Dillards 52: Making Life Look Complicated

[apandaaries]

So I'm not on Twitter, and find trying to navigate the site without an account rather challenging.  Some Redditors have saved lots of texts and added their own commentary.  If you're interested in easier access to screenshots and such, it's kind of awesome: https://www.reddit.com/r/DuggarsSnark/comments/832ar8/derick_dillard_and_the_twitter_tantrum/

And some intriguing ideas, like this analysis of Derick's tantrum style: "I would like to take a minute to point out that this is how you know that he’s used to dealing with dumb people. He’s used to being able to tell half-truths and make misleading statements, and people just kind of project what they want to hear onto what he says. This says a LOT about his friends, family, and especially his wife."

Gotta say, I've never thought highly of DWreck, but I am finding his current actions mesmerizing...which oddly makes me want to weep for Jill. She is between a rock and hard place.  

My 2 cents -- Derick is on his 29th birthday, and things have not gone according to his plan.  He's not living abroad while spreading the good word; he's dealing with financial consequences related to refusing birth control; the family he married into has somehow not delivered ($$$) according to his expectations. 

There's a part of me that identifies with Derick. My dad also passed early, when I was in college, and somewhat unexpectedly. With the benefits of my 20/20 hindsight, I can recognize that some of my decisions in the aftermath (even years after) were influenced by my subconscious awareness of that loss and trying to "repair" things, as it were. I also went abroad for a period, returning to marriage and offspring. For Derick (and me, kind of), creating a new family seemed to be a way to move on from the loss of the family of origin...but sometimes, in the midst of grief and unarticulated feelings, this newly created family only brings more awareness about the loss.  It doesn't bring the expected happiness; it doesn't "fix" the missing pieces.

The thing is that my hyper critical mind didn't allow me to fall for a feel good narrative about how much more blessed I was than others due to Jesus (or other incarnations of the divine -- I was interested in lots of religions).  I made mistakes, but they were mine and I could own them. Responsibility was for me, not divinity.

DWreck seems to be spinning out with the weight of a wife, two kids, medical bills, no career, and his desire for (potentially poorly paid) ministry. Joshly donated to J&D's plea for funds, but JB did not (please correct me if I'm wrong).  Whatever he bargained for, he did not get. I can't imagine Jill could ever consider divorce, but if I were a betting woman, my money would say that DWreck has contemplated such actions. 

Sadly for Jill, she's going to have to choose between a husband careening out of control and the Duggar compound. She's got Anna as a role model, so insanity on Twitter will still look better than seeking out new sexual partners on Ashley Madison (probably. And hopefully he's not so horrible IRL).  He's causing some incredible tension for them, though, and for Jill, who was raised to think family was the most important part of life, that has to be incredibly challenging. 

I get the impression that DWreck is a guy who notices life's milestones, but for him, they are warning signs about his upcoming breakdowns. This is him reaching 29.  What will he be like at 30?

[bekkah]

This is the most entertaining Jill and Derick have been.  

 

Keep it coming!!! 

 

My guess is Jill will start living at TTH pretty soon. Derick will be off living his own life and paid off to keep quiet. Some mafia level crap will go down. 

[marmalade]

5 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

I don't think they filmed Henry being born. At least not that I remember, but I don't watch the show religiously. I can see TLC saying enough is enough. A cash incentive to have a home birth (and it pisses me off that anyone would accept that when it comes to the health of mother and baby) would pin liability on TLC if something went horribly wrong. 

There was cell phone footage of both of Jessa's labors, but no camera crews. They did, of course, have the recording of Mechelle's 911 call after Spurgeon was born. 

[Georgiana]

6 minutes ago, waltraute said:

As far as we could tell? As far as we could tell? What the hell does that even signify?

As far as we could tell, we were volunteers...  Right there that is some shady wording.

Sounds like there were....a lot of assumptions being made about employment status by the Dillards. 

[VelociRapture]

Twitter FYI - If the tweets in question were responses to other users then they may not show up on his main feed. There are different feed options right under his follower count. If you click on “Tweets & Replies” then those responses may be there. If not, he may have deleted them. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

ooh that birthday message was as cold as ice. nothing about him being godly or christ like nothing about his many amazing ability's. all they said is he's a good husband and father have a blessed year 

 

[TatiFish9]

6 hours ago, SassyPants said:

And would you quit your day job to do said volunteer work?

