorite name for people was "horse's ass". She had a laugh you could hear for miles, I swear it came from her toes. She was NOT "domestic" in any way, shape or form. She's been gone over 30 years now and not a day goes by that I don't think of her. In many ways I'm just like her and proud of it. 

You should be, she sounds awesome! Knowing what you’ve gone through with your mother, it makes me happy that you had such a strong, loving role model—and that you were her “leibchen”!

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Did we work at the same company?

I was once told very emphatically in a performance review that I needed to stop setting meeting agendas, asking for progress reports, and cease keeping the meetings on track -- because the male team members didn't like it.  I replied I was the Sr. Project Mgr, I was responsible for the project, they were meetings I called, and that the men, like everyone else on the team, reported to me. 

Exactly was the reply. It's hard enough for them to report to a woman, much less  have to discuss work progress in a meeting in front of the whole team.  Let one of the male team members run the meetings and I could take notes.  I was told that if I absolutely had to discuss project progress with a male team member, it should be quietly in private. 

I was also told that if I had an idea in a planning meeting for future projects, I should quietly tell a male colleague and let him present the idea.  Because the men in the company dislike it when a woman has a better idea than they do.  And if I presented the idea/suggestion I was being aggressive and showing off.  The kicker was being told that I should be thankful if my idea was accepted even if credit went to someone else (male) because after all we're a team here and putting my idea into practice was what mattered, not that I got the credit because it was mine. 

At that moment I knew I was never going to move up in the company, because my work would never be recognized. It should come as no surprise that I began looking for a new job that night.

Please tell me this happened, like, 30 years ago??? Please? 

(Not that that makes it less horrible.)

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Nope.  It happened in 2011. 

[Emilycharlotte]

17 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Nope.  It happened in 2011. 

Wow. That is absolutely disgusting, and I’m so sorry. My workplace is 98% women, so I guess I’m out of touch—it was nice believing we were past that, but thanks for the reality check.  

[Sarah92]

I think my first blatant, non-subtle experience with sexism was a few years back where I made a comment on the Fox News Facebook page news story (I grew up watching it so I occasionally returned to it during my belief exploration phase)  about how happy I was that researchers got funding to study microaggressions in the stem sciences. They wanted to reduce microaggressions to potentially increased minority involvement in science. I followed it up with why it was important to  research this area. In my nativity, I thought no one could be unhappy with this research. Multiculturalism was one of my favorite areas of study so I was so excited. I was wrong.

Some old guy replied that "Pretty young girls should shut the fuck up and have more sex". Not one person of the 20 or so replies I got told him that  was not okay to say, instead people liked it. Another person went on to say that "maybe you'll get a grant for you and your lesbian girlfriend". They assumed that my sister,who was in my profile pic, was my girlfriend. I was told I was too educated to bake a boxed cake. etc. And then people proceeded to racially attack the one minority who shared his experience with me. 

And here I thought the right was all about family values. That was one of the last straw that pushed me away from that group. But hey I suppose I'm should be thankful the old guy called me pretty right? *rolls eyes*

[ladyicantxplain]

I've been at home for the past six years, but back when I was in the workforce, which wasn't that long ago, the sexist stuff was alive and well.

Where should I begin:

I worked with ALL MEN (except for one woman) in sales. The rest of the women were secretaries or administration support of some sort.  The other woman in sales was beautiful and sexy.

I was told:

Don't wear those shoes to work; we don't want to "present that image" (referring to my red leather Mary Jane pumps) - this from a man who wore a "Morning Wood" tee-shirt with a drawing of a log cabin on the front to a sales meeting. The other pretty woman wore the same shoes and was not reprimanded.  I continued to wear the shoes.

Don't ever wear sunglasses in the sun; the customer needs to see your eyes (all the men wore sunglasses).

Sex was a very frequent topic of conversation, including blow-job stories from the sales manager at any opportunity (he liked to talk about his wife and his mistress).

The end of it all was when I made salesman of the month, which required that I speak on the radio about our company, with the general manager.  I was denied the opportunity that all of the men received, and never got to be on the radio show.

I quit shortly after that.  This was 2008.

[Briefly]

13 hours ago, feministxtian said:

@klein_roeschen My grandmother was a feminist before being a feminist was the thing. She emigrated from Germany to the US when she was about 18 years old. She had a third grade education, but the woman was BRILLIANT! She could talk about art, opera, politics, books, you name it. She did the New York Times crossword puzzle in PEN! 

She had this total take no prisoners, no bullshit attitude. I mean...don't mess with her, she'd shred you! She spoke 3 languages (German, English and Spanish). She would rip the mother a new one every time she'd say something shitty about me...I was "leibschein" (I can't spell it). I was the princess of all princesses, goddess of all goddesses and the only granddaughter worth talking about. She dissed my cousin for being "too American looking" and loved the "nice German peasant" granddaughter who LOOKED like she could kick ass and take names. I'm glad she lived long enough to see her first great grandchild. 

She sounds like she was a wonderful person and a spectacular grandmother!  I'm so glad that you had her and that she got to see the great-great.

[Sarah92]

Lori's newest post is a mishmash of scripture and I can't make heads or tails of her logic. I've read it twice and it just doesn't fit together for me. Also cue women talking about how they can't lead because of how emotional they are as if men aren't emotional at all. I'm sorry, I've had guys throw fits because I refused to text them with my number  because I wasn't comfortable. Yep totally not emotional right? 

Also Robert Giggie is wrong because that's not what scripture says 

Spoiler

In Acts 1 other women are mentioned as being there with the apostles. In fact, there was mention of 120 believers being present in that passage most likely a mixture of men and women . The women had obviously become an integral part of the early church having been there for the resurrection. So it's safe to assume they might have also been present at Pentecost. If there's one thing I learn is that those numbers that separate Scripture are just a suggestion not an excuse to part out scripture for ones own purposes. 

 

Spoiler

No mention of specific gender or even just Mary being present. 

 

[louisa05]

6 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

We are the same person!  I'm a pink-loving girly girl, who can cook, can, make jam and jelly, bake, make clothes, needlepoint embroider knit, is crafty, make-up, hair, nails, fashion, etc.  All the stereotypical things.

But then I'm smart, well- read, educated, study, understand basketball, and can figure out engineering/mechanical design problems in my head, know about cars, know how to use tools, can measure lumber needed for a job, know which kind of nails to use, paint and plaster, and do mental math (%s, add columns of figures, long division, etc. -- thanks Daddy for doing those math drills while I was growing up).

I worked with a man once who said a woman who looked like me shouldn't be so smart and it was disconcerting at best.  Because how were men supposed to treat me? How could a woman be pretty/ girly girl and smart at the same time?

Well ..... Mr. Dress figured it out.  He loves me the way I am and treats me like ........ umm ... a person with lots of talents.  Like an equal.

Mr. 05 is the same. Glad that in a world of too many sexist insecure men, we found them! 

He tells everyone that I am way smarter than him. And he is happy to ask me about stuff he doesn't know...like history (he says he has learned more about American history being married to me than he was ever taught) and sports. As well as gardening both flowers and vegetables, and some other things. 

5 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Nope.  It happened in 2011. 

Been there, done that. I was passed over for department head for social studies at one school in spite of seniority and more credits because the male coaches would have "felt uncomfortable" with a woman handling their budget and such. 

Here's a cartoon that I hope you have seen: 

https://punch.photoshelter.com/image/I0000eHEXGJ_wImQ

[quiversR4hunting]

17 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

@feministxtian I would definitly have liked her and would have looked up to her as a role model! Since I don't know when she was born, but with a third grade education it's very likely she had a working class or lower farming class backround. Hard work from a young age was the norm, either in a factory or in the field. They had no use for the frail, feminine girls, because the sturdy ones got the work done. And such an evironment didn't raise a meek and quiet spirit either. And then there where 2 world wars, where a lot of men where away and the women had to take charge. I'm from a working class/ lower farming class backround and I'm proud that.

I would gess Leibchein either "Liebchen" wich is a loving form of darling or "Liebling" wich translate to beloved favorite.

 I suggest anyone interested in women in Germany during WWII read "The Women of the Castle" it's based on real life. 

My great-grandmother was from Germany. She came to USA through Canada in 1910. She was I little thing but my mom said she was tough. My grandmother (oldest of 10) said she loved baseball and would play with the kids when she wasn't pregnant. She married a drinking Irish farmer and so she did a lot of hard work in her lifetime. 

13 hours ago, smittykins said:

As a female Yankees fan, if I mentioned my favorite player(at the time)was Derek Jeter, I sometimes got “Of COURSE you like him—he’s HAWWT!*”. It couldn’t be because, you know, he was a good shortstop and an even better human being...

*not that I didn’t think he was good-looking, mind you...

I waited on him once. He smelled so good! So good. And very pretty eyes. He was being interviewed by a NY journalist and it was only the 2 of them so I was able to be very close to him. (This was around 20 or 22 years ago.)