To be fair, he did not quit his daytime to be on the show. He quit his daytime to pursue what appears to to be his ???life passion??? which was to be an international missionary of some sort.

It is becoming painfully easy to assume that him doing the show was apart of a deal with the family to either keep the parent ruled gravy train going and/or to help promote his work overseas.

When Jill met Derick he was out of the United States. This is why I give him a smidgeon of the benefit of doubt. It's not like he was working at Wal-Mart when he met Jill, then up and decided to exploit the family name to ride the tide of evangelical fame. That would be risky and open to ridicule (I suppose).

I think he did Wal-Mart to bring in steady money but was promised something different to travel as a missionary with papa in law's friends.

That is much more interesting of a storyline than being an accountant at Wal-Mart. Hmmmnn...

 

 

[squiddysquid]

Seeing how difficult Derick is, you have to wonder if Walmart fired him (maybe he even did that on purpose) and then he got to go on his missioncation.

Then he was let go by the danger america mission, then TLC didn't renew their contract.

Josh was similar. First had the car dealership, failed at that, then worked for the FRC, got fired by them and TLC.

[Georgiana]

5 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

To be fair, he did not quit his daytime to be on the show. He quit his daytime to pursue what appears to to be his life passion??? which was to be an international missionary of some sort.

It is becoming painfully easy to assume. That him doing the show was apart of a deal with the family to either keep the parent ruled gravy train going and/or to help promote his work overseas.

When Jill met Derick he was out of the United States. This is why I give him a smidgeon of the benefit of doubt. It's not like he was working at Wal-Mart when he met Jill, then up and decided to exploit the family name to ride the tide of evangelical fame. That would be risky and open to ridicule (I suppose).

I think he did Wal-Mart to bring in steady money but was promised something different to travel as a missionary with papa in law's friends.

That is much more interesting of a storyline than being and accountant at Wal-Mart. Hmmmnn...

 

 

And I mean, honestly, it’s not like he gave up an established career. It wasn’t a bad time, all things considered, for him to take a sabbatical and live out a dream he had, especially if TLC was paying part of the cost. 

But then when you come back, you have to go back to working or otherwise support your family. And THATS the part Derick missed.  

[Ivycoveredtower]

8 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

To be fair, he did not quit his daytime to be on the show. He quit his daytime to pursue what appears to to be his ???life passion??? which was to be an international missionary of some sort.

It is becoming painfully easy to assume that him doing the show was apart of a deal with the family to either keep the parent ruled gravy train going and/or to help promote his work overseas.

When Jill met Derick he was out of the United States. This is why I give him a smidgeon of the benefit of doubt. It's not like he was working at Wal-Mart when he met Jill, then up and decided to exploit the family name to ride the tide of evangelical fame. That would be risky and open to ridicule (I suppose).

I think he did Wal-Mart to bring in steady money but was promised something different to travel as a missionary with papa in law's friends.

That is much more interesting of a storyline than being an accountant at Wal-Mart. Hmmmnn...

 

 

part of me thinks he did want to stick out the Walmart job but Jill is a level five clinger who had to drive him to work and come by for lunch and just stick to his side 24/7 so working a 9-5 got hard and he figured if I Have to be stuck with her all day every day might as well go back to the mission field. 

2 minutes ago, squiddysquid said:

Seeing how difficult Derick is, you have to wonder if Walmart fired him (maybe he even did that on purpose) and then he got to go on his missioncation.

 

yeah he probably got fired because Jill kept showing up and interrupting his work. 

[Beermeet]

9 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

To be fair, he did not quit his daytime to be on the show. He quit his daytime to pursue what appears to to be his life passion??? which was to be an international missionary of some sort.

 

 

 

Derick Dillwad: International man of missionary.

Bwahahaha 

[TatiFish9]

Hmmnnnn, I dunno. Everything I ever thought about all these marry-ins is shifting. There are many questions  unanswered. But Derick has responded at least 3xs now with the bottom line. He and Jill did not get paid but also thought they were volunteers while on 19K. To me that means they did not know money was being paid for their part or something close to that. He keeps using that word for a reason.  Volunteers can receive stipends. But still, why blame TLC of you know your in laws are withholding.

I am starting to assume Derrick's problem is NOT with TLC, he is just using them to ease into his platform.

[justoneoftwo]

3 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

part of me thinks he did want to stick out the Walmart job but Jill is a level five clinger who had to drive him to work and come by for lunch and just stick to his side 24/7 so working a 9-5 got hard and he figured if I Have to be stuck with her all day every day might as well go back to the mission field. 

If thats the case he is even dumber than I thought.  She may have been like that before she had a kid, but that changes things.  At least wait and see how that changes your wife before making drastic changes.  She probably can't be so clingy, and with her baby to be the focus of her life she might not need to be.  This is not to say Jill was that kind of mother, but she seemed likely to be, and he couldn't have known.

[meowfundiecatz]

1 minute ago, squiddysquid said:

Seeing how difficult Derick is, you have to wonder if Walmart fired him (maybe he even did that on purpose) and then he got to go on his missioncation.

Then he was let go by the danger america mission, then TLC didn't renew their contract.

Josh was similar. First had the car dealership, failed at that, then worked for the FRC, got fired by them and TLC.

I don't believe Derick was "fired" from Wal-Mart (or SOS), nor did Josh "fail" at the car dealership.

These are those things that are those pesky assumptions that happen on here.

Josh DID get fired by FRC, of course.

That doesn't make either of them better, but to clarify. Because D obviously likes to think we are all misled by whatever it may be and that we all believe "lies."

But we (collective we) know, of course, that Derick did leave Wal-Mart, did leave SOS (changed direction in ministry), and did have quite a problem with starting fundraisers on the internet for his current mission. Those are facts.

And we do know Josh molested 4 of his sisters and another girl (as a teen), admitted to a pornography addiction, cheated on his wife, and had an account on Ashley Madison (as an adult). Also facts.

(Seriously only saying this because this thread is like the speculation train which can be a lot of fun. But also it's easy to give Cathy more fuel with speculating.)

(No Duggars/Dillards were leghumped in the typing of this comment.)

[Sky with diamonds]

24 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

ooh that birthday message was as cold as ice. nothing about him being godly or christ like nothing about his many amazing ability's. all they said is he's a good husband and father have a blessed year 

 

Too bad that message for his birthday didn't say Keep Sweet...whch he hasn't been for ages now. 

No getting through Derick I think. He is behaving very selfish and overbearing. I'm not surprised. 

[libgirl2]

48 minutes ago, Sky with diamonds said:

I'm glad she is out of state!

And with a husband,  while far from perfect, who I highly doubt would behave this way.  In the fundie world, she struck gold.

[singsingsing]

I still think the fact that Derick is saying 'as far as we knew we were volunteers' means that (if he's telling the truth), he found out later that someone was making money off of their appearances on the show. And if so, he seems pissed. And who would that person be, but Jim Bob Duggar?

[Snarkasarus Rex]

11 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I still think the fact that Derick is saying 'as far as we knew we were volunteers' means that (if he's telling the truth), he found out later that someone was making money off of their appearances on the show. And if so, he seems pissed. And who would that person be, but Jim Bob Duggar?

I'm pretty sure Derick knew all along what he was getting into, but thought it would be much different than it actually turned out to be, so he went for it.  He's no brain trust for sure, but he's not completely stupid either.  This is his way of asking people to connect the dots because he doesn't want to come out and say it himself.  Because being a passive aggressive shit disturber is how he rolls.

[justoneoftwo]

10 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I still think the fact that Derick is saying 'as far as we knew we were volunteers' means that (if he's telling the truth), he found out later that someone was making money off of their appearances on the show. And if so, he seems pissed. And who would that person be, but Jim Bob Duggar?

I agree with this.  It is implying they were not volunteers, but thought they were.  If they just figured this out I wonder if Jessa and Ben also just figured this out.  What fallout could there be from that?