The damn reporter paid the lunch bill and gave me a 10% tip (I also helped keep fans away) and they took up my only 6-top table for the entire freaking lunch rush.

[feministxtian]

41 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

I suggest anyone interested in women in Germany during WWII read "The Women of the Castle" it's based on real life. 

My great-grandmother was from Germany. She came to USA through Canada in 1910. She was I little thing but my mom said she was tough. My grandmother (oldest of 10) said she loved baseball and would play with the kids when she wasn't pregnant. She married a drinking Irish farmer and so she did a lot of hard work in her lifetime. 

My great-aunt was still in Germany during WW2. I heard enough of the stories. 

My grandmother's first husband was German. She divorced him in like 1940 (imagine that!! A divorced woman in 1940). She "shacked up" with my Pop-Pop for years until my aunt graduated from Nursing School in like 1960. My Pop-Pop was Irish...and I was, again, the apple of his eye. Those two could argue over anything and everything...and had a love like no other. Everything with Pop-Pop was "goddammit" and "Son of a Bitch". She told him, point blank, if he wanted the goddamn house cleaned, he was welcome to clean it his damn self. She'd rather sit and read her books or do her puzzles or sew. I can hear what my grandmother would say to Lori, none of it would be polite and it'd also be rather profane in 2 languages. 

My daughter is also much like my grandmother...feisty, profane, headstrong, independent and scary smart. 

[ladyicantxplain]

@Sarah92, I can't see Robert's comment anymore, but it never ceases to amaze me how these people can have the clear text of both Testaments TYPED OUT FOR THEM by others, and literally ignore it or not see it.

If Joel's prophecy, which is referenced by Peter in the birth of the Church at Pentecost, references DAUGHTERS PROPHESYING, how can these people refuse to see the truth?

Of course the women were in the Upper Room: Jesus had specifically commanded them, along with the male disciples, to wait for the Holy Spirit.  The women didn't go wait somewhere else; they waited as the family of God.  John was taking care of Mary, the mother of Jesus.  She wouldn't be anywhere else and neither would any of the other women who had been traveling with Jesus within the three and a half years of his public ministry.

BOTH men and women were at Pentecost, because it was prophesied in Joel and fulfilled and declared by Peter.  BOTH men and women are to prophesy today, in and out of church buildings.  Prophesy just means speaking the will and mind of God.  All Christians are to do this, everywhere.  If God's daughter's prophesied AT THE BIRTH OF THE CHURCH on Pentecost, they are certainly free to prophesy in church TODAY.

This should be so simple that a child can understand.

I am so frustrated with these nit-picking people who follow Lori, straining gnats to swallow camels.

[Petronella]

On 7/28/2018 at 6:09 PM, feministxtian said:

I wish I had recorded the epic blasting I gave the hubs that one day. I had reached my limit and had a few weeks and a good therapist to find that bitch that lived inside me. There were actually 3 epic blasts I gave him. He was a captive audience for all three of them. There was no way to get away from me. He found out real quick how it was going to be. 

That sounds unpleasant. Do you mean this to be a good thing? I wouldn't want to be treated that way.

[Petronella]

On 7/28/2018 at 4:27 PM, louisa05 said:

This was on the list of reasons I would never get married that I was entertained with at lunch every day at the Christian school. Other items on the list: 

*I cut my hair to a chin length bob. (Men prefer long hair and won't date or marry anyone with short hair. Except Mr. 05 dated and married me with my hair that exact length)

*I didn't have a nice enough car. (Getting a nice enough one would have put me in debt, and Lori said that is bad...I'm so confused). 

*I didn't craft. (Still don't. Mr. 05 is certain that this has no impact on his life whatsoever). 

*I didn't know how to cook. (Except that I did)

*I was too smart. (A man would not be able to "lead" me). 

*My legs were too long. (This automatically made me immodest unless wearing long baggy pants or very loose maxi skirts and men prefer modest women). 

*I drank too much coffee (no idea what that one was about). 

*I was "sickly". (Not after I got the hell out of that mold infested building and had a job with more work-life balance--or as much as you can manage as a teacher)

There are more. I'm sure I blocked out a lot of them. I sometimes remember one when I'm doing something that I either supposedly didn't do or  is something that I was supposedly doing wrong and thus repelling men. 

Oh, and we weren't allowed to have food in our classrooms at all. So if you wanted to eat, you had to eat in the staff lounge and listen to this shit or eat in the lunchroom with the kids and then get roped into supervision because you were there. And there was no reason for the rule other than forced socialization. 