 

[Georgiana]

Or, another thought: TLC wanted to cancel the show because it wasn’t making money. But the Duggar kidults, brainwashed to think this is a genuine ministry that provides a wholesome tv show for Christian families, offered to stay on without payment if TLC would agree to keep the show running. It’s an incredibly stupid move, but the memories these folks have before TLC are likely not something they want to return to and I think they do genuinely believe that TV is their ministry and what God wants them to do. For Jill and Derick, they may have seen it as a way to publicize their ministry and get a few costs covered. Win/win.

Now, Derick wants to take it back because he realizes that’s not working out the way he intended. 

I mean, I know we all love to hate JB, but I don’t think he’s THAT malicious...especially towards his sweet Jolly Muffin. He honestly doesn’t seem that obsessed with wealth: he didn’t upgrade their house to a mansion and he doesn’t buy fancy cars/clothes. He buys or helps buy nice stuff for his kids, mostly. He supports them. That’s where a HUGE portion of known Duggar spending goes. So why suddenly would he be trying to cheat his favorite daughter?

 

[Sky with diamonds]

3 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

I agree with this.  It is implying they were not volunteers, but thought they were.  If they just figured this out I wonder if Jessa and Ben also just figured this out.  What fallout could there be from that?

 

I think the show could end up cancelled. Never mind what could happen inside the family. This bad, but of course Derick is only thinking of himself

[waltraute]

They may have thought THEY (the individual kids) were volunteers but they KNEW money was going into JBs account all along - there is no way they didn't know that the head of the family was being paid for their troubles. What they may not have understood was that they too were being paid and that their money was also going to JB, probably having to do with the way he set up contracts and what he had them sign.

[justoneoftwo]

Just now, Sky with diamonds said:

I think the show could end up cancelled. Never mind what could happen inside the family. This bad, but of course Derick is only thinking of himself

Would TLC cancel?  I always am the one who thinks all this drama will bring in more viewers, but maybe I'm wrong.  And if the kids want to be paid individually instead, why would TLC care as long as its still the same total amount?

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, Georgiana said:

I mean, I know we all love to hate JB, but I don’t think he’s THAT malicious...especially towards his sweet Jolly Muffin. He honestly doesn’t seem that obsessed with wealth: he didn’t upgrade their house to a mansion and he doesn’t buy fancy cars/clothes. He buys or helps buy nice stuff for his kids, mostly. He supports them. That’s where a HUGE portion of known Duggar spending goes. So why suddenly would he be trying to cheat his favorite daughter?

I agree with this, but I also totally believe that Jim Bob could convince himself that it was best for everyone involved if TLC paid him directly, and then he doled out money to the various kids/couples as needed. He wouldn't view that as cheating anyone, he'd view it as being a benevolent patriarch. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

Or, another thought: TLC wanted to cancel the show because it wasn’t making money. But the Duggar kidults, brainwashed to think this is a genuine ministry that provides a wholesome tv show for Christian families, offered to stay on without payment if TLC would agree to keep the show running. It’s an incredibly stupid move, but the memories these folks have before TLC are likely not something they want to return to and I think they do genuinely believe that TV is their ministry and what God wants them to do. For Jill and Derick, they may have seen it as a way to publicize their ministry and get a few costs covered. Win/win.

Now, Derick wants to take it back because he realizes that’s not working out the way he intended. 

I mean, I know we all love to hate JB, but I don’t think he’s THAT malicious...especially towards his sweet Jolly Muffin. He honestly doesn’t seem that obsessed with wealth: he didn’t upgrade their house to a mansion and he doesn’t buy fancy cars/clothes. He buys or helps buy nice stuff for his kids, mostly. He supports them. That’s where a HUGE portion of known Duggar spending goes. So why suddenly would he be trying to cheat his favorite daughter?

 

If the rumor about the other TLC show  is true that just might be the case I remember reading a rumor that the Sister wives took a cut per person to stay on the air another season. (now how true that is who knows) but it is interesting to think about. 

1 minute ago, justoneoftwo said:

Would TLC cancel?  I always am the one who thinks all this drama will bring in more viewers, but maybe I'm wrong.  And if the kids want to be paid individually instead, why would TLC care as long as its still the same total amount?

I don't know the dugger's do have their fans but I don't think it's as many as they'd wish. even their facebook is seeming to still get more hate then love. people are getting tired of the courtship wedding birth and lets do it again and soon they will run out of those unless they plan to force Jana and john to marry or push teen grooms.