 

I once had a summer job at a seminary library, back when I was single and just out of college. I don't remember the exact denomination, but I think it was a Presbyterian group that didn't allow musical instruments, maybe? Something like that. In any case, there seemed to be real study going on and the library was quite large, several floors. All of the students were men. All of the library employees were women.

The library allowed people to eat and drink inside it, which I didn't like, but hey whatever. Not my library. The cafeteria was in the basement and the students (all male) would bring cups of coffee and plates of food (not meals but like a muffin or sandwich or something) up to their study carrels, many of which were on the top floor.

And leave those dishes there for the (female) library staff to clean up after them.

I found that childish, lazy, and rude. I mentioned to a year-round library worker (a young woman in her twenties) that I wished the library would insist that the students clean up after themselves by returning their dishes to the basement kitchen. I thought that was a pretty reasonable expectation to set.

Her response? "*giggle* I guess you're not going to obey your husband!!"

My mind boggled.

First of all, no I wasn't going to obey my husband. Even in my evangelical days that wasn't the plan. (Still Christian now, just not evangelical.)

Second of all, even if I were going to obey a hypothetical future husband, what did that have to do with the seminary students? Was she extending obedience of future husband to obedience of all males? Why? How would that work? Yikes!

Third of all, aren't ministers supposed to serve their congregations? Shouldn't these students have been practicing that by treating the library staff with respect and kindness, and practicing maturity and responsibility that they could then model to their future congregations? What does it teach them to coddle them? Why would you want your denomination's future leaders to learn to be helpless, cavalier assholes?

Note: been married twenty years now with no "obedience" between us. Seems to be going just fine...

[feministxtian]

3 hours ago, Petronella said:

That sounds unpleasant. Do you mean this to be a good thing? I wouldn't want to be treated that way.

He had managed to get himself locked up, charged with domestic violence. Two blasts were while he was still locked up and the third was when I picked him up from jail. He heard exactly how his shit had affected me and how it was going to be if he wanted to stay married. I'd reached my limit with his behavior. It was not "nice" at all but necessary.

[Koala]

@Ken Your wife has once again used her "ministry" to hurt another Christian.  

It seems a woman new in the faith asked Mentor Lori a question. Lori's response?  Delete her question, run to her chat room to gossip about the woman, and then call her out in a blog post.

How long before Lori deletes this, as well?  These women don't matter to her at all.  They are blog fodder, and nothing else.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

25 minutes ago, Koala said:

@Ken Your wife has once again used her "ministry" to hurt another Christian.  

It seems a woman new in the faith asked Mentor Lori a question. Lori's response?  Delete her question, run to her chat room to gossip about the woman, and then call her out in a blog post.

How long before Lori deletes this, as well?  These women don't matter to her at all.  They are blog fodder, and nothing else.

Where is this screenshot from,  lori's page?

[Koala]

9 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Where is this screenshot from,  lori's page?

It's on her Facebook post linking today's blog post.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Ohhh I see it and Lori had a pointless response. 

[Koala]

I love how one reader (very kindly) recommends a book, and Lori's response is that it's better to just read the Bible.

Lori, don't you recommend YOUR book AND Debi Pearl's book, because you said you didn't learn how to be a godly wife from reading the Bible?  Remember?  You said it took Debi Pearl "spanking you with her words" (gag).

You are just looking for a reason to argue.

Funny that she never apologizes for deleting the reader's comment, only to gossip about her in the chat room, and then hold her up as blog fodder.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

You know what is way better than the book "The Power of the Transformed Wife", the Word of God. 

1 minute ago, Koala said:

I love how one reader (very kindly) recommends a book, and Lori's response is that it's better to just read the Bible.

Lori, don't you recommend YOUR book AND Debi Pearl's book, because you said you didn't learn how to be a godly wife from just reading the Bible?

You are just looking for a reason to argue.

Funny that she never apologizes for deleted the reader's comment, only to gossip about her in the chat room, and then hold her up as blog fodder.

Here is the shot from Lori's book. Its not God or the bible that transformed Lori's marriage, it was a book!

 

[louisa05]

The notion that the epistles are applicable to the modern world is just so odd. 

If KFC had a letter that Colonel Sanders wrote about some aspect of franchising and federal tax guidelines written in 1954, they wouldn't try to apply it to 2018 tax issues. 

Paul wrote a letter to a church that was having chaotic worship services and suggested a solution that was also steeped in the patriarchal culture of the day. That doesn't mean it applies to your church right now, people. And if it relates because your service is chaotic, it is possible that the directions to sit down and be quiet could apply to both disruptive men and women in 2018. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Looks like she deleted Kristin and Amy (again